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Weekend Discussion Thread: Your Favorite Misheard/Misread Line

Alert regular MSTie suggests:

Best/Worst/Most Confusing misheard/misread/misunderstand line of dialog (sometimes known as a Mondegreen).
Without a doubt, the “Idiot Control Now” song in Pod People is one giant Mondegreen.

Many of these come from bad sound or out of focus visuals.
One of my favorites, from early in “Warrior of the Lost World,” is when Joel decides a title card says “All the gummy mints have colitis.”

What’s your favorite?

And PLEASE keep sending those topic suggestions!

104 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Your Favorite Misheard/Misread Line”

  1. Jay says:

    My Cheese Steak –

    The Hercules movie where the traditional Italian hero Maciste is renamed Mycheesesteak. Kinda makes you hungry, eh?

       14 likes

  2. Louisville Slugger says:

    “Big Stupid” from the Girl in Lover’s Lane springs to mind.

       21 likes

  3. Apollonia James (yeah, right) says:

    So many to choose from! This kind of riff always makes me laugh no matter how many times I’ve heard it…
    “Beautiful steamed weeds?”
    “Big Stupid?”
    “The Minister of Hell?”
    “The Roji-panty complex”
    I think my two absolute favorites are from Killer Shrews (“Livestock.” “Life sucks, huh?”) and Night of the Blood Beast (“Snarf farms?!”). Just typing them out made me giggle.

       13 likes

  4. Dr Strangepork says:

    Either “Corn Job” in Gamera Vs. Guiron or “Pig Sticker” from Hobgoblins. There are too many to mention but these get me every time.

       13 likes

  5. Laura says:

    My personal fave is from “Overdrawn at the Memory Bank” when Fingal “says” “My nuts” to seeing his long-dead mom. I still hear that every time I see it. :laugh:

       25 likes

  6. Green Switch says:

    In Escape 2000, they mishear the name Dablone as “Toblerone”, and we become better people for the mistake.

       22 likes

  7. DarkGrandmaofDeath says:

    “Are those the bras that fit us?” The idea of Jack Palance muttering that to Peter Lawford gets an extra little snicker from me.

       10 likes

  8. David Mello says:

    and The Beast of Yucca Flats: Joseph Javorski, noted scientist
    Mike: Melted Scientist?

       10 likes

  9. Son of Peanut says:

    Boggy Creek II: “Food for a fistful of rats.”

    Werewolf: “I’m very concerned about your wallaby.”

    Red Zone Cuba: “His green pants meant a lot to him.”

       15 likes

  10. Gobi says:

    Tonight is dedicated to Uranus.

       8 likes

  11. Droppo says:

    The scene in Master Ninja II when Max is running and saying totally indecipherable phrases. Servo starts translating them into hilarious non-sensical phrases, but, my favorite moment is when Joel can’t contain a genuine laugh and simply says, “what?”

       13 likes

  12. Jay says:

    Jet Jaguar Song –

    I wonder if anybody ever translated the MST lyrics into Japanese.

       12 likes

  13. Not QUITE a “misheard” line, but there’s this moment from ‘A Touch of Satan’:

    Farmer: “My drink has a special ingredient…. I put my peanuts in it.”

    Crow: “I sure hope he said ‘peanuts’.”

       20 likes

  14. ck says:

    Just be sure to always get your Schick out of shape.

    And a suggestion for future topics: In some of the letters the age and name of the writer is included. How about speculative histories on the writers history since then. For example, there was a 10 year old writer writer and drawer in a Season 2 episode, would now be in mid-thirties.
    Sort of like the bots speculative history of the hero during credits to Soultaker.

       7 likes

  15. Sitting Duck says:

    Somewhat related, lines you personally misheard (extra credit if they still make sense in context). In the, “To Earth!” host segment from Diabolik, when Gypsy said that Crow had wedged himself under the desk, I thought she said that he had wet himself under the desk.

       6 likes

  16. Stoneman says:

    Another one from “Angels Revenge”: When one of the characters says something about “the turret gun”, and Tom Servo questions “The turd gun?”

       10 likes

  17. GodzillaVsMegalon says:

    Gotta include “Night of the Blood Beast” where EVERYONE is named Steve.

       10 likes

  18. From The Thing that Couldn’t Die; all the names for Aunt Flavia. Including Aunt Coolio, Aunt Caligula, Aunt Spatula, etc……

       9 likes

  19. John Hanna says:

    In ‘The Painted Hills’, Mike and the bots called the one character “Pile-On Pete”, until during the end credits where they find out it was “Pilot Pete” the whole time.

       14 likes

  20. MSTie says:

    Thanks for using my WDT idea, Sampo. I know I throw a lot at you and that they’re not always usable, so I get a nerdy thrill when you do pick one.

    While “Idiot Control Now” is indeed my fave MST mondegreen, a special mumble goes out to “New England journalists!” in Riding with Death. As I’ve mentioned before, I obsessively parsed it and believe ol’ Buffalo Bill is saying “You act like you’re enjoying this!” but it mushily comes out as “Yew ek-lek ‘jering-this!”

       6 likes

  21. Kansas says:

    Shoot first; ask questions later.

    Shoot first; ask Christian Slater?

       14 likes

  22. Charlie says:

    From Red Zone Cuba, they call one of the soldiers “Justine”. Then later on, Tom remarks how the Cubans in the movie sound like the grown-ups on Peanuts, which prompts doing the Wah Wah sound as a riff.

       6 likes

  23. Dr. Erickson says:

    “Get the hardness out.” – Devil Fish

    Oh and, “Well if Jump Jugs wants a he-to-hurl, maybe we should.” – Delta Knights

       14 likes

  24. Kenotic says:

    Look Polish, everyone!

    Also for Rifftrax: Every time Solar Panels are in the news it takes a lot of strength to not pronounce it as “SrlPanls.” For those not who haven’t checked it out yet, Birdemic is a treasure trove of mumbled lines, blown cues, and dirty feet.

       7 likes

  25. ServoTron3000 says:

    She’s gonna drop shorts on the runway!

       11 likes

  26. RedZoneTuba says:

    How about from Home Economics, the “five-pound potty”? I especially loved Joel’s laughing “My goodness, you must have had a big breakfast!” response.

       20 likes

  27. bartcow says:

    Space Mutiny (of course): Making wappits?

    Oh, and maybe this isn’t the best WDT topic, but I’d like to know what riffs/references people still don’t get. For me, I’m still wondering what the heck a “finntoozler” is or where it comes from. And since I have to idea how to spell it, Google was no help last time I tried.

       6 likes

  28. bellerian says:

    “Like a dried prune” -“Like a drag queen ?” from Monster a Go Go

    But my favourite comes from Plan 9 : °I do love you darling° sounds ‘I’ma do Levy Town’ or something like that.

       2 likes

  29. Mr. Krasker says:

    bartcow:
    Oh, and maybe this isn’t the best WDT topic, but I’d like to know what riffs/references people still don’t get. For me, I’m still wondering what the heck a “finntoozler” is or where it comes from. And since I have to idea how to spell it, Google was no help last time I tried.

    “Try the Fintoozler, you get to keep the glass!”

    I’m not sure that’s a specific reference to any real product as much as it is a generic swipe at overpriced ‘theme’ drinks at bars, in restaurants, and (especially) on cruise ships. They offer you a fancy-schmantzy drink (generally with lots of garnish and an umbrella) in a tulip glass with advertising printed on it, and tell you you can keep the glass. Only when you get the bill do you realize how much you paid for that sticky-sweet drink in a useless souvenir glass.

       3 likes

  30. Green Luthor says:

    All the variations on “The Dark One” from Robot Holocaust (and when Valeria later visited the SOL in Rocketship X-M). “Doug Warren? I haven’t seen him since high school.”

       3 likes

  31. ck says:

    #30
    Speaking of Valeria, who has the more affected sounding accent, Valeria or Natalie of Werewolf fame?
    I mean, the Dawk One seemed to have a bit of a crush on Valeria.

       3 likes

  32. sdogmoore says:

    I agree with #26 – 5-pound potty from The Home Economics Story is not only confusing but made hysterical by the “My! She must have had a a big breakfast!”… and EVEN MORESO, on repeat viewing, as you can hear Joel giggling as that part approaches. I quote that as my favorite riff of all MST3K.

       6 likes

  33. Weepy Donuts says:

    Confession: For a very a long time I thought that Crow said “Bat Guano” during the Robot Roll Call portion of the theme song.

       17 likes

  34. Professor Gunther says:

    While KILLER SHREWS is in essence a misheard MOVIE (because we can’t understand what ANYONE is saying), “the shoes are in the bar?” comes up a lot around our house. Unless I’ve misheard the line.

       1 likes

  35. pirengle says:

    RedZoneTuba:
    How about from Home Economics, the “five-pound potty”?I especially loved Joel’s laughing “My goodness, you must have had a big breakfast!” response.

    I have no idea what the original’s supposed to be either.

       1 likes

  36. Sitting Duck says:

    Weepy Donuts:
    Confession: For a very a long time I thought that Crow said “Bat Guano” during the Robot Roll Call portion of the theme song.

    The first time I watched an episode, I heard Robot Roll Call as Robots You’ll Call

       3 likes

  37. My favorite misheard line is actually by ME and it takes place during the opening theme song of the show. During Robot Roll Call (the Mike era on CC), when Crow pops up and says “that’s one ‘O’!!” I have always always ALWAYS heard it as him saying “catch a porno!” :laugh: :laugh:
    Even though I know what he says, I still hear it every time!! :laugh: :rotfl:

       5 likes

  38. Murdock Hauser says:

    From “Hobgoblins”
    KISS KICKER!!

    Mike: “Pig Sticker?” “Is that what their singing?” “Pig Sticker?”

    KISS KICKER!!

    Mike: Yeah it is.

    KISS KICKER!!

    Tom: “Pig Liquor, I think.” “So a man who licks pigs or perhaps a liquor made of pigs.”

    Mike: “I would not want Pig Liquor.”

    KISS KICKER!!

    Mike: “Kid Snickers.”

    KISS KICKER!!

    Crow: “Iced Chicken?”

    KISS KISSER!!

    Tom: Swiss Knickers.

    KISS KICKER!!

    Mike: “Lint Kicker.”

    Crow: “No Fish Picker.” “That’s our one song.” Good night everybody.”

       12 likes

  39. EricJ says:

    Dr Strangepork:
    Either “Corn Job” in Gamera Vs. Guiron or “Pig Sticker” from Hobgoblins. There are too many to mention but these get me every time.

    Given that his name in the movie was Kondo (master of darkness!), isn’t it possible that Officer Cornjob was actually “Officer Corndog”?
    (I don’t have time to check the alternate “Attack of the Monsters” dub on Amazon Prime.)

    But this would upset the very foundations of MSTie-ism…How many fans would have to change their screennames?

       1 likes

  40. Son of Peanut says:

    #33 Me too!!

       2 likes

  41. MarcusVermilion says:

    Johnny “Longbone”.

       11 likes

  42. thequietman says:

    From our favorite euro-something lady, Natalie from ‘Werewolf’:

    They say they saw him turn into a beast!
    Servo: Turn into BEETS?! That’s horrible!

       8 likes

  43. Mibbitmaker says:

    bartcow:
    Oh, and maybe this isn’t the best WDT topic, but I’d like to know what riffs/references people still don’t get. For me, I’m still wondering what the heck a “finntoozler” is or where it comes from. And since I have to idea how to spell it, Google was no help last time I tried.

    I’ve always thought “fintoozler” was from Dr. Seuss, particularly a Who toy/musical instrument from “How The Grinch Stole Christmas”. Still pretty sure that’s it.

       6 likes

  44. Jay says:

    pirengle: I have no idea what the original’s supposed to be either.

    As Sampo observed in his comments on the episode a “five pound potty” refers to a mostly defunct social tradition where women throw a Five Pound Party for a newlywed bride giving her mostly kitchen essentials like a five pound bag of flour or sugar, etc. I guess if you eat enough of the new bride’s cooking you could end up with a five pound potty, too.

       11 likes

  45. new cornjob says:

    HA!… i’ve always thought it was “bat guano” too! really, “that’s one ‘oh'” is what he says?? wonder if they’ve ever “issued statements” to correct misinformation/misunderstood lines like that…

    maybe it’s so obvious no one’s bother mentioning my personal fave, came immediately to my mind… john “bannergram’s” “bobbie” – which, let alone he makes it sound so much more like “boobie,” but then he had to pronounce those “b’s” so softly… that of course became the “poopie” that launched a thousand jokes!

    i recently looped around my list again, so i’m back into early season 2, and “jungle goddess” just reminded of one of my fave all-time mst quotes… somebody at official merch, pass it along; we need a tshirt that says “you’re messin’ with the satellite of love”!

    p.s. “fintoozler” i thought was a dr.-seussian reference; probably got reused a few times over the whole run… comes from “grinch who stole christmas” where he was griping about all the “noise, noise, noise!” one ep, not sure which, they quoted a fair bit of that. (cred. mibbit! beat me to it! ;)

    “But this would upset the very foundations of MSTie-ism…How many fans would have to change their screennames?” – guess i’ll change mine to “bat guano” then! (oh wait, doesn’t someone else use that one already too? sighs, once again, i’ll have to use “new bat guano”, lol!)

       2 likes

  46. Jay says:

    Fentoozler –

    Perhaps a coincidence, but Fentoozler is the title of a song by Blink-182 from their 1995 album Cheshire Cat.

       6 likes

  47. dafs says:

    From Space Children:
    “Go phone the devil…”

    Also, the famous misheard Cambot subliminal message: “kill yourself!”

       5 likes

  48. Jay says:

    “Rock and Roll Martian” –

    In a quintessential childhood moment from Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders the little boy plays with the evil cymbal monkey while he chants “F-ckin’ Old Martian” over and over. I know he isn’t really saying f-ckin’ old Martian, but it really, really sounds like he is!

       14 likes

  49. Nuveena says:

    Weepy Donuts:
    Confession: For a very a long time I thought that Crow said “Bat Guano” during the Robot Roll Call portion of the theme song.

    Well, that’s sure what I’ve always heard. However my husband insists that in the later version, he’s not saying, “I’m different!” but “Vas deferens!”

       3 likes

  50. MSTie says:

    Nuveena: Well, that’s sure what I’ve always heard. However my husband insists that in the later version, he’s not saying, “I’m different!” but “Vas deferens!”

    Are you married to a urologist, by any chance? :-O

    Btw, speaking of “sounds like,” is there any truth to the rumor that one of the sounds of the doors opening/shutting in the doors sequence is someone saying “Pizza”?

       1 likes

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