My topic suggestion concerns tack-on riffs. By this I mean riffs where the riffer adds on something to what a person in the movie just said. For example, my favorite occurs in the “A Day at the Fair” short, from Code Name: Diamond Head. During the cake judging, the narrator states, “Judging cakes ought to be fun.” Servo then adds, “…but this woman sucks the joy out of it.”
This works especially well with narration. The first one that comes to mind is from “A Date with Your Family.” Narrator: “The women of this family seem to feel they owe it to the men of the family to look relaxed, rested and attractive at dinner time.” Mike: “…so they’re unsuspecting when they KILL THEM!”
What’s your pick?
Keep those topics coming!
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@50 Progress Island has so many of my favorites
“Luxury Hotels”…”Are desperately needed”
From Prince of Space:
Krankor: I am proud to be in the company of four of the greatest scientists of Earth. Please make yourself comfortable…
Servo: Until they arrive.
Man with calm voice: Since Dr. Tanaway is ill today, his assistant Mr. Tabana will (whatever he says).
Mike: Can’t get enough Super Sugar Crisp.
Kid: Yesterday you laughed at us, today we’re heroes.
Servo: Now you’re gonna take a beating.
Man: Manacata, come here.
Mike: I understand you’re stuffed with cheese.
The Creeping Terror
Narrator: “[lead character’s name, I don’t remember what it is] and his wife are just getting back from their honeymoon.”
Mike: “Yes. They did the nasty.”
Ooh, great topic! A few favorites:
Noel: Now go take a walk!
Crow: Over there in the walking area!
-Werewolf
David Strickland: Listen to the word of God.
Servo: For he loves you and he may kill you if you don’t.
-Touch of Satan
Mr Creepyhusband: This is Mickey.
Crow: Mickey’s a wide-awake nightmare.
-The Screaming Skull
And my very favorite:
Luther: You didn’t… CALL him, did you?
Mike: Or… MAIL anything?
-Touch of Satan
One of my favorites is from “Are You Ready for Marriage?”
Counselor: “Larry, your distinctly masculine outlook on life…”
Tom (as Larry): “Thank you!”
Counselor: “..and Sue, your feminine way of looking at things…”
Crow: “…is wrong.”
Counselor: “Your capacities to love and be loved…”
Mike: “…are all missing.”
I second #20’s “Texans” I’m from Austin,we need to secede from Texas.
I have a lot of favorite riffs of this type, but one of my all time favorites is from “Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders.” At least, the first time I heard it was a favorite.
Merlin asks the woman outside the store about the demonic toy monkey he has carelessly let loose upon the world. She replies that she does not have it, and he replies with:
“Oh, blast it!”
To which Mike adds, in a dead-on impression of Merlin’s wizardly tone,
“…now I’m gonna have to send you to Hell!”
I don’t know if the line by itself is as funny as Mike’s perfect impression of Merlin’s voice. When a friend and I originally watched this episode in high school, we actually mistook Mike’s impression for Merlin himself, not even realizing it was a riff. We sat in stunned silence for a few seconds and stared at each other, and then both suddenly realized our mistake and laughed so hard we cried.
From the Budget short:
“He’d go down to the bank each week…”
“…and rob it.”
The movie-
“They’re magnetized.”
“And if your hands were metal that would mean something.”
Gunslinger-
“Nice quiet little town you got here.”
“Dead quiet!”
And I have to mention the oft used-
“At first!”
X Marks the Spot:
Judge: “Fifteen years…”
Crow: “…On a dead man’s chest!”
Judge: “But as to his own safety and wellbeing, he’s downright selfish…”
Crow: “…PAHH!!”
A few from RiffTrax:
Predator
Jesse Ventura: What the f**k?
Mike: is what Minnesotans said the morning they awoke to find they’d elected him governor.
Twilight
Edward: I like watching you sleep. It’s…
Bill: extra creepy.
The Attack of the Clones
Padme: I love the water
Kevin: is my entry in the say-the-most-vapid-thing-you-can-think-of contest.
Anakin: If you’ll excuse me [leaps out of ship].
Kevin: it’s the dialog, I can’t take it anymore!
Dooku: I wish he were still alive. I could use his help…
Mike: I have a Sudoku that’s killing me.
Nice selections, everyone. I would agree with all of them, but the four that I remember are:
“Beauty, grace and rythym,” “You won’t find them here.” Snow Thrills
“Damn,” “You all to hell.” Godzilla vs. Megalon
“Fellow citizens and lovers of good music,” “You better leave.” Teenage Strangler.
“Bye,” “Davey.” Gamera
Master Ninja II
Max: Good looking girl, though, isn’t she? or does your ninja discipline make you immune to such things?
Lee: There are certain yearnings one does not want to overcome…
Joel (as Lee): besides, it took a shuriken wheel in the whipper once.
Aquatic Wizards
Narrator: There’s only one way to stop: just let go
Servo: of your sensibility and dress like a girl. You know you want to!
Tormented
Meg: The first thing you’re going to do is have a looong vacation…
Servo: in Hell!
Meg: You’ll remember to take the bouquet when I hand it to you, won’t you?
Sandy: I’ll remember…
Crow (as Sandy): if we’re not all dead.
The Mole People
The Pompous One: We’ll make camp here
Crow: and we’ll dig our graves over there.
Terror from the Year 5000
Narrator: Now, in an isolated area of central Florida, man struggles to penetrate the most imposing barrier of all
Servo: Dames!
Last Clear Chance short:
Narrator: “Many people who have survived a crossing accident will say…”
Servo: “AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!”
Assignment: Venezuela short:
Narrator: “But first I have to like this language problem.”
Crow: “And Escobar, here.”
Days of Our Year short:
Narrator: “This is Helen. Although she has never been in an accident…”
Servo: “She acts like she has.”
more from RiffTrax:
Star Wars Rots
Palpatine (losing to Mace): I–I–I–
Kevin: I lost my place in this script again, dammit!
Twilight part whatever
Charlie: Edward will make a good husband…
Kevin: and a great daughter.
…
Charlie: I know things. Like… how to hunt somebody to the ends of the earth…
Bill: and how to be the third toast at this wedding–are you kidding me?!
Vampire Leader: I will collect every facet of the truth from someone more central to the story…
Bill: Mustache Dad, kindly step forward.
The Amazing Colossal Man:
Ground Control Soldier: Ground to pilot! Ground to pilot! This is control! Can you read me?
Joel: A bedtime story.
Eegah:
Arch Hall Jr singing: :musicnote: If I had a million dollars. :musicnote:
Crow: :musicnote: They’d raise my taxes. :musicnote:
Mitchell
John Saxon: I admire a man like you…
Crow: not you specifically.
Gamera vs. Zigra
Winky-blinky lady: We used to live in the sea…
Joel: and then we got a job!
Gamera vs. Guiron
Guy: It’s pretty hard to believe.
Little girl: You better believe it!
Crow (as John Wayne): or you’re dead where you stand!
Hamlet
Gertrude: I pray thee, stay with us; go not to Wittenberg.
Servo: there are plenty of good state schools here.
Hamlet: I shall in all my best obey you, madam.
Claudius: Good, ’tis a loving and a fair reply
Mike: now, go mow the lawn.
For me, this scene in What To Do On a Date exemplifies their tack-on riffs:
Crow (as Narrator): With each dial he comes closer and closer to the most humiliating moment of his life.
Nick: What if she says no?
Joel (as Jeff): She will.
Kay (on phone): Hello?
Nick: Hello, Kay?
Servo (as Kay): No!
Nick: This is Nick Baxter.
Servo: No!
Kay: Oh hi Nick. How are you?
Joel (as Nick): I hurt inside.
Nick: Say Kay, next Friday would you like to see Wagon Train at the movies?
Crow: I didn’t think so. Bye.
Kay: Oh I’m sorry Nick. I suppose you’ve got your mind made up to see it?
Nick: You’ve seen it? (to Jeff) She’s already seen it.
Servo (as Jeff): Hang up.
A couple from the movie, when Meachem and Exeter first meet through the Interociter. I’m kinda paraphrasing the movie lines here.
Exeter: “I’m searching for men and women of exceptional scientific knowledge…”
Mike: “You know any?”
A little later,
Exeter: “Come, come doctor, it’s not possible that a man of your intelligence isn’t curious to find out who I am, where I come from…”
Tom: “If I have pants on.”
From “Eegah” “Holy cow he was standing here watching us!” (Crow) “Playing bass.
A few more from the movie:
After Ruth says that “Exeter will flatter you to death.”
Exeter: “The truth is never flattering, Dr. Adams.”
Tom: “You fine foxy lady!”
After the Monitor makes known the Metalunans’ plan to relocate to Earth:
Exeter: “A peaceful relocation…”
Tom: “After the genocide, of course.”
When the Monitor questions Exeter on whether humans should be allowed to have free minds:
Exeter: “I do…”
Crow: “No, I mean, yes, um, oh whatever you think!”
Exeter: “…I’ve lived with them…”
Mike: “I’ve partied with them!”
At the end, when Exeter brings Meachem and Ruth back to Earth:
Exeter: “Your plane is where you left it, in the cargo hold…”
Mike: “I think.”
Exter: “Unconventional way for you to return home, of course, but…”
Crow: “At least you’ve got a planet.”
From The Amazing Colossal Man:
Dr. Lindstrom: “Now you probably know that the body is like a factory…”
Tom: “In that there’s a lot of underpaid workers in it?”
I thought of a few more!
“I’m not going to hurt you, Puma…”
Joel: I’m going to KILL you.
-Ring of Terror
“The next most important thing…”
Crow: … is peanut butter.
-Cave Dwellers
Narrator: This tractor is just like Father’s back at home.
Crow: Except this one doesn’t have Father’s arm stuck in it.
-A Day at the Fair
Alexander Phipps: I thought you said your sister was just a little kid.
Mike: She must be forty!
-A Young Man’s Fancy
Ben Franklin: It’s not because you’re a poor earner, William. It’s because you’re a poor spender.
Servo: And a bad person.
-Money Talks
Ben Franklin: Come on, boy.
Mike: Jump on my stomach!
-Money Talks
Oooh, I like threads like these!
From Squirm:
Sheriff Pink (to Mick): …and if I see you just one more time…
Servo: That’ll be three times!
Body Care & Grooming:
Narrator: …when flowers bloom…
Joel: And so do young men!
During the Home Economics story their was some sentence finishers to the effect that the girls were using what they learned, “to make tar heroine”, and “by wiring bombs”.
One juvenile thing I do sometimes at home is when a TV/movie character says something like, “There’s only one thing to do now”, I’ll say, “f**k”. When I did this at the end of Eyes wide shut, Nicole Kidman’s character said, “f**k”, right after I did. I felt like I had been transported to Soviet Russia where movie always riffs you.
I forgot one of my favorites:
This Island Earth
Joe: You know what my kids would say…
Servo: …You’re not my real father!
One of my favorites from Boggy Creek II
“…that this land is and should remain unspoilt.” – As blue smoke poured from my motor.
from Day the Earth Froze:
Anniki is my name…
Poker’s my game!
from Invasion of the Neptune Men…
Is that a man?
Yeah, believe it or not!
Nobody?
Really?
Pod People:
Tommy- “Trumpy?”
J&TB- “Beastmaster? Ringo? Axl? Sinead? Chief? McCloud!”
Tommy’s Mother- “Good night.”
J&TB- “Good Night Mother. Good night John Boy. Good night Hardcastle. Good night McCormack. Good night chief. Good night McCloud.”
Episode 520 Radar Secret Service in the Union Pacific short:
Police officer: It was hard to believe just a few days before
Mike: I was being spanked by Rodney King.
Did I hear that correctly? I hit rewind and it sure sounds like it.
Disregard if this has already been mentioned, I didnt see it though.
1. From Why Study Industrial Arts:
“You know it’s fun to have an idea. (There, wasn’t that fun?)”
“To see it take shape in wood, or leather. (Or skin, if you can get it)”
2. From Final Sacrifice:
“Know anything about motors?”
“No sir. Not really. (I know all the songs from ‘Once Upon a Mattress,’ though!)”
3. From Dead Talk Back:
“It was at this point that the case took a strange turn. (All the suspects moved into my house.)”
I cry foul on #56.
We have been politely asked to leave politics aside at this site.
#80 I thought he says “Rod McKuen.”
Lost Continent
Caesar: Let’s take a fifteen minute break.
Servo: but keep the camera running.
Joel: arrrrrrgh!
Gunslinger
Cane: He killed my four brothers…
Crow: and my forefathers
Guy: Let me see if I got this straight…
Crow: you’re a man playing a woman playing a man.
Horror of Party Beach
Scott Scrawny (singing): You are not a summer love
Crow: you are a summer sausage
From the Academy Awards special:
“Are you ready to go back to Titanic?”
“…Or are you gonna cough up the money?!”
From the movie:
“Well, there you have it.”
“A letter opener.”
From Werewolf:
“I’m the good guy!”
“…Right, folks?”
On my number 80 post, I have been informed that it was Rod Mckuen, not Rodney King. My vhs copy messes up a little bit right there, so all I heard was Rodney King. Still qualifies for this thread though.
From Crash of the Moons
Secretary Drake: Cleolanta, try to understand . .
Joel: I’m a magic man.
Great ones from Progress Island, but there’s my all-time favorite as well:
Puerto Rico offers something for everyone.
…like FLIGHTS OUT!
Danger! Death Ray:
Carver: Thank you, Fargo…
Mike: For being a major agricultural center in the upper midwest…
From The Amazing Colossal Man:
Glen: “Can’t you imagine what a wonderful life we’d have together?”
Joel: “A big yard and a big house and…”
Glen: “Me way up here and you down…” (starts having chest pains again)
Tom: “You’re down…downtown? Down, uh, with it? Down and nasty?”
Not sure if I have this 100% accurate, but at one point from Mr. B. Natural:
Buzz: “Wish I could…
Servo: “wear tights and prance around.”
The one that always sticks is Andy Henderson’s observation in “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians’:
Andy: From this spot, there’s only one direction you can go!
Tom Servo: To Hell.
Touch of Satan – Why didn’t I think of this one before? With my luck,it’s already here.
Jodi: “Would [your father] mind if I skip rocks across [your pond]?”
Melissa Strickland: “Is that your car?”
Tom: “Mind if I skip rocks across it?”
My daughter and my favorite will always be in “Hercules vs. the Moonmen.”
Agar’s Father says: “When her father died, the last thing he said to me was . .”
and Tom goes “DARRRRRRRRRRRRR!” In one dying last gasp.
Always made us laugh.
One more, from ‘Laserblast’:
Keenan Wynn: Everything was HUSH HUSH!
Servo: …sweet Charlotte.
Wynn: Operation Sand Dust! HUSH HUSH!
Servo: …sweet Charlotte!
Wynn: Everyone connected with it! HUSH HUSH!
Servo: SWEET CHARLOTTE!
off topic but i have a hockey game this saturday and i will be playing after the game clowns in the sky and the love theme from some cow town puppet show.
So I was thinking about other tack-on riffs during the week*, and one I couldn’t get out of my mind hasn’t been mentioned. It’s from The Atomic Brain:
Mrs. March: “I’m a practical woman, Dr. Frank.”
Crow (in quavery old-lady voice): “Now, lop my head off!”
There’s the whole plot of the movie, right there, summed up tidily and succinctly, with the bonus feature of Trace’s great voice work.
—
*Do other posters mentally revisit a weekend discussion topic later in the week? Does anyone else think, “D’oh, what about THAT riff/moment/segment?” Or am I the only one who needs to step away from the MST?
No. 96, that was Servo, not Crow.
From Cave Dwellers:
(I wonder if it’s worth the risk of counting on that) Crow: Or the risk of ACTING.
Jungle Goddes:
(I was the only survivor) Servo: By some plot contrivance.
Wish I could think of more. I know there’s loads of them, but my mind went blank. :struggle:
From a vast pile of awesome sentence-finishing riffs, my most favorite of all time, from Attack Of The Giant Leeches:
LIZ: I’m goin’ out —
JOEL: –to church!
From Cave Dwellers:
Ator: We must not lose heart.
Crow: Because some guy will eat it.