I was watching “Is This Love?” the other night and had a thought. If you got Peg from this short, Judy from “Young Man’s Fancy”, and Sue from “Are You Ready for Marriage” together, I bet they’d have a lot to talk about. You’d have someone who married too soon, someone who is engaged, and someone who has just fallen for her brother’s friend. That’s a chick flick if there ever was one. But why stop there? Wouldn’t Ator’s level-headedness be the perfect compliment for Steve Reeve’s Hercules’ arrogance and wouldn’t a TON of villages be saved by those two together? Finally, what about Peter Graves from “Beginning of the End” teaming up with the female cop from “Swamp Diamonds” as a kind of Mulder and Scully “X-files” thing? Endless possibilities!
How about new version of Charlie’s Angels with the bubble-headed Tina from “Catalina Caper,” boy-crazy Judy from “A Young Man’s Fancy” and sensible but mousey Iris from “The Beatniks”?
Well, maybe not. You have a go at it!
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There have been some pretty good “Time Patrol” scifi novels, with the
her(oes) protecting the continuum, ranging from Andre Norton’s Time Traders
to Connie Willis’ inadvertent protectors of the time continuum Oxford
historian researchers (warning, its two lonnnnng books—you better like
WWII London Blitz era history). So how about Nick and Nora (or whatever the
plaid wearing girlfriend’s name is) of Time Chasers fame teaming
up with Crow and Tom Servo—yeah, Nick destroyed all his floppy disks, but they’ve
got the SoL’s time machine. Their initial target is Bob Evil (turns out he’s
got 2-3 extra copies of himself floating around). And wouldn’t you know, he also
stashed an extra time traveling plane.
Another villain they face is The Undead professor, who it turns out made a pact with Stan
(I mean Satan) and is cruising around in time and space using hookers (but
only to travel). He has principles!
Hmmmm. I see Krasker (from THE DEAD TALK BACK) and Tor Johnson in a buddy cop picture.
Oh, and it would have to have Alan Hale as their goofy, but overbearing boss.
Glenn Manning (THE amazing colossal man himself) could be the hard-nosed mentor of those darn big teens from Village of the Giants. He’d be sent to confront them, but after a series of misadventures and some silly but harmless pranks by the kids, he’d come to care for them, and they, of course, would learn to respect him and be bigger people because of what he’d taught them. And at the end of the movie, the kids would get together and give Glenn a gift – a colorful diaper made of theater curtains.
How about this…
Mary from “Once Upon a Honeymoon” has lunch with her sister, Nuveena from “Design for Dreaming”. They talk about a big home appliances/auto show in L.A. (They both live in the suburbs around N.Y.C.) They decide to take a break from their respective husbands (Mary’s spouse is writing another show, while Nuveena’s is doing Heaven-only-knows-what) and drive across country to see it. Along the way, they pick up their long-lost sister: gender-confused, music-obsessed B.
And they all have wacky adventures and learn female empowerment on their travels.
OR take the premise of alternate universes colliding, and have Mitchell the slobby cop having to work a case with Geronimo. Mitchell’s love of beer would bother Geronimo, who has to drink buttermilk for his stomach. All their little quirks would be fuel for the dialog in between the action scenes…the long, doughy, slow action scenes.
I mean, MST3K already gave us the best buddy team of all time in Max Keller and John McCallister. I’d love to see them in any setting.
I suppose this one is a bit obvious, but how about a Japanese buddy sci-fi-cop movie with Prince of Space as the level-headed hero and Space Chief as the ineffectual yet loyal sidekick? With Rex Dart, Eskimo Spy as their contact with the intelligence service, and (fill in the blank) as the annoying kid who gets taken hostage by the bad guy.
The MST3Kicent Seven, starring…
Ator!
CABOT!
Deathstalker!
Hercules!
Rowsdower!
Space Chief!
And… Big McLargeHuge!
I’m thinking of a differnt Charlie’s Angel’s refresh. Kim Cattrall from City Limits, Estelle Winwood from The Magic Sword and the cigarette hag from the Deadly Bees. We could throw in Servo as Bosley and of course Crow as Charlie.
Mitchell, meet Zap Rowsdower… no beer would be safe!
Or maybe Torgo and Ortego in a road-trip adventure? That could have some fun possibilities….
Have Master Ninja’s Max Keller partner with Mrs. March from The Atomic Brain! Together in Keller’s custom van, they travel the country in search of Mrs. March’s new body. At some point Henry the gerbil is devoured: “She ate it!”
One’s a hobbling, big-kneed, Satan-worshiper’s caretaker, the other is the Creature from the Black Lagoon! Together, they’re on a collision course with wackiness (and sexual harassment lawsuits)!
‘Torgo and the Creature’ Coming soon!
Cornjob and Rex Dart, Eskimo spy as a international crime fighting force.
Dopey Wimpy Mikey and Troy McGreggor go to Comic Con. Of course Troy has his own bike to ride, so Mikey would have to go steal one.
Here one…
Rowsdower as a drunken police detective on the outs with the department. The police chief, fairy swatting dad from the Hired shorts, is down to his last hanky with Rowsdower. His “last clear chance” for a solution is the recent transfer from Idaho. Their first case together is to stop a crazed killer dressed as a Japanese chicken who has just killed Rowsdower’s mom, the cigarette smokin’ gal from The Killer Bees. Now these two mismatched cops need to grab a little bit of evidence to bring down the cackling killer. With Kalgon from Space Mutiny as the Internal Affairs officer determined to bring the team down and eat a little bit of lobster.
Zap and Hal
Do they have what it takes to solve the ultimate case, or will they just find beer on the sun? ?:-)
I am going to pitch this to the networks:
Mitchell and Geranamo as identical twins. There is more: Rowsdower dives them from the back of his truck with the other dirty laundry. They fight murder crimes. The name of the show Tweedledee, Tweedledum, Tweedledeath.
What do you think Sirs?
What if The USA Network was looking for a new series to replace Psych? What if Krasker from The Dead Talk Back discovered The Pod People’s Trumpy? Rather than using fishing line to make objects float, Krasker uses Trumpy’s supernatural abilities to get confessions from Santa Barbara’s criminals!
Torgo. Ortega. They’re cops who don’t play by the rules!!
ok, ‘Prince of Space’ and ‘Space Chie….oh wait same guy…
‘mitchell!’ and Lassie from the ‘Painted Hills’ in a remake of ‘Turner and Hooch’
Crenshaw, Zap Rowsdower, Ortega, Torgo, Pile on Pete, the ‘Paper Chase’ guy, Pumaman, Hugo the dummy, Peaches, Sampson and Mitchell! in a remake of Ocean’s eleven. the ladies would pack the theater for sure
Paula Parkins from ‘The Violent Years’, Terry from ‘Teenage Crime Wave’, Silver Morgan from ‘Girl’s Town’ and Jody from ‘Kitten with a Whip’ team up as the hottest anti-heroes ever! If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the T n A-Team, AKA The Sisterhood of the Travelling Hot Pants.
John Agar from ‘Mole People’, Chance from ‘Agent From HARM’ and Parnel Roberts from ‘San Francisco International’ team up as the League of Extraordinarily Smug Gentlemen. They travel the globe spying and digging up fossils. Parnel gets their planes in on time.
Best weekend topic ever? It’s possible. Hilarious job, folks.
‘Likes’ to everyone who combined Mitchell and Sheriff Geronimo, that was going to be my first pick – I could see them pitted against, say, Diabolik, and both of ’em ending up in a Maltese jail or a trash can.
How about Big McLargeHuge and the Runaway (Space Mutiny and Future War, respectively) stumbling around to fight the baddies of Fugitive Alien? There’d be so many ripped shirts, bulging biceps, and ‘area’ shots that the aliens would have to travel hundreds of light years in only 5 hours just to escape!
I’d remake the ultimate Chick-Flick – “Gone With the Wind,” starring Torgo as Rhett Butler, the lead Ms. Bossy Pants Bride from “Manos” as Scarlett O’Hara, Tor Johnson as “Mammy,” John Carradine as Ashley Wilkes, Trumpy as Melanie Hamilton, and, in a special cameo role, Tom Servo as Prissy.
Harold and Maude remake:
Starring:
Max Keller
and
The Grandma from The Incredible Melting Man
Critter, from Girl in Gold Boots and the Mastermind from The Rebel Set (aka Chief from Get Smart).
Mastermind’s always concocting crazy get-rich-quick schemes that are of dubious legality, and every week he gets foiled by Critter in a non-prisony way.
Santo and Batwoman get married, adopt the kids from SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS, and try to become a blended family.
Billy from UNDERSEA KINGDOM, Bobby from the TOM CORBETT movies, and Pedro from SANTA CLAUS meet at summer camp, become fast friends, and solve mysteries.
Kelton the Cop investigates a UFO sighting and discovers a flying saucer accidentally crashed by Dropo The Martian. After Kelton boards the ship, Dropo inadvertantly makes it take off again, and they have zany adventures trying to find their way home.
Torgo and Lobo host a morning talk show.
Let’s consider a Kickstarter to make the “Master Ninja” / “Final Sacrifice” crossover a reality. It’ll be like when “Law and Order” met “Homicide: Life On The Street.”
We could always bring back Rocky Jones, with Penny Lowe from Untamed Youth as Veena and Jerry from “The Incredibly Mixed Up Zombies…” as Winky, battling the Leech Woman as Cleolantra and her minions Crankor and the Gorilla alien from Robot Monster.
How about a buddy flick where Commando Cody and Puma Man team up to patrol the skies through crappy effects and creative editing?
Take Bride of the Monster’s Tor Johnson, pair him up with The Unearthly’s Tor Johnson, and introduce him to Tor Johnson from The Beast of Yucca Flats for a remake of Diner.
Here’s the cast: Cathy, from “It Lives By Night”
Natalie, from “Werewolf”
Martha, from “Blood Waters of Dr. Z”
They’re friends who take a trip to beautiful Tuscany, to see the sights and take a break from their unhealthy relationships with monsters. They spend hours chatting about how their relationships have transformed them into monsters. Occasionally one of them seduces and/or kills a rich tourist or a sexy native. Because they’re all monsters.
But in the end they decide to return to their monster lovers in the States, because that would be romantic and heartwarming.
Titanic remake
Torgo replacing Leonardo DeCrappy-o (yeah i know how i spelled it.)
the skanky girl from Hobgoblins
Droppo as the oily rich bad guy
Nuveena from “Design for Dreaming,” the wife from “Once Upon a Honeymoon” and The Selling Wizard girl: they all go on a road trip. They drive Nuveena’s Firebird II stolen from the car show, calling home from various phones that appear everywhere the the Wife is around; when they accidentally kill a guy the Wizard girl knows how to hide the body in a grocery freezer. . . And maybe they meet the bread delivery driver and all fall in love with him; but he gets promoted before he can commit. Bang! this stuff writes itself.
Darnitall Morgan #4, you beat me to it; I should’ve read the whole thread. Road trip, or relationship flick? either way, it should be a musical. A shrill musical.
p.s. Mr. B in any sequel gives me the shudders.
Dong from “Cave Dwellers,” Frank from “Beginning of the End,” and the ubiquitous Kline from “Sinister Urge” in a silent remake of “Treasure of the Sierra Madre.”
How about CATALINA CAPER’s Creepy Girl and the witch girl from THE TOUCH OF SATAN competing for the affections of the fish?
She’s a Wiccan (Livia, the sultry shape shifting witch from “The Undead”), she’s a Nun (Silver Morgen from “Girls Town”). Can two sisters share the same apartment? Find out on “Which Is Witch?” :lamp:
Batguy from It Lives By Night and Track of the Moonbeast guy – they’re cops! Who kill people, but they get results, you stupid chief!
Speaking of which, Mitchell and pervy sheriff from It Lives By Night. They get results… after a heavy booze and molesting binge.
Johnny Long-Bow and Emo Phillips from Catching Trouble.
Paula Perkins, Kitty Reed, Terry, Silver, and Wanda Saknussemm as a Sailor Moon group fighting against Valeria from Robot Holocaust and the queen from Hercules Unchained, with the guy from Laserblast as Tuxedo Mask. It’s a chick-flick for guys!
@8 I go with my updated “Gypsy’s 7” roster from my MST3K The Movie 2 line-up –
Ross Hagen!
Beverly Garland!
Rowsdower!
Torgo!
Coleman Francis!
Toblerone!
And Prince of Space!
(cue A-Team music)
@24 Make it the “Granma” from Touch of Satan and just take my… no, never mind, that’d too horrifying to comprehend.
@31 Replace “chatting” with “sex” and you’ve got Alan Moore’s Lost Girls.
@32 And David Warner still in it for the money.
@37 This should have more likes.
Ben Murphy (Sam Casey from “Riding With Death) and Robert Ginty (The Rider from “Warrior Of The Lost World”) are bike riding undercover agents in “Two For The Road”. Tonight’s episode: “We Have No Fruit To Declare!”. Our dim-witted duo uncover an illegal immigrant smuggling ring transporting gay Mexicans to same sex marriage legal states where they are wed to US gays in order gain US citizenship. Jim Stafford (Buffalo Bill Joe Hickens) guest stars as the truck driver who is (unknowingly) transporting said illegal immigrants who, when finally discovering the true identity of his cargo, declares “thought I was haulin’ sopaipillias! not sum homo lobos!
Rose (Beverly Garland) from ‘Gunslinger’ teams up with Pile on Pete and Lassie from ‘The Painted Hills’ to try and close down the Red Dog Saloon. After many long winded sermons from Pile on Pete the saloon closes, and it’s patrons go to the next town over for their drinks, which happens to be the town that Big Stupid and Danny from ‘The Girl In Lover’s Lane’ just arrived in. This time Jack Elam is arrested by Beverly Garland from ‘Gunslinger’, who followed the townsfolk for their own safety, and Kerry is saved. Big Stupid and Kerry get married and take a drive to the Valley Lodge for their honeymoon, where they meet Torgo and the Master. Just before the Master can hypnotize them Tony Cardoza from ‘The Skydivers’ parachutes down and saves them by throwing a big thermos of coffee on the master, who dissolves like the wicked witch in The Wizard of Oz. Unfortunately, all the commotion attracts The Giant Gila Monster, (from The Giant Gila Monster, natch) who attacks everybody. The hot rodders from ‘Girls Town’ happen to be drag racing through the desert, and they crash into the Gila Monster, killing it. This time Daddy O doesn’t roll his car, and he and Silver fall in love, and are married by the preacher from ‘Last Clear Chance’.
They’re from the same movie, but I’d like to see a prequel to Deathstalker III starting Troxartis and the wizard Enitius(sp?). There must be an underlying reason as to why Troxartis was so delighted too see Enitius.
I always geta kick outta the end of Robot Holocaust when Tom says, “He’s a robot, he’s a human. They’re detectives!”
The MST3K Expendables, starring:
-Ator
-Zapp Rowsdower
-Mitchell
-Blast Hardcheese
-Ken
-The Rider
-El Santo
-That guy from Future War (aka The Runaway)
Mikey from “Teenage Crimewave” and Kevin from “Hobgoblins” are crime fighters with Rowsdower and Vadinho as the hypercompetent sidekicks who do all the work and solve the crimes for our lame “heroes”.
Troy from The Final Sacrifice and Mikey from Teenage Strangler in a reboot of the Hardy Boys.
Danny Winslow from “Girl in Lover’s Lane” and Jimmy Wilson from “I Accuse My Parents” are: “Dumb and Dumber.”
RE: Sampo:”…sensible but mousey Iris from “The Beatniks” …”
??
Iris was the sleezy, dumb member of the gang.. I believe that you`re thinking of Helen, Mr. Bayliss` secretary.
Gillman and The She Creature meet in the ocean and fall in love. Then the move to the suburbs and have children! Hijinks ensue. Their wacky neighbor, Dr. Lockhart from The Legend of Boggy Creek notes, “I saw the little creature!”
Ok, this might be inappropriate…
A little reworking of a D.H. Lawrence novel, wherein we find the marriage of Kitty Reed and Jimmy Wilson is growing cold. In her boredom, she finds herself attracted to the rough but kindly gardener, Lobo. We’ll call the picture, “Time for Go to Bed.”
How about the dad (Mike) from “Manos” and Crenshaw from “Boggy Creek 2” in a remake of the Odd Couple! You would have totally incompetent Mike and smelly cheese crusted Crenshaw sharing an apartment. The landlord could be played by (section 8) Dan Kester from “Giant Spider Invasion”.