Movie: (1989) In-name-only sequel to the previous movie. Three kingdoms have been overtaken by three evil lords and only Tyor, a teenage boy with magical powers, can restore peace to the land.
Opening: It’s raining and nobody can go out and play
Invention exchange: J&tB have GIF Notes; the Mads have Punt Bunnies
Segment 1: Dark One’s Renaissance Inn and Grille franchise video
Segment 2: Jonah explains the ’80s wizard comedy craze
Segment 3: Grandma Pearl and crew visit and Kinga’s getting married!
Closing: Jonah suggests good movies to counteract various aspects of a bad movie
Stinger: Tyor gets a popeye arm
(61 votes, average: 3.90 out of 5)
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• What’s funny (to me at least) is that this movie feels less cheap than the last one, despite being a sequel. But the story makes even less sense than last week’s movie. The riffing is solid, if not always hilarious. The host segments are hit and miss.
• Great to see Pearl, Brain Guy and Bobo again. I thought this appearance was more relaxed and funny than the last one.
• Grant Baciocco provided the voice of the punt bunny (uncredited).
• I had to look up “eggplant emoji.” I am terminally out of it.
• The segment in which Jonah explains the “’80s wizard comedy craze” seems like a long walk for a very little joke, as Johnny Carson once said.
• I’m guessing, based on Ardy’s mea culpa, that the brief shot in the beginning with people going underwater was longer and involved Carradine battling a sea monster.
• Callbacks: “Time for go to bed!” “The Chicken of Tomorrow.” Also a callback to an earlier season 11 ep: “Use that amulet to contact Big Foot.”
• The setup for the season finale continues, with Kinga dreaming up a wedding scheme.
• Of course, one notable star is Lana Clarkson, who in 2003 was killed by record producer Phil Spector.
• This movie re-uses footage from “Barbarian Queen” (with Lana Clarkson) and “The Warrior and the Sorceress,” (with David Carradine).
• Cast and crew roundup: Director Charles B. Griffith also wrote “The Undead,” “Gunslinger” and “It Conquered the World,” in which he also appeared. Mel Welles also is in “The Undead.” W.T. Zacha was wardrobe supervisor for “The Unearthly.” And we do not need to run through the Roger Corman litany again.
• How many Carradines does this make? Two at least…
• Fave riff: “I’d be more terrified if they both weren’t wearing relaxed-fit Dockers.” Honorable mention: “I’m forming a Stockholm Syndrome situation with David Carradine’s legs.”
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Per IMDB “Connections,” the Wizards of the Lost Kingdom films connect to Sorceress, to Amazons, and to the Deathstalker films. The Deathstalker films connect to the Barbarian Queen films. The Barbarian Queen films in turn connect right back to the Wizards of the Lost Kingdom films. The Deathstalker films and the Barbarian Queen films both connect to The Warrior and the Sorceress. Implying a shared universe for all of the above. So there’s that, anyway.
Rocket ship movies? I’ll forgive anything. Sword and sorcerer movies, not so much and there was a lot to forgive in this one. Just not my cup of movie, I guess.
I think the deal is that they’ve tried to re-create, within only a few episodes, a character dynamic that M/J&tB and the Mads took YEARS to perfect.
As I mentioned regarding the previous film, IMHO Jonah and the Bots haven’t really known Max long enough to tell if he’s behaving “strangely” or not. Nor have they known Kinga long enough to be genuinely afraid of her. Her talk about being evil is mostly just that, talk-talk-talk chatter-chatter-chatter talk-talk-talk chatter-chatter-chatter…
(Hey, where am I riffing from there? Where was I riffing from last time by mentioning Morgul the Friendly Drelb? Anyone? Anyone?)
;-)
If I had eyebrows, I’d be raising them right now!
The previous movie provided for a funny enough episode (with a great song segment) but this one seemed to get even bigger laughs on the rewatch. Servo’s delivery of ‘Okay, but it’s really sweaty’ when Standard Wizard Femme Fatale asks for Tire’s hand was the biggest guffaw I think I’ve had thus far watching this season. And seeing the Sci-Fi Mad trio is always a treat.
Fave Riffs
Is coffee normally so soapy?
Ye Olde Coyote Ugly
Somewhere a cat is walking on a synthesizer…
When in a cave, keep your torchbearer waaay behind you.
Nobody told me wizarding would involve upper body strength!
So, what if Caedmon (not “Caveman”) and/or Tyor (whose name sounds kind of “Tylor” from the previous movie; continuity!(?)) had in fact refused The Call To Adventure? Seriously, no one ever really puts up much of a fight about being yanked out of their lives (such as they were) like that, do they?
Admittedly, with refusal, we wouldn’t have had a movie…or we might have had a very different movie. “Girl in Lovers Lane Goes Medieval,” perhaps.
Irony.
Delete your account.
Gare
At least the evil wizards were nice enough to allow the captive virgins to keep their clothes. So they had that much decorum.
BTW, since this movie is about three kingdoms, instead of Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II, should it have been titled Wizards of the III Lost Kingdoms?
Edna Mode, and Gary Owens from beautiful downtown Burbank, respectively.
And yes, the Yeti of No Great Plot Significance from the previous episode DOES look like Morgul the Friendly Drelb.
Which ref I wouldn’t have remembered either, if the darnedest reruns didn’t resurface on the backwaters of Amazon Prime.
And while on pointless nitpicking trivia:
Two on the series, obviously–Kung Fu star David and aforementioned Red Zone Cuba star John–and we haven’t seen the other two:
Keith Carradine, whom Lily Tomlin lusted over in “Nashville”, and Robert Carradine, aka Lewis from the original “Revenge of the Nerds” (hyuuk-hyuuk-hyuuk!)
Some of you may recall how we once had a weekend discussion about evil inventions that are spiteful, sadistic, or malicious in nature. Punt bunnies fit in right alongside the Tragic Moments Figurines, the Tough Love Seat, and the Unhappy Meals.
So was the Homeless Santa riff meant to be a call forward or was it just prescient?
Werewolves wear slacks because they got nards.
In this particular case, their lives are so wretched that anything else probably looks like a step up.
Favorite riffs
Hell’s bells! It’s Mel Welles!
“As always, it was the people who suffered.”
The people in the audience, that is.
“And as each day passed, the reign of terror grew worse.”
Street theater ran rampant!
“Which was is north?”
My compass ran out of goat’s blood
Kids go running for that great taste of millet.
Loser can’t even rearrange atoms.
I never thought I’d miss Simon and Kor so badly.
Harry and Hagrid search Diagon Alley for just a drop of butterbeer.
So that’s why there’s a D Health Rating in the window.
If we wanted this kind of service, we would have gone to Denny’s.
“We don’t know what her name is.”
And we’re not gonna ask.
Tyor, do you even care that a werewolf is, like, killing your friend?
In Lost Kingdom, ham spiral cuts you.
I’d be more terrified if they weren’t both wearing relaxed fit Dockers.
“Death to Loki!”
But first, death to all of Loki’s employees, associates, and Loki franchise licensees!”
Taste the wrath of my gentle nudging!
Hark! A warrior, fresh from her stylist.
Her secret forest base has valet service.
Lucky for him this dungeon has central air.
It’s sad when a movie has to applaud itself.
“I will sacrifice you.”
Meanwhile, in couple’s therapy.
We need to reach those cardboard cutouts by nightfall.
Mordor’s a lot less scary in the off-season.
“I’m going to need your help.”
Which shames me.
He’s outnumbered and out-pantsed.
Caedmon really puts the can’t in incantation.
No TV for a month, or I cut off your fingers. You choose.
All the sundials are blinking twelve o’clock.
And once again, the gargoyle gets away scot-free.
Gah! I screwed up the html tag in my previous post. Since the editing feature is more trouble than it’s worth, here’s the Evil Invention discussion.
https://www.mst3kinfo.com/?p=11611
I started to say something to the effect of “If Edna Mode was a writer for The Harlem Globetrotters Popcorn Machine (1974–1976), then yes” but I checked and found out that Edna Mode is in fact a fictional character. So, no, then. Gary Owens WAS a Laugh-In writer, though, so you got that one right.
I keep forgetting to ask, is there a formal procedure for suggesting weekend discussion topics, or does one just announce it and hope that Santo notices? Thanks.
The writer just kinda gave up on Tyor there at the end…
DAVID CARRADINE! I hope they do another movie of his.
Ye gods, you remember “The Harlem Globetrotters Popcorn Machine”? With Rodney Allen Rippy? I’m astonished.
You email suggestions to him
Well, I was like five or so, but yes. Obscure enough to impress maybe even Joel, huh? :-)
Although besides that talk/chatter thing (which was how one particular Globetrotter classified what another was saying but I’m not even sure which two they were), all that’s really stuck in my mind so many years later was Avery Schreiber as Mr. Evil.
“Evil’s my middle name! It’s also my first and last name…”Evil E. Evil”!”
Okay, thanks. :-)
Never before has the blocking and staging of a scene angered me. And the last confrontation scene absolutely irritates me. Between no one reacting to things, everyone standing so SUPER close to one another that the dialogue makes NO DAMNED SENSE! The level of incompetence makes me taste copper.
In contrast, I only first heard of Morgul the Friendly Drelb mere hours before I mentioned him in a post under Wizards of the Lost Kingdom #1. :-)
You’re hoping El Santo notices??
I mean.. good luck and all, but he’s busy fighting Mexican vampires.
Gare
“Samurai Manos?”
Samurai Cop?
Samurai Jack?
I Am Sam, Samurai Am? “I do not like that Samurai Am!”
I also think he’s busy being dead.
So yeah, good luck!
Dang it, Dan, you beat me to it!
Oh, get bent.
(The right people will get it.)
As a leftover note from the preceding film, I think Tom had the distinction between “sorcery” and “magic” wrong. You hear about “magical lands” and “magical creatures” but never about “sorcerous lands” or “sorcerous creatures” so it’s magic that’s “inborn” and sorcery that’s “based on book-learnin’.” I mean, if anyone were to ask me. Which no one’s going to do. ;-)
Another left-over, in which I riff a riff:
JONAH: “So their entire town is made of rock-climbing walls?”
Crow (whispering): Hey, Servo…rock climbing.
(the two bots giggle)
Jonah: What?
both bots chorus (ala Wild Rebels): Nothing.
I was surprised last week when so many people expressed their dislike of the first WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM film, i enjoyed that episode and thought the movie was bad but goofy fun. This in-name-only sequel is a straight up BAD movie and this episode suffers because of it, as the riffing never truly takes off and the majority of the segments don’t land well either, with some notable exceptions. I mean, the first WOTLK has special effects, an array of costumes, and a bunch of monsters, admittedly they aren’t very good special effects, costumes, or monsters, but the movie still has them in spades. Other than some serviceable costumes, WOTLK2 doesn’t have any of that stuff, it’s mainly a showcase for crummy wizards, lame comedy, and even lamer action beats. There is a couple crummy wolf and pig monsters in that basement dungeon set but that’s about it. By my eyes WOTLK2 is the cheaper looking of the two films, it screams “community theater” players (plus David Carradine and Sid Haig) and feels like a group of no-talents are “putting on a show.”
CAST NOTES: Bobby Jacoby (aka: Robert Jayne) would go on to co-star in TREMORS (great movie) and Sid Haig looks really good in his feathery “skeksis” outfit; Sid is a genre powerhouse, starring in many Jack Hill movies (COFFY, PIT STOP, SPIDER BABY) and more recently finding a second wave of fame in Rob Zombie’s films (DEVIL’S REJECTS is the only one I like).
As for the episode of MST3k itself, I like the “it’s raining outside” opening and the Invention Exchange is solid (GIF Notes is a great idea, and for the record I know what eggplant emojis means). The Host Segments don’t really catch fire and are a mixed bag, the customer service bit in HS#1 is ok, the crummy wizard bit in HS#2 is a crummy skit, and HS#3 has the return of Pearl, Bobo, and Brain Guy, which is another nice visit, but mainly serves as further set-up for the finale, so it’s fine.
RIFFS:
Servo: “Whoa, flashback! Oh.”
Crow: “Epic manspread.”
Crow: “The legendary ropes of convenience!”
Crow: “Time for go to bed.”
Servo: “Robert Blake in Lost Highway.”
Servo: “Soft focus Rambo.”
Jonah: “OW! My coccyx!”
Servo: “This is not that easy. It’s like fighting an army of Michael Myerseses.”
Jonah: “Why is Donar dressed like a skeksis?”
Servo: “He’s bringing skeksi back. Yeah!”
Crow: “Now he can use the amulet to contact Bigfoot.”
Jonah: “This is like the last day of camp, they think they’re gonna keep in touch, but they’re not.”
——
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This is one of the middle of the road, not terrible but not great episodes of the new season.
I didn’t really enjoy it this time out, but it has moments and I’m feeling generous,
so I’ll give it 3 out 5 crummy wizards.
Prepare for my overhand!
Or how about my overhand!
No? Well, try my overhand!
Overhand! Overhand!
You defeated my overhand, sir knight, but can you handle– Psych! Overhand!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Land_of_Gorch
IMHO it works even better if you imagine it with the Trace and Kevin voices…
So, uh, “no,” then…
This is the third time I’ve watched this, and I only just noticed that the GIF Notes have a yellow and black Gizmonics checkerboard pattern like Cliffs Notes have yellow and black stripes. Cute design touch.
You’re persnickety.
So I got that much done, anyway…
Extreeeeeeme prejudice? With a side of extreeeeeeme rice?
Maybe the Brains didn’t know that because they have enough good taste to avoid watching Penn and Teller in any capacity.
Personally I think the earlier version of Mercer-Popeye, back when he had almost no catchphrases and half his dialogue was just sort of mumbled to himself, was funnier.
“I wish I was light-headed so I could see what I was doin’…”
Is there really such a thing as comfortable horniness?
Penn and Teller supported the Kickstarter by offering a reward perk.
another leftover (not coming up with much about Wizards II is all)
Aura: “You’ll HAVE to carry a sword after we’re married.”
And why would THAT be, exactly? What is it about marriage that she thinks will require a…
Wait. Never mind.