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Weekend Discussion Thread: The Perfect Riff at the Perfect Time

Todd suggests:

What is the most perfect riff at the most perfect time in MST3K films. The one that immediately comes to my mind is from “The Giant Spider Invasion” after Robert Easton tells his wife, “You’re so dumb you wouldn’t know rat dropping from Rice Krispies.” Crow’s answer: “Snap, Crackle, Poop.”

I’ve noted this one before but it still stands, from “Catalina Caper”: “It’s Gloria Estefan and the Catalina Deus Ex Sound Machina.” Amazing.

What’s your pick?

143 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: The Perfect Riff at the Perfect Time”

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  1. dakotaboy says:

    Nothing from Manos yot? How abot this one:

    Movie: “The car won’t start.”
    Crow: “That’s a real bitch, daddy!”

       2 likes

  2. dakotaboy says:

    Or this one, from the same episode:

    Joel: “Do something! Gah!”

    It fits the movie perfectly.

       2 likes

  3. DJ Convoy says:

    This Island Earth:

    Cal: I feel like a new toothbrush.

    Crow: So rub me on your gums in a circular motion.

       4 likes

  4. Murdock Hauser says:

    From Mr. B Natural.

    The shot fades from Buzz playing his trumpet to a smiling Mr. B. He or she then gives an okay sign.

    Joel: IT STINKS!

       6 likes

  5. Ro-man says:

    dakotaboy: Nothing from Manos yot?

    another I love: after multiple shots of Michael, Margaret, and Torgo contemplating their staying at Valley Lodge — will they? won’t they? should they? shouldn’t they? would the master approve? — the camera settles on Margaret:

    “Ambiguity is scary!”

       0 likes

  6. BBA says:

    Sometimes the movie perfectly sets up a reference. In Rocket Attack USA, when the spy reports home from a shed in Russia:

    “I find myself in a shotgun shack, in another part of the world. But this is not my beautiful house…”

       6 likes

  7. Shrike says:

    Flash of lighting, crack of thunder.
    Crow: STOP TALKING, JOHNNY LONGBONE!

       5 likes

  8. Ray Dunakin says:

    In “Giant Spider Invasion”, when the lush falls down and finds herself face-to-face with a fly-specked, severed cow’s head:

    Mike (sinisterly): “Got milk?”

       3 likes

  9. Troy says:

    Shrike:
    Flash of lighting, crack of thunder.
    Crow:STOP TALKING, JOHNNY LONGBONE!

    I not sure how many times they used that gag, but it cracked me up every single time.

       2 likes

  10. Cherokee Jack says:

    From the Public Speaking Short

    the “bad speaker’ is stumbling over his words and awkwardly hesitating and Crow/Trace says “er, um..panties!”

    never fails to make me laugh and I often say this to myself at the appropriate times…

       0 likes

  11. Cherokee Jack says:

    ALSO – from the short “Are You Ready For Marriage”:

    the camera cuts to a close up of the sternly Teutonic Justice of the Peace and someone says “Herr Oberst!” in a threatening German accent. Perfect!

    BTW, “Herr Oberst” is how you would address the equivalent of a Major in the German Army…

       0 likes

  12. Jason says:

    “Even THIS place has a great web site.” — Tom Servo, when the “heroes” of Boggy Creek II enter a hole in the wall in Hicksville, Arkansas.

       2 likes

  13. GROGNARD says:

    In Agent From Harm it always breaks me up when they start using the Ivy League panty boy voice “Looks like the old topnotch is in flames old trench!”

       2 likes

  14. Professor Gunther says:

    GROGNARD (#113): you reminded me of one of my all-time favorite riffs:

    Ava Vestok: “Are you coming, or will I have to swim alone?”

    Crow (as Adam “HARM” Chance): “Yes and yes.”

    So good. :)

       4 likes

  15. “Great balls of fire!”
    –Crow T. Robot, Colossus And The Headhunters

       0 likes

  16. “I LOVE dis place!”
    –Crow T. Robot, The Brain That Wouldn’t Die

       0 likes

  17. “…and it’ll leave a huge stain!”
    –Joel Robinson, Manhunt In Space

       0 likes

  18. “Let’s put our balls on the table, shall we?”
    –Tom Servo, Danger: Death Ray

       0 likes

  19. “Well said!”
    –Joel Robinson, The Unearthly

       1 likes

  20. Bob Boxbody:
    The drugging scene from The Brain that Wouldn’t Die…

    “I love this place!”

    Trace could always be counted on to break in suddenly and usually cracked up the other two riffs as well as us.

    “…with a Milwaukee Sawz-All!”
    –Crow T. Robot, The Brain That Wouldn’t Die

       0 likes

  21. JC:
    From The Dead Talk Back:

    “It was at this point that the case took an unusual turn.”
    “All the suspects moved into my house.”

    You could go anywhere you want with a setup like that, but they hit exactly the right note.

    “Not kneeing you in the groin is a constant struggle!”
    –Mike Nelson, The Dead Talk Back

       0 likes

  22. Ray Dunakin says:

    In “The Girl In Lover’s Lane”, when Big Stupid is patching up Danny and telling him what a lousy fighter he is, Tom or Crow (I forget which) says, as Danny:

    “What about that guy I groined in the knee?”

       1 likes

  23. Ray Dunakin says:

    In “War of the Colossal Beast” one of the characters arrives late and says, “Sorry to be so long”. Crow mutters, “Braggart”.

       1 likes

  24. Professor Gunther says:

    Near the end of THIS ISLAND EARTH, after finally making it back to Earth (on a Friday, even), a relieved Ruth snuggles up to Cal, and Crow (as Ruth) says, “Oh, Carl.” Those two simple words contain levels of hilarity that reveal more with each viewing.

       1 likes

  25. sdogmoore says:

    Mine is from Home Economics… Joel is even giggling in anticipation of his line, when he says “My! She had a big breakfast, didn’t she?. Sties know the film line that proceeds it… Busts me up every time..

       2 likes

  26. Cornjob says:

    #126

    Right around then is the riff about that being, “Quite a hairdo on the middle girl” when her head aligns with some flowers or something.

       2 likes

  27. Magicvoice says:

    In Ring of Terror, when the “college student” is getting ready to go out and grabs his jacket. Crow does the really old guy voice “I’m gonna have to take a sweater…”

       1 likes

  28. Charles says:

    Quest of the Delta Knights:
    “Packers!!!”
    Tom Servo, in response to seeing the main protagonist’s mother killed.
    You can actually hear the other cast members giggling.
    For this, I want “Packers!!!” to be my utterance on Earth.

       1 likes

  29. Jonathan Miller says:

    Also from “Home Economics”:

    “Look, look, look at my crotch!
    “Look, look, look at my crotch!
    “Look at my crotch!
    “Look at my crotch!
    “Looooooooooooook at my crotch! Yaaaay!!”

       4 likes

  30. Flying Saucers Over Oz says:

    Another one, from LAST CLEAR CHANCE…

    “Ask anyone who’s lived through a train accident and he’ll say…”
    “YAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!”

       3 likes

  31. Steve says:

    Riding with Death:
    “A bear in the air back your way.”

    CROW: “WINGED BEARS!! Oh my God, it’s the End Times.”

    I missed the next 30 seconds of riffs, I was laughing so hard.

       4 likes

  32. Cornjob says:

    “This may sound selfish..”

    “But I want everything for me.”

    From Screaming Skull.

       4 likes

  33. That ain't Dirk says:

    In “Operation Double 007”, after the wacky theft of the atomic nucleus, cut to the Thanatos board looking to one side: “What the hell was that!?”

    Also the perfectly timed nod to “Love and Death” in “The Beginning of the End”: “Wheat. I’m deaf and they’re talking about wheat.”

       1 likes

  34. Lex Logic says:

    Cornjob:
    “This may sound selfish..”

    “But I want everything for me.”

    From Screaming Skull.

    I love that recurring riff. Werewolf had two great ones:

    “Look, I don’t want to sound skeptical… But this is SUCH crap.

    “But at the risk of sounding nuts… I’ve replaced my toes with grapes!

       3 likes

  35. Cornjob says:

    Gotta love the “finishing the sentence” riffs.

    “I’ve been making…”

    “this movie really hard to watch.”

       1 likes

  36. Sitting Duck says:

    And here’s the original discussion for that.

    https://www.mst3kinfo.com/?p=17924

       0 likes

  37. BrazenDerek says:

    “Every scene of this movie looks like somebody’s last known photograph.”

    From “Manos.” Perfectly captures the weird snuff vibe.

       3 likes

  38. Steve Vil says:

    “Paneling world. Paneling world. Paneling world. Paneling world.”

    From the same episode:

    “Ident!”

    “That’s a shame. Maybe you should try a poly-vinyl coating.”

       1 likes

  39. Meadows says:

    Girl In Lovers Lane, when Big Stupid is backing out of the room after a half-nude girl has tried to seduce him and he closes the two sliding doors together….”YEEOOOWWWW!!!”

       1 likes

  40. Ray Dunakin says:

    I just remembered another great one, from the short, “Are You Ready For Marriage”…

    When the girl says they never argue, the counselor says, “Oh? No differences of opinion… or NO opinion?”

    Tom blurts out, “Objection! Leading the witness!”

    Cracks me up every time. :)

       1 likes

  41. Michael Howe says:

    In ‘Overdrawn at the Memory Bank.’

    “He’s HERE!”

    Crow: “GRAN-PA!! GRANPA!!!”

       1 likes

  42. Me_Torgo_You_Jane says:

    So many, but one that slays me is from “Touch of Satan” where Farmer Square-Head tells Jody about his cider:

    ” I put peanuts in it!”
    Crow: “Please tell me he said ‘peanuts!'”

       0 likes

  43. Flag on the Moon says:

    Just get the dagger out of my head! -Starfighters

       0 likes

Comments are closed.