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Sampo & Erhardt

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Visit our archives of the MST3K pages previously hosted by the Sci-Fi Channel's SCIFI.COM.

Goodbye Sci-Fi

Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett reflect on MST3K's final broadcast.

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Episode guide: 516- Alien from L.A.

Movie: (1987) An airheaded Valley Girl follows her explorer father to the center of the Earth.

First shown: 11/20/93
Opening: Boot camp at Fort Satellite O’ Love
Invention exchange: Dr. F demonstrates the vend-a-gut, M&tB have invented fridge udders (teats!)
Host segment 1: M&tB discuss that supermodel. What’s her name?
Host segment 2: M&tB sing: “My Wild Irish Ireland”
Host segment 3: M&tB introduce the “guess Kathy’s emotions” game
End: Nothing more to say about the movie, Mike reads a letter, in Deep 13, Frank still is dropping quarters
Stinger: “Yuck!”
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (183 votes, average: 4.37 out of 5)

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• This is a wonderful episode. Great riffs, great segments and a real departure of a movie. Dull surprise!
• This episode is on the Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection, Vol. XXVI.
• References. http://www.annotatedmst.com/episodes/alienfromla/index.htm
• Speaking of “Mike won me over” moments (as we were last week), I had a good friend for whom Mike’s deranged “Hello, Joker!” greeting did the trick.
• Let me just say it: Teats! For several days after this episode, online MSTiedom was full of people saying “teats” just because they could.
• The desk on the bridge magically vanishes so they can do the “fridge tipping” gag.
• Mike does a little Joel-esque climbing around on the movie in the theater.
• This week’s non-spaghetti ball bumpers: pan across the lab to a beaker, pan down to the notebook, pan from globe to blackboard as roll of toilet paper flies by.
• I love the first segment, where the bots assume the personality of that out-of-it relative surely everybody has. Sounds just like my mother-in-law (God rest her soul). By the way, I think they were thinking of Paulina Porizkova.
• The bots are still wearing their outfits as they enter the theater after segment 2.
• Obscure reference not mentioned on the references page: Ballet Trockadero.
• I don’t really get why they keep saying Kathy has “big bones” Is it because she’s tall (Kathy’s 5’10”)? Usually “big bones” is a euphemism for “overweight,” which Kathy is not.
• The classic Dull Surprise sketch immediately launched a catchphrase.
• Mike reacts harshly to mention of “Captain Ron” and finds it necessary to lay down the law … justifiably, in my view.
• Callbacks: It’s Klandinctu! (Crash of the Moons) He’s the best! (Pod People). This to me is good TV. (Jack Perkins).
• Crow is very “helpful” (i.e. blathering inane factoids) quite a few times in the theater — causing Tom tell him to shut up repeatedly.
• As if there weren’t already enough classic bits in this episode, the “femmy movies” bit at the end is great fun. Nice way to distract from a long credit sequence, but several times they mention something called a “video store,” whatever that is.
• Cast and crew round up: Not a big one this week. Executive producer Avi Lerner also worked on “Outlaw.” Production designer Pamela Warner was an assistant art director on “Being from Another Planet.” In front of the camera, Russel Savadier is also in “Outlaw.”
• CreditsWatch: Host segments directed by Trace Beaulieu. “My Wild Irish Ireland” written and arranged by: Kevin Murphy, Michael J. Nelson and David Sussman.
• Fave riff: “This whole room smells like my eyes!” Honorable mention: “Hey Count Chocula, clear the shot.”

149 Replies to “Episode guide: 516- Alien from L.A.”

  1. Edward says:

    Though I don’t think it’s a great episode overall, I enjoy it because it’s one of two movies I saw before they were on MST3K. The high point is “Wild Irish Ireland”. Mike’s Irish jig gets me every time.

       0 likes

  2. ImaPotato says:

    Ok, for those of you that do NOT find Kathy Ireland attractive…hey man, my wife looks very similar…so change your opinion ;)

    As for this movie, like someone stated, if they downplayed Ireland’s squeaky voice and had an actor that could actually do an Australian accent on a consistent basis this movie would be pretty good. It did have a rarity that Gus, the male protagonist was not a romantic interest of Kathy. That was refreshing

    As for those who CAN’T get past Kathy’s voice, you are, in my humble opinion, missing Trace’s Magnum Opus, his Irelandesque voice, his perfect facial expressions as Dr. F, and his comments in the host segments were stellar!

    Anyway onto MY mini review

    [b]INTRO[/b]
    As ex-military, I found the putdowns hilarious “I didn’t hear you lady britches” very PG from real life then Mike’s “I said sir, yes, sir” then walking off in the background blindfolded – Grade B

    [b]Invention Exchange[/b] “Hello Joker” and the retort “I see you’re going psycho…Godspeed!” is Aces
    The look Trace has when Frank says he DOES have $150,000 in quarters cracks me up every time. Mike’s fridge is great but Trace again as Crow and his TEETS mumble while crushed by the fridge and spitting out parts steals the scene -Grade A

    [b] Good 1st half riffs[/b]

    When surfer dude is talking to Kathy
    “It’s your helium addiction”
    “Because I’m turned on by squeeze toys”
    (pushes up her glasses) “See…a brain is supposed to go there”

    Crow:(sarcastically as God) “Mother Theresa, please hold [i]Kathy[/i] is on line one”

    The lightsaber sound was spot on and had me laughing at the surprise

    Then Crow hits the 1st classic in Irelandnese “Dear Mom, Gobus-Globain offered me a part in a movie, they are paying me $35” and another one right after “Oh, three syllables”

    At this point I knew I was seeing something special from Trace

    But this isn’t a one joke episode for Trace, as his DC-9 and Jeep trivia until shushed “hey down in front” Then towards the end of the movie, out of nowhere he callbacks his own joke

    When Kathy wakes up and her glasses are under her nose “The whole room smells like my eyes”

    In fact, every time Mike and Kevin tried a Kathy impression, it fell flat, stone dead flat. They should have given all those to Trace and they wouldn’t have gotten old.

    “This door sounds brown”
    “Where’s the store die rector ree”

    “She’s having a meeting Wile E Coyote down there”

    BTW, her face when she gets up from falling down the well, that is her “O” face, well I can imagine it so…

    [b]HOST SEGMENT ONE[/b]

    Shows the similarities between all the Supermodels then BOOM goes the dynamite with the Clara Peller punchline (perfect by Trace) and Mike’s reaction – Grade A+ (one of my faves)

    After the host segment, Mike and Kevin take over the show with Australian riffs but Trace has some quips
    “In Australia,my voice is annoying as yours”

    Why the actor was not told to redo a take when his accent totally disappeared, I have no idea…but it makes good fodder for the guys

    then he hits my
    [b]RIFF OF THE EPISODE[/b]

    Crow:(in Irelandnese) I just remembered, I have massive internal bleeding

    I don’t know WHY that cracks me up, but it does, EVERY TIME.

    Mike did have a nice one with “Der Hey” when Kathy has that look and that saying has become part of my lexicon

    He also had a zinger when Kathy puts her head in the steamer and Gus’ gal comes in “Hey,just wanted to let you know don’t put your face in the steam thing, AHHHHHH” Kathy’s head is still smoking HAHA

    [b]HOST SEGMENT TWO[/b]
    Trace Grand Slam, “In Gaelic, erin go braless”;”come over,roll in your clover and kiss your blarney stone”. Then Mike’s creepy stare and ‘jig’ -Grade another A+

    The last part of the movie goes a bit down, there are some good riffs
    “Don’t tell my heart my achy breaky heart”; “I lost my accent have you seen it?”
    The riffing may become a bit average, but Kathy’s midriff makes up for it.

    Then Count Chocula shows up…”Hey Count Chocula,clear the shot” When he gets thrown over the Space Mutiny railing, “Hey batta,hey batta”, “Go tell Frankenberry” and Kevin as henchman”Hey, I know where her father is…(gets punched)

    after kiss “You smell like goat cheese pizza”
    Crow”So, the movie just took a break?”

    and the Professor who HAD to be the inspiration for Bobo

    [b]Host Segment 3[/b]

    Mike showing a knuckleball was a great non joke about the joke coming up Mike,Mike,Mike,Mike,Mike
    “Churchilean dertimination” Another add to my lexicon and Crow’s eyes fall out, I was rolling and snorting
    DULL SURPRISE

    It ends with the leader in the revolving puke chair “Anyone know how to turn this off?” and of course the Femmie movie smackdown. The ending is great with the letter and Tom’s “Who do you work for, man?!?” (another phrase I utter often when asked more than 2 questions) and Trace as Dr. F showing glee at blabbing 411

    [b} FINAL ASSESSMENT[/b]

    As much as Trace is comedy GOLD (pun intended)Mike is average and IMHO, Kevin kind of kills this by being very subpar. His host segments are good, but his riffs were poorly delivered, or bad impressions…

    Trace cannot get this to a 5 star classic but it IS 4 out of 5

       4 likes

  3. J.R. says:

    Pretty good episode. Didn’t like it at first, but a few repeat viewings gradually warmed me to it. It’s not a home run, but a very solid episode.

    Note: Despite all the wisecracks about everyone being Australian, most of the “Atlantis” characters are clearly South African. The accent makes it obvious. I know people from both countries and they sound nothing alike.

       1 likes

  4. Cornjob says:

    Hello all. Still recovering from my surgery, but I’m starting to feel somewhat alive.

    There’s a lot to love in this episode. The Full Metal Jacket segments at the beginning are some of my favorites.

    I think Kathy Ireland is pretty, but I didn’t go nuts over her like some people did. I even let my idiot best friend at the time have my stash of pictures of her. Including this lovely shot of her reclining on a sofa like thing in a scarlet unitard. I wish I still had that picture. Haven’t been able to find it on the internet either. Oh Well.

    “You piece of Filth!”

    “Several pieces actually.”

    “Oh”

       2 likes

  5. Cornjob says:

    “So Dad’s a delusional psychotic.”

       3 likes

  6. MikeK says:

    It’s always funny when Joel or Mike zone-out and go to a dark place, and this episode’s host segment is no exception. I think it’s hilarious when Mike becomes infatuated by Servo’s Kathy Ireland impression.

       2 likes

  7. Cornjob says:

    What is that song that goes, “There’s a world going on under ground…”. The riffers sing this occasionally and I have no idea where it’s from.

    “I’ll make all of your enemies die for their sins”. What a sweet romantic sentiment. What lady wouldn’t want to be serenaded like that.

       2 likes

  8. T-dog says:

    This is actually the first episode of MST3K I ever watched :-D
    It was back when HA! became COMEDY CENTRAL and took over MTV for a weekend I remember being sick with the flu. It aired several times over that weekend. I taped it and watched it so much I eventually broke the tape. I wish shout factory would release it on DVD. :cry:

       2 likes

  9. trilaan says:

    For the first time I noticed that Mike’s trying to hide his wedding ring all thru the supermodels segment. Also that Crow tries to eat the people on the boardwalk just before the end credits. lol

       1 likes

  10. Strummergas says:

    I guess it’s appropriate that I leave my first comment on this site concerning my first exposure to MST3K. Count me in with those who first saw this show on that fateful Comedy Central Weekend on MTV all those years ago. I remember waking up on a Saturday morning, putting on the TV and flipping through the channels. When I got to MTV, my first reaction was “Kathy Ireland starred in a movie?!” It was only once I got passed this shocking relvelation, that I noticed 3 wisecracking silouettes at the bottom of the screen making fun of the movie. I must’ve been about 16 at the time, and my friends and I were already doing our own far less sophisticated riffing of bad movies on the weekends, so seeing Mike and the Bots doing it at such a high level appealed to me right off the bat. Sadly, the cable provider in my area did not offer Comedy Central at the time (my famility also did not have the internet yet), but I made a mental note of the name of the show hoping to one day see it again. It took about another year or so, but thanks to a happy accidental viewing of “Santa Claus Conquers The Martians” on the MST3k Hour one Saturday night at about 3AM on the Fox affiliate here in New York, that I officially became hooked. From that point until we finally got CC, I desperately put on CC anytime I visited a family member who did get it hoping that I’d catch at least part of an episode. I think we finally got CC in the summer of ’95. Of course, I ran right out and bought my own VCR so I could begin taping as many episodes as possible.

    As far as this episode goes, I think it’s above average. I like it better than the last two episodes which for me were a big drop off after Mike’s debut as host in “The Brain That Wouldn’t Die”. Granted, I don’t think he was given much to work with at first, but between coming off watching Joel for 4 and a half seasons (whom I admit I slightly prefer as host despite becomming a fan in the Mike era) and Mike trying to find his footing as host, “Strangler” and “Batwoman” fell a little flat for me. 516 is definitely a step in the right direction though. A stupid 80’s sci-fi movie that’s poorly acted with a high profile celebrity in a leading whom Mike and the Bots can riff on mercilessly! It’s hard to imagine a different result for this episode. If I could, I’d rate it 3.5 stars.

    Anyway, it’s nice to finally be caught up with you folks on the viewing schedule. I’m looking forward to talking about future episodes with you all!

       7 likes

  11. Strummergas says:

    @#107 – Cornjob, that’s a Tom Wait’s song called “There’s A World Going On Underground” from his Big Time album.

       3 likes

  12. Cornjob says:

    Thanks for the song ID Strummergas. This has been bugging me for a while.

       2 likes

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       1 likes

  14. Mel says:

    I remember when I first watched this one and just going, “You’ve GOT to be kidding me with that voice, Kathy.”

       1 likes

  15. goalieboy82 says:

    love the Abel Gance Napoleon riff in the film.

       0 likes

  16. Frank says:

    Holy crap, ImaPotato – your review was as long as War & Peace! ;-)

       2 likes

  17. dakotaboy says:

    Overall a decent episode, although Kathy’s squeaky voice (and M&TB’s impression of it) did get annoying pretty quickly. I can’t imagine when they were writing this episode, having to watch and re-watch the movie. It must have been painful.

    Mike did pretty good dancing that jig on the narrow platform he had to stand on.

    I have seen the outtake from the Poopie reel of Segment 3 so many times, I had not seen the actual skit until I watched the entire episode recently. Dull surprise!

       3 likes

  18. Sitting Duck says:

    Alien from L.A. passes the Bechdel Test. Wanda has a general non-male conversation with the blonde bartender. Also the Southern waitress takes orders from some female customers.

    Does anyone remember if bill accepters existed on vending machines back then?

    Dear Gawd! Is that really her voice?

    @ #90: Robot Holocaust comes close with its 1987 release, but Alien From L.A. squeaks by due to being released in February 1988.

    Favorite riffs

    Getting dumped in about an hour.

    Mother Teresa, please hold. Kathy is on Line 1.

    Despite her lack of flying credentials, Wanda pilots her way across the Atlantic.

    Saigon. Shucks! I Can’t believe I’m still in Saigon.

    Dad’s yearbook. He was voted Most Likely to Have an Annoying Daughter.

    Sure, Dad was a delusional psychotic.

    She’s having a meeting with Wile Coyote down there.

    Oh pooh! I’m in the Pit of Hell.

    Ladies and gentlemen, we provide the scene, you provide the motivation.

    It’s so Dickenseque, it’s almost Dickensian.

    They have really good mozzarella sticks here, so shut up.

    Mr. Rogers in Cabaret.

    No Kathy, that’s the bidet!

    Evening at the Improv has really changed.

    I’ve lost my accent. Anyone seen it?

    “Well I’m back.”
    And more Australian than ever.

    Joel Gray in Death Cabaret V.

    “Scream all you want.”
    But eat all you scream.

    Not now, honey. Daddy’s killing.

    “We’re not murderers!”
    Sir, actually we are.

       5 likes

  19. brown131 says:

    Cornjob: There’s a world going on under ground

    The lyric is from “Underground” by Tom Waits

       0 likes

  20. Mysteryman says:

    I don’t really get why they keep saying Kathy has “big bones” Is it because she’s tall (Kathy’s 5’10”)? Usually “big bones” is a euphemism for “overweight,” which Kathy is not.

    The DVD has an interview with the director in which he says those comments were supposed to be about her height. They still sound odd though.

       3 likes

  21. EricJ says:

    robot rump!: and this movie did give me hope that the old ‘Energizer’ guy that used to stomp around yelling ‘oy!’ didn’t drink away his profits and is lying in a ditch somewhere. he went to AtlANTeeya with the other Austraileeans.

    Four years ago, but nice to see that SOMEBODY got the never-escaped-the-90’s Jocko/Energizer references (’cause, the guy’s, like, really Australian).
    I remember the old Mad Max-knockoff “Highwayman” show putting him on as a Token Australian sidekick to make it look more like really Road Warrior ‘n stuff, but don’t think we ever heard much from him in the states after that.

    And as for a Golan/Globus movie, they did never cover much about it in the “Electric Boogaloo” Cannon Pictures documentary. (It’s still on Netflix as of this date, and could be cooler if it was longer :) )
    Alien From LA was supposed to be a follow-up sequel shot alongside a teen “Journey to the Center of the Earth”, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097630/ , that was never finished because of Cannon’s budget messes, so we were supposed to know Ireland’s character, how she’s related to the old guy (“Dr. Saknussnussnuss?”), and why there were low-budget Australian punk-rockers at the earth’s core.

    Still, though: Where DID that credit-time-filler “Femmy movies game” sketch come from? Yes, when I think of Menachem Golan, Julie Andrews in “Shy People” just immediately bounces to mind…What, did they use up all their good Cannon Pictures jokes on Outlaw?

       1 likes

  22. dakotaboy says:

    Favoirt riff: “Don’t ride the Wild Mouse! It’s not saaaafe!”

       3 likes

  23. thequietman says:

    I’ve been looking forward to seeing this one again since I first saw it (when Shout! released it). I didn’t realize it came so early in Mike’s run, but indeed after a rather unpleasant film to start off, followed by two where the short was far more entertaining than the feature (Mikey notwithstanding), this is the first one where everything seems to come together.

    Fave riff
    [over junk buggy thingamajig]
    Servo: Y’know, if Gandalf had had one of these things, he’d never have died at the hands of the Balrog…

    [Shot of lonely woman looking through drippy blinds]
    Mike: Divorce? Bankruptcy? Our lawyers can help.

       2 likes

  24. Cornjob says:

    #121 Thanks for the “sequel to a non-existent movie” background. That explains a few things.

    I have to give Kathie Ireland props for her cameo in an episode of Family Guy. I also have a soft spot for Mom and Dad Save the World with the classic line as Dad tries to rally a band of rebel idiots against the Tyrant idiot oppressing them, “Just because you’re idiots doesn’t mean you can’t rule a planet! Heck, come to Earth some time.

       2 likes

  25. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    #120

    The “be on the lookout for” pronouncements make it sound like Kathy’s “big bones” are a distinguishing characteristic that marks her as a non-Atlantean. Vagueness aside (they couldn’t just say “she’s freakishly tall” OSLT?), was she in fact noticeably taller than the Atlanteans? It’s been a while since I’ve watched this one, and I could never think of much to say about it. For whatever reason, it just didn’t reel me in the way many other episodes do.

       0 likes

  26. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Wait a minute, how could Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo perform “Where Do We Go from Here” twenty-four years before the airing of “Once More, with Feeling”…?

    (I’m kidding, of course)

    Bookworm:
    Sampo:

    The director’s name?Liviu Ciulei.

    I want to make a theoretically humorous remark based on how much that name reminds me of the name “Cruella de Vil” but nothing’s coming up. Oh well.

    Per the link, Liviu Ciulei is Romanian (they sure love their vowels over there, don’t they?). Meanwhile, turns out Tony “Werewolf” Zarrindast is Iranian. And his real first name is “Mohammad.” Who knew?

       1 likes

  27. Johnny's nonchalance says:

    Linda Kerridge, the world-weary blonde in the bar, has worked as a Marilyn Monroe impersonator. I must say I find her far more fetching than the helium huffing Kathy

       0 likes

  28. littleaimishboy says:

    touches no one’s life, then leaves:
    #120

    The “be on the lookout for” pronouncements make it sound like Kathy’s “big bones” are a distinguishing characteristic that marks her as a non-Atlantean. Vagueness aside (they couldn’t just say “she’s freakishly tall” OSLT?), was she in fact noticeably taller than the Atlanteans?

    No, she doesn’t seem to be noticeably taller than the Morlocks or Atlantisoids or Ziox or whatever they’re supposed to be. For that to happen the actors playing them would all have had to be well under 5’10”, wouldn’t they?

    It’s just a stupidly inappropriate term that annoys me a lot more than Ms. Saknussemm’s voice does.

       2 likes

  29. Atorgo says:

    Johnny’s nonchalance:
    Linda Kerridge, the world-weary blonde in the bar, has worked as a Marilyn Monroe impersonator. I must say I find her far more fetching than the helium huffing Kathy

    She was also in this insane movie from 1984 called Mixed Blood. Watched that whole movie with my jaw on the floor, for multiple reasons.

    Mike’s thorough knowledge of all the various early 90’s modeling styles never fails to astound me.

    Other than breaking up with her over her answering machine, the ex-BF actually seems like a pretty cool guy. At least in the MST cut.

       0 likes

  30. Gobi says:

    You would expect them to describe her as “dark skinned”, since she had to be darker than all those people living underground. Perhaps they didn’t because of the unfortunate implications.

       1 likes

  31. Bruce Boxliker says:

    Above average episode to me. Some good riffs & host segments.

    One thing I learned in this movie: You can fall hundreds (if not thousands) of feet down a “bottomless” pit, and end up with no injuries whatsoever – just some dirt in your clothes. I did not know that.

       3 likes

  32. schippers says:

    #126 – Wow, consider me gobsmacked to learn that Tony Zarindast is Iranian. Wow. I dunno, I had just assumed he was of Italian extraction. Gee.

    He is, therefore, in the same exalted company as Jon S. Rad and Amir Shervan. That’s so rad!

       0 likes

  33. schippers says:

    Check out the movie’s poster (the Wikipedia entry has it there for your convenience). I think it’s pretty cool, like someone crossed a pulp sci-fi cover with, gee, I don’t know how you’d describe the artist’s portrayal of fair Kathy. Almost biker chic.

       0 likes

  34. Douglas Glassman says:

    “Dull surprise!” as a meme is how I got into MST3K in the first place. It was picked up by Transformers fans as a reaction to the really bad faces drawn by Pat Lee. There are a lot of crossover memes (“rigid grill structure”, Nightmare Fuel got name-dropped in a comic, etc) and the TFWiki basically riffs the Transformers while recording the franchise.

       0 likes

  35. Lex says:

    He’s right about Pat Lee. He was the guy who didn’t pay the artists in his studio, despite driving around in a Porsche. Speaking of comic books, this movie was done by Menahem Golan, the guy who had the rights to the Spider-man movie and planned to have James Cameron direct, despite the fact that Golan was a low-budget movie producer and Cameron had just made one of the biggest movies of all time in Terminator 2: Judgment Day. There was a big lawsuit involving it that went on for years, which is why Spider-man didn’t come out until 2002. Something about distribution rights and something in Cameron’s contract.

    This episode had references to a show called Down the Shore, which was a show that took place on the beach. Strangely enough I probably watched more of that show than I ever did Baywatch.

    I’m really Joe Bob Briggs on this board tonight. Another great show from the 90s. I wonder if this was the first 1980s movie they ever showed on Mystery Science Theater 3000. I can’t recall Joel ever watching anything that recent. Maybe I’m wrong.

    “Shut up.”

    “It’s your helium addiction.”

       0 likes

  36. Cornjob says:

    City Limits from Season 4 was an 80’s movie.

       0 likes

  37. Lawgiver says:

    dakotaboy:
    Overall a decent episode, although Kathy’s squeaky voice (and M&TB’s impression of it) did get annoying pretty quickly. I can’t imagine when they were writing this episode, having to watch and re-watch the movie. It must have been painful.

    I would have complained about Kathy’s voice, but your post put it into perspective – at least I don’t have to watch it over and over.

    Favorite riffs:
    Tom: The problems of two second rate actors don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world.
    Crow: So, what, did the movie just take a break?
    Mike: That guy should not wear horizontal stripes.

       1 likes

  38. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Not much to do with the actual episode, but…

    #128:
    Really, when you think about it (“So don’t think about it.”), to fit in with Aztecs and Toltecs and so on, that should be Z I O C S, not Ziox. Oh well.

    #129:
    I’m vaguely familiar with “Mixed Blood” (heard of it, haven’t seen it) but AFAIK it’s just another gang film. I’m curious as to what jaw-dropping qualities it had.

    #131:
    Well, it’s the center of the earth, there’s not going to be as much gravity. SCIENCE! ;-)

    #135: An excerpt from one of my favorite “bad movie” review sites, Teleport City:
    “Golan and Globus. A name that, along with the banner studio Cannon, means many different things to many different people. None of them are good, but many of them are enjoyable. In the 1980s, the powerhouse production tag team of Menahem Golan and his partner, Yoram Globus, assaulted the world with a seemingly endless stream of cinematic swill… Nary a trend went unscathed as Cannon Films latched on to one flash in the pan after another, producing as many movies as humanly possible before the trend died out and the next thing came along.”

    Golan and Globus were/are (one’s dead, the other isn’t) Israeli, btw. Romanian, Iranian, Israeli, the world of bad movies is more, uh, some-adjective-that-eludes-me than many might think.

    For whatever reason I’m reminded of another eighties bad film giant, Godfrey Ho, who had the brilliant(?) idea of turning just plain drama films into ninja films by splicing new footage of ninja action into the just plain drama films. Really, more directors should do that kind of thing. After all, how many drama films are there that WOULDN’T benefit from having footage of ninja action spliced into them?

    If the Brains had taken greater interest in eighties films, the works of Golan & Globus and of Ho (whose name writes its own jokes) would probably have a noticeable presence in MST3Kdom. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Harrison_(actor) , aka Ninja Master Gordon, seems like a good candidate to have shown up on the Hexfield now and then.

       2 likes

  39. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    addendum:

    I hadn’t paid enough attention before to notice that Richard Harrison was a staple of not one or two but THREE separate of crappy movies: the sixties, the seventies, AND the eighties. Huh.

    I think it would be interesting to work out how all the Godfrey Ho/Richard Harrison ninja films relate to each other (not that they were ever *intended* to relate to each other, but what’s that have to do with anything?), but the problem with that idea is that I’d have to WATCH all of them…

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  40. EricJ says:

    Cornjob:
    #121 Thanks for the “sequel to a non-existent movie” background. That explains a few things.

    Even if the documentary doesn’t cover it, there’s still an explanation:
    http://www.craveonline.com/culture/151174-journey-to-the-center-of-the-earth-the-lost-version
    (Yes, and Emo Philips is still acting as a guide…)

    And seriously, rent the Cannon documentary anyway–It’s a never-ending font of Stuff You Didn’t Know about Golan (I didn’t know “The Last American Virgin” was a remake of the biggest Israeli box-office hit), and finally explains why we got two competing Lambada movies but only one was allowed to use the title.

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  41. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Oh, here’s a thought:

    They could pair this film with “Village of the Giants” for a “who they think they’re kidding about adapting classic literature” theme.

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  42. Sitting Duck says:

    Or Village of the Giants and Riding with Death as the Hud Gomer Wells duology.

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  43. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Re-stating this off-topic question, since tomorrow’s the next episode and this thread may not be visited again for years:

    #129:
    I’m vaguely familiar with “Mixed Blood” (heard of it, haven’t seen it) but AFAIK it’s just another gang film. I’m curious as to what jaw-dropping qualities it had.

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  44. Ray Dunakin says:

    One of the dumbest things in this movie doesn’t even get mentioned: Her dad had the world’s easiest, most convenient archeological find of all time. No need to travel out to some remote, God-forsaken part of the world, no living in tents for months at a time, not even any digging. The secret, skeleton-infested chamber that leads to the lost city of Atlantis is just on the other side of a door in his basement apartment! And apparently NO ONE ELSE ever noticed it until he found it!

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  45. new cornjob says:

    re: #133 (bruce boxliker): it worked for bill & ted! ;) (course they were techinically already dead! ;0)

    re: #144: “raiders of the lost ark” it ain’t! ;0

    re: the flick: …

    well, look… some are born with their warts inside, right? ;) and mz. ireland simply was born with a “wart on her voice” ;0 i’ve met a few ladies in my life with that have that natural higher-by-one-octave voice (heard upon exiting a full-yet-quiet theater after the end of kevin smith’s “chasing amy” – some girl with a very similarly-pitched “annoying voice” said out loud for everyone to hear, “i thought her voice was annoying…” ;0 not kidding!) … s’not their fault, so you have to give them that. but, understood, “that voice” is the dividing line for even some of the most reasoned of peoples, lol ;)… it just activates some kind of “animalistic repulsion” within them. like nails on a chaulkboard (and SORRY, cuz i just reminded some of you what that’s like!)

    that said, mz. ireland “is not unattractive” by any stretch of the imagination; this just isn’t the best “vehicle” (as all mediums are, whether movies, music, or whatever) for her, obviously… at least, until it met the mst3k crew. :) her voice is certainly notable, but holding it against her (“TOMMM!”) would be human-folly. and more than a lil’ bit of fun! ;) (“TOMMMM-” “i know, i know!”)

    this was probably the first full mike epi i saw after “mitchell,” and while it was a mix of us (either wanting to see “kathy i. in a movie” or just us wanting to see “mst3k riff a kathy i. movie”) – the lot of us had been well-weaned upon those “cable-only” flicks by that point), it was a hoot at the time! not a “fiver,” but probably a decent “four” (after all, there was that cable-only “mummy” movie back a season or two, wasn’t there? it was weaker overall, to my recollection.)

    not great – but good! :) not one to pass up, for the skits and the old-school “late-night-cable” vibe of the flick. just sayin’! :) hope everyone’s having fun (ignore reality, is the best recommendation i can to achieve that! ;) – have an orange soda, or a root-beer float, or a banana-split even this weekend – or induldge in some fair-food; it’s 4-H time! :)

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  46. Cornjob says:

    “Ah Mike. I see you’ve decided to psycho. Godspeed.”

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  47. Ian L. says:

    There’s actually a lot of good stuff in this episode (“Dull surprise!”, the running gag mocking Wanda’s voice and overall demeanor, the chick flick trading insults over the end credits), but for some reason it’s never been one of my favorites. I blame the film itself, which is dirty, murky, muffled, and hard to follow.

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  48. Cornjob says:

    I blame Hargrave, but I accuse my parents.

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  49. Atorgo says:

    touches no one’s life, then leaves:
    Re-stating this off-topic question, since tomorrow’s the next episode and this thread may not be visited again for years:

    #129:I’m vaguely familiar with “Mixed Blood” (heard of it, haven’t seen it) but AFAIK it’s just another gang film. I’m curious as to what jaw-dropping qualities it had.

    It was just way more violent and gory than I thought it was going to be. I figured it was going to be goofy 80’s and slightly more violent than an ABC after-school special.

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