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Weekend Discussion Thread: What Would You Do After the Apocalypse?

Longtime regular Jenny suggests;

Since we just did Warrior or the Lost World, we should discuss things you could do after the apocalypse. I mean, the world might end in 2012. SO we should be ready Just in case. First thing I would do after food, water and having some destruction fun: Burn every Michel Bay film. EVERY one. Oh, and trespass on those site that we can’t go: you know, The White house, Area 51 and my neighbor who I think is hoarder and doesn’t let ANYONE on his lawn.

Okay, so, say all the gummymints have colitis, um, I mean, all the governments have collapsed and it post-apocalyptic wasteland time. Whatever caused the depopulation, there’s food and the buildings are in tact. There’s no rules! What would ya do? (And keep it clean.)

Me, I’d go on a quest to reclaim all those Crows and Tom Servos that were donated to various Planet Hollywoods in 1996.


84 comments to Weekend Discussion Thread: What Would You Do After the Apocalypse?

  • 51
    Hollysdower says:

    I suppose I’d take the night train to Mundo Fine…Night train to the end!
    Running hard and running fast…To meet my future and away from my past!
    Taking that gamble that cannot last…Night train to the end!

    Hell’s ride to Mundo Fine…Hell’s ride to the end!
    Sold my soul to the devil’s men…He draws me hard with a merciless hand!
    And all I bought is a handful of sand…Night train to the end!

    I’m on this ride ’cause I have no pride in myself, or in men, or in God!
    Now if you want to share in the price of my fare,
    Then fill your mind with greed and blind
    And wander in its evil fog!

    Night train to Mundo Fine…Night train to the end!
    Running hard and running fast…To meet my future and away from my past!
    Taking the gamble that cannot last…Night train to the end!


  • 52
    Canucklehead says:

    I think the Apocalypse is on the way (or was narrowly avoided), because I think I just unlocked a secret to the Coleman Francis trilogy hitherto unknown for decades.

    His trilogy appears to be related to the classical Greek elements. How so, you may ask? Like this:

    Earth – Beast of Yucca Flats
    Air – Skydivers
    Water – Red Zone Cuba

    He presumably died before he could complete one for Fire. However, if by the end of this year we discover that a “lost” Francis film is found, God help us all.


  • 53
    Mystos says:

    If I found a mullet dude with a transport I’d go back in time to get any loved ones who didn’t survive, supplies, and some favorite philosophers and writers to talk with, and for them to write more. Hey, it’s my fantasy! I’d also bring into the future a couple of guys and gals to watch and riff movies. I think you all know who they are.
    I’d also go back in time and have classes in flying airplanes and operating boats so I could travel around the world, being careful to avoid dangerous areas (with sudden extinction and other apocalyptic things, some areas would be contaminated). If no transport, I’d find manuals on how to fly and operate those.

    Might also reenact a favorite scene from Night of the Comet (dreadfully underrated apocalypse flick from 1984), the mall scene with Cyndi Lauper’s ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ playing. That would probably be the most ‘wild’ thing I’d do. Wouldn’t destroy or loot too much, as I’d want to leave supplies in case I came back and was in need. I’d also be armed in case of any Night of the Comet, Omega Man type monsters.
    Mostly, I’d do a lot of reading, exploring, movie watching, music listening. I’d also savor the silence. There’s none left nowadays. That’s what I’d do if I was the only one left. If there were small groups of others, I’d probably avoid them for the most part, unless we saw things more or less the same.


  • 54
    Stan McSerr says:

    I would get an RV, hang around an old man and right all the wrongs, while traveling the post apocalyptic countryside.
    Oh I would wear a costume
    with a cape
    and have a catch word to do this.

    ah, ok
    goodbye Razz


  • 55
    mansquatch says:

    I don’t know what I would do, but I know I would be doing it naked. Cool


  • 56
    itsspideyman says:

    I’d take a ride on Gamera out of the solar system.

    You know, Gamera is a friend of all children.

    Oh, and I’d give a coke to the little girl.


  • 57
    Trilaan says:

    Yeah, I’d take everything I learned about surviving the apocalypse from Deathlands novels and Damnation Alley, travel around in a kick-arse war wagon with enough ammo to slaughter the stars in the night sky with my laptop and film library in tow. I’d go to movie theaters and watch every movie I ever wanted to see on the big screen, of course inviting any locals to join in.


  • 58
    thedumpster says:

    Wake up and realize that it was all a dream.


  • 59
    jcmst3k says:

    by fortune or design, id get a radiation suit that would partially protect me (assuming apocalypse due to nuclear war) from bad vibes. id stalk a young one who began to wonder and convince him that theres no bad stuff beyond the river. then id get in good with his girlfriend by showing her my commemorative spoon collection and hope for the best.


  • 60
    agentmom says:

    43 WeatherServo9: Damn that should have been mine! LOL!


  • 61
    David J says:

    I would conduct a lot of experiments to find out if roaches and Hostess Twinkies really can survive absolutely anything.


  • 62
    Boot Blacking says:

    See if the MST3K of “The Green Slime” actually exists.


  • 63
    Neptune Man says:

    I would like to see how the stock footage lizards from Robot Monster hunt down the rowdy hobos from Time Chasers. Then, I would make an Atomic Party and invite Joseph Jarvosky, Glenn Manning, the Horror of Party Beach, those mutants from Robot Holocaust, and of course, the Deadly Mantis. After that I will ask Robert Vaughn who is his hairdresser.


  • 64
    ck says:

    If pressed for time with an apocalypse looming you might consider
    a U. S. Air Force Survival Kit.
    (Shoot! A fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff).

    Survival Kit contents check:
    In them you will find one 45 caliber automatic.
    2 boxes ammunition.
    4 days concentrated emergency rations.
    1 drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills.
    1 miniature combination Roosian phrasebook and Bible.
    100 dollare in rubles.
    100 dollars in gold.
    9 packs of chewing gum.
    1 issue of prophylactics.
    3 lipsticks.
    3 pairs of nylon stockings.


  • 65
    Pet the llama says:

    Cool Smile Yes High Five! Soldier US Flag Hammer Pill Airplane Island Cigarette


  • 66
    Matches4Mikey says:

    I see what you did there, Pet the Llama. Good plan, sir. But smoking kills.


  • 67
    Watch-out-for-Snakes says:

    @64: Well done, ck.


  • 68
    Cambot J. Nelson says:

    I agree with #67 @64, especially regarding the nylon, I’m assuming in case of sudden breakout of a Roji Panty complex. Quit adept in the field I see.


  • 69
    feargal says:

    Hmmmm….off to the big city, or hole up in the middle of nowhere? Personally, I’d rather watch the world end from a fancy NYC apartment-I just adore a penthouse view. How about a last night at the museum? What a magnificent mansion in which to wind down humanity’s sad and frenzied little tale.


  • 70
    Michael Deeley says:

    Learn to fly an airplane and travel around the world. With all that free time, I can visit all those famous cities and landmarks before they’re looted. Also stop by the nuclear plants, perform some maintenance and prevent meltdowns.

    I’d also destroy any entertainment I found offensive. Like the CGI Chipmunks movies, all iterations of “Grease”, (except the sequel-make ’em wonder!), and all books by right-wing politicians.

    And if any of those people survived, I’d have to kill them too. To ensure they don’t poison future geenrations with their destructive, selfish ideology.


  • 71
    Sitting Duck says:

    @#66: But it’s cool!


  • 72
    robot rump! says:

    i’d shave my head and obtain a quirky british accent. grab all the fruity leather star child outfits i could find. then, i think i’ll organize any survivors and greasy thugs into a tolitarian regime and get ready to fight the ‘Pyuma Man.’


  • 73
    Yipe Striper says:

    i’d do some entertaining…


  • 74
    crowtdan says:

    I would find Frannie Goldsmith and kill her. That ***** had no right to survive in the first place. I have been thinking about this since the early 80’s. Thank you for giving me the opportunity.


  • 75
    Brandon says:

    “I don’t know what I would do, but I know I would be doing it naked.”

    I hope Summer Glau decides to do that too.


  • 76
    Bombastic Biscuit Boy says:

    i got this one already wrapped up! i convinced two “peeved researchers” to load me in a launchable satellite, stocked with plenty of jumpsuits and special parts. oh, and they said something about “cheesy movies,” but i didn’t quite catch that part…now if i can just find a box of Hamdingers…


  • 77
    ck says:

    You’re kidding. What could possibly be in there of
    value? Nobody likes hamdingers.


  • 78
    Dark Grandma of Death says:

    #56 itsspideyman says:

    “Oh, and I’d give a coke to the little girl.”

    No Coke! Pepsi!!


  • 79
    Really old Teenager From Outerspace says:

    I’d search for Gary Sinise, Rob Lowe and Molly Ringwald and head to Kansas to meet up with Mother Abigail. Then on to Boulder, Colordo to put together our new lives…what could possibly go wrong.


  • 80
    Cornjob says:

    A lot of good ideas here. I might head on down to New Zealand and hang out with a black guy and a pretty lady who digs us both.


  • 81
    Matt D says:

    I figure that it would just be me and Jack Perkins (zombie Jack Perkins most likely), and he can tell me just about the most delightful stories ever told. We could eventually get married in California (because that state would have just passed a law allowing for gay zombie weddings) and have a delightful ceremony, whose invitations would be printed on a lovely eggshell white print stock.

    We would eventually divorce…you know, cause he’s a zombie, but I would still remember Jack and I’s own private apocalypse.


  • 82
    Matt D says:

    I’s should be my of course, cause I’d still be a grammar nazi even in the end times.


  • 83
    Crow T. Robert says:

    Build a Megaweapon out of dump trucks and hunt down that stupid bike.


  • 84
    PETE58 says:

    I would build an arena and have deathmatch sidehacking with a statue of JC showing us the light.