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Sampo & Erhardt

Sci-Fi Archives


Visit our archives of the MST3K pages previously hosted by the Sci-Fi Channel's SCIFI.COM.

Goodbye Sci-Fi

Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett reflect on MST3K's final broadcast.

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Episode guide: 1111- Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II

Movie: (1989) In-name-only sequel to the previous movie. Three kingdoms have been overtaken by three evil lords and only Tyor, a teenage boy with magical powers, can restore peace to the land.

Opening: It’s raining and nobody can go out and play
Invention exchange: J&tB have GIF Notes; the Mads have Punt Bunnies
Segment 1: Dark One’s Renaissance Inn and Grille franchise video
Segment 2: Jonah explains the ’80s wizard comedy craze
Segment 3: Grandma Pearl and crew visit and Kinga’s getting married!
Closing: Jonah suggests good movies to counteract various aspects of a bad movie
Stinger: Tyor gets a popeye arm
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (57 votes, average: 3.88 out of 5)

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• What’s funny (to me at least) is that this movie feels less cheap than the last one, despite being a sequel. But the story makes even less sense than last week’s movie. The riffing is solid, if not always hilarious. The host segments are hit and miss.
• Great to see Pearl, Brain Guy and Bobo again. I thought this appearance was more relaxed and funny than the last one.
• Grant Baciocco provided the voice of the punt bunny (uncredited).
• I had to look up “eggplant emoji.” I am terminally out of it.
• The segment in which Jonah explains the “’80s wizard comedy craze” seems like a long walk for a very little joke, as Johnny Carson once said.
• I’m guessing, based on Ardy’s mea culpa, that the brief shot in the beginning with people going underwater was longer and involved Carradine battling a sea monster.
• Callbacks: “Time for go to bed!” “The Chicken of Tomorrow.” Also a callback to an earlier season 11 ep: “Use that amulet to contact Big Foot.”
• The setup for the season finale continues, with Kinga dreaming up a wedding scheme.
• Of course, one notable star is Lana Clarkson, who in 2003 was killed by record producer Phil Spector.
• This movie re-uses footage from “Barbarian Queen” (with Lana Clarkson) and “The Warrior and the Sorceress,” (with David Carradine).
• Cast and crew roundup: Director Charles B. Griffith also wrote “The Undead,” “Gunslinger” and “It Conquered the World,” in which he also appeared. Mel Welles also is in “The Undead.” W.T. Zacha was wardrobe supervisor for “The Unearthly.” And we do not need to run through the Roger Corman litany again.
• How many Carradines does this make? Two at least…
• Fave riff: “I’d be more terrified if they both weren’t wearing relaxed-fit Dockers.” Honorable mention: “I’m forming a Stockholm Syndrome situation with David Carradine’s legs.”

135 Replies to “Episode guide: 1111- Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II”

  1. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Per IMDB “Connections,” the Wizards of the Lost Kingdom films connect to Sorceress, to Amazons, and to the Deathstalker films. The Deathstalker films connect to the Barbarian Queen films. The Barbarian Queen films in turn connect right back to the Wizards of the Lost Kingdom films. The Deathstalker films and the Barbarian Queen films both connect to The Warrior and the Sorceress. Implying a shared universe for all of the above. So there’s that, anyway.

       1 likes

  2. jay says:

    Rocket ship movies? I’ll forgive anything. Sword and sorcerer movies, not so much and there was a lot to forgive in this one. Just not my cup of movie, I guess.

       2 likes

  3. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Volcanosaurus Rex:
    The franchise video host segment bothered me, for some reason, and it took me a while to realize why: it seems weird that the Mads would just go along with Jonah and the bots’ little skit.

    I think the deal is that they’ve tried to re-create, within only a few episodes, a character dynamic that M/J&tB and the Mads took YEARS to perfect.

    As I mentioned regarding the previous film, IMHO Jonah and the Bots haven’t really known Max long enough to tell if he’s behaving “strangely” or not. Nor have they known Kinga long enough to be genuinely afraid of her. Her talk about being evil is mostly just that, talk-talk-talk chatter-chatter-chatter talk-talk-talk chatter-chatter-chatter…

    (Hey, where am I riffing from there? Where was I riffing from last time by mentioning Morgul the Friendly Drelb? Anyone? Anyone?)
    ;-)

       3 likes

  4. thequietman says:

    If I had eyebrows, I’d be raising them right now!

    The previous movie provided for a funny enough episode (with a great song segment) but this one seemed to get even bigger laughs on the rewatch. Servo’s delivery of ‘Okay, but it’s really sweaty’ when Standard Wizard Femme Fatale asks for Tire’s hand was the biggest guffaw I think I’ve had thus far watching this season. And seeing the Sci-Fi Mad trio is always a treat.

    Fave Riffs
    Is coffee normally so soapy?

    Ye Olde Coyote Ugly

    Somewhere a cat is walking on a synthesizer…

    When in a cave, keep your torchbearer waaay behind you.

    Nobody told me wizarding would involve upper body strength!

       1 likes

  5. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    So, what if Caedmon (not “Caveman”) and/or Tyor (whose name sounds kind of “Tylor” from the previous movie; continuity!(?)) had in fact refused The Call To Adventure? Seriously, no one ever really puts up much of a fight about being yanked out of their lives (such as they were) like that, do they?

    Admittedly, with refusal, we wouldn’t have had a movie…or we might have had a very different movie. “Girl in Lovers Lane Goes Medieval,” perhaps.

       1 likes

  6. GareChicago says:

    The Original EricJ:

    “Can’t we all just get along?”We can, if you could just shut up for two minutes trying to make it look like we’re not.

    Irony.

    Delete your account.

    Gare

       8 likes

  7. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    At least the evil wizards were nice enough to allow the captive virgins to keep their clothes. So they had that much decorum.

    BTW, since this movie is about three kingdoms, instead of Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II, should it have been titled Wizards of the III Lost Kingdoms?

       2 likes

  8. touches no one’s life, then leaves:Her talk about being evil is mostly just that, talk-talk-talk chatter-chatter-chatter talk-talk-talk chatter-chatter-chatter…
    (Hey, where am I riffing from there? Where was I riffing from last time by mentioning Morgul the Friendly Drelb? Anyone? Anyone?)
    ;-)

    Edna Mode, and Gary Owens from beautiful downtown Burbank, respectively.

    And yes, the Yeti of No Great Plot Significance from the previous episode DOES look like Morgul the Friendly Drelb.
    Which ref I wouldn’t have remembered either, if the darnedest reruns didn’t resurface on the backwaters of Amazon Prime.

    And while on pointless nitpicking trivia:

    Sampo
    How many Carradines does this make? Two at least

    Two on the series, obviously–Kung Fu star David and aforementioned Red Zone Cuba star John–and we haven’t seen the other two:
    Keith Carradine, whom Lily Tomlin lusted over in “Nashville”, and Robert Carradine, aka Lewis from the original “Revenge of the Nerds” (hyuuk-hyuuk-hyuuk!)

       1 likes

  9. Sitting Duck says:

    Some of you may recall how we once had a weekend discussion about evil inventions that are spiteful, sadistic, or malicious in nature. Punt bunnies fit in right alongside the Tragic Moments Figurines, the Tough Love Seat, and the Unhappy Meals.

    So was the Homeless Santa riff meant to be a call forward or was it just prescient?

    Werewolves wear slacks because they got nards.

    touches no one’s life, then leaves:
    So, what if Caedmon (not “Caveman”) and/or Tyor (whose name sounds kind of “Tylor” from the previous movie; continuity!(?)) had in fact refused The Call To Adventure? Seriously, no one ever really puts up much of a fight about being yanked out of their lives (such as they were) like that, do they?

    In this particular case, their lives are so wretched that anything else probably looks like a step up.

    Favorite riffs

    Hell’s bells! It’s Mel Welles!

    “As always, it was the people who suffered.”
    The people in the audience, that is.

    “And as each day passed, the reign of terror grew worse.”
    Street theater ran rampant!

    “Which was is north?”
    My compass ran out of goat’s blood

    Kids go running for that great taste of millet.

    Loser can’t even rearrange atoms.

    I never thought I’d miss Simon and Kor so badly.

    Harry and Hagrid search Diagon Alley for just a drop of butterbeer.

    So that’s why there’s a D Health Rating in the window.

    If we wanted this kind of service, we would have gone to Denny’s.

    “We don’t know what her name is.”
    And we’re not gonna ask.

    Tyor, do you even care that a werewolf is, like, killing your friend?

    In Lost Kingdom, ham spiral cuts you.

    I’d be more terrified if they weren’t both wearing relaxed fit Dockers.

    “Death to Loki!”
    But first, death to all of Loki’s employees, associates, and Loki franchise licensees!”

    Taste the wrath of my gentle nudging!

    Hark! A warrior, fresh from her stylist.

    Her secret forest base has valet service.

    Lucky for him this dungeon has central air.

    It’s sad when a movie has to applaud itself.

    “I will sacrifice you.”
    Meanwhile, in couple’s therapy.

    We need to reach those cardboard cutouts by nightfall.

    Mordor’s a lot less scary in the off-season.

    “I’m going to need your help.”
    Which shames me.

    He’s outnumbered and out-pantsed.

    Caedmon really puts the can’t in incantation.

    No TV for a month, or I cut off your fingers. You choose.

    All the sundials are blinking twelve o’clock.

    And once again, the gargoyle gets away scot-free.

       2 likes

  10. Sitting Duck says:

    Gah! I screwed up the html tag in my previous post. Since the editing feature is more trouble than it’s worth, here’s the Evil Invention discussion.

    http://www.mst3kinfo.com/?p=11611

       0 likes

  11. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    The Original EricJ: Edna Mode, and Gary Owens from beautiful downtown Burbank, respectively.

    I started to say something to the effect of “If Edna Mode was a writer for The Harlem Globetrotters Popcorn Machine (1974–1976), then yes” but I checked and found out that Edna Mode is in fact a fictional character. So, no, then. Gary Owens WAS a Laugh-In writer, though, so you got that one right.

       2 likes

  12. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Sitting Duck:
    Some of you may recall how we once had a weekend discussion

    I keep forgetting to ask, is there a formal procedure for suggesting weekend discussion topics, or does one just announce it and hope that Santo notices? Thanks.

       2 likes

  13. yelling_into_the_void says:

    The writer just kinda gave up on Tyor there at the end…
    DAVID CARRADINE! I hope they do another movie of his.

       1 likes

  14. Kenneth Morgan says:

    touches no one’s life, then leaves: I started to say something to the effect of “If Edna Mode was a writer for The Harlem Globetrotters Popcorn Machine (1974–1976), then yes” but I checked and found out that Edna Mode is in fact a fictional character. So, no, then. Gary Owens WAS a Laugh-In writer, though, so you got that one right.

    Ye gods, you remember “The Harlem Globetrotters Popcorn Machine”? With Rodney Allen Rippy? I’m astonished.

       2 likes

  15. Johnny Drama says:

    touches no one’s life, then leaves: I keep forgetting to ask, is there a formal procedure for suggesting weekend discussion topics, or does one just announce it and hope that Santo notices? Thanks.

    You email suggestions to him

       2 likes

  16. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Kenneth Morgan: Ye gods, you remember “The Harlem Globetrotters Popcorn Machine”? With Rodney Allen Rippy?

    Well, I was like five or so, but yes. Obscure enough to impress maybe even Joel, huh? :-)

    Although besides that talk/chatter thing (which was how one particular Globetrotter classified what another was saying but I’m not even sure which two they were), all that’s really stuck in my mind so many years later was Avery Schreiber as Mr. Evil.

    “Evil’s my middle name! It’s also my first and last name…”Evil E. Evil”!”

       2 likes

  17. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Johnny Drama: You email suggestions to him

    Okay, thanks. :-)

       1 likes

  18. Colossus Prime says:

    Never before has the blocking and staging of a scene angered me. And the last confrontation scene absolutely irritates me. Between no one reacting to things, everyone standing so SUPER close to one another that the dialogue makes NO DAMNED SENSE! The level of incompetence makes me taste copper.

       4 likes

  19. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    In contrast, I only first heard of Morgul the Friendly Drelb mere hours before I mentioned him in a post under Wizards of the Lost Kingdom #1. :-)

       1 likes

  20. GareChicago says:

    touches no one’s life, then leaves: I keep forgetting to ask, is there a formal procedure for suggesting weekend discussion topics, or does one just announce it and hope that Santo notices? Thanks.

    You’re hoping El Santo notices??

    I mean.. good luck and all, but he’s busy fighting Mexican vampires.

    Gare

       6 likes

  21. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    “Samurai Manos?”

    Samurai Cop?
    Samurai Jack?
    I Am Sam, Samurai Am? “I do not like that Samurai Am!”

       2 likes

  22. Dan in WI says:

    GareChicago: You’re hoping El Santo notices??

    I mean.. good luck and all, but he’s busy fighting Mexican vampires.

    Gare

    I also think he’s busy being dead.
    So yeah, good luck!

       2 likes

  23. Lisa H. says:

    Dang it, Dan, you beat me to it!

       1 likes

  24. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Oh, get bent.
    (The right people will get it.)

    As a leftover note from the preceding film, I think Tom had the distinction between “sorcery” and “magic” wrong. You hear about “magical lands” and “magical creatures” but never about “sorcerous lands” or “sorcerous creatures” so it’s magic that’s “inborn” and sorcery that’s “based on book-learnin’.” I mean, if anyone were to ask me. Which no one’s going to do. ;-)

       2 likes

  25. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Another left-over, in which I riff a riff:

    JONAH: “So their entire town is made of rock-climbing walls?”

    Crow (whispering): Hey, Servo…rock climbing.
    (the two bots giggle)
    Jonah: What?
    both bots chorus (ala Wild Rebels): Nothing.

       2 likes

  26. I was surprised last week when so many people expressed their dislike of the first WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM film, i enjoyed that episode and thought the movie was bad but goofy fun. This in-name-only sequel is a straight up BAD movie and this episode suffers because of it, as the riffing never truly takes off and the majority of the segments don’t land well either, with some notable exceptions. I mean, the first WOTLK has special effects, an array of costumes, and a bunch of monsters, admittedly they aren’t very good special effects, costumes, or monsters, but the movie still has them in spades. Other than some serviceable costumes, WOTLK2 doesn’t have any of that stuff, it’s mainly a showcase for crummy wizards, lame comedy, and even lamer action beats. There is a couple crummy wolf and pig monsters in that basement dungeon set but that’s about it. By my eyes WOTLK2 is the cheaper looking of the two films, it screams “community theater” players (plus David Carradine and Sid Haig) and feels like a group of no-talents are “putting on a show.”

    CAST NOTES: Bobby Jacoby (aka: Robert Jayne) would go on to co-star in TREMORS (great movie) and Sid Haig looks really good in his feathery “skeksis” outfit; Sid is a genre powerhouse, starring in many Jack Hill movies (COFFY, PIT STOP, SPIDER BABY) and more recently finding a second wave of fame in Rob Zombie’s films (DEVIL’S REJECTS is the only one I like).

    As for the episode of MST3k itself, I like the “it’s raining outside” opening and the Invention Exchange is solid (GIF Notes is a great idea, and for the record I know what eggplant emojis means). The Host Segments don’t really catch fire and are a mixed bag, the customer service bit in HS#1 is ok, the crummy wizard bit in HS#2 is a crummy skit, and HS#3 has the return of Pearl, Bobo, and Brain Guy, which is another nice visit, but mainly serves as further set-up for the finale, so it’s fine.

    RIFFS:

    Servo: “Whoa, flashback! Oh.”

    Crow: “Epic manspread.”

    Crow: “The legendary ropes of convenience!”

    Crow: “Time for go to bed.”

    Servo: “Robert Blake in Lost Highway.”

    Servo: “Soft focus Rambo.”

    Jonah: “OW! My coccyx!”

    Servo: “This is not that easy. It’s like fighting an army of Michael Myerseses.”

    Jonah: “Why is Donar dressed like a skeksis?”
    Servo: “He’s bringing skeksi back. Yeah!”

    Crow: “Now he can use the amulet to contact Bigfoot.”

    Jonah: “This is like the last day of camp, they think they’re gonna keep in touch, but they’re not.”

    ——
    —-

    This is one of the middle of the road, not terrible but not great episodes of the new season.
    I didn’t really enjoy it this time out, but it has moments and I’m feeling generous,
    so I’ll give it 3 out 5 crummy wizards.

       0 likes

  27. yelling_into_the_void says:

    Prepare for my overhand!
    Or how about my overhand!
    No? Well, try my overhand!
    Overhand! Overhand!
    You defeated my overhand, sir knight, but can you handle– Psych! Overhand!

       1 likes

  28. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    The Original EricJ:
    I can’t remember, did we get a David Bowie/Labyrinth ref in another movie, and Jn&tB have now officially reffed EVERYTHING the Muppets ever did, except for Emmet Otter’s Jug Band and those Disney movies?

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Land_of_Gorch

       1 likes

  29. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    touches no one’s life, then leaves:
    Another left-over, in which I riff a riff:

    JONAH: “So their entire kingdom is made of rock-climbing walls?”

    Crow (whispering): Hey, Servo…rock climbing.
    (the two bots giggle)
    Jonah: What?
    both bots chorus (ala Wild Rebels): Nothing.

    IMHO it works even better if you imagine it with the Trace and Kevin voices…

       1 likes

  30. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    The Original EricJ:
    “Can’t we all just get along?” We can, if you could just shut up for two minutes trying to make it look like we’re not.

    So, uh, “no,” then…

       1 likes

  31. Lisa H. says:

    This is the third time I’ve watched this, and I only just noticed that the GIF Notes have a yellow and black Gizmonics checkerboard pattern like Cliffs Notes have yellow and black stripes. Cute design touch.

       1 likes

  32. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Johnny's nonchalance:
    Call me persnickety

    You’re persnickety.

    So I got that much done, anyway…

    gf120581:
    Oh and that kid? HATE. I wanted him exterminated with extreme prejudice

    Extreeeeeeme prejudice? With a side of extreeeeeeme rice?

    The Original EricJ:
    But didn’t Penn & Teller already invent Punt Bunnies on one MTV Awards appearance?

    Maybe the Brains didn’t know that because they have enough good taste to avoid watching Penn and Teller in any capacity.

    The Original EricJ: Anyone with a decent Robin Williams-level imitation of Jack Mercer’s B/W Fleischer Popeye could have had his pick of riffs here.(“That’s all I can stands, ‘cuz I can’t stands no more!”)

    Personally I think the earlier version of Mercer-Popeye, back when he had almost no catchphrases and half his dialogue was just sort of mumbled to himself, was funnier.

    “I wish I was light-headed so I could see what I was doin’…”

       1 likes

  33. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Danzilla “Cornjob” McLargeHuge, Student of Kaijuology:
    -Tyre is uncomfortably horny.

    Is there really such a thing as comfortable horniness?

       1 likes

  34. Johnny Drama says:

    Penn and Teller supported the Kickstarter by offering a reward perk.

       2 likes

  35. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    another leftover (not coming up with much about Wizards II is all)

    Aura: “You’ll HAVE to carry a sword after we’re married.”

    And why would THAT be, exactly? What is it about marriage that she thinks will require a…

    Wait. Never mind.

       1 likes

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