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Episode guide: 510- The Painted Hills (with short: ‘Body Care & Grooming’)

Short: (1947) College students are reminded that they need to bathe and wear clean clothes if they hope to get some.
Movie: (1951) In 1870s California, a loyal collie witnesses the murder of a gold prospector.

First shown: 9/26/93
Opening: The bots are putting on their own version of “The Tonight Show”
Invention exchange: Dr. F presents the cholester-do all, J&tB demonstrate back-talk
Host segment 1: Crow and Tom debate the messy woman in the short
Host segment 2: Reports on bearded guys include Crow’s paper on Rutherford B. Hayes
Host segment 3: Crow is crushed into an ingot
End: J&tB discuss is Lassie is guilty of murder, Dr. F. tries to revive Frank
Stinger: Naughty girl goes into the shower
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (51 votes, average: 4.41 out of 5)

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• It was certainly a bold move, picking this movie, and westerns are always fun to riff, even westerns like this one, that do it doggy style. But I have to put this in the “good not great” category, something like the previous episode. The movie’s just a little too good (I actually got caught up in the story), while the riffing and segments are hit and miss.
• This episode was included in Shout’s Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Turkey Day Collection (aka Vol. XXXI).
• Unlike practically all the other episodes, there are no free versions of this episode on YouTube, although you can rent it for $3.99. (Oops, since I wrote that, one appeared. Never mind.)
References.
• In the opening bit, I know Joel is just setting up Crow’s last punchline, but you can’t get sued for making fun of Congress. Kinda ruined the joke for me.
• A Youtube clip of the opening bit was often linked to as a way to disparage Leno during the great Leno/Coco wars. Leno hasn’t changed much.
• The actual prop Frank is wearing around his neck during the invention exchange is kinda cool. “Eee-kay-gee, does it work great!”
• Then-current reference: short-lived TV show “Delta.”
• The short seems to be aimed at college students. Did they really show this sort of thing in COLLEGE? Did college kids in the 1950s really need to be told to shower occasionally?
• That moment in the short where the movie moves backwards and Tom does the backward talking–do you think that’s what sparked the “Back Talk” invention?
• Segment 1 is MST3K at its best, witty, wise and fun. Love the reference to “Scoop Jackson Democrats and Jacob Javitz Republicans.” Those are pretty much gone.
• “Pile-On Pete” was an instant sensation in the message boards following this episode. As was the line “Snausages!”
• This movie was a Lassie rarity. In most Lassie movies, Lassie is a female character that was generally played by male dogs. But in this case, the character of Shep, a female, is actually played by a female dog.
• Segment 2 goes on a little long, but there’s some good stuff there. I like how you can hear Tom say “Rutherford B. Hays!” as Cambot is halfway down through the movie sign door.
• Callback: “Smoochers on mah property!” (Eye Creatures) “Sampo!” (Day The Earth Froze.)
• Segment 3: well, they’re doin’ stuff to the bots again. Funny puppet, though.
• Crow says “Thank you for extruding me” (like a little kid thanking his grandma for an itchy sweater he’ll never wear) as they enter the theater…
• The ending bit in Deep 13 is great: I love the food popping out of Frank’s mouth as Dr. F gives him CPR.
• A rarity: the stinger is from the short, rather than the movie.
• Cast and crew roundup: This movie has very few connections to the other movies. Makeup guy William Tuttle also worked on “Girls Town.” In front of the camera, Ann Doran was also in “Kitten With A Whip.
• CreditsWatch: Host segments directed by Trace Beaulieu.
• Fave riff from short: “And look at that sidewalk!” Honorable mention: “Those … nose!”
• Fave riff from the movie: “First thing I’m gonna do is buy me a montage!” Honorable mention: “Oh for the want of a Frisbee!”

123 Replies to “Episode guide: 510- The Painted Hills (with short: ‘Body Care & Grooming’)”

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  1. somebody says:

    i just had totell someone that cause someone said something about my grandpa and it got me mad it feels so good 2 get it off my chest and i just wanna thank yall 4 listening by by now thanx

       0 likes

  2. “I wonder if you were to play what Tom says backwards-Uh, backwards if it would actually say something?”

    I was curious about this as well, so I had a go. I recorded that section and played it backwards. Joel’s voice sounds like nonsense, but Tom really does say “remember to tape delta” backwards (it sounds like “ree-mem-beehr too tape dehlta”). The tape recording that he then plays is much clearer, and was presumably faked.

    My guess is that they recorded their voices forwards, then reversed the recordings, then they tried to learn the backwards speech phonetically, but it didn’t work very well so they mocked it up.

    MST3K takes on a whole new dimension if you listen to it backwards.

       6 likes

  3. Spector says:

    One of my least favorite episodes. Maybe because Lassie was such an iconic and beloved screen character, but I just didn’t enjoy this one. I remember looking forward to it but came away disappointed. I’ve tried watching it a few more times over the years to see if I would feel any differently but nope, this one just didn’t work. One of the Brains’ few failures. Hey, they can’t all be great!

       2 likes

  4. rockyjones says:

    Despite the outstanding short, the movie itself is on my “unwatchable” list. Besides the fact that the riffing is fairly ho-hum, I’ve just got a huge problem with any form of entertainment that exploits animals (Don’t EVEN get me started on the circus). As a kid, anytime that watching “Lassie” was unavoidable, I can remember how stiff, forced, and unnatural-feeling every scene with the canine star seemed. You could “feel” every command being issued off-screen by Lassie’s trainer. I always felt kinda bad for this beautiful, sweet dog who would, no doubt, probably rather be chasing squirrels around the backyard or just laying in the sun somewhere, licking himself…

       3 likes

  5. rockyjones says:

    And…the movie itself just seems really bitter and mean-spirited. The color is even depressing.

       2 likes

  6. Eighth Street says:

    This was the first MST3K I ever saw. I took the day off from kindergarten (17 or 18 years ago? yikes) because we were getting cable hooked up for the first time. As I remember MST3K was the first thing we turned on and I was hooked. I just couldn’t stop laughing.

       0 likes

  7. Finnias Jones says:

    This is a very funny episode despite being almost too good/sincere (?) a movie to deserve mocking. I too get involved in the story and characters. But it gradually degrades into tedium with scene after scene of a person and/or animal going somewhere, then going back to where they were before. Then going back to do it all over again. Every location appears at least twice. The film-makers start with what seems to be an epic scope, featuring scenic Western locales, then narrow their focus down to spiral like water in a toilet. I keep expecting Joel & the Bots to say, “Hey, we just saw this scene. It’s deja vu all over again.” At least the snow at the end was new (and a major deus ex machina).

    This film also features the regrettable plot-device “Let’s kill off our most likable character (Jonathon/Kenny Rogers) halfway through the movie”.

    On a personal note, Lassie’s death throes bring a tear to my eye as I had a cat die a few years back (no, I didn’t poison him) and was reminded of watching helplessly as my good friend weakened and lost his vitality. I have a hard time laughing at the riffs during that scene, even though I know the dog is only “acting”.

       3 likes

  8. Dan in WI says:

    Maybe the voice isn’t pitch perfect, but Trace’s impression of Jay Leno is dead on in delivery and mannerisms.

    I like Clayton’s invention. The only problem is he doesn’t play up the evil aspect as much as he could. He was a bit too flippant for this kind of thing.

    For the second straight week Trace channels the future Bill Corbet with the Rutherford B Hayes report. The gem of this report was making him part of the original ZZ Top with James Garfield and Chester Allen Arthur.

    Then current reference: Prange Way. It was an upper Midwest regional chain version of K-Mart. It went belly up a couple years after this episode aired.

    Favorite Riffs:
    Short:
    Skin is shown falling away. All “Wee, Woo-hoo,” etc…

    Crow “Hey you can’t say lubricate”

    Girl in shower and all make Psycho noises and motions.

    Movie:
    The Daniele Amfitheatrof credit appears on the screen. Crow “Hey isn’t that the song that Big Bird sang about the alphabet?”

    Joel about the dead Jonathan: “Remember last week when he was alive? Well that didn’t last.”

    Taylor falls off the cliff with gun frozen in his hand. Tom “gun’s loose now. Thanks.”

       2 likes

  9. robot rump! says:

    Admitedly, they should focus on college kids today not bathing or at least making an effort to get wet with the intent on cleaning themselves. to me the cholester-do-all is the best and darkest of the invention exchanges. the more Dr. F cranks up on Frank the harder i laugh. it took three viewings on youtube to hear Dr. F’s last lines. the movie..eh…i can live without

       1 likes

  10. Sitting Duck says:

    Bob #14: It’s like Treasure of Sierra Madre with a dog and a mediocre script.

    You mean it’s like Treasure of Sierra Madre with a dog. :P

       2 likes

  11. Colossus Prime says:

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I love Crow’s reports. And I really appreciate how that element carried over to the Sci-Fi era only with video use.

       3 likes

  12. Fred Burroughs says:

    Let me explain how industrials (training videos) work: If you want to show How to Be Neat and Not a Slob (which is a good goal for any generation), you generally don’t show real slobs, cause that’s just gross. You show some safe sanitized slightly slobby behavior, and you get the added bonus of shaming the slobs even more to clean up their act. (“THAT’s what you think is slobby? Oh No…) That said, I preferred the messy version of the girl too.

    Painted Hills is funny but forgettable. I think you have to have the patience and appreciation of the ‘animal movie’ sub genre (not a western, of course) to last through it. Plenty of great opportunities to do Lassie voice-overs, since she;s not talking obviously. They should have done more of those. “No thanks, I’m full; I had poison for lunch.” The best sequence is the struggling sick Lassie: “your dog too can have BUNS OF STEEL!”

       1 likes

  13. Tom Carberry says:

    Gary Gray (who played Tommy Blake) was born Gary Dickson Gray on December 18, 1936 in Los Angeles, California. In 1950, he played the son of Nancy Davis and James Whitmore in the classic, The Next Voice You Hear… (1950). His performance in that film led to a term contract at Metro, where he starred with the original Lassie in the Technicolor The Painted Hills (1951). After completing the latter, he spent more of this time attending public school. He graduated from Van Nuys High in the San Fernando Valley, where he lettered in varsity diving and gymnastics. He then attended Valley College, majoring in theater arts. Throughout the fifties Gary continued to work doing mainly television – guesting on many popular series. Gary always loved Westerns and owned horses. Returning to features, Gary appeared in the Universal-International color western Wild Heritage (1958). He made his last film, the cult western Terror at Black Falls (1962) with House Peters Jr. and Peter Mamakos (Catalina Caper). He died of cancer in Brush Prairie, Clark County, Washington, April 4, 2006.

    Favorite lines (Body Care and Grooming):

    It was the cleanest of times, it was the dirtiest of times. [Thank you Charles Dickens]
    “Ah, Spring.” Filthy, shameful Spring.
    I’m late for my Hitler Youth meeting.
    “But good appearance is more than dressing up like a fashion plate.” It’s looking like Bruno Hauptmann.
    “Don’t let this happen to you.” Don’t change a tire with your face.
    Keep watching the medicine cabinet. Keep watching the medicine cabinet!

    Favorite lines (The Painted Hills):

    What kind of agent do you have to have to get your name listed under Lassie?
    Lassie won’t let the director photograph her other side, you know.
    I’m gonna snap this kid’s will like an old pretzel.
    You know, his head just doesn’t have the structural support for that hair.
    He’s got mange, distemper and lots of ticks.
    Kenny Rogers is Moses.
    Well, he’s got child bearing hips.
    A lifetime of Snausages or I sing like a canary.
    My trainer says I’m not allowed to talk to you.
    I don’t think his testimony will hold up in court.
    Like I always say, a dog’s gotta know her limitations.
    Tyrone Power has a sleepless night.
    You know, Lassie’s not really that hungry she just dug up Jonathan and well…
    Natalie Wood. Now these are scenes we didn’t see in The Searchers.
    Tommy, ya like refried poison, ah beans? Beans?
    Dog Tossing, tonight on a Current Affair.
    Ah, Mr. Shep, you have a nasty habit of surviving.
    I know what you’re thinking, did I fire six shots or only five? Well, this film is so poorly made, it doesn’t matter.
    Alex Trebek, no!
    Guys, this couldn’t be lamer. I mean the dog should make his brain explode—Scanner Dog, that I would buy.
    The Painted Hills, Blood Quest II.

    Final Thought: “Well, who died and made that scabby mutt judge, jury and executioner?” I give this one 4 out of 5 stars.

       5 likes

  14. lancecorbain says:

    This episode has one of my all-time favorite riffs in it, one that definitely would go in my own personal hall of fame montage(weekend discussion topic?)-during the mining montage, appropo enough, Jonathon is happily and excitedly saying something we can’t hear, probably something about how lucky they are and blessed, and Crow says “The world is dying!”…..gah! Kills me every time.

       3 likes

  15. Mitchell "Rowsdower" Beardsley says:

    I have to admit, when I heard they were doing a Lassie movie I thought it would be lame, but this one is surprisingly consistently funny throughout. I think these last 3 Joels were great. And 2 westerns in a row to boot. I never thought about that. Guess I never really thought of Lassie as a western, but I guess it is.

    I wonder what the odds are of this coming out on DVD seeing as it’s Lassie and all.

    Favorite riff: “All his woodland friends are coming to help!”

    and the small dog ‘pumping his stomach’. Man I lost it.

       3 likes

  16. Cheapskate Crow says:

    I agree that this one is in the good not great category. I remember about the time this episode aired, the Simpsons did a similar bit to the Leno impersonation. The owner of the Springfield radio station is threatening to fire the zany morning show DJs and says he can replace them with the DJ3000 robot. The DJ Robot comes in and says something like “Looks like those clowns in Congress did it again.” The real DJ’s response: “How does he keep up on the news like that?”
    I always love Crow’s mangling of history and his report in this episode was maybe the highlight of the show. Average movie but very predictable and the guy throws himself down the snowbank at the end. I also liked the Tom Bombadil reference in the movie, I can never forgive Peter Jackson for somehow not having time for him in his movies that were already miles too long with self-indulgence. But that’s for another thread :)
    As for the short, I agree with Crow that the girl was prettier before the makeover and I can’t believe how hard the narrator was on her in the short.

       2 likes

  17. BIG61AL says:

    Great short and a great movie. I always call this “KILL, LASSIE ,KILL” :dog:

       2 likes

  18. Sharktopus says:

    That hair. Those, er, nose.

       4 likes

  19. sol-survivor says:

    So this makes three Christmas movies MST3K did, kinda. Since Shep was under a Christmas tree with a bow around her neck one can guess she was a Christmas gift to Tommy. And Jonathan did look a little like Santa.

    I for one love this episode. I haven’t watched it for a couple years since I no longer have a working VCR and I only had it from my own original recording, but I think I’m going to look it up on YouTube. I do have the unMSTed movie but have not watched it. The running time listed is 68 minutes so I’m guessing not much if anything was cut out. I think one can probably assume Lin was a good, decent man until the gold fever hit him. Sad, really.

    Finally, sweet Metamucil…

       2 likes

  20. FordPrefect says:

    • This episode has not been released on DVD.

    Apparently Warner owns this movie, but you’d never know it considering how many low rent home entertainment production companies have released the film on DVD because they assume it’s in the public domain. I wonder if Warner has purposely caused Shout Factory (and previously Rhino) to avoid releasing this episode while they continue to ignore those “50 Movies” DVD sets.

       1 likes

  21. jjb3k says:

    “Wait, I’m a dog! I can’t process this much information at once!”

    Another one of those episodes I’ll never, ever get tired of! Hands down, one of MST3K’s all-time finest. I keep thinking I’m going to hurt myself from laughing so hard. :)

    Dr. F is great in the invention exchange. “At some point, this will kill Frank, but I think it’s worth it.” And I love these shows where the invention exchanges are so well contrasted – the Mads make something dark and dangerous, while Joel makes something light and helpful. :)

    “You know, people were whiter back then.” Oh god, “Body Care and Grooming” is one of my favorite shorts, and another one that I show to newbies to get ’em acquainted with the show. “Skin sucks” never fails to make me laugh like a lunatic.

    “Thirty years of mud scrabblin’, and when I do find the glory dust, I go off half-cocked!”
    “But enough vernacular…”

    Crow in particular is just on fire in this episode. So many of my favorite riffs are his: “Now, is this the real Old West, or the Roy Rogers Old West where they had electricity and cars?”, “Ah, just hit him with a class ring!”, “You know, his head just doesn’t have the structural support for that hair”, “Ugh, shouldn’t have eaten all those socks!”, “Mount Rushmore!…Before it was built”, “The world is dying!”, “So this guy comes in, stops the plot cold, and leaves”, and so on. A tour de force for Trace. :)

    The “Snausages!” thing is great, but I also love their observation of Jonathan’s odd pronunciation of “work” as “wook”. They just sprinkle it throughout the episode (“It’s noon, should we be wooking?”) so it keeps leaping out at you and surprising you. “Wooks every time!”

    Tommy getting the bags of gold out of the floor always leaves me rolling with laughter:

    “Grab the teapot and come after me.”
    “Get my magazines out!”
    “Now you go in there and shut the top.”
    “Is there a point to this?”
    “Look inside, Tommy…” “DO IT!!!”

    The Rutherford B. Hayes sketch is a thing of pure beauty. I almost wish I was still in school so I could actually give this report. “Oh, and his blood type was AB.”

    “Hey, the car’s rollin’!”

    I love Servo’s blase attitude during Lassie’s “death” scene. “If she’s dyin’, she’s gonna take as many ants with her as possible.”

    And then comes the chase up the mountain, just chock-full of great stuff. “Woof! I could taste the ozone on that one!”, “Looks like Barbasol had an industrial spill”, “Hey, aren’t they supposed to turn into a giant snowball when that happens?”, “Alex Trebek, NOOO!”, “My gun’s turned into a Bomb Pop!”, “You don’t know me, but AAAAAHHH…”

    “Oh look, they’re inside one of those shakey snow worlds.” You mean a snowglobe, Joel? :)

    Now I’m hungry. Who’s got Snausages?

       8 likes

  22. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    #36

    I think a film has to spend a larger percentage of time depicting cowboys riding horses in order to qualify as a western per se. This was first and foremost a LASSIE film.

    Not dissimilarly, lots of films have deliberately humorous moments (or at least ATTEMPT to have them; remember, the very act of failing desperately proves that at least you TRIED), but that doesn’t necessarily qualify them as comedies, not even failed ones. Really, a lot of it’s subjective.

       1 likes

  23. losingmydignity says:

    A solid effort that always seems a little better than I remember each time I watch. The film has that dark element which makes for some dark riffing–always a pleasure. The montage scene is a kick. The host segs are really really funny as well.

    But it’s the short that stands out. One of their best, possibly in my top 5.

    Sampo, I imagine college students DID need some lessons in showering back then. It’s easy to remember that our very American obsession with hygiene dates back to this time. It’s easy to forget sometimes that such cultural demands didn’t always exist, that there was a time when water was scarce and showering regularly a luxury for the rich.

    These 50’s propaganda film really worked–for better and for worse.

    B+

       1 likes

  24. Bombastic Biscuit Boy says:

    Jesus! Lassie digging up murder victims…Lassie hiding from murderous prospectors…Lassie driving killers off cliffs to their deaths…who wrote this script, Thomas Harris?

    I love this film; it’s so ridiculous, and JtB have a field day with it. I especially like when they fill in lines for Lin after he turns bad:

    Dang! I mean…good!
    Cling peaches…button popped up, but that’s OK!
    Huh, 1 gram of poison per pound…hey, how much you weigh, kid?
    Come on! Your poison’s gettin’ cold!
    Ah, first I better see if you’re alive…THEN I’ll kill ya!
    Just think! No school, ever again!
    Jonathan is dead son…and I helped!
    Shep told me to kill him!
    If you want to know any more facts you’ll have to speak to my lawyer…
    Shep doesn’t like you, Tommy! She told me that!

    For the record, I too like her dirty!

       2 likes

  25. sol-survivor says:

    I’m listening to this episode on YouTube right now while I’m working. I think Crow got his Rutherford B. Hayes facts straight from Wikipedia…

       2 likes

  26. Cornjob says:

    It’s nice to know that if I work hard my whole life to accomplish something I’ll get murdered by some shyster so he can steal it. Then he’ll poison my pet, try to kill a 10 year old, discredit anyone who knows the truth and make them look like liars. And the only hope there is of any reckoning depends of my having a close relationship with a preternaturally capable and murderous dog. This episode of Lassie brought to you by Cormac McCarthy.

    Oh, and I prefer sloppy. Some of my favorite MST ladies weren’t wearing any socks.

       6 likes

  27. Cornjob says:

    Oh, and am I the only person who thinks Jonathan looks like Charlton Heston? Sorry if this has already been addressed.

       0 likes

  28. Fred Burroughs says:

    &7 Cornjob – I thought Jonathan looked (or sounded) just like Exeter from This Island Earth. (or his other role, the centurion from The Robe.)

    One of my favorite things about MST is when they analyze the movie instead of just swallowing whatever they give us: does the plot make sense, what does it say about the filmmakers vision? (e.g. Jimmy’s psyche mobile in I Accuse My Parents asks, ‘are his parents really at fault?’) In Painted Hills, the question is “Does Lassie murder?” because this is one dark twisted story for ostensibly being a kid’s movie about a dog. Is she justified by self-defense, or revenge? As a dog, is she less culpable, or does that disqualify her from judgment on humans?

    But that Taylor character is one of the most evil in an MST film- he is a trusted family friend, rugged, handsome, hard working, but the combination of finding gold and growing a beard push him over the edge. He doesn’t just cover up his murder, though, he is willing to befriend the kid and try to brainwash him into supporting his story. Then he goes on his dogicidal rampage into the mountains after Lassie without so much as a coat; it’s clear he has really snapped. How far does he chase her? How long are they gone? It seems like months since they end up in the himalayas, but then the kid finds her immediately so maybe they just went a mile away and hit a freak snowstorm….baah.

       5 likes

  29. Slartibartfast, maker of fjords says:

    It seems that every time I watch a MST, I notice something new. In the short, “Body Care and Grooming,” it was that the girl who was contrasted as clean and dirty was also one of the students in the classroom. She appeared to be in her “clean” stage at that time.

       0 likes

  30. Yipe Striper says:

    “…even westerns that do it doggy style.”

    ahhhh, fer fun!

       1 likes

  31. Kathy says:

    The second of the only two films that I want to ask The Brains, “WHY???”

    The first being “The Girl in Lover’s Lane”…making it two depressing movies in a row.

       1 likes

  32. Alex says:

    I always liked the discussion of whether Lassie is guilty of murder. Joel’s apparent conclusion was that Lassie was not human, ergo, not bound by the rules of human morality. However, Lassie did exhibit strange human traits all the time. ‘Revenge’ is definently a human concept. :)

       1 likes

  33. Watch-out-for-Snakes says:

    This is a one of those “good not great” episodes for me. I used to pop this one in all the time, just for the short (which is really good), but the movie itself never really did it for me, and upon most recent viewing, it still doesn’t. The Invention Exchange falls flat, although the size of the “Back Talk” alone is comical, and the Host Segments are pretty good, but not stellar. The riffing is good, there’s laughs to be had, the movie’s not quite awful, but I still would never call this one a favorite..


    RIFFS:

    short:
    Body Care & Grooming:
    Servo: “They’re cops!”

    Crow: “I’m late for my Hitler youth meeting.”

    animation of dead skin flaking off,
    All 3: “Yippee! Woo-hoo!”

    Servo: “AH, Carnival of Souls here.”

    guy closes window,
    Crow: “There, that will keep the devil out.”

    Crow: “And remember, when you touch yourself, the saints cry.” :blush:


    movie,
    the Painted Hills:

    –my copy is missing the opening credits, starts right with the “directed by” credit…–

    Crow: “He had sand in his lap and he needed help?”

    Crow: “Oh, man, I shouldn’t have eaten all those socks.” —-this is for Lassie; later he repeats this joke for Jonathan, which was funnier..

    Joel: “What are you gonna do with all this BisQuick?”

    Joel: “Looks like the montage finally blew over.”

    Joel: “I just have to touch that hair.”

    Joel: “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing..”

    Servo: “Stay off the moors!” —–American Werewolf in London reference…

    Joel: “Watch out for squibs, Lassie!”

    Servo: “Guys, this couldn’t be lamer. I mean, the dog should make his brain explode, Scanner-Dog. That I would buy.”


    Me too Servo,
    me too…


    Oh Lassie,
    3/5

       3 likes

  34. noordledoordle says:

    The CorelDRAW pun alone is worth the price of admission for me.

       1 likes

  35. Michael Aguilar says:

    I have been a fan of mystery science theater ever since I discovered it. I just got back from G-Fest 19 and showed my film, unfortunately I did not win. I want to leave a link to one of my films on YouTube that is tribute mst3k.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVCfTJsAvk8&feature=plcp

       1 likes

  36. Turkey Volume Guessing Man says:

    I think that the “you could get sued” thing refers to Crow’s blatant rip-off of Jay Leno. But you’re right, Congress can’t do a thing about people making fun of them. And even if they could, they’d be too busy having sex to do anything about it.

       3 likes

  37. tinaw says:

    I watched this movie for what I believe is the first time a month or so ago. I caught it on YouTube, which is how I’m filling in the gaps for episodes I don’t have. Reading my notes and the previous comments have refreshed my memory about the episode. Otherwise, it’s a forgettable one for me. I like the Body Care and Grooming short, particularly the joke “look at those . . . nose.” I also want to know why you can’t look fabulous in school. They put down a girl who was wearing chunky jewelry, a flowery dress and cute shoes. I applaud her for not falling into the conformist crap. One thing I liked about the movie was the “glory hole” vernacular, made funnier because of the clips they show regularly on The Soup. You don’t have to do anything to make it sound vulgar.

       0 likes

  38. Tim S. Turner says:

    Quite possibly the worst episode of the Joel era. Absolutely laugh-free.

       2 likes

  39. Tim S. Turner says:

    Let me restate: the short is fun, the film is the nadir of the Joel era.

       2 likes

  40. Jacob Bennett says:

    why isnt this episode on dvd if the film is in public domain is it because of the short

       0 likes

  41. Ian L. says:

    One of the best of Joel’s half of season 5. It’s hard to hate a film with Lassie in it, yet Joel and the bots juxtapose nicely with some edgy riffs. And of course, the short was wall-to-wall gold.

    A sampling of favorite riffs:

    “Get yer dog outta here.”

    “Now is this the real old west, or the Roy Rogers old west where they had electricity and cars?”

    “Well, we worked the scam again. We get a free meal.”

    “Mount Rushmore!… Before it was built.”

    “Come on, Kringle!”

    (re: Pilot Pete) “So this guy comes in, stops the plot cold, and leaves.”

    “Look, Bigfoot putting on a blazer.”

    Servo rubbing it into Crow that Lassie’s probably a goner after eating the poison

    “A lifetime of snausages or I sing like a canary.”

    “The Painted Hills: Blood Quest II. Some things, they don’t teach in obedience school.”

       4 likes

  42. bartcow says:

    The Rutherford B Hayes report is golden. I quote some part of it all the time. The short is definitely better than the movie, but I enjoy the movie. But the Hayes report…I love it when Crow just gets enthusiastically random.

       2 likes

  43. goalieboy82 says:

    as for youtube video of episode:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oae0Sawm9eg

       0 likes

  44. goalieboy82 says:

    as for youtube video of episode:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oae0Sawm9eg

    Jacob Bennett:
    why isnt this episode on dvd if the film is in public domain is it because of the short

    if anything its was the Lassie trademark.

       0 likes

  45. Sitting Duck says:

    The Painted Hills fails the Bechdel Test. None of the female characters converse with one another.

    I’m surprised there wasn’t a, “Hi-Keeba!” when Jonathan disarmed Taylor before he could shoot Pile-On Pete.

    This film must take place in the same alternate universe as It’s a Wonderful Life, seeing as how poisonous substances are kept in bottles simply labeled Poison.

    The Crow as an Ingot puppet was a neat piece of work.

    Favorite riffs

    Body Care and Grooming: They’re cops!

    “Ah spring!”
    Filthy, shameful spring.

    Hi, I’m Moisty, the national spokesman for sweat.

    “And it goes without saying that only clean lingerie should go next to that clean skin.”
    Oh yes, say that again!

    Hey, Grandpa did fall down the well.

    Now is this the real Old West or the Roy Rogers Old West where they had electricity and cars?

    But I wanted a Super Soaker.

    First thing I’m going to do is buy me a montage.

    Alright, new rule. No crusty old evangelists.

    The violins are urging him on.

    Leon Trotsky in the action-adventure you thought he’d never make.

    It’s the Von Trapp Family Prospectors.

    A lifetime of Snausages or I sing like a canary.

    Mr. Shep, you have a nasty habit of surviving.

    I think Barbasol had an industrial spill.

    I know what you’re thinking. Did I fire six shots or only five? Well this film is so poorly made, it doesn’t matter.

       3 likes

  46. dakotaboy says:

    If this is a Lassie movie, why is the dog named Shep and the boy named Tommy?

       0 likes

  47. Michael Howe says:

    I always liked the voice Joel used for Shep’s thinking in this one.

    And of course, my favorite bit is:

    Tommy: “And nothing’s gonna stop me until I do!”

    *BOOM of Thunder*

    Joel: “This is God…STOP!!!”

       0 likes

  48. Bruce Boxliker says:

    I agree on this one- good, not great. I like whenever they debate points made in shorts (like if Mr. B is male or female). I’d also point out that Shep didn’t kill the guy, he pretty much killed himself with his own stupidity.

    And yes, people of all ages need to be told to shower. I work at a public library, and we’ve got a few regular people (not homeless!) who can stink up the entire building within 2 minutes of walking in (and it stays for hours after they leave!).

       5 likes

  49. Cameron Bane says:

    somebody:
    ecsuse you he is my grandpa. who do u thank u is talkin bout my grandpa like dat dont get me started talkin bout yo grandpa i can go on and on u dont no me like dat. try me go head start

    No fair typing in tongues.

       1 likes

  50. Johnny's nonchalance says:

    Bruce Boxliker:
    I agree on this one- good, not great. I like whenever they debate points made in shorts (like if Mr. B is male or female). I’d also point out that Shep didn’t kill the guy, he pretty much killed himself with his own stupidity.

    And yes, people of all ages need to be told to shower. I work at a public library, and we’ve got a few regular people (not homeless!) who can stink up the entire building within 2 minutes of walking in (and it stays for hours after they leave!).

    Oops, sorry!

       1 likes

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