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Weekend Discussion Thread: Alternate Endings

I feel like we did this, but I searched and couldn’t find anything.

So let’s go with Rick’s suggestion:

In “Girl in lovers lane” Crow and Servo suggest an alternate ending. My girlfriend suggests that many MST movies lend themselves to alternate endings.
For instance, in Devil Doll, would it have not been ironic after Hugo and Vorelli soul switch that Hugo, now fully transferred into Vorelli, would be arrested (as Vorelli) for the Butt Lady’s murder?


I’d suggest a darker ending to “Robot Holocaust” — just when everybody thinks it’s all over — cut to Torg … whose eyes light up.

Your suggestion?

73 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Alternate Endings”

  1. EricJ says:

    David Mello:
    Project Moonbase:Briteis dumps Bill for Kemp from Moon Zero Two. That’s what happens when the Moon gets more residents.

    No, actually we discover that Moon Zero-Two has been bought out by…the US and Russian astronaut from the cartoon titles, who decided to work together and came back to clean up some profit.


  2. [the Original] Stan McSerr, Destroyer of Worlds says:

    Hamlet and Laertes don’t stab each other and instead realize they have much in common. They decide to move to New York City and share a loft apartment. Unfortunately, they get stopped at Kennedy and the TSA find the skull of Yorick in Hamlet’s suitcase. Hamlet attempts to flee, but stumbles and begins a soliloquy and is easily captured. Hamlet is deported back to Denmark, where he opens a barbecue restaurant named Hamlet’s. Laertes dissolves in the populous of New York and never heard from.


  3. M. Thibault says:

    For the ending of 1010-IT Lives By Night, bat Kathy joins bat Dr Beck and they run off together, hand-in-hand, further into the cave only to fall into the same hole this whole thing started in. Unable to climb out, the camera slowly drifts out to the cave entrance and we see the sign “closed for the season”.


  4. mthead says:

    I have postulated an ending to Time Chasers where Bob Evil and Chin Boy keep trying to go farther back in time than the other guy until finally they are fighting it out in the pre-earth vacuum of space.


  5. David Mello says:

    Radar Secret Service: One of the agents mentions he needs radar to check up on the girlfriend he apparently doesn’t trust. Then she barges into the office and yells, “OK, who’s Marge??” RADAR!

    Invasion of the Neptune Men: They finally find that missing record, right near the Hitler Building


  6. MarcusVermilion says:

    “The Incredible Melting Man”: Ted Nelson isn’t shot dead at the end of the film. He goes home and soon becomes a first time daddy……….But the kitchen still has no crackers for the soup!


  7. EAG46 says:

    Skydivers: Beth decides to stay in town and keep running the skydiving school, after paying off all the creditors with Harry’s unexpectedly huge insurance policies. She decides to focus more on the nighttime jumps and the parties before it, which become a major success. Joe sticks around and lives in sin with Beth, but the town figures she’s entitled to some fun and few raise a fuss.


  8. Bat Masterson says:

    I have two for your consideration:

    Overdrawn at the Memory Bank: The Chairman leads an anteater rebellion which leads to anteaters becoming the dominant species, he stages hostile takeover of Novicorp and Fingal is demoted to his original job, has his wages garnished to pay for the damages caused by his actions in the computer, and is eventually fired after Felicia and Apollonia file harassment complaints against him. The “Is it sexy?” kid is suspended.

    Girl in Gold Boots: Upon discovering Critter’ s, um, unique musical talents the Defense Department uses his music as an interrogation technique against the Viet Cong. After retiring from the military Critter buys the Haunted House, attendance steadily declines as he includes Michelle and himself in all the acts. Michelle’s dad joins AA, turns Eat into a profitable enterprise and starts a chain of Eats that eventually encompass every U.S. state and 22 foreign countries. Upon his death, Michelle, takes over, and the business prospers more. Critter is named Vice-Presudent and opens the first franchise in Nepal.


  9. goalieboy82 says:

    its not going to happen this year:


  10. trickymutha says:

    It Conquered the World- The inverted ice cream cone learned in time that Man is a feeling creature. This prevents Peter Graves soliloquy, and Corman pads the film out with several walking sequences while the Creature gets bored and goes back to Venus.


  11. GodzillavsMegalon says:

    At the end of “Boggy Creek II: The Legend Continues”, Crewshaw goes off any marries the Creature.


  12. Trumpy's Dad says:

    In Why Don’t They Look, maybe just in time they decide to look before crossing the railroad tracks.


  13. goalieboy82 says:

    Torque the Dorque:

    “but there was a monster…”

    but there was a monster, but then there wasn’t however.


  14. Ray Dunakin says:

    In “Sidehackers”, instead of insulting the girlfriend of the dangerously unstable JC, Rommel politely turns her down, assuring her that it’s nothing personal, he’s just already in a relationship. As a result, she doesn’t get so pissed off and doesn’t try to frame Rommel for rape. JC and his gang of losers move on, Rommel and Rita get married, and they live happily ever after. Eventually, JC cleans up his act a little and becomes sheriff of a small desert town near a cave full of bats.


  15. Ray Dunakin says:

    In “First Spaceship On Venus”, after finding the “cosmic document” and deciding that it came from Venus, someone says that they should immediately send an international crew on a mission to the planet. The plan is to bring along the document and have their top guy work on a translation during the voyage.

    But the plan is shot down when an actual smart person points out how stupid it is to fly off to Venus without even knowing what’s on the document. Instead, they wait until the document is translated, discover the Venusians were planning a genecidal invasion, and the whole idea of flying to Venus is scrapped and replaced with a project to build defensive weapons so Earth won’t be caught off-guard if the Venusians ever return.


  16. Ray Dunakin says:

    “The Day the Earth Froze”

    Alternative ending #1:

    Lemminkainen tells Anakki and Ilmarinen that he intends to go back alone to retrieve the Sampo. But Ilmarinen stops him before he can dive overboard, and convinces him it would be much wiser to wait until they can discuss it with the village elder, as well as getting reinforcements.

    Upon arriving in the village, they immediately seek council with the elder, who tells them that he knows the secret weakness of the witch’s minions — droning harp music. So they knock out a bunch of harps and set sail for the land of the evil witch. When they reach her shores, she sends out her trolls to attack them, but the trolls are quickly put into a coma by the harp music. Then they dispatch the witch and rescue both Anikki and the Sampo.

    Alternative ending #2:

    Instead of performing the tasks she demands of them, Lemminkainen puts an arrow through the witch on their first encounter, thus putting a quick end to the whole sordid mess.


  17. trickymutha says:

    At end of Girl in Gold Boots- Banjo from Wild Rebels appears on the beach shouting- “THOSE BOOTS BUG ME, THEY REALLY BUG ME.” Staring in disbelief, Critter and Michelle go find out where the fish lives.


  18. Ray Dunakin says:

    After Mitchell shoots Edmundo Bocca in the back for no apparent reason, he is tossed off the police force and charged with murder. There were multiple witnesses, including the influential owner of a local port facility, so the jury has no trouble finding Mitchell guilty. He is sentenced to death. Luckily for Mitchell, this is California, so he lives to a ripe old age on the taxpayer’s dime, while his court-appointed attorneys get rich filing one baseless appeal after another.


  19. Ray Dunakin says:

    While trying to help the police solve the murder of Renee Caldwell, Henry Krasker is shocked when his wadded-up-aluminum-foil “radio receiver” for talking to the dead actually works and begins receiving messages from the afterlife. In fact, he is so terrified by this that he wets himself. The urine shorts out his equipment, electrocuting him and destroying his receiver.

    Ironically, after spending most of his life trying to communicate with the dead, Krasker now spends eternity trying to find some way to communicate with the living.


  20. Ray Dunakin says:

    Glen Manning races across the desert, trying to reach a crashed airplane. Suddenly he bumps into Joseph Javorsky, noted scientist, who is fleeing Soviet hit men. Just then, the nuke goes off, subjecting them both to intense heat and radiation. Both men are killed instantly, bringing two separate movies to a premature, yet merciful, conclusion. The audiences live happily ever after.


  21. Gare.Chicago says:

    Pod People:

    Somehow, against all odds, common sense, and human decency – Trumpy is elected president.

    Hilarity ensues. The movie is turned into a sitcom, “That’s My Trumpy!”, but it is mercifully cancelled after just four seasons.



  22. goalieboy82 says:

    off topic, but how many jokes did they make on him:
    “Hi Boys and Girls, I’m Jimmy Carl Black, and I’m the Indian of the group.”


  23. Torgo"s Pizza-NJ says:

    ROBOT HOLOCAUST: Valaria meets and marries a billionaire Real Estate developer and lives happily ever after.


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