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Bittersweet HeartsAlert regular Goshzilla made this kewl graphic with all the “bittersweet hearts” used in the sketch on the show.
Of course, on Twitter there’s been #rejectedcandyhearts going on all week. I felt a little funny about contributing because Joel, who invented the concept, is now Twitter. But even he volunteered a few (which brings this back on topic), such as “I’m old,” “Low life” and “I’m awful.” Bill Corbett offered: “Welcome To The Terrordome,” “Fellow Brony?” and “The Heart Wants What It Wants.” Any phrases you’d like to see on a candy heart? 31 Replies to “Bittersweet Hearts”Commenting at Satellite News
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Nice going, Goshzilla!
Just for Gypsy, I’d put “Richard Basehart” on a purple candy heart. She’s so adorable!
Two Bittersweet Hearts:
One reads “Tawny Kitaen”, the other “a plate of Bratwurst”
(both good and substantial)
Might be too many words, but “I’m filled with hate”
And of course, “It stinks!”
Submitted for your consideration: (pretend they’re centered)
NUMB
ENNUI
BLAH
IT PUTS THE
LOTION ON
ITS SKIN
JEEEEE-
EEEEEE-
——D
YAWN
OH, ALL RIGHT
Here’s a few I’d like to see:
McCloud!
Puma
Werwilf?
Flying elves are back!
Hi-Keebah
HUZZAH
Bite Me
“My Hinder”
It took me a long time to get the ‘Its blue!’ Thing.
I didn’t realize what it meant.
“JEREMIAH 17:9”
“BANG BANG”
“ASK AGAIN LATER”
“I LOVE ME”
“PLAY N STREET”
“GATOR SKIN”
“THAT’S ALL FOLKS”
“CTHULHU LOVES U”
“KEEP IT”
“TURNS OUT I’M GAY”
“GOTTA GO!”
“NEED A MAP?”
“YOUR MOM SAID”
“NEAREST EXIT”
“FINAL TEXT 2U”
As, shucks. :blush: After watching the sketch a few more times on YouTube, think I left out LOVE ME, which sounds like a real one, if a bit desperate. Naturally, I have some of my own:
LET’S GO DUTCH
THERE’S ALWAYS NEXT YEAR
FOOT ODOR
MAKE ME A SAMMICH
TOO MANY CATS
GREAT PERSONALITY
I WAS FAKING TOO
BACNE
GOT BOOZE?
DOUBLE BAG IT
RESTRAINING ORDER
And for our amorous friends in Shelbyville:
ATTRACTIVE COUSIN
“Does This Look Infected?”
“It Burns When I Pee”
“Like a Brother”
“Wanna Sext?”
“Dick Pics”
Joel, J. Elvis, et al, could easily sell their line of parody bittersweet hearts at the new Dumb Starbucks.
Bill seems to be slightly obsessed with a certain cartoon about small horses. It’s okay, Bill. Join the Herd.
Anyway.
“Blue Balls”
“Let’s Boff”
“Donkey Puncher”
“I’m Engorged”
“Nun Puppet”
“Not the Bees”
STD Free,
Now
Which
Lips?
Priapism
4
You
“Garlic on Bullets”
“Work for Food”
“Talking to Me?”
“Don’t Bother”
“WHAT’S THAT DOWN THERE?”
WELL IT’S LAST CALL
YOU SCARE CHILDREN!
“Tired of lying by omission”
“why don’t you hold it now?”
“Deus Sex Machina”
“Push the button Skank”
“That’s not Mountain Dew”
” I miss Taradise”
“Gabe Kaplanesque”
“I ought to feed you to those things”
“your hands smell like feet”
“A rose is rose is a rose is a rose…no, wait…”
“Sexy Prius owner”
Wow. That’s just… Wow.
“You’re not the father”
“You ARE the father”
Either one could be a nice heart or a bittersweet heart, depending on who you gave it to.
HAPPY VD DAY
No, wait, that came out wrong…
IF YOU SEE KAY
Of course, the Peanuts special did it years earlier:
Peppermint Patty: “I got HOT STUFF.”
Marcie: “I got WOO WOO.”
Charlie Brown: “I got FORGET IT, KID.”
CARLOS DANGER
WHY NOT?
I BEG U
CHKN LADY
SQUISHY
COUNTRY MATTERS
HAPPY N YR WORK?
PRIZE-WINNING ESSAY WRITER
“Too small.”
“Never again.”
“Ick, no!”
“Selfish lover”
“Yes, mother.” (or “Yes, father.”, depending on which direction your Oedipal/Elektra issues skew)
“Unfulfilled.”
“Finish, already!”
“Lose some weight.”