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Weekend Discussion Thread: Which MSTed Movie Character Would YOU Vote For?

Our pal MSTie asks:

How about, with the campaign season upon us: Which MSTed character would make a great or interesting U.S. President?
I’ll have to say Gregory Peck’s character in Marooned. One, he has the gravitas and authoritative voice for the job. Also, he does what needs to be done with a minimum of fuss, and if someone has to be sacrificed for the greater good, he doesn’t let sentiment get in the way.
Bonus political candidate: Rowsdower for Canadian Prime Minister! Get some government funding to study that whole beer on the sun thing, eh?

She adds:

Please, for the love of all that is holy and unholy, would posters please refrain from making any kinds of comments about or comparisons to real life politicians, or this thread could blow up quickly.

We must agree. PLEASE no actual political commentary. Please.

That said, we’re going to go with the “Perfect Order” guys from “Stranded in Space.” They make the monorails run on time, and that whole black turtleneck and sports jacket look was awesome.

Your picks?

101 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Which MSTed Movie Character Would YOU Vote For?”

  1. David Mello says:

    Maybe, but Krankor actually gets things done, like build a monster with the body of Cecil Fielder and the face of Chicken Lady from “Kids in the Hall”. He’s my choice.
    Or Kobras from “PumaMan”. All he needs are lousy-looking heads of important guys, plus that mask, and he’s already passing bills.

       4 likes

  2. Satoris says:

    My vote goes to Johnny Longbow from Track of the Moon Beast. He seems pretty competent. Is a real good archer and makes some killer stew. Sherriff half-a-beef can be his running mate, so long as they don’t change the national anthem to “California Lady”.

       10 likes

  3. Ro-man says:

    Professor Gunther:
    Prince of Space.I would never tire of hearing him say, “Ha! Ha! — when are you going to learn that your weapons have no effect whatsoever on me?”

    Probably not the best national defense policy… ;-)

       6 likes

  4. Ray Dunakin says:

    BTW, I hear Denmark is seeking volunteers to run things now that the entire monarchy has succumbed to various stabbings and poisonings.

       6 likes

  5. Professor Gunther says:

    #53: I’m a pacifist — I only kill out of personal spite. :)

       9 likes

  6. Be Right There says:

    In Mexico, I’d like to see a Lupita/Samson ticket. Lupita grew up poor, so would have empathy for the average citizen, and seems to have developed a strong moral code at a young age. Samson/ El Santo would be both her running mate and personal bodyguard.

       11 likes

  7. Magicvoice says:

    Hugo/Vorelli – 2016!

       3 likes

  8. Fart Bargo says:

    I think Johnny from TIME OF THE APES would win in a landslide by galvanizing the apathetic voters with his campaign slogan;

    “I don’t care.”

       8 likes

  9. Patrick says:

    Toberlrone for President!

       8 likes

  10. Ro-man says:

    I also could see Glen, the Amazing Collossal Man, as a huge presence in the race. I think he would stand head and shoulders above his opponents, and would certainly raise the level of political discourse. Plus he’d bring a new perspective to the issues, and is someone that everyone, regardless of party affiliation, could look up to.

       15 likes

  11. Ro-man says:

    Ro-man:
    I also could see Glen, the Amazing Collossal Man, as a huge presence in the race.I think he would stand head and shoulders above his opponents, and would certainly raise the level of political discourse.Plus he’d bring a new perspective to the issues, and is someone that everyone, regardless of party affiliation, could look up to.

    I immediately regret my decision to post this… :struggle:

       6 likes

  12. GizmonicTemp says:

    Ro-man: I immediately regret my decision to post this…

    It wasn’t a colossal mistake. You didn’t totally bomb. I know your single-celled heart was in the right place and it was actually a “dam” good comment.

       13 likes

  13. RedZoneTuba says:

    Maybe we’re overlooking the obvious: Dr. F & running-mate TV’s Frank

    “Fabulous Fighters for Freedom! Forrester & Frank in 2016”

    And when it comes time to launch the big ones, who better to give the order to “Push the button, Frank”?

       14 likes

  14. Son of Peanut says:

    One thing’s for sure, I won’t be throwing my support behind David Stratton from Kitten with a Whip. How this guy got as far as he did in politics while being such an easily-manipulated tool is beyond me.

       5 likes

  15. Luther Strickland says:

    Bovaro, from “Clash of the Moons,” a leader truly concerned about the welfare of his people and impressed by the excellence of the character of everyone he meets. If only my young son could grow up with the insight of Bovaro ….

       9 likes

  16. Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy says:

    Zulu from “Code Name: Diamond Head.”

    campaign slogans:

    It is the same TIME for everyONE and everyWHERE. It is ZULU TIME.

    I carry a small ukulele, but I have very big teeth.

    Jackie Mason pants for everyone!

    So if you want a president who really WAS born in Hawaii…

    We shall put an apple in the mouths of our enemies and roast them like pigs and pineapples!

    RED WHITE & ZULU

    (all comments endorsed by King Kamehameha.)

       4 likes

  17. Johnny's nonchalance says:

    goalieboy82:
    what about trumpy for president.

    There will be earthers who say he didn’t really hatch in that boy’s bedroom but in a space ship or something.

       4 likes

  18. Johnny's nonchalance says:

    Sam the Keeper for president

    He’s single-handedly reviving the Know Nothing Party. Plus he’ll attract the old Ron Paul crowd.

    Coily for VP

    We’ll be the first to die!

       5 likes

  19. Edwin B says:

    The Master, of course! With Torgo as his VP. His cabinet would be made up entirely of women in billowy gowns. Of course I don’t think he would do much, just send Torgo around to say “The Master would not approve”. And there may be a lot of sex scandals with Torgos interpersonal skills.

       5 likes

  20. Tab Hunter says:

    BIOGRAPHY!

       0 likes

  21. Atorgo says:

    Luther Strickland:
    Bovaro, from “Clash of the Moons,” a leader truly concerned about the welfare of his people and impressed by the excellence of the character of everyone he meets.If only my young son could grow up with the insight of Bovaro ….

    BOOPY!

       4 likes

  22. Ray Dunakin says:

    How about Kimar (“Santa Claus Conquers the Martians) for Prez? He’s open-minded enough to try something new even in the face of opposition, he’s willing to take advice from wise men, he’s a man of action, and compassionate to children and tolerant towards imbeciles.

    Sure, he kidnapped Santa Claus and a couple of Earth kids, but his heart was in the right place and in the end he made sure they all got home safe and sound.

    I think he’d be a shoo-in, unless he chooses Droppo as his running. In that case, all bets are off.

       6 likes

  23. Dan says:

    How about the hunch back fairy from JACK FROST because she’ll always have the upper hand?

    The Michael Palin impersonators could make up her cabinet.

       2 likes

  24. The Might Untrained FOOZLE says:

    Magicvoice:
    Hugo/Vorelli – 2016!

    …but I dread the eventual outlawing of ham.

       2 likes

  25. Erich says:

    Why, Jeff “Let’s Go All The Way” Knight, of course.

       0 likes

  26. Cameron Bane says:

    Beth Rowe from The Skydivers. She looks quite fetching in her baggy coveralls, and her helmet hair would deflect any assassin’s bullet.

    For VP my pick would be coffee guy Joe Moss, from the same movie. Moss is simple but nice, gosh darn it, and his love for the brewed bean would win us undying affection from Third World countries.

    Suzy Belmont would be Secretary of Defense. With such a hard and stern countenance, no foreign power would try a thing. She’d eat their livers with siracha sauce.

       2 likes

  27. PabstTallBoy says:

    MikeK:
    The Phantom of Krankor. He will always get his way as he upsets leaders of other nations with his area. He also understands the value of having intelligent scientists make important decisions for the country, so he’s sure to appoint the best people in government positions.

    And if that doesn’t work, there’s always “Aw for crying out loud. EACH. OF. YOU. WILL. ENTER. A. CAPSULE…”

       3 likes

  28. cvbwe says:

    John Carradine from the Unearthly. “I need nothing that I do not WISH to need!” sounds like it could clean up as a line in a debate.

       2 likes

  29. Gare.Chicago says:

    I second Ilya Mourametz. He has a proven track record of dispensing with blow-hards, and he’ll dispense his wisdom while wearing oven mitts.

    His First Lady, Vilya, would solve any food shortage issue with her woodland-creature inspired Magic Tablecloths.

    And his Running Mate would be Little Falcon, who would never bring dis-honour to the office. (Unless he did bring dis-honour by trading the Vice-Presidency for a lid and getting high in the White House).

    Secretariat of State would of course be Chestnut Grey – brought to you by the Chevy Suburban.

    Ilya/Falcon 2016 – Dragon Sandwiches for all!

    Gare

       2 likes

  30. Johnny's nonchalance says:

    Peter Graves!

    (for biography)

    Although preferably the grasshopper/pickle monster stomping Peter and not the twisted Senator Peter.

       1 likes

  31. Ray Dunakin says:

    Gumby’s dad, Gumbo, would be a cool President! He goes to work starkers, he has internal genitalia, he drives his own firetruck, and best of all you can throw things through him.

       3 likes

  32. Ray Dunakin says:

    Stoneman:
    Finally, Easy Rider and Buffalo Bill. Evil doers of the world, watch your mudflaps!

    Easy Rider, aka Sam Casey from “Riding with Death” would appeal to voters who want transparency in government.

       5 likes

  33. Fart Bargo says:

    Dan @73

    Great nomination. I would love to see the White House with chicken legs.

       1 likes

  34. Steve Vil says:

    The teacher from Angel’s Revenge would make a good president if only she were better organized…

       1 likes

  35. Gary says:

    Rowsdower/Torgo 2016!

       3 likes

  36. Into The Void says:

    I’m rollin’ in late for this one…

    Krankor!!! (crank whore)

    No, I’d never vote for him, nor ANY rightwinger (Krankor would only come to power via the Deep State military coup) but I chose Krankor, if for any reason, I’d always suspected that Krankor’s annoying, albeit comical, ha-ha-ha laugh must be quite similar to fascist, Dick Cheney’s …as in, I could imagine that awful cackle would be the final thing the modern world would hear broadcast over the corp/state propaganda dispensaries just before we all go out in a blinding white hydrogen bomb flash (ha, am I being too dark?)

    Go BERNIE 2016!!!

       3 likes

  37. cvbwe says:

    @86
    you silly billy
    chickens have left AND right wings!

       2 likes

  38. Who would I actually vote for if I could?
    Hell, that’s easy: that Kobras guy from Puma Man... because I think things need to get worse before they get better.

    “World, get used to being ruled by Donald Pleasance!”
    –Michael J. Nelson

       1 likes

  39. Mr. E says:

    What about Gamera? He’s for the children…

       2 likes

  40. robot rump!:
    on second thought…
    MEGAWEAPON! MEGAWEAPON! MEGAWEAPON!
    Sure he’s ‘hell on wheels’ and no one’s gonna mess with him but he should get your vote for just crushing that damn talking crotch rocket!

    Y’know, I could be totally down with that, except I think the Constitution prevents huge-ass flame-spewing monster dump trucks from holding the Presidency. Also, the Constitution requires that the President be a natural-born American citizen, and Megaweapon is Italian, as I recall.

       1 likes

  41. Mibbitmaker:
    The only problem with Coleman Francis (the ONLY one?) is that, with his economic policy in place, most people’s life savings will be whittled down to a penny and a broken cigarette.

    Seriously, man. We might as well vote for Frankie and Suzy.

       1 likes

  42. Ro-man:
    Cleolanta from the Rocky Jones films. Of course she’d trample all over the constitution and become a dictatorial suzerain but…. hubba hubba.

    I’m sorry, but she’s got to be the most ineffectual, lame excuse for a tyrannical overlord ever seen on MST3K. Her flunkie is always blowing her off, she lets Rocky Jones jerk her chain all the time… that’s why I went with Kobras.

       0 likes

  43. cvbwe:
    John Carradine from the Unearthly. “I need nothing that I do not WISH to need!” sounds like it could clean up as a line in a debate.

    …not to mention his opponent in the debate would crumble as Carradine belted out the phrase “therevealwaysbeensomenecessarysacrifices”.

       0 likes

  44. Ro-man:
    I also could see Glen, the Amazing Collossal Man, as a huge presence in the race.I think he would stand head and shoulders above his opponents, and would certainly raise the level of political discourse.Plus he’d bring a new perspective to the issues, and is someone that everyone, regardless of party affiliation, could look up to.

    Watch it there, bud. Lame-ass puns like that will get your arm torn off.

       0 likes

  45. Mary Arline says:

    I would vote for Claire Anderson (Beverly Garland) from “It Conquered the World.” She may well be the smartest and most competent character from any MST-ed movie.

    Another good candidate/possible running mate would be Dr. Paul Nelson (Peter Graves) from the same movie. Anyone holding high office would do well to remember that man is a feeling creature, etc.

       4 likes

  46. Brock Lee Rubberband says:

    The logical choice has to be Teenager From Outer Space – Derek. He cares deeply about the human condition and the planet. He’s also dreamy,well read and a universal traveller. As president he will make sure our country does not practice ~ TORTURE!!

    It all goes downhill here…

    He cheats on first lady Betty with blonde bombshell Silver Morgan. Silver mysteriously drives off a cliff one night and dies.

    His controversial cabinet nominees rankle feathers

    Vice President Wild Rebel Fats = impeachment insurance
    Secretary Of State Tor Johnson’s heavy-handedness makes few friends
    Treasury Secretary Diabolik heads a precipitous rise in the national debt.
    Secretary of Defense Star Wolf Captain Joe is found wandering naked on the National Mall after yet another bender
    Attorney General Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III (pronounced He-ron-e-mo) has a massive coronary 5 minutes into the job

       3 likes

  47. MaxKeller says:

    Trumpy 2016.

       0 likes

  48. Iok says:

    Mr. E(#89): What about Gamera? He’s for the children…

    Gamera gets my vote too, because Turtle!
    Not only is he a fierce and loving protector of children, but he clearly understands that actions speak louder than words, and he is all action and no words.
    Plus he can fly and breath fire, his shell is super tough, he is an accomplished acrobat, and he has a great theme song.

    Gamera is really neat!
    He is filled with turtle meat!
    We all love you, Gamera!

       0 likes

  49. Fritz of Mars says:

    I would have to cast my vote for Hercules. Big Allen Steel brings it home in “Hercules conquers the Communists”. Herc has everything it takes to win over the people of this great land, Brains, brawn, bronzer, and is he handsome! The big guy can lash out at his adversaries with such catch phrases as: “Come back with the American people’s arrow”, and “Its time for my opponent to shave his head and work his way north”, and “The american people will not be threatened by tiny Trans-America buildings while I am their President”. So vote for the guy who will save the world and get the girl, Hercules! “…and no, we don’t have silver fish down here” is responsible for this promotion. Not affiliated with Hercules or big Allen Steel.

       0 likes

  50. Dave Robbins says:

    RedZoneTuba:
    Maybe we’re overlooking the obvious: Dr. F & running-mate TV’s Frank

    “Fabulous Fighters for Freedom!Forrester & Frank in 2016”

    And when it comes time to launch the big ones, who better to give the order to “Push the button, Frank”?

    The more I think about this the more I love it. Government sponsored experiments every day, and we are all Joel Robinson.
    Does everyone get a couple of riffing robots?

       1 likes

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