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Weekend Discussion Thread: What Do Characters in MSTed Movies Read?

Longtime regular Joseph writes:

I noticed in the Rifftrax Manos something I had previously ignored: in the Master’s Valley Lodge there’s bookshelves in every room, and there’s a couple books on each of them.
What *do* the MiSTed movie characters read in their spare time, and why?
The Master’s Valley Lodge books all seemed to be bound volumes of the state penal code, so I’m guessing Torgo was trying to pass the Texas bar exam. This also suggests he was maybe working for the Master to pay off his student loans, which is at least as depressing as anything else in the film.

I’m guessing that on the nightstand of J.C. of “Sidehackers” is Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”

What’s your suggestion?

94 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: What Do Characters in MSTed Movies Read?”

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  1. Captn Ross Hagen says:

    BATWOMAN and her bikini-clad beauties— 50 SHADES OF GRAY
    Check out the high jinks on the cover of RHINOS The Wild World of Batwoman.

       1 likes

  2. Neptune Man says:

    Pardon my ignorance, but what is 50 Shades of Gray? Another excuse for housewives to vent their sexual frustrations? A novel about sparkling vegan zombies who play soccer and never touched a brain?

       2 likes

  3. Captn Ross Hagen says:

    The ladies in MANOS— The HELP
    MASTER, TORGO would like some more pie?

       2 likes

  4. Captn Ross Hagen says:

    #52 Neptune Man– I was under the impression the book was based on that GRATEFUL DEAD song.

       1 likes

  5. Captn Ross Hagen says:

    Three books for Eddie Crane.
    1. The Birth of the Beat Generation by Steven Watson
    2. On The Road by Jack Kerouac
    3. Tales of Beatnik Glory by Ed Sanders
    Leather coat,Ducktail hair, my foot. I’d like to Moon him with my Ducktail!

       1 likes

  6. revlillo says:

    I can’t believe no one has offered this one yet:

    J.C. from Sidehackers would certainly have Rommel’s book in his library.

       7 likes

  7. EricJ says:

    @52 – Pretty much the former–The “Indecent Proposal” of its day, for that certain demographic of housewives who develop dangerous attachments to soap-opera actors.
    (At least the Twilight fans have an excuse for not knowing any better…) ;)

       1 likes

  8. Flying Saucers Over Oz says:

    And, of course, Johnny Longbow enjoys cookbooks.

       3 likes

  9. ServoTron3000 says:

    I think it’s safe to assume that Commando Cody reads Modern Aviation.

       3 likes

  10. Fred Burroughs says:

    I know that Jody from “Touch of Satan” should’ve read that signed copy of the Necronomicon that the Stricklands left in his room.

       5 likes

  11. itsspideyman says:

    #58

    Especially if the ingredients include corn, chicken, green peppers, chili…….onions……..

       5 likes

  12. GarrettCRW says:

    @52-It’s bad Twilight fanfic that has somehow gotten professionally published.

       1 likes

  13. pondoscp says:

    @ 52 it’s about 50 pairs of gray sunglasses. kind of like traveling pants.

    And Mitchell doesn’t read those magazines……

       1 likes

  14. Warren says:

    The Gillman from Revenge of the Creature got some ideas from Moby Dick.
    Ed Wainwright from Beginning of the End may have a copy of the Kaufman Field Guide to Insects of North America.

       2 likes

  15. Sitting Duck says:

    Stoneman #49: The hippy van driver from “Laserblast”: “The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers” (I know its a comic… er, graphic novel… but hey a little rule bending is ok, isn’t it?).

    Except now they’re calling it sequential art (I wish I was making that up).

       3 likes

  16. Tormented says:

    Joanie from Girl in Gold Boots wants to read A Beautiful Mind-it’s as close as she can get to a pretty mind, and God, she wants her pretty mind back…

    Rommel from Sidehackers must have read Harlequin romances, considering those flashbacks (sappy songs included) of him & Rita…

       2 likes

  17. pumafan says:

    Ol’ Man Crenshaw is reading To Build A Fahr by Jack London

       5 likes

  18. lancecorbain says:

    Sitting Duck-I heard the “sequential art” thing too. “They’re not dirty cartoons, it’s erotic sequential art!” just sounds like a desperate attempt to keep your folks from throwing out your Little Annie Fannie collection.

    Tommy from Pod People reads paperback novelizations of movies-his favorite ever was Explorers.
    Tor (Lobo) reads The Annotated Shakespeare.

       1 likes

  19. Captn Ross Hagen says:

    #65 I got a real kick out you bringing up “The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers.” In my last year of school 1974/1975 my best friend Kenny had a
    F.F.F.B. T-shirt he’d wear to school on Fridays ’cause the weekend was party time baby. Loved all that stuff back then and was thinking about that shirt and those times gone by just the other day in work. That’s what you do when you’re 55 years old and stuck in a mind numbing boring job.

       2 likes

  20. frankenforcer says:

    The main scientist in Amazing Colossal Man would read- Basic Biology for Dummies
    CArl Moffit- The Anatomy of Fear

       2 likes

  21. Pirengle says:

    There’s that huge bookcase in The Dead Talk Back and Mike claims it’s full of all the Joyce Carol Oates novels published that month. Perhaps Renee was reading one right before she got whacked.

       3 likes

  22. ImaPotato says:

    The Undead- 50 Shades of Grey

       1 likes

  23. Cornjob says:

    The Mad Scientist from Blood Waters of Dr. Z probably has picture books of fish stuck under his mattress as if they were Playboys.

       3 likes

  24. Smirkboy says:

    Jerry Farrell in The Killer Shrews probably read “Death Rat”

       4 likes

  25. Matt D says:

    I believe that every character played by Tor Johnson has read Simple Genius by David Baldacci.

       0 likes

  26. Troy says:

    Torgo has clearly been reading Codependent No More (in addition to Getting Girls through Hypnosis, as suggested by #31)

    Pitch and the Devil from the Specialty Breads short both have a lifetime subscription to Variety

    Ben Murphy, to nobody’s great surprise, only owns one book: Staying Mellow: The Ultimate Unauthorized Biography of Ben Murphy (autographed, of course)

    And both Mitchell and Sheriff Geronimo spend their evenings contemplating the rebuses that come on the underside of Lone Star beer bottle caps.

       6 likes

  27. Steelhawk says:

    The doctor from Blood Waters of Dr. Z picked up a copy of One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish thinking it was a dating manual for fish-men.

       6 likes

  28. saherrin says:

    Steehawk:

    You could also give him (and the hunters of Devil Fish) The L.L. Bean Ultimate Book of Fly Fishing.
    Toberlone – Bronx Boy: A Memoir
    The Swedish Girl from “The Crawling Hand” – The Urban Dictionary
    Bob (from Jungle Goddess) – The History of White People
    Tee – THe Da Vinci Code
    Joan (Girl in the Gold Boots) – How to Have a Beautiful Mind

       3 likes

  29. Yipe Striper says:

    prince of space reads: Little Baby SunHats Monthly

    Tee and Leo read Renaissance Magazine— its a real one. i used to manage a magazine department at Hastings.

       4 likes

  30. Creeping-Death says:

    Torgo thoroughly enjoys his annotated copy of Virgil’s Complete Works and his classical literature collection. He frequently chats with Natalie from Werewolf on the finer points of great literary works. Troy, from Final Sacrifice, loves Muscle magazines. Frank Chapman is a fan of nonfiction Biology and Chemistry reference books, specifically, “Dioxygen in Biological Reactions”

       2 likes

  31. Joe Klemm says:

    Mitchell and Rowsdower – The Great Beer Guide by Michael Jackson (no, not THAT Michael Jackson)

    Harold from TISCWSLABMUZ: A guide to the English language

    The cast of Invasion of the Neptune Men: Mein Kampf (at least until a certain tourist attraction got destroyed)

       1 likes

  32. Flying Saucers Over Oz says:

    Joel Robinson – Fatherhood, by Bill Cosby

    Mike Nelson – Help! I’m A Prisoner In A Chinese Bakery, by Alan King

    Crow T. Robot – How To Write, Market And Sell Your Screenplay To Hollywood

    Tom Servo – The Guide To Manliness

    Gypsy – Outrageous Acts And Everyday Rebellions, by Gloria Steinem

    Cambot – I Am A Camera

    Doctor Clayton Forrester – Leadership Secrets of Atilla The Hun

    TV’s Frank – Center Square: The Life of Paul Lynde

    Pearl Forrester – The Twilight series

    Professor Bobo – I, Cheeta

    Observer / Brain Guy – Awkward Pet Photos

       9 likes

  33. Cornjob says:

    I think Mikey and Troy probably have copies of Iron John (along with all the Tolkien).

    I have a feeling that Dr. F is a fan of Dante’s Inferno.

    Who can forget Frank reading “Getting along with Difficult People” in Giant Leeches.

    The astronauts in Space Travellers were all reading Final Exit.

       3 likes

  34. Stoneman says:

    The Gesture Professor from “The Mole People”: The Edgar Rice Burroughs series of novels about Pellucidar, the prehistoric world “At the Earth’s Core”.

    The mother of the androgynous blond kid in “Laserblast”: Stephen King’s “Thinner”.

    Fu Manchu: “Taipan” by James Clavell.

       2 likes

  35. lancecorbain says:

    Can’t resist throwing in my two cents on some of the cast-

    Joel Robinson-Popular Mechanics, Popular Science, Golf Digest, Art Linklatter’s “Kids Say The Darndest Things” series, the collected works of Erma Bombeck, and Raising Demons&Life Amongst The Savages by Shirley Jackson.

    Crow-Stephen King’s On Writing, various Writer’s Market guides.

    Tom-the collected works of William F. Buckley, the 3 or 4 volume biography of Winston Churchill.

    Dr. Forrester-various medical and general scientific tomes and periodicals, but I also picture him flipping through Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein for “light reading” and laughing himself sick.

    Will try to think of more later.

       2 likes

  36. Cornjob says:

    Yuri from Werewolf and J.C. from Sidehackers probably had unread anger management books ion their lockers.

       2 likes

  37. lancecorbain says:

    I imagine TV’s Frank always trying out new activities and hobbies, so he would have an extensive collection of instructional books like Ventriloquism For Beginners, Juggling For The Complete Clutz, Ice Dancing For Dummies, etc.. He’s also a member of Oprah’s Book Club.

       1 likes

  38. tersegirl says:

    I figure Wanda Saknussemm carries around the entire Sweet Valley High collection in that big ol’ bag of hers. Maybe she trades them back and forth with Mila, the daughter of Akronas.

    And speaking of Cave Dwellers, Zor (that John Saxon-looking guy) smacks of Popular Mechanics. Waits feverishly for each new issue to arrive, then gripes for the next week about that month’s “Jay Leno’s Garage”.

    Yuri from Werewolf reads letters to the editor in his local paper–maybe why he’s so angry?

    Lastly, Troy McGreggor of Final Sacrifice reminds me of those alpha geeks who have always owned a copy of The Silmarillion but pooh-pooh its mythology because, secretly, they just can’t get past The Music of the Ainur. I’ll admit, it is a little dry. (Sorry, Professor Tolkien!)

       1 likes

  39. Kenneth Morgan says:

    Charles Keith (Gregory Peck) from “Space Travelers” (a.k.a. “Marooned”) probably has an autographed copy of “Failure is Not an Option” by Gene Krantz.

       1 likes

  40. R.A. Roth says:

    The American Indian professor from Track of the Moon Beast has a copy of, “The Joy of Cooking,” right beside his old Indian recipe for stew. He likes recipes with green peppers…onions. That sort of thing.

       2 likes

  41. Twiggins says:

    Capt. Robbins from BRIDE OF THE MONSTER needs the “Complete Care of Your Parakeet”. He should probably read up on something about insubordinate employees (Kelton) too.

       1 likes

  42. I Am Not Frank says:

    “the chauffeur” in Pt.#3 of The Phantom Creeps = Machiavelli’s “The Prince” 8-)

       0 likes

  43. AmbiguousG says:

    Hugo the Devil Doll reads all of those ‘…for Dummies’ books because he obviously doesn’t get the title.

    Vorelli probably has now out-of-circulation mags like “Upper Backs Illustrated”.

       0 likes

  44. if the buffalo in my head could speak german i would not know a god damm thing. What i do know is that the language of art is out of this world.

       0 likes

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