Movie: (1978 original TV show episodes; 1986 compilation movie) Alien marauder Ken becomes a fugitive from his home planet, then joins the Earth spaceship Bacchus 3 to fight against his former masters. Meanwhile, his girlfriend Rita is sent on a deadly mission.
First shown: 8/17/91
Opening: Old Joel Robinson had a farm?
Invention exchange: The mads demonstrate their eye, ear, nose & throat dropper; Joel has invented a musical chair and there’s a special guest in Deep 13: Jack Perkins!
Host segment 1: J&tB stage a hat party
Host segment 2: Joel forces Crow and Tom to reenact a scene from the movie
Host segment 3: Crow and Tom are confused by the movie, so Joel helps out using Syd Field’s “Screenplay.”
End: Joel explains his buttons and reads a letter, in Deep 13, they’re still torturing Jack Perkins.
Stinger: “AHAHAHAHA….you’re STUCK HERE!”
(152 votes, average: 4.63 out of 5)
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• Wow, this was really a watershed episode. There’s so much going on here. The sketches are all great, the movie is mind-boggling and the riffing is everything you want from an MST3K episode. An instant and enduring classic. Plus, it’s full of phrases that immediately became part of the MSTie lexicon, from “You’re stuck here!” to the merry tune, “He tried to kill me with a forkliiiiift….” One of the best.
• This episode was on Shout’s “Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection: Vol XXIV.”
• Love the opener. These folks have been around farmers and they know farmer talk. Tom’s “help ussss!” is priceless.
• Mike is also hilarious as Jack Perkins. Jack would return, and not just in Deep 13. The character of “the host” who introduced the “MST3K Hour” shows was loosely based on Jack, though he was never explicitly called Jack Perkins. By the way, the real Mr. Perkins reportedly found Mike’s impersonation as hilarious as everybody else did.
• Hopelessly dated line: “He’s in more trouble than ‘Hudson Hawk’ at the box office!” It seemed like a big deal at the time.
• Call forward: Tom mentions “Marooned.”
• The “Marooned” mention comes as part of a succession of bits Tom and Crow do in the theater when they pretend they are scif-fi geeks. Geek culture is now robustly defended by the members of its community. Did (does?) anyone who considers themselves part of that community have a problem with these bits?
• Vaguely dirty lines: Joel: “I wanna die in the thong section of Victoria’s Secret!” Also: “Speaking of punishing mercilessly….rooowrrr!”
• Literary riff: Tom: “Biff!” Crow: “Happy!” SOMEbody’s read/seen “Death of a Salesman.”
• Does this episode hold the record for the most callbacks? Among them: “Third planet from the sun shall be called…Earth” (Women of the Prehistoric Planet); a reference to the “geometric nucleus” (Cave Dwellers); “It was after the…Robot Holocaust;” “I was in Time of the Apes!” “…and a good friend” (Rocketship XM); “Trumpy, you’re stinky!” (Pod People) “Hikeeba!” (Women of the Prehistoric Planet.) “Hey, like the Wild Rebels!” “This must be the [fill in the blank]…I’ve heard them talk about…so much…lately?” (Gamera); “Rock climbing, Joel.” (Lost Continent). Did I miss any?
• Crow has a right to be concerned in segment two. Didn’t Gypsy have a six-foot foam scorpion stinger hanging off her butt during episode 113- THE BLACK SCORPION? There’s a precedent!
• I noticed something this time about the “forklift” song. The first time they sing “This is the chase, Rocky and Ken,” they do so before the movie reveals that it was Rocky driving the forklift (though Ken immediately suspects him and says so).
• When Joel punches the bots in segment 2, note how VERY GENTLY he punches them. He knows how fragile they are.
• Joel is great in the closing bit. “That’s portion control. Next question.”
• This week’s cast and crew roundup is a short one: screenwriter Keiichi Abe also was one of the writers for “Time of the Apes.” That’s it.
• CreditsWatch: Trace and Frank are still guest “villians” (misspelled) and Dr. F’s last name is still spelled “Forrestor.” Special Make-up: Crist Ballas and Glen Griffin. I’m guessing that’s Mike’s Jack Perkins getup. This was Faye Burkholder’s last episode doing regular hair and makeup.
• Fave riff: “Uh, you’re crying on my bombs.” Honorable mention: “Oh, those are bugs. They wash right off.”
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#50>
Sometimes the Japanese language is limited with translations. Missionary and Emissary are both referred to as “Ambassador”
One example is the TV show AMBASSADOR MAGMA known in the US as THE SPACE GIANTS. Now there was something MST3K could sink it’s teeth into. Single episodes could have been used as shorts.
I thing the concept of MST3K should be franchised until everything has been MSTied.
Then again that might accelerate the downfall of civilization. (But it would be cool to see.)
That should be “I think the concept of MST3K. . .”
#51: Man, I didn’t know there was a tokusatsu series of Ambassador Magma. The OVA was bad enough. “The Adventures of Mecha-Fabio!”
. . . Then, Ken Burns will visit the set to talk to us about his latest 39-hour documentary. Then, Topol, . . .
I don’t have anything else to say. I just wanted an excuse to write more Jack Perkins dialogue.
Top episode that delivers from begining to end. Very goofy movie with a lot of dopey characters to rip on. Lots of bi-polar acting and Kens.
One question about the crews uniforms, Pleather, Vinyl or Leather?
Sharktopus>
I’ve always realized there are truly only two characters (re)named Ken. But I’ve always chosen not to let the facts get in the way of a good riff.
As for the Serenity model, weeeell we triiied that one year. But it turrrrns out they are just toooo harrrrd on the soil. If you don’t use such hiiiigh levels of fertilizzzer as to get that meddlesome EPA on your baaaack they end upppp with defective compresion coilssss. I think we know what happens then. They are juuuust toooo cost prohibitive.
As amusing as this talk of scale model agriculture is, enquiring minds would like to know really what the *%#& is a hobby farm.
Being city folk, I can only wager a guess, but I reckon it’s farming as a hobby? Sounds a mite more more fulfilling than stamp collecting, assuming you’ve got yourself a piece of the bottom land and enough offspring to work it.
Anyway, compression coils on the Firefly class are designed to fail just so’s you’ll bring her back in to Osiris for “scheduled maintenace” every eighteen months or so. Doesn’t mean nothing – it’s not like your average smuggler is worried about passing the Alliance emissions inspection. It’s the gorram primary buffer panel you’ve got to keep your eye on if you don’t want things to get too interesting.
The Fugitive Aliens are among my favorite episodes, I would LOVE if Shout Factory could get the rights to them for a future release a la Master Ninja! And when are they going to announce vol. XXII, anyway!?
anyway, some of my favorite lines from this ep:
Tom: Real life simulation? Call this what you will, Joel’s dressing robots up like farm animals!
Dr. F: Old Joel Robinson had a farm?
Frank: E-I-E-I don’t think so.
Joel: What do you think, sirs?
Frank: I thought it had no texture.
Jack Perkins: Today’s film is the delightful Japanese film “Fugitive Alien”, not to be confused with the TV series “The Fugitive”, seen daily right here at A&E.
Jack: …then Hume Cronyn and Jessica Tandy will be out to share some poignant stories of the joys and sorrows of being really, really, horribly old.
Joel: We’ve got movie sign who’s Jack Perkins!!
Crow: Sandy Frank presents our own personal Hell.
“Fugitive Alien”
Joel: Starring David Jansen of Mars, searching for the one-armed alien.
Joel: I wanna die in the thong section of Victoria’s Secret!
Joel: It’s Heckraiser!
Crow: Argh, I’ve been killed by an action figure!
Crow: How humiliating, Earth’s taken over by Judy Garland impersonators.
Crow: Hey, is everyone named Ken?
Joel: Planet of the Kens.
Joel: The closer Ken gets, the better Ken looks.
Tom: Ken 33, go left!
Joel: You’re a disgrace to all Kens everywhere.
Joel: An intriguing mix of genocide and modern dance.
Crow: Joel, you’re beginning to sound like Jack Perkins.
Crow: No one can beat me at snap shots, I was in “Time of the Apes”!
“That was no meteorite!”
Crow: That was my wife!
Tom: I got an idea, let’s get that box of hats out of the back!
Joel: What are you two yard monkeys doin’ now?
(The crew is having a hat party)
Tom: Looks just like Frank’s hair helmet!
Joel: Oh, I think those things are wonderful!
Tom: Push the button, Frank!
Frank: Dr. Forrester, you better come have a look at this- Joel and the bots are making fun of my hair- MY HAIR!
Crow: This one looks like Dr. Forrester if his head got sucked into the vacuum of space through a keyhole!
Jack: That was about as painful as a cattle prod to the shoulder can- ARRGH!
Dr. F: Send ’em commercial, Frank.
Joel: I hate to say it, but Jack Perkins had it coming.
Crow: He hurt his little pants.
Tom: Tragedy tomorrow, Kabuki tonight.
Crow: Well, we can’t fight ’em, but we can confuse the heck out of them.
“Heh, heh, heh… YOU’RE STUCK HERE!”
Tom: Woah, mood swing!
“Where is Mary-Anne?”
Crow: She’s dea-er, d-dusting, downstairs.
Joel: They never explained the blonde wigs, I don’t get that.
“I can’t kill the man I love!”
Crow: Then kill the one you’re with!
Crow: See, that’s why you’re a scummy traitor.
Joel: Looks like they were shooting this out the windshield of a Vista-Cruiser station wagon.
“Whether you like it or not, you just signed on.”
Crow: Welcome to Herbalife.
Joel: I’m sorry, I was just playing a video game in my head.
Joel: Okay, Crow, I want you to be Ken, and Tom, I want you to be Ken.
Crow: I don’t want to be the dead squirrel under the floor of your hunting shack…
Tom: Come on, Joel, you been nippin’ at the Testors glue or what?
Crow: Give it a week, I’ll have a six foot scorpion stinger hangin’ off the end of my butt.
Tom: I’m dressed like Evil Kneivel, only not as tasteful.
“In other words, this will be no picnic.”
Tom: It’ll be more like a small dinner party.
Joel: Oh, I gotta lay of the ‘shrooms!
Tom: This is just like in “Marooned” when David Janssen goes to save Gene Hackman and James Franciscus before the Soviets-
Crow: Yeah, that was cool!
Joel: Oh, I got the wrong grave. Sorry, uh, Olga.
Crow: You piece of space crap!
“Boy, I don’t like your face!”
Crow: I’m not a big fan either, sir.
“This ain’t no monkey cage!”
Joel: This ain’t no disco, this ain’t no foolin’ around!
“What happens if I don’t find the Ceaser officer?”
Crow: Then we blow your neck off.
Tom: Everyone’s having more flashbacks than Bruce Dern in “The Trip”!
Joel: What are you doing, are you high? I have the strength of twenty men!
Tom: Call me Ken.
Crow: Okay, Ken.
Tom: So, it’s like Berman’s “Scenes From a Marriage”.
Crow: Or Schwartz’s “A Very Brady Christmas”.
Joel: Now they’re big and in Mexico.
Crow: Hey, look, it’s the all-Ken channel.
“I’m taking in the gangway”
Joel: And I’m taking in my little pants.
“Then you don’t mind if we cut his head off?”
Tom: That’s why we brought him!
Tom: It’s a totally new concept, a church bar!
Jack: You know, Toni Morrison, best known for her literary tour-de-force “Beloved”, may be one of the- (Dr. F and Frank drive a railroad spike into his neck)
Dr. F: Tie him up, Frank.
“Now, where were we?”
Tom: Goofy Land.
Crow: The duck alarm!
“I’m seeing things!”
Joel: No, you’re seeing me. Is that what I am to you, a thing?
Crow: Let’s break out the liquor- oh, I drank it all.
Tom: Rave on, Joel. Hype it, buddy.
Joel: Yeah, suddenly you’re the exploding button expert.
Joel: Let’s cut the crap, I love you!
Tom: The Baccus 3 will be back in “Sweet Sweetback’s Bad Ass Song”!
Dr. F: I’ve got a mad posh to give Jack Perkins the head of Vivian Vance.
Jack: Now, this is good TV- getting genetically altered on cable television- oh- AHH! AHH! ARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!
This one is a first ballot Hall of Famer.
One of the most delightfully goofy movies they ever riffed. The skits are amazing. It spawned a terrific sequel episode, permanent catchphrases and one of the funniest moments in any film: “YOU’RE STUCK HERE!”
5 stars all the way.
Oh, how I’ve tried to like this one. But it’s just not happening. To me, this episode is a mess from start to finish, totally the opposite of all the love it’s garnering around here.
I tried to watch it again last night, before posting this, just to give it another chance, but nothing doing. Just a bunch of people saying and doing things until suddenly they’re not anymore, with three guys making jokes as best they can.
For me, perhaps some of the problem comes from this being a dubbed movie, because the Brains can’t really play off the intended delivery of the actors, as they do so well most of the time. (But I can’t figure out why I enjoy other dubbed episodes just fine.) I’ve developed the same disinterest in “Star Force,” “Mighty Jack” and, marginally, “Pod People.”
The sketches made no impression on me, that’s how lost I am in this episode. If others didn’t comment on them I wouldn’t even recall what they were.
I think, the way “Fugitive Alien” hits me, this must be what MST3K looks like to people who totally don’t like the show. Just a bunch of stuff flying around for two hours.
But I’m not much of a Season 3 MSTie.
Hobby farming = farming as a hobby (instead of farming for your primary source of income). Pretty much self-explanatory.
Side note: I doubt you can find a forklift on a typical hobby farm :(
I kind-of figured that’s what hobby farming was. I thought it would be too expensive unless you could swing some kind of profit. When I think of farming I think of large stretches of land and an arsenal of tools and motorized equipment.
Thank you for the info-tainment.
#61: “For me, perhaps some of the problem comes from this being a dubbed movie, because the Brains can’t really play off the intended delivery of the actors, as they do so well most of the time.”
I think it’s a bit ironic you should say that, because I think that the dubbing job in the Fugitive Alien “movies” is actually quite a bit better than the Sandy Frank average. There are a few fluffed lines and awkward readings but for the most part the voice-acting actually seems to match the situation; there’s a proper simulation of emotion and inflection where it belongs, usually. Or is that the problem–there’s less to make fun of? Not like, say, Gamera vs. Guiron or (much later) Prince of Space.
#58:
Define “interesting.”
I really wish Shout could release these.
Who knows? Maybe one day we’ll see “Hell Freezes Over: The Fugutive Alien/Puma Man Boxed Set!” advertised.
in·ter·est·ing
–adjective
1. Holding attention or curiosity.
2. Oh God, oh God, we’re all gonna die.
So, I’ve been pondering the name Bacchus 3, and I think they probbably named the craft after a Greek or Roman God because that’s what NASA was doing at the time (Saturn, Mercury, Apollo). They needed one that hadn’t already been given to a planet or moon, and Bacchus was one of the few left. (It’s since been given to an asteroid.) Still, it seems awfully strange to name a spaceship after the God of wine and debauchery. I have to wonder if it was a knowing wink at Captain Jo’s drinking problem. But what happened to the first two? Did he wrap one around a tree? Maybe drunkenly land in a swimming pool? (I don’t find drunk driving jokes funny, but drunk spaceship piloting is hilarious.)
#64 monoceros4: Even more ironic when you see my screen name.
I just don’t know why I don’t enjoy F.A., but even tried once more today and within minutes I just… I..I… I just couldn’t do it.
Sorry about that.
#50 love the disclaimer shark! way to cover your butt! o good episode also!
I’m glad I’m not the only one who has seen “Branded to Kill” (I caught it on IFC a few years ago); Shishido was really a fairly respectable actor, but oh man, those cheeks! By the way, his commander was played by Akihiko Hirata, the Toho vet who played the eyepatched Red Bamboo officer in “Godzilla versus the Sea Monster”.
Not much to add to the episode — you’re stuck here, forklift, all a lot of fun.
Dickweed 1 sounds like it could also be the name of a Star Force ship. Bacchus 3 to Dickweed 1. Come in, Dickweed 1. HAHAHAHAHAHA you’re STUCK here! Over.
@ Sharktopus: “Ken” is indeed the protagonist’s name in the Japanese version of the show. In this case, it’s written with the kanji for “fist”, and his surname is “Shinsei” (new star/planet). In the books he’s named Morgan Chane. Oddly, the cast list on Japanese Wikipedia lists the character’s name as “Morgan Chane/Ken Shinsei”, so apparently they used both names in the show. Maybe “Ken Shinsei” is supposed to be the alias he takes up after fleeing to Earth? Anyway, “Chane” is pronounced like “Cain”, which in Japanese is very close to “Ken” (just one letter’s difference when written in katakana), so it’s an adaption of the book name.
And you’re right, Chane/Ken is the son of missionaries who went to Planet Varna to try and convert the Starwolves from their savage ways. The planet’s spelled “Varna” in the books, but the Sandy Frank dub pronounces it “Valna” due to Japanaese not distinguishing between r and l sounds. The dub calls it a “star” due to the same sort of goof-up as in Gamera vs Guiron, with the Japanese word sei or hoshi potentially meaning both.
(Oh, and I see that my comment at #5 was really too long. It’s longer than Sampo’s actual post! I don’t suppose there’s any way I could hide all that stuff in some sort of drop-down menu, so that it’s easier for people not interested in that kind of stuff to just scroll past?)
I’m convinced at least one writer on King of the Hill was a diehard MSTie; in one late-season episode, Dale tries to kill Hank–with a forklift! It’s such an unlikely choice of murder weapon that I doubt it was a coincidence. Hank even *says* “Dale tried to kill me with a forklift”! :)
@ Spalanzani: Don’t worry about the long posts. I really appreciate the background info on these Japanese experiments, and I’m sure others do as well.
By the way, are you reading the Japanese Wiki in kanji, or using a translating tool? I wanted to look into it myself, but me no lead Japanese. ;-)
Or maybe he just thought it was Dale. :P
I’ve always wanted the see full episodes of this series. Now after all these years, somebody has finally put some up.
http://www.veoh.com/watch/v1477094yzXk7dyk
(Episode 1. Not dubbed though.)
I love the growth of the Internet. :) If you can’t find something…give it a couple years and try again. When I first looked up this show years ago, it was only available in tape trading circles.
BTW, in the novels…Starwolves resembled human tigers. Which might explain the blonde wigs. Wait…not it doesn’t. :(
@Sharktopus: I read the page on my own, but use Jim Breen’s online dictionary to look up any words I don’t know. It’s been a hobby of mine for awhile now to look up stuff on Japanese Wikipedia either because there’s little or no information for it on the English side, or just to see how they translate the titles of English books/movies/TV shows. By the way, the only place MST3K is mentioned on there is in the article on Gregorian chants. They reference the Amazing Colossal Episode Guide and its description of the Public Domain Karaoke Machine as a source for how Gregorian chants are commonly seen as boring.
@BuckDat: Wow, thanks for posting that! It’s an especially nice find because, as far as I can tell, the show has only been released on laser disc.
Wow. That is just… Wow. :eek: The turgid and bittersweet Gregorian Chant #5.
Solid fun stuff. But for some reason I can’t tell the difference between part one and two.
So my review for Star Force will be the same.
B+
Helpful meterial.I was looking for this.Thanks!
Ya know, it’s strange how this works… I’ll come to this site, and it’ll turn out that the old episode title that’s been resurrected for further commenting happens to be an episode I’ve recently re-watched! ha
…over the past few nights my wife and I have had FA 1 & 2 for late night viewing. And the other day, with news of Dick Van Patten passing, I’d been watching Master Ninja 1 & 2 just nights before.
Odd, synchronous happenings. Very Jungian, indeed.
Ken, Ken, Ken, and no Barbie jokes?
I can’t think of a relevant way to reference “Night of the Blood Beast” (“Steve?”), so I’ll use an irrelevant way instead.
#5: You can find a little bit more info on Hamilton and the Starwolf books here.
“Sorry, the page you were looking for in this blog does not exist.”
Easy come, easy go.
I got to read one or two (I forget; they were bundled together) Starwolf books and I do recommend them to folks who need an easy and pretty fun dopey-SF bundle of material to read. The Star Wolf is, as in the MST3K episode, a rogue from a race of Space Pirates. And he worries endlessly about what might happen if people in civilized society were to learn he was a Star Wolf, since everybody’s upset about being Space Pirated upon. As a result he spends pretty much every page reminding his trusted friend that he is a Star Wolf and how terrible it would be if someone heard this.
So the original material is fun but also kinda bad, honestly.
The “Marooned” mention comes as part of a succession of bits Tom and Crow do in the theater when they pretend they are scif-fi geeks. Geek culture is now robustly defended by the members of its community. Did (does?) anyone who considers themselves part of that community have a problem with these bits?
I always felt they were kind of in-jokes. Certainly never offended me.
Fugitive Alien fails the Bechdel Test. At no point do two female characters converse.
Can anyone who has seen the original tell us if the controls panels there were in English as well?
Kenneth Morgan #19: Funny, I’d never realized Patrick Troughton looked like Moe.
There have been times when it would have been appropriate for him to poke Jamie in the eye and say, “Oh, wise guy, eh?”
Favorite riffs
An intriguing mix of genocide and modern dance.
“I don’t want to die in the middle of nowhere.”
I want to die in the thong section of Victoria’s Secret.
Space Mimes, in color.
Watch the steno pool go wild for his vinyl.
“A spacecraft. I’ll have to hijack one.”
Not in those slacks.
“Where’s the pride in killing defenseless women and children? You call that heroism?”
I call it fun.
“What I expect from you is total obedience.”
If that’s okay with you.
“Look who’s in trouble. What did he do?”
Killed a man just for snoring too loud.
And yet, today, I’d embrace any Who fan who even remembers Doctors 1-8 even existed, let alone Patrick “When I say run, Jamie….run!” Troughton.
The Mike/SciFi rockstar-fan culture ain’t got nothin’ on the New Who fans for historical revisionism and/or amnesia. :(
“Monks in space!”
@87
yeah the visuals were left as-is, thus the “tenperature”
I forget if the truck going to Utah is this one of FA2, but I’ve heard that screen popped up in an Ultraman or another Tsuburaya show at some point.
>this one or FA2
derp
“Does this episode hold the record for the most callbacks?”
Actually, I think that distinction belongs to Viking Women, which I will be doing a full analysis of in a few weeks.
But this one definitely has A LOT of callbacks. It’s something that’s been brewing since Prehistoric Planet, the constant callbacks. I love them. And I love this episode. Quintessential MST. Without episodes like this, where would the show be? Easily one of their “greatest hits.” This one has been beloved by me since it’s original airing. Jack Perkins!
as for as i tell, they didn’t say anything in the host segments about Patrick Macnee, but in his honor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qT-8d1zSYMQ
would have been a good movie for them to do.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Creature_Wasn%27t_Nice
and I almost forgot, the Fugitive Alien theme is my ringtone!
this had some relatively descent scenes but had a really crazy situation blow the mood.
first you have capt. Joe dealing with his loss in the graveyard. pretty good, a little morose. but it’s hard to take seriously with the guy sporting the latest golf lounge ensemble straight from the bob hope collection.
second, there’s the discussion between Joe and Ken (that Ken) which again is pretty good. then Joe has that screwy “you’re stuck here!” episode.
shoulder nukes aside, i can follow this one easier than part 2:electric boogaloo.
Last post on this thread from me: I was once written up at my job for jokingly telling a co-worker You’re Stuck Here!
Joel’s a bit meaner to the ‘bots than usual in this episode. First he removes Servo’s head and cow tips Gypsy during the farm segment, and later smacks around Crow and Servo during the Captain Joe sketch.
The Fugitive Alien episodes are two of my absolute favorites. So much, so funny, it’s almost too much.
The first time I heard the riff about, “a trendy mix of genocide and modern dance” it became part of my personal lexicon.
And when playing Grand Theft Auto games I sometimes come across a drivable forklift, which I am almost always compelled to get into and try to kill someone. Whether or not I succeed is beside the point. What matters is that I tried to kill him with a forklift. And that made all the difference.
Nitpick: Bruce Dern was in The Trip, but Peter Fonda was the one who dropped acid. So did Roger Corman and he liked it.