Some time ago we had “Favorite/notable gay sex riffs” as a topic. Part of the premise was that there was nothing wrong with homosexuality and that sex, gay or straight, is just inherently funny. Recently I referenced Irving Klaw in a discussion of “Women of the Prehistoric Planet” and someone else asked me if my favorite movie was “Yards of Leather.” This got me thinking. With “50 Shades” in theaters, how about “Favorite BDSM, kinky sex or fetishism riffs” as a topic for discussion?
Examples for me would include when the mothers in Gamera vs Guiron are upset at their missing children and one expresses an intent to spank her son, Tom, 40 times, to which Servo blurts out, “I’m Tom, spank me!”
During Crows Houdini act at the beginning of Space Travelers when he describes the, “merciless, unrelenting — and strangely pleasurable — chains” he is wrapped in. Not that I’d know anything about that sort of thing.
I guess we can take a shot at it, with two caveats. First: Let’s keep things PG-13-ish, okay? Second: A lot of these riffs were written one or two decades ago, and, well, the world is a little different now. What was fodder for humor in 1991 is a legitimate alternative lifestyle in 2015. So let’s start with the basic assumption that nobody is belittling anybody else’s way of life. We all have our little things we enjoy, and we’re just sharing a few funny riffs between friends, okay? That said…
The riff that immediately came to my mind was a line in the short “X Marks the Spot.” The guardian angel says: “I don’t want to say he was lookin’ for trouble…” and the riff is: “…but I DID see him down by the waterfront wearin’ a spartan costume.”
Not that I would know what that’s like… :::hides spartan costume:::
What’s your pick?
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If no one has mentioned this one yet, I’m really surprised. From Girl in Gold Boots during the jailhouse scene:
Bob Ovalhead (to Icky Elf): Don’t worry, no one can finger you…
Crow: …not while you’re wearing that jumpsuit!
When “Dr. Z” is toiling in his lab, running around, turning dials, adding chemicals to his water tank and getting into that body harness:
Servo (as Dr. Z) – “I need to simplify my masturbation ritual.”
I love the dialog in Young Mans Fancy between Alexander Phipps and Mrs. Adams that Crow and Mike add:
Crow as Alex: I’ve never felt so comfortable around a woman.
Mike as Mrs. Adams: Alexander please!
Crow as AP: Want to go out for dinner sometime?
Mike as Mrs Adams: Don’t do this to me Alexander!
Gets me everytime!
in Red Zone Cuba, in the Prologue when Tom and Crow are giving out lotto numbers, when the number 69 is said, Crow did a naughty laugh wehn that number was said.
Screaming Skull: (Wife talks about how distraught she is) – “That’s too bad. So, some?”
This Island Earth: (pilot moving joystick barely in frame) – “Should we be seeing this?”
I love the casual sleaziness of Crow’s line “Why you gots to go, baby?” I forget what episode it’s from, though.
In Parts: The Clonus Horror, when Servo says “There is a stirring in my little clonus.”
This Island Earth —
Crow: (as Faith Domergue approaches in her 50s car) “Ah, there are two Woody’s in this film!!”
Zombie Nightmare, during the opening credits:
Crow: And Tia Carrere! We may actually have to pay attention!! Yum! Yum! Yum!
(and all the other comments about whether she should be in her underwear during a particular scene).
From Pumaman: “It’s S&M Day at the field museum!”
That’s from Merlin’s Shop. They show a doll on screen and Crow says “Chatty Cathy, why you gots to go?”
Which movie was it where a character mentioned “the crack of dawn”, leading one of the bots to point out “that’s where they found Tony Orlando”?
I don’t know how this one was missed by us all. Crow’s “Fashion means Coogan” skit in Space Children. The illustrations of Jackie Coogan in a Singlelette, tap pants and riding croup, and mesh banana warmer was truly disturbing.
It also brought to mind the Reel vs Real life skit in Teenagers from Outer Space. Two lines from Real life; “your roommate leaves you with crusty laundry…” and “your roommate is a butane addict who goes through your underwear draw…”
From “OUT OF THIS WORLD”- “Hey..Can I split your top and butter your buns?”
“The Phantom Planet”
“What’s he doing in there?! Stop it!”
“Why did that have to shrink twice as much as the rest of me?”
“Aah! Something fleshy’s touching my lower back!”
“He IS an alien! He only has one!”
From Castle of Fu Manchu:
Nayland Smith: “Thank you, Kurt. It was very kind of you to come.”
Joel, as Kurt: “Well, I didn’t mean to, but the new seat cushions…”
Tom: “JOEL!”
Gets me every time. I still can’t believe they used that joke but it is great.
That’s from “Laserblast.” I actually cried laughing when I heard that the first time. :laugh:
The Projected Man…the heroine refers to her partner as “Mr. Limpy”, and answers the phone “Unsatisfied..”
I don’t know if this one was already mentioned but I just happened to be watching THE PROJECTED MAN:
Inspector standing over dead body: “May I get on?”
Servo: “Well, he’s dead, but knock yourself out.”
I had forgotten this line & was actually a little shocked. I have a reasonably dark sense of humor; but necrophilia gags on MST?
I laughed hysterically, but was a bit surprised.
Well I’ve had fun with this topic. Time for me and “the wife” to put on our spartan costumes and hang out by the waterfront while waiting for the midnight screening of Yards of Leather.
Another fun WDT with a lot of great comments. :yes: I have one more from Parts: The Clonus Horror.
Richard is lying next to Lena with his smoking groin area.
Mike: I guess I should take it easy on you next time.
from Gamera VS Gaos
When some saids, look at the Green Glow
“Marlynn Chambers”
a joke on Behind the Green Door (look this one up yourselve kids, must be 18 however).
Just looked it up. :laugh:
why i said 18 years old.
Pumaman:
[Jane reclines on the bed]
Crow: All aboard!
Squirm:
Geri’s mother: I just don’t want you to be too disappointed if he doesn’t come.
Crow: Mother! That’s private.
I don’t think it’s kinky, I just never noticed it before.
At about 18:50 into Earth vs. Spider you can tell Crow is looking down the blouse of one of Carol’s classmates. He even does a gasp or a mouths a silent “wow.” Josh’s Tom and Bill’s Crow were usually more lecherous, but it was a revelation to see Trace’s Crow be a peeper.
Atta boy