Support Us

Satellite News is not financially supported by Best Brains or any other entity. It is a labor of love, paid for out of our own pockets. If you value this site, we would be delighted if you showed it by making an occasional donation of any amount. Thanks.

Sampo & Erhardt

Sci-Fi Archives


Visit our archives of the MST3K pages previously hosted by the Sci-Fi Channel's SCIFI.COM.

Goodbye Sci-Fi

Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett reflect on MST3K's final broadcast.

Social Media


All Classic Episodes Ranked

Jim Vorel at Paste Magazine has undertaken that herculean task of ranking every classic MST3K episode. I certainly don’t agree with all the rankings (I’m guessing nobody but Jim will) but I raise a glass to his noble effort. Check it out here.

35 Replies to “All Classic Episodes Ranked”

  1. Jay says:

    Is anyone else having trouble viewing this site? It keeps crashing with a “problem” message.

       6 likes

  2. Anonymous says:

    Jay:
    Is anyone else having trouble viewing this site?It keeps crashing with a “problem” message.

    Affirmative. Not just you. Site not load. They go hell.

       3 likes

  3. Privateiron says:

    I was surprised that my relatively unlikely number one made it as high as Number 12 on his list. But yeah, it’s a given that nobody will come close to agreeing with someone else’s list.

       4 likes

  4. EricJ says:

    I read the headline and thought “LEMME guess…Space Mutiny at #1, right?”

    Why, no, how silly of me: Space Mutiny was at #2. Final Sacrifice was at #1.

       2 likes

  5. Jay says:

    Jay:
    Is anyone else having trouble viewing this site?It keeps crashing with a “problem” message.

    I went directly to the Paste website and had almost no problems.

       6 likes

  6. fatbarkeep says:

    Opinions are… yadda yadda yadda…
    My favorite episode of MST3K is and will always be “The Girl in Lover’s Lane.” Almost every riff is a continuation of one of the lines from the movie. It just flows so hilariously for my funny bone.
    And Elam…
    “Come on drifter, drift!”
    Just saying…

       5 likes

  7. Ian L. says:

    Can’t argue with #1, despite how obvious a choice it is. It still gets me all giddy.

    I wouldn’t put “Cave Dwellers” that high, but I do agree that “Pod People” was the first truly good episode.

    And I’m glad he highlighted “The Brute Man”- I agree, an underrated episode.

       2 likes

  8. fireballil says:

    I was surprised that my favorite episode, The Rebel Set, was at 43. I thought it would be lower since not many other people think it’s so good.

       2 likes

  9. Torgo's Pizza-NJ says:

    My favs were Manos, Amazing Colossal Man. & Brain That Wouldn’t Die. I thought most of the 50’s juvenile delinquent movies were above average. The Worst may’ve been Ring of Terror, which ran the fat jokes into the ground. The Coleman Francis movies were so uninteresting, they were often a chore to get through. Sometimes a movie (or the riffs) were drab, but the Host segments were strong (I.e. Last of the Wild Horses) or vice versa, so, it’s tough to rank. I agree with those that thought the SCI-FI era host segments were usually not as strong. But I’ve never seen an episode I wouldn’t watch a second time.

       0 likes

  10. Ray Dunakin says:

    Interesting. Personally, I would not have put Red Zone Cuba so low on the list.

       7 likes

  11. Matt Midgette says:

    I have always thought the Coleman Francis trilogy was some of the Brains best work. I bailed after all three of them were ranked so low.

    Coffee?

       10 likes

  12. BIG61AL says:

    I had problem also with this page. I was able to scroll down once into the ratings until the page froze for about the 20th time…I will try again today.

       1 likes

  13. BIG61AL says:

    nope…the page won’t even open.

       1 likes

  14. MikeK says:

    I wouldn’t rank Red Zone Cuba so low. And if the episode is bad why not mention the weak host segments too?

       0 likes

  15. Erik says:

    Yeah this list is all over the place. How can movies like The Unearthly, Kitten With a Whip, and Radar Secret Service be so highly ranked? How could Red Zone Cuba be the third worst episode?

       2 likes

  16. Johnny's nonchalance says:

    Sampo’s theorem applies.

    I admire the effort, but anything as subjective as episode preference will never be definitive. I ranked my top 100 episodes, including KTMA, but not the movie. I figure my top 50 episodes I could watch at any time, over and over, and not get tired of. Episodes 51 to 100 are generally enjoyable in moderation and when the mood strikes. The remainder are generally too dull to keep my interest. The bulk of season 1 is at the bottom of my list, along with Mighty Jack and Fu-Manchu. The reviewer also gives a boost to movies with good shorts. My list makes no such concession. For example, I love X Marks the Spot and Crow’s “am I qualified” host segment. I also love Joel’s insane lemur sketch. However, King Dinosaur is so mind numbingly dull I can’t bring myself to put it in my top 100. The reviewer also ranked a few episodes way too low, notably Tormented, Sidehackers, and a few of the season 1 gems.

    My own Top 100

    1 301- CAVE DWELLERS
    2 303- POD PEOPLE
    3 506- EEGAH!
    4 810- THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION
    5 910- THE FINAL SACRIFICE
    6 202- THE SIDEHACKERS
    7 821- TIME CHASERS
    8 820- SPACE MUTINY
    9 507- I ACCUSE MY PARENTS with short: THE TRUCK FARMER
    10 1012- SQUIRM with short: A CASE OF SPRING FEVER
    11 904- WEREWOLF
    12 310- FUGITIVE ALIEN
    13 110- ROBOT HOLOCAUST with short: COMMANDO CODY PT 9 (partial)
    14 421- MONSTER A-GO-GO with short: CIRCUS ON ICE
    15 509- GIRL IN LOVER’S LANE
    16 1008- FINAL JUSTICE
    17 111- MOON ZERO TWO
    18 601- GIRLS TOWN
    19 306- TIME OF THE APES
    20 414- TORMENTED
    21 822- OVERDRAWN AT THE MEMORY BANK
    22 812- THE INCREDIBLY STRANGE CREATURES WHO STOPPED LIVING AND BECAME MIXED-UP ZOMBIES
    23 818- DEVIL DOLL
    24 903- PUMA MAN
    25 814- RIDING WITH DEATH
    26 501- WARRIOR OF THE LOST WORLD
    27 604- ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE
    28 512- MITCHELL
    29 1002- THE GIRL IN GOLD BOOTS
    30 106- THE CRAWLING HAND
    31 516- ALIEN FROM L.A.
    32 1006- BOGGY CREEK II
    33 402- THE GIANT GILA MONSTER
    34 207- WILD REBELS
    35 619- RED ZONE CUBA with short: SPEECH
    36 112- UNTAMED YOUTH
    37 209- THE HELLCATS
    38 405- BEING FROM ANOTHER PLANET
    39 309- THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN
    40 K13- SST DEATH FLIGHT
    41 706- LASERBLAST
    42 703- DEATHSTALKER AND THE WARRIORS FROM HELL
    43 404- TEENAGERS FROM OUTER SPACE
    44 415- THE BEATNIKS with short: GENERAL HOSPITAL PT 2
    45 815- AGENT FOR H.A.R.M.
    46 817- HORROR OF PARTY BEACH
    47 1001- SOULTAKER
    48 913- QUEST OF THE DELTA KNIGHTS
    49 905- THE DEADLY BEES
    50 901- THE PROJECTED MAN

    51 1003- MERLIN’S SHOP OF MYSTICAL WONDERS
    52 311- IT CONQUERED THE WORLD with short: SNOW THRILLS
    53 419- THE REBEL SET with short: JOHNNY AT THE FAIR
    54 802- THE LEECH WOMAN
    55 418- ATTACK OF THE THE EYE CREATURES
    56 424- “MANOS”: THE HANDS OF FATE with short: HIRED! PT 2
    57 513- THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN’T DIE
    58 805- THE THING THAT COULDN’T DIE
    59 902- PHANTOM PLANET
    60 804- THE DEADLY MANTIS
    61 514- TEEN-AGE STRANGLER with short: IS THIS LOVE?
    62 609- THE SKY DIVERS with short: WHY STUDY THE INDUSTRIAL ARTS?
    63 318- STAR FORCE – FUGITIVE ALIEN II
    64 315- TEENAGE CAVEMAN with shorts: AQUATIC WIZARDS and CATCHING TROUBLE
    65 317- VIKING WOMEN VS. THE SEA SERPENT with short: THE HOME ECONOMICS STORY
    66 322- MASTER NINJA I
    67 K20- THE LAST CHASE
    68 307- DADDY-O with short: ALPHABET ANTICS
    69 204- CATALINA CAPER
    70 313- EARTH VS. THE SPIDER with short: USING YOUR VOICE
    71 319- WAR OF THE COLOSSAL BEAST with short: MR. B. NATURAL
    72 K09- PHASE IV
    73 1005- BLOOD WATERS OF DR. Z
    74 312- GAMERA VS. GUIRON
    75 618- HIGH SCHOOL BIG SHOT with short: OUT OF THIS WORLD
    76 603- THE DEAD TALK BACK with short: THE SELLING WIZARD
    77 602- INVASION U.S.A. with short: A DATE WITH YOUR FAMILY
    78 621- THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS with shorts: MONEY TALKS! and PROGRESS ISLAND, U.S.A.
    79 212- GODZILLA VS. MEGALON
    80 K19- HANGAR 18
    81 321- SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS
    82 324- MASTER NINJA II
    83 517- THE BEGINNING OF THE END
    84 518- THE ATOMIC BRAIN with short: WHAT ABOUT JUVENILE DELINQUENCY?
    85 401- SPACE TRAVELERS
    86 305- STRANDED IN SPACE
    87 811- “PARTS”: THE CLONUS HORROR
    88 406- ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES with short: UNDERSEA KINGDOM PT 1
    89 813- JACK FROST
    90 407- THE KILLER SHREWS with short: JUNIOR RODEO DAREDEVILS
    91 1004- FUTURE WAR
    92 908- THE TOUCH OF SATAN
    93 612- THE STARFIGHTERS
    94 K16- CITY ON FIRE
    95 302- GAMERA
    96 411- THE MAGIC SWORD
    97 907- HOBGOBLINS
    98 420- THE HUMAN DUPLICATORS
    99 211- FIRST SPACESHIP ON VENUS
    100 510- THE PAINTED HILLS with short: BODY CARE AND GROOMING

       5 likes

  17. crowschmo says:

    Dear LORD! I can’t read all THAT!

       5 likes

  18. bartcow says:

    I agree that Red Zone Cuba is a chore to get through. It’s just so Depressing (all the endless firing squad scenes–and that’s before we get to the whole repugnant old-man-down-a-well-daughter-rape bit.

    But anyway, yes, I don’t agree with the rankings (shocking!), but I do agree that some Season 1 movies would have been perfect fodder for later seasons when the riffing was stronger and more dense. Moon Zero Two, Robot Holocaust, Black Scorpion, and even the foggy Slime People would have made for potentially legendary season 4/5/6 episodes. (Don’t get me wrong, they’re perfectly enjoyable as is.)

    Have we already done that as a weekend discussion thread?

       3 likes

  19. littleaimishboy says:

    Johnny’s nonchalance:

    I also love Joel’s insane lemur sketch.

    YES!!!

       1 likes

  20. MikeK says:

    That website’s loading problems remind me of ye olde 56k days.

       1 likes

  21. hellokittee says:

    @16 (and Sampo!) I also thought of Sampo’s Theorem while reading the Paste list. I disagreed with a lot of it, but I applaud the author for that massive undertaking!

       5 likes

  22. bchat says:

    I got part way through the article, checking out the bottom & top 50 picks, before I realized that maybe the guy wasn’t saying specifically that the bottom of his list were the “worst episodes”, they were simply too far away from his number one. It’s become clear to me over the years that my own “top ten” (Diabolik, Prince of Space, Invasion of the Neptune Men, Pumaman, Horror of Party Beach, Catalina Caper, Bloodlust, Final Sacrifice, The Incredibly Strange Creatures and Riding with Death) contains episodes that wouldn’t make some people’s “top 100”. It’s not that I think those ten movies are so much more awesome than all the other episodes, because they’re all good, and even just picking ten to single out here took more thought than I’d have liked. And that’s what I took away from that guy’s list, that he’s just putting the episodes into some sort of order.

       4 likes

  23. Torgo's Pajamas says:

    First, @16 Johnny’s nonchalance: I can recommend a therapist if you need some help. We are all here for you, guy (an honest assumption based on your “name”).

    Second, @16 Johnny’s n.: JK, all in good fun.

    Third, I think the author did a good job, actually. Not my list, but a fun read and a good effort. It seems consistent in terms of his humor at least. I mean, it is, after all, just a show, so we should all just relax. And at a minimum, a good point of discussion for the likes of @16 Johnny’s n. and folks like me looking for an excuse to revisit an underappreciated (or is it?) episode or two.

       3 likes

  24. Richard the Lion-Footed says:

    I am sorry but I cannot agree with any of the rankings of this list.
    I understand that no two Misties will agree on anything but come on now, Moon Zero Two at 166 and Mighty Jack, over all one of the funniest episodes, at 171 ??

    I could agree with Jim’s methodology perhaps except he has episode 515, Wild, Wild World of Batwoman, at 109 and that is the worst episode, by ANY definition, in the series. I actually felt sorry for everyone who had to watch this and try to come up with riffs.

    Top ten lists are usually interchangeable and I can usually see why a fan chose how they did. Not here however. Brute man was number 10 but Catalina Caper at 119 ?? 12 to the moon beat out Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and Jim really thinks Puma Man was better than Riding With Death ?

    Come on Jim, I’ll trade any of your top ten for Jack Frost, Eegah!, Prince of Space or The Magic Voyage of Sinbad, which you did not even put in the top 50.

    Good grief.

       1 likes

  25. Louisville Slugger says:

    A fun read . . . my main disagreement would be that I got immense joy out of the Coleman Francis trilogy. Otherwise, I’d be nitpicking. For what it’s worth, Werewolf is my # 1, just for rewatchability.

       8 likes

  26. Kenneth Morgan says:

    I tried using the direct link to the list, but it took forever to load and it kept locking up. That’s because it linked to the complete list. You could try going first to the website’s homepage, then going to the list. That puts the list up in segments and it loads much easier.

    As for the rankings, I don’t agree with all of them, but that’s OK. Opinions may vary, after all.

       1 likes

  27. GregS says:

    Yeah; one of my top 5 favorites in his bottom 5. I didn’t even wait for the rest of the page to load…

       1 likes

  28. Kansas says:

    fireballil: I was surprised that my favorite episode, The Rebel Set, was at 43. I thought it would be lower since not many other people think it’s so good.

    You can’t go wrong with the Chief from Get Smart killing the laugh children, laugh guy from Giant Gila Monster.

       1 likes

  29. new cornjob says:

    well, it was a fun read over a couple of days! no denying much disagreement on a number of items, but i still haven’t “memory-ized” so many mike eps; for that matter, there’s still some joels i don’t know like the back of my hand… so, it’s tough to criticize. obviously a terrific effort went into the writing of that piece!

       0 likes

  30. Jay says:

    Rankings, schmankings! I just enjoyed reading the brief reviews and especially enjoyed the short clips. It was kind of like going to an MST3K dim sum restaurant and selecting from the many delicacies.

       8 likes

  31. Cam says:

    I’m just not at this particular level of being a fan (yet).

    I like all the episodes so much that I can’t really rate them. And I’ve noticed my own “favorites” shift in and out of preference.

    But I really hate Adam-12.

       2 likes

  32. GizmonicTemp says:

    Nice! God bless all those who have taken the time to rank all 176 classic episodes. (Dramatic pause). Click on “GizmonicTemp” for my rankings, and for that matter, yours too!

       1 likes

  33. Molly Ringworm says:

    Richard the Lion-Footed:

    I could agree with Jim’s methodology perhaps except he has episode 515, Wild, Wild World of Batwoman, at 109 and that is the worst episode, by ANY definition, in the series. I actually felt sorry for everyone who had to watch this and try to come up with riffs.

    By ANY definition? That’s funny, it’s in my Top 10. Maybe I was dropped on my head as a child, but I think it’s one of the funniest out there.

       3 likes

  34. GizmonicTemp:
    Nice! God bless all those who have taken the time to rank all 176 classic episodes. (Dramatic pause). Click on “GizmonicTemp” for my rankings, and for that matter, yours too!

    You seem to be missing 21 episodes, including my favorite…

       0 likes

  35. Cam says:

    Molly Ringworm: By ANY definition? That’s funny, it’s in my Top 10. Maybe I was dropped on my head as a child, but I think it’s one of the funniest out there.

    It’s a classic as far as I’m concerned and is worth watching repeatedly – if for no other reason than Bat Woman’s voluptuous presence.

    I only wish it had been filmed in color so that I could more fully appreciate the spectacle and skin tones.

       2 likes

Comments are closed.