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Weekend Discussion Thread: Favorite MSTed Dads

Alert regular Timmy suggests, since it’s Father’s Day weekend:

Who is your favorite father on mst3k (and least favorite too). Mine is Joel since he was a father figure to the bots (while Mike was the crazy uncle).

Gotta go with the permissive, clueless dad in “The Violent Years.” Oh, and he stinks at his job, too.

What’s your pick?

63 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Favorite MSTed Dads”

  1. Fart Bargo says:

    I have to go with Mr Warren from the short “Hired”. He evidently still supports his doughy middle aged sales manager son, doles out some really good advice and wears a filthy hanky on his head while doing so.


  2. robot rump! says:

    Big Stupid seemed like a pretty cool dad to Danny. Always there with helpful advice about transience, gambling and getting the crap beat out of you. And was ever on guard against the odd heterosexual experience.


  3. Jay Walden says:

    A least favorite, but still funny, MST dad would be Michelle’s Dad from “Girl in Gold Boots”. “Everything I touch turns to flies”. Yeah THAT guy. Most favorite? Gotta’ be the old guy (bad with names here) on Space Mutiny who lets the Valerians play under his robe and shake his belly like a bowl full of jelly. :-*


  4. astropaul says:

    How about Marv’s insulting, depressing dad from High School Big Shot?

    “School called; everyone hates you.”

    Beans straight from the can and a suicide — is that too dark for Father’s Day?


  5. Kenneth Morgan says:

    There’s Mr. Duval (Del Moore’s character) from “Catalina Caper”. Sure, he’s a con artist, but he doesn’t really hurt anybody, since he only seems to fleece bad guys. He’s rich and fairly good-natured, he tries to have a good relationship with his son, and Lawrence (“Ya got me!) is there to clean up any messes,


  6. Kansas says:

    Best dad would be Boggy Creek creature. When his son is kidnapped, he crashes through the front door and makes Crenshaw soil his pants (or perhaps his pants were like that already).

    Worst dad is a more crowded field, but I’ll second Jay Walden’s choice of Girl in Gold Boots dad. Even good natured Critter would probably lose his temper with this guy and knock him around.


  7. robniles says:

    Rowsdower’s kind of a father figure to Troy, right? No?

    I’ll give it up to Kimar from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. He’s an effective leader, loves his kids, has a clear sense of honor, and knows when to let go. Plus he looks dashing in a cape. What more do you want in a dad?

    Least favorite: Arch Hall, Sr. in Eegah. I don’t think I need to explain why.


  8. TurkeyVolumeGuessingGal says:

    The Gilligan’s Island step-dad on Space Children. He drinks a lot of beer and chases Tim all across the beach and starts to shake Tim before the blob-thingy flashes and stops him. Say what you will, a lot of step-dads don’t take the time to get involved in their step-children’s lives!

    :-(( :-(( :-(( :-P :-P :-P


  9. DarkGrandmaofDeath says:

    The dad from A Date with Your Family is one of the best, of course. He has a kindly mustache, and his kids even act as if they’re genuinely glad to see him.

    I don’t know if I’d call him “worst” but Jimmy’s father (from I Accuse My Parents) may not be the best model ever. Too much booze, too many floozies sitting on his lap. But he does make sure to give Jimmy money on or around his birthday, so that’s nice, I guess.


  10. XZB says:

    Well let’s see.

    There’s Charles B. Pierce who was nice enough to give his son a role in the movie and strange enough to require him to be shirtless throughout.

    Daddy Big Lake from Assignment Venezuela.

    And Is the daughter the thing with the wheel, no im thinking of a bike Dad from Sinister Urge.

    But the best dad is very obviously Captain Santa Clause from Space Mutiny.

    The worst is also just as easy: Not Important Enough to Remember His Name Dad/director/writer/”star”/producer/caterror/dance choreographer from Manos Dad.


  11. trickymutha says:

    John Mcenroe from Merlin is my favorite. He has a bug zapper so he can enjoy his morning Moosehead. He treats the pusher next door with respect. He enjoys muskrat love. He doesn’t beat his kid for singing Rock and roll martian. Finally, what other dad would bury a stinking monkey to save his kid while risking the wrath of supernatural beings?


  12. Jay says:

    Charles B. Pierce – creator, director, producer, and perpetrator responsible for “Boggy Creek II: And The Legend Continues”. For Charles so loved his son that he gave him the roll as shirtless male sex hunk in the movie. I guess a Father’s love is blind, too.
    As for the worst father, I nominate every father in Jaoan who let his son go out in public wearing those upsetting shorts. Wakari mas, Papa san? — Jay


  13. Garza says:

    Mike from Manos: The Hands of Fate. He tried. He really did.


  14. Steve K says:

    I’m going with Professor Dad from Horror at Party Beach. It’s so noble of him to continue to care for and raise his daughter well into her forties. And the sacrifices he’s had to make to deal with her tragic dubbing condition…

    Compare that to the horrible Professor Dad from Killer Shrews: How best to raise your clearly adult daughter? How about stranding her on an isolated island with a pychopath lab assistant and stocking the place with booze and genetically modified monsters? What could go wrong?


  15. ck says:

    Wait a minute! What about Jimmy’s parents in I Accuse My Parents? In addition
    to his swell mom, his dad gives him money at the drop of a hat, encourrages him
    to date anyone in sight—including the odd lady next door who keeps dropping
    in—and sees that the house is well supplied ith liquor and guns for Jimmy’s use.
    And there’s no tiresome oversight of Jimmy. (What a guy). Now if he could only
    cook hamburger sammiches…


  16. ready4sumfootball says:

    Not a best father, but Gumby’s father and mother for that matter are really not that great. Gumby really didn’t do anything wrong; things just got way out of hand.


  17. MSTie says:

    I’m going to stretch it here to include grandfathers, because they were fathers too. My favorite would then be kindly ol’ Grandpa from Teenagers from Outer Space. A stranger with no money wants to rent a room in our house? No problem! Said stranger talks and acts weird but wants to go for a drive with my granddaughter? No problem! Grandpa really did seem like a sweet character and I’m glad he didn’t get the skeletonizing ray gun treatment or “Tor-chah!”

    Worst? How about the dad in I Was a Teenage Werewolf? He just wasn’t there for his son. I mean, he thinks he’s got problems? Man up and help your poor milk-throwing son, you loser. “Hey, it’s depressing dad!”


  18. Sitting Duck says:

    For best dad, I’ll go with Akronos from Cave Dwellers. While he may be really dull, at least he raised his daughter to kick hinder instead of making her a helpless damsel (as for that incident in the snake pit, perhaps she just has a crippling fear of snakes).

    For worst dad, I’ll second Michele’s dad from Girl in Gold Boots with his general abusiveness and his fryer medium addiction.


  19. Saherrin says:

    It’s easy to mention the terrible fathers from the “youth gone awry” eps like High School Big Shot, I Accuse My Parents , Violent Years, etc…) but I will keep in the spirit of the thing.

    Do Grandparents count? How about the kindly grandad on “Teenagers from Outer Space”?? He seemed very helpful and nonplussed even with the space teens and death Rays and TORTURE!!!

    Kimar from Santa Claus Conquers The Martians seems like a dad who understands his kids by wanting them to enjoy Christmas (albeit by kidnapping Santa and twomEarth kids) but live and learn…

    The marine biologists from “Gamera vs. Zigra” for loot being upset that kids seem to put themselves in harms way and smuggle aboard their bathysphere.

    Along the same lines, the dad from Godzilla vs. Megalon because he has a cool robot and lets the kid play with it.


  20. Dr. Erickson says:

    Best is the spry little dad from ‘Beast of Yucca Flats’ who runs (and runs) all over the wasteland looking for his nerdy boys while Joe Dobson (evidently mistaking him for ‘The Beast’) fires blindly at him from the window of a swooping Piper Cub. (Such an exciting climax, it’s a wonder Coleman never used it again.)

    Worst has to be Bill’s father in ‘The Thing that Wouldn’t Die.’ He’s a half-assed surgeon who enjoys watching his son and head nurse make out (only til their married, though, then it won’t be fun anymore), and there’s just no getting around the fact that he raised a truly evil child.


  21. Blowie the Dolphin says:

    I like Commander Santa Claus from Space Mutiny. Incompetent as he was, he did the best he could for the people of the Southern Sun. And, he was apparently the same age as his daughter.


  22. spacface69 says:

    The dad in 506-Eegah. At least he’s concerned no one runs into a snake.


  23. radioman970 says:

    Wanda’s dad from LA for worst. He goes out on all these adventures to dangerous places, did he expect Wanda to trek her completely unprepared weak ass out there to find him every time…? gee, thanks dad for risking my life every time you need to find the bottom of the earth or something!

    the dad from Uncle Jim’s dairy farm for one of the best. get those kids on the farm and teach them that eggs and pork parts don’t grown on friggin trees!


  24. jaybird3rd says:

    For the best, I’d choose Mr. Kingman from “Earth vs the Spider”. He’s a scientist, but also a man of action, and he did a reasonably good job of looking out for his family and for his students.

    I wouldn’t exactly call him the worst, but Dr. Hidaka in “Gamera” (who refers to his female assistant as “his daughter” at one point) loses dozens of points for letting that creepy reporter stalk her throughout the movie. He even lies about the reporter’s knowledge of Gamera in order to keep them together, and tells her at the end of the movie to “forget about science” and become the reporter’s “inspiration”. Great career advice!


  25. EricJ says:

    Joel was defintely the parent–especially in the Amazing Colossal Man segment (“Okay guys, I try to teach you a little something, now just get your hinders back into the theater…”)–but Mike wasn’t the “crazy uncle”, he was the older head-rubbing, sibling-tormenting high-school big-brother.
    (Which may be why they did so many alternate-universe scenarios of Eddie or Evil Boy Scout Mike, to say, “Hey, they could have ended up with someone worse!“)

    And apparently nobody remembers the dad from Robot Holocaust, who, like Akronos, refused to give up his scientific secrets of freedom, and was guacamole’d for it.

    Well let’s see.
    But the best dad is very obviously Captain Santa Clause from Space Mutiny.

    …Tim Allen?? (Yeah, I’m one of those nitpickers.)


  26. David Mello says:

    How about “adoptive dads?” Wally from “Prince of Space” would fit. He’d like to teach his kids something more than bootblacking (although they like it very much), then goes off to battle some evil chicken from outer space. He’s also smart enough to get the kids out of the way of danger thanks to a note on a birdcage.

    As far as shorts are concerned, how about the dad in “Is This Love?’, who though his daughter’s plans to marry Joe the football “star” would fade out when she falls for some other guy. Thing is, five minutes before, he offered the girl help on getting a house if she graduated from college. That’s kind of weird.


  27. robot rump! says:

    Rowsdower’s kind of a father figure to Troy, right? No?

    I’ll give it up to Kimar from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. He’s an effective leader, loves his kids, has a clear sense of honor, and knows when to let go. Plus he looks dashing in a cape. What more do you want in a dad?

    Least favorite: Arch Hall, Sr. in Eegah. I don’t think I need to explain why.

    well, in all fairness he did encourage the relationship with that nice ‘EEGAH’ boy while trying to keep Cabbage Patch Elvis from polluting the gene pool.


  28. Goji says:

    The froggy-voiced dad from Samson vs. the Vampire Women gets my vote. His daughter is cursed to join the legion of the undead, so he calls in a masked wrestler to lay the smackdown on the lot of them. Makes sense to me!


  29. Blonde Russian Spy says:

    I think Gamera made a pretty good father figure, at least in the later movies. He continually risks his life to save all those foolish, short-pantsed children who keep bumbling into danger.

    For worst dad, I’d go with Santa Claus from the Mexican film. Apparently, he kidnapped all those children from around the world, then fed them nothing but sugar and forced them into slave labor, all the while making them sing for his amusement.


  30. robot rump! says:

    i had thought about nominating the dad/granddad from ‘Robot Monster,’ but it was all a dream. or was it?


  31. TurkeyVolumeGuessingGal says:

    Arlene’s dad (in I Was a Teenage Werewolf) thoroughly checked out Tony and he must have known what he was doing, right? It’s not like Tony was a werewolf or anything. “Pretty” girls like Arlene deserved a great date! :dog2:

    The professor-dad on Terror from the Year 5000 had some great, emotional, moving thoughts about what the future must hold. :weep: :cry:

    The father of the annoying kid in the suit on Prince of Space could be nominated, if we overlook the fact that he puts out his cigarette on the kids’ collar. :cigarette:

    8-) :laugh: :struggle:


  32. hellokittee says:

    While there are a lot of horrible dads in the MST3k films (Mike from Manos, looking at you buddy. Everyone knows, you never stay the night at a place that has a Torgo), I like Jane’s (was that her name?) dad from Teenage Crimewave because while he lets his daughter get carted off to juvie after swearing to him that she is innocent, he eventually comes through for her in the end. While that dope Mike would have just let her become one of The Master’s wives.


  33. Murdock Hauser says:

    I’m not sure if he counts but, Al Frazier aka “Happy Chef” from “I Accuse My Parents was a great father figure for Jimmy. With all the money Jimmy received from his parents and earned at the shoe store he should at least give a Father’s Day card to Al.

    For worst dad, I agree with Jay Walden, Kansas, and Sitting Duck. Michele’s dad from “Girl in Gold Boots” was terrible.


  34. Kali says:

    Best dad? Hmm, that’s kind of difficult, but I think Rowsdower is probably the best father figure I can think of. Second place might be Baydoul from Quest of the Delta Knights, but he wasn’t that good at this “father/mentor” stuff, even if he was apparently written to be a medieval Obi Wan Kenobi. Third place might be Tony’s Dad in Zombie Nightmare, even though he wasn’t around long – at least his heart was in the right place, and somehow, Tony remained a good son even grown up as a heavy metal wrestler type (so Dad must have taught Tony the importance of being a good citizen, even as it all went to hell, literally, after Tony became a zombie).

    Worst dad? No contest here: Mike from Manos the Hands of Fate. He’s an idiot, he endangers his family for no good reason, always belittles his wife, couldn’t care less about his daughter, got the dog killed, and — since he was the writer of the movie — managed to have a scene where the fool is pawed on by the Master’s wives. Then, of course, he leads all of them into enslavement by the Master. And, of course, he’s a lousy shot, missing both a stock footage snake and a guy in a funny suit less than five feet away. Yeah, great father figure there…


  35. Juice says:

    Maybe not “Best Dad” exactly, but how about Hugh Beaumont as one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse? Sure he was strict, but he was fair. Sort of a Dad to the universe. What a sweet guy. And I bet he could beat up your dad.


  36. DarkGrandmaofDeath says:

    I’m going to add another answer to the “worst dad, adoptive/father figure” category. How could I have forgotten about Tommy, the little twerp from Pod People? He stole the egg from the cave, hatched it, hand-raised Trumpy, encouraged him to do magically stupid things, forced him to hide in the closet, saved him from his (Tommy’s) mom and uncle…and then pushed him out into the world to survive on his own. Nice one, kid! Keep the alien from his own kind, then abandon him when he’s inconvenient! I hope you never have children of your own.


  37. Flying Saucers Over Oz says:

    For Best Dad, I’ll have to go with Field Marshall Montgomery from ‘A Date With Your Family.’ After all, he made all this possible.

    For worst, there’s the old guy from EEGAH!, who not only lets his daughter get pawed by a caveman to save his own neck but casts his real-life son in all his movies and lets him do the soundtrack because he worked for nothing.

    Or if you want REALLY bad, there’s Tommy and Akiro’s dads from GAMERA VS. GAOS. They’re so bad they never even show up, even after their sons have been kidnapped by aliens.


  38. Well, this is MST3K, after all, so here’s my own dark, twisted faves.

    The grim-faced chick’s scientist dad in Robot Holocaust: Useless as a normal human, and even more useless as an avocado.

    Jimmy’s dad in I Accuse My Parents: Neglects Jimmy in favor of poker parties and booze progressive dinners, tries to make up for lack of attention by throwing money at the problem.

    The incompetent golf sweater-wearing dad in Manos: Finally makes himself useful after The Master makes him his undead slave to replace Torgo.

    Marv’s shiftless, unemployable, lushed-up bean-eating dad in High School Big Shot: “Three dollars! Thanks, pop, I’m gonna buy a French fry!”

    The fighter pilot’s Congressman dad in Starfighters: Cripes, what a pompous, pushy bastard. Reminds me of what I read about astronaut Buzz Aldrin’s relationship with his dad. Reportedly, the elder Aldrin, after hearing from his son about his assignment to the first lunar landing mission, gave Buzz a bunch of crap because he wasn’t going to be the FIRST man to walk on the moon.


  39. marshmallowpeeps says:

    I’d have to vote for the dad from the short, ‘The Home Economics Story.’ He’s just so ready to be done with the process of dropping off his daughter at college. Slouching crabbily in the chair, impatiently checking his watch, looking to see if it is martini-o’clock yet. Definitely top-shelf parenting.

    “Uh, see you in four years. Don’t call. A friend always, love Dad.”


  40. Son of Peanut says:

    I think the shorts have provided the best father figures of MST who teach us that money = love. Tommy learns to “appreciate” his father (and mother) and earns a whole nickel. Bill makes himself a budget then instantly discards it when dad gives him an extra dollar and a half so he can go to the dance. Frankly I’m not sure what young Jimmy Wilson was complaining about.


  41. Terry the Sensitive Knight says:

    Worst Dads:

    Michelle’s drunken, abusive dad from ‘Girl in Gold Boots’

    The tall, odd-faced kid’s drunken, abusive stepdad in ‘Space Children’. Gets extra points for being And The Rest.

    The depressive Loser Dad from ‘High School Big Shot’ who hangs himself.

    Mike from ‘Manos’. What more can be said?

    Jimmy’s Talking Corpse dad from ‘I Accuse My Parents’

    The incredibly fey yachtsman dad from ‘Catalina Caper’

    Not really a dad but drunk, abusive Uncle Bill from ‘Pod People’ who hates centipedes.

    Roxy’s bumbling dad from ‘Eegah’ who insists she just play along with caveman fondling.

    Chip’s dad from ‘Girl’s Town’ who seems blissfully unaware that his dead son was a rapist.

    The incredibly oily congressman from ‘Starfighters’

    Claire’s dad from ‘Terror From the Year 5000’ who seems okay with his daughter being engaged to his psycho of an assistant.

    Not really a dad but the brother-in-law backbrace-wearing hick from ‘Giant Spider Invasion’

    Nastenka’s browbeaten, submissive dad from ‘Jack Frost’. He gets better, though

    Not really a dad but Dr. Stefanik from ‘Agent for HARM’ who gets conned and ultimately killed by his not-niece.

    Not really a dad but old man Prossus from ‘Fire Maidens of Outer Space’ who pawns off his daughter(?) on the oily astronaut.

    Stepdad King Claudius from ‘Hamlet’. Like, duh!


  42. Terry the Sensitive Knight says:

    Best Dads:

    The really REALLY dull old guy Akronas from ‘Cave Dwellers’. As has been noted, he did a good job raising his daughter to be an ass-kicker. He also does a good job hiding the Geometric Nucleus from Zor.

    Not really a dad but ‘Daddy-O’ was a good father figure to Sonny.

    Not really a dad but chipmunk-y Captain Joe was a good father figure to ‘Fugitive Alien’ Ken. Wait, he actually did have a wife and daughter who were killed, and he was planning to retire to look after them.

    Kimar, the Martian King kidnapped Santa with only the best interests of his children in mind.

    Not really a dad, but the I Sing Whenever I Sing guy from ‘Gila Monster’ was a good father figure to the disabled girl.

    Betty’s kindly, unassuming Grandpa from ‘Teenagers From Outer Space’.

    Bovarro, played by the aggressively nice John Banner from ‘Crash of Moons’. BOOPIE!!!

    The doughy manager’s elf-swatting, hanky-wearing, advice-giving dad from ‘Hired!’.

    The VERY husky dad from ‘Zombie Nightmare’ who saves a girl from assault and gets himself killed.

    Not really a dad but Uncle Jim and his good ol’ Dairy Farm.

    The spry little dad from ‘Beast of Yucca Flats’ who nearly gets gunned down while looking for his kids. (Although he did let them wander off in the first place)

    The ‘Prince of Space’ was a pretty good dad to his adopted kids who like bootblacking VERY MUCH!

    Not sure if he’s really her dad but Mr. Strickland from ‘Touch of Satan’ seemed really understanding of Melissa being a witch and all.

    Troy’s dad, Larry Zonka, who ended up getting killed by the cultists in ‘Final Sacrifice’

    Gumby’s dad, Gumbo, from ‘Robot Rumpus’. Thank goodness for the internal genitalia!

    T’s dad from ‘Delta Knights’, who frees him from slavery and stuff.

    Stay-at-home dad David from ‘Merlin’s Shop’. He went to great lengths to get rid of that toy monkey, YOU STUPID MAN!!!!

    The Boggy Creek Creature, who may actually be a mom.


  43. PRINCE OF SPACE himself. Wally. Pretty much an invulnerable superhero, but apparently raises two adopted children. Don’t see that often. I don’t know about having his kids work as bootblacks at such a young age, but they seem to “like it very much.”


  44. Droppo says:

    John McCallister! He’s dedicated his life to finding Terri, the daughter he didn’t even know he had. He also serves as a father figure to Max Keller. After mere days together, Max is so touched by McCallister’s empathy and wisdom that he says, “now you’re beginning to understand me.” Max had never known that level of understanding before.

    So, thank you, John McCallister. Thank you for understanding Max…and all of us.


  45. Be Right There says:

    Crow’s ideal dad from “I Accuse my Parents”. He’s all powerful, and dispenses good Midwestern values while crushing all who block his path.


  46. Ray Dunakin says:

    Well, everybody’s pretty much covered the characters I would have picked. However, I must add my vote for the kindly grandpa from Teenagers From Outer Space. And honorable mention goes to the kindly fry cook from I Accuse My Parents.


  47. Dan says:

    I’m joining those voting for Commander Santa Claus. I mean, she wasn’t even his daughter but he gave that dead woman a second chance.

    As far as worst, I have to go with Mr. “I suck down a couple beers” from GIRL IN GOLD BOOTS. Most of the other fathers make some sort of attempt at doing their best (while, admittedly, failing miserably) but he’s just an abusive greaseball. And, I’m assuming, a really bad cook.


  48. Sitting Duck says:

    @ #37: I think they were in Gamera Vs. Guiron.


  49. Joe Mannix says:

    Jimmy’s Dad in “I Accuse My Parents,” for the Gordon Jump references alone!!


  50. Fart Bargo says:

    Great recommendations and thread.

    I previously listed my favorite dad but neglected to list my worse. I noticed a few posts in support of Wally, AKA Prince of Space. I respectfully disagree.

    Yes he was kind enough to adopt two children however did he enroll them in school? No he makes them shine shoes and probably keeps the money. Most decent parents encourage their children to go to school and achieve rewarding careers but Wally expects them to shine shoes the rest of their lives. He also expects his children’s friend’s parents to baby sit and feed them. Wally’s friends are unfunny weird men. He also disappear all night to have dinner with a “friend” and leave the differan alone. Mickey is clearly in need of medication, LOTS of it, just by virtual of how he expresses his joy “I LIKE IT VERY MUCH!”. Finally, he wears baby sun hats in a jaunty manner.

    I rest my case.


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