Movie: (1966) Santa has to get a job — as a department store Santa — to earn money to pay his overdue rent bill.
Opening: Jonah wants to sing a Christmas carol, but picks the one song people don’t know the words to
Invention exchange: Kinga still plans to marry Jonah, but Synthia isn’t helping; J&tB have the Re-Gifter; the Mads have “Humbug FM”
Segment 1: J&tB review classic Santa toys
Segment 2: J&tB try to explain the creepy toys
Segment 3: Santa and Baby Whipple visit
Closing: Christmas slide show
Stinger: Hohohohoho, hey Sam, this is fun! Hohoho!
(72 votes, average: 3.31 out of 5)
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• Overall a pretty good episode, and a nice addition to the stable of MST3K/Rifftrax/Cinematic Titanic Christmas movies to choose from every year.
• There’s a brief reference to the upcoming wedding, and a reminder that Synthia is there. Setting things up for the next episode.
• Instead of a medley of tunes from the legacy series, during the breaks the Skeleton Crew plays its version of “Patrick Swayze Christmas.”
• I love a good running gag. I really do. They can be frustrating, at times, to some viewers, but I think it usually works if the underlying joke is funny. That’s the problem, I think, with the “I’m a baby” running gag (of which there were, by my count, 20 mentions). The original joke just doesn’t land for me. I don’t think he looks at all like a baby. Sorry…
• The scene with the kids pouring out of houses to give Santa money must have felt very familiar to Joel.
• At one point, when it looks like something on the screen is going to explode, the riffers run for their lives…they quickly return.
• The line “fightin’s outta style,” had to have come from Firesign Theatre fan Joel.
• Segment two is a cute idea, hampered by the low-res images from the movie that were shown. A little hard to make out.
• Obscure reference: “Omar comin’!” (Fans of “The Wire” got it.)
• Is it me or were there a noticeably large number of “Dune” references in this one, for some reason?
• I love Joel’s completely offhand Santa. He’s not even trying to do a different voice.
• That was Elliot Kalan as Baby Whipple.
• Actor Salvatore Furnari was also in “Hercules & the Captive Women.” and Rosanno Brazzi played Don Lamanna in “Final Justice.”
• Classic riff: “They’ve created their own Thunderdome.” “Jonah, can’t we get beyond Thunderdome?”
• Fave riff: “You can always tell when a building used to be an i-Hop.” Honorable mention: “Wow this tea kicked in fast!” and “You sure you’re not confusing children with spiders?”
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Christmas… in July?
So now we finally have a clear understanding of just why The Return can be so terribly awful, as it was in the previous three films,
even with all the components that should have made it a success. In the past I called this MST3K-Lite, but that’s a facile remark
that doesn’t really get at the truth.
The truth is this season is a AAA baseball team — they are professionals, they are certainly better at this then either you or I
would be, and yet they are not ready for the majors. In particular, they aren’t ready to take on movies that require a truly
expert riffing touch. We already know that Joel had been thinking about the selection of films for a reboot for quite some time, but I
think his biggest mistake was he was thinking about things HE might have been able to do. This group just wasn’t up to the
likes of “Carnival Magic”. Joel and Mike could have done it, but even they would have had to be at the top of their game.
So it really wasn’t fair — Jonah and company were fighting out of their league and just as we wouldn’t have expected the KTMA group to
have been able to handle Manos, so, too, was it unrealistic to think they could deal with some of the brutal films — as ripe for
riffing as they were — that they have been saddled with this season.
But the good news is along comes a nice, pleasant piece of crap like “The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t”… and they hit this
softball out of the park. It’s exactly right in all the ways the previous three films were not. Even the host segments are superb,
starting from the very beginning.
This one will not only be something my DW and I watch again, we’ll make it part of our regular Christmas rotation, along with
“Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” and, of course, “Santa Claus” (and RT’s “Santa and the Easter Bunny” as well as those wonderful
shorts they did one year). While not quite as good as any of those, this certainly deserves to be part of that class.
While I still think “Avalanche” was the season highlight, I was so delighted by this I’ll give it a 7 out of 10. Good job, Jonah
and the bots!
One of the best episodes of the Netflix season. One flaw, though — several times, Jonah and the ‘bots make a SOUTH PACIFIC riff when Santa’s on-screen, but it was Rossano Brazzi (Phineas T. Prune), NOT Alberto Rabagliati (Santa), who starred in that movie. Joel & Mike didn’t have access to iMDB, but at least they kept the filmographies of the actors in their films straight.
This was a pretty tortuous movie and one I doubt I’ll watch again, although I’m glad I saw it once. Props for including one Christmas movie in the new season, to give people a future alternative to, say, Santa Claus vs. the Martians. Sampo, I agree with you about the running “I’m a baby” gag. Waaaaay overdone. And my favorite riff was also “You can always tell when a building used to be an IHoP” — part of the reason that’s so funny is that it’s true. Casino? Used to be an IHoP. Fabric store? Used to be an IHoP.
I got some laughs from the look-how-cute-we-are montage of freeze frames, both in the movie and from Jonah & the ‘bots. Oh, how that was overused decades ago.
What was the deal with that little kid with the budding mustache? Was it a joke or did the kid actually have one? Was he older than his size implied or was he unusually hairy?
All I can say is WOW what a depressing movie. I mean, I don’t want to get into my personal situation/life story or anything, but all I’ll say is I am broke, underemployed, and worried about how I’m going to pay next month’s rent! So last week I sat down to relax, unwind and watch a Christmas in July all-new episode of MST3K… and there’s Santa who’s about to be evicted because he can’t pay the rent!!! So long for forgetting about my troubles for a couple of hours, jeez! If Santa can’t pay his rent, what hope is there for me? It’s not like I can call on the kids of Italy to give me their piggy banks! Thanks for nothing, stupid movie!
That being said, I did laugh a lot during this. I was literally in tears during the Prune song (what’s that one called again?) Sooo ridiculous!
I think the elements of your posts that I find most offensive is that they’re never framed as an opinion. It’s clear YOU dislike the new season. That’s fine. But, you’re presenting an alternate reality where it was universally loathed and panned. It hasn’t been, it’s been received very well by both critics and fans. Look to the sold out live shows and standing ovations currently greeting each one.
It’s fine that you’re missing out on the fun. But, if you insist on posting such negativity, please understand the context is that your opinion is clearly in the minority.
All that said, I’m genuinely glad you enjoyed this episode. The whole point of MST3K is to make people happy.
Though some people are saying this movie is a holiday classic for them I had not even heard of it before Season 11. Holding it up to Santa Claus Conquers the Martians or Santa Claus is really not fair, I think. For me it will improve with repeated viewings just like the “classic” episodes do. Now, if it only had an ear worm theme song. Perhaps – “Hooray for King Wenceslas!”. Nahhh, forget it.
This one was fun! I was so hoping for a “once you have found her, Nev – er – Let – Her – GOOOOOO” riff for Rossano, but I guess the right opportunity never came up.
One thing this shares with the previous Christmas movies they’ve done is the sheer bizarre nature of it. All three appear the result of too much Christmas cheer or a tub of bad eggnog.
“Santa Claus” wins the honors for weirdest, however. If the presence of Merlin and Satan in a Santa tale doesn’t do it, the legions of indentured children workers does it. And then those laughing reindeer….AAAAAAAAA!!!!
Here’s a Ballyhoo documentary about the making of the movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmPQyaxqivc
Is this the first time someone used the idea that a man hates Christmas because Santa forgot to give him a present as a child? I’ve seen it used elsewhere, like on Amazing Stories and even an episode of Night Court.
By the way, the TV special done by Rifftrax, The Night Dracula Saved the World, was originally titled The Halloween that Almost Wasn’t.
I didn’t understand why “I’m a baby” became a running gag. There’s one part where Mr. and Mrs. Claus are sort of taking care of the guy, and they spend the entire rest of the movie, plus the host segment, doing the gag. There’s another puzzling running gag in the next movie.
There was the time when they said the guy in Indestructible Man was also in Catalina Caper when really he wasn’t.
One of our favorites of the new season. The movie’s just so repulsive and strange, the riffers are comfortable with each other and the movie, and it all adds up to a great new addition to the MST/CT/RT Xmas tradition.
However, I do hate that I find myself wandering around the house tunelessly muttering, “Prune Prune Prune Prune Prune…..”
For me, this was one of the two “tough slog” episodes of the new season (the other being At Earth’s Core, but that’s saved by the epic ending of the season). This was a beloved Holiday classic worthy of Simpsons parodies and endless HBO reairings in the 80s? It’s interesting right up until Mr. Whipple shows up in Santa’s shack and then it turned into a talky dud. The “Baby” riffs fall flat to me, but to each either own, and EVERY season has a few episodes that didn’t quite work out.
On the other hand, the host segments are certainly firing on all cylinders. Humbug FM could sell a million units by the end of November if it were real, Kinga apologizing and then apologizing for doing so, the Jonah/Kinga wedding is still pretty funny, and MST keeps the tradition of emphasizing the religious aspects of Christmas — they’re doing the show well.
And if I matters, Jet Screen pops up a few episodes before IIRC.
This did seem to become something of a trope in TV shows. The ’90s series Early Edition had a good episode merely called Christmas that involves a bomber who puts explosives in teddy bears, and one of the main characters, Chuck, hates Christmas because he didn’t get a toy he wanted when he was little (Chuck was very definitely Jewish, though, so that seemed a bit odd). M. Emmet Walsh plays the most ragged-looking Santa you’ll ever see, but as many of us believe, M. Emmet Walsh is good in everything.
Wow, what a pathetic movie. I understand that riffing a Christmas movie is part of the MST3K tradition, but this one felt like kicking a kitten. A saccharine kiddie movie, from Italy no less. I wish they could go after stuff that deserves the treatment. Like the live action Grinch.
I want the Mads’ invention. If I could listen to howler monkeys, sirens, and vuvuzelas instead of the crap that’s on I might go back to listening to the radio.
Gag I thought they were going to do, then was disappointed: At the end of host segment 1, where they decided that they might as well be naughty. When the movie sign comes on they could have really been naughty by standing there like defiant little kids for just a couple of seconds while their resolve breaks down and they head for the theater in panic.
Maybe that’s just part of Jonah’s whole movie sign routine always seeming off. Per the underlying gag of the show, the denizens of the SoL watch the movies only to avoid an unspecified but undoubtedly much more unpleasant experience. He seems excited about the movie starting, rather than filled with dread at the thought of the consequences of non-compliance.
And don’t get me started on Kinga. Evil villains pet the kitty now and then, if for no other reason than to keep everyone off balance. A true evil villain knows there’s no percentage in being rude to the flunkies.
As much as you know who annoys me, he might have a point with this being the farm team. Every week I see an obvious opportunity in real time and the army of writers working on this show misses it. This typically doesn’t happen when watching the old stuff. I’m not saying this season is bad, but there’s a feeling that it could be better. Let’s hope they learn.
Or Neil Miller (Judge Reinhold) in “The Santa Clause” who was only a jerk because he didn’t get his Oscar Meyer weenie whistle. But of course all that came after TCTAW. Did this stinker originate that trope? TVtropes doesn’t have a specific one for “Santa forgot my present,” but it does show up in the “Freudian Excuse” category. More research is required.
Director/actor Rossano Brassi, born Sept. 18, 1916, died Dec 24, 1994. Christmas Eve!
Actor/writer Paul Tripp, born Feb. 20, 1911, died Aug. 29, 2002
Composer Bruno Nicolai, born May 20, 1926, died Aug. 16 1991
Actor Alberto Rabagliati, born June 27, 1906, died March 8, 1974
Actor Mischa Auer, born Nov. 17, 1905, died March 5 1967
Actor Sonny Fox, born June 17, 1925
Actor John Karlson, born Oct. 20, 1919
Theme song singer Glenn Yarbrough, born Jan. 12, 1930, died Aug. 11, 2016
Actress Lydia Brassi, born sometime in 1925, died April 21, 1981
Actor Valentino Macchi, born Aug. 4, 1937, died March 19, 2013
Actor Friedrich von Ledebur, born June 3, 1900, died Dec. 25, 1986. Christmas!
Cinematographer Alvaro Mancori, born Sept. 15, 1923, died June 24, 2011
Other MST3K connections
Actor Salvatore Furnari was also in Hercules & the Captive Women
Other dates
Nov. 23, 1966, released in the US
Dec. 25, 1969, released in Finland
Dec. 25, 2016, Wonderama, a children’s show once hosted by Sonny Fox returns to the airwaves after a 33-year-absence. It’s a good time for reviving TV series with connections to Sonny Fox.
Jan. 25, 1940, director/actor Rossano Brassi marries his future TCTAW co-star Lydia Brassi
HOO-boy…Fist-bump to Sampo, and everyone else who mentioned it.
Yes, it’s funny once, when we first see Whipple’s impishly poor-man’s-Danny-Kaye babyface, but after a solid hour and a half of it, even the most patient MSTie is going to be saying “O-KAY! How did the gag freakin’ start, anyway?”
There’s a very distinct diagnosable MSTie Rift problem with that, but I’ll have to get to that later–First, the good stuff:
One of the missing “movie spills” is that when Santa, Mrs. & Baby are in Prune’s apartment, Mrs. decides, in a fit of holiday goodwill, to clean Prune’s apartment and decorate it with yuletide cheer…And we get a wacky sped-up scene of sprucing up the apartment, that the episode skipped over. When they come back from commercial break, the guys notice the change in set continuity and Jonah riffs, “Wait, she decorated it too?” Well, yes.
There seem to be a few “Condensed highlights” of longer scenes cut down by the time the movie hit theaters, and the Happy Chimney Slide Show (which looks like a whole torturous five-minute comedy scene in the original) was trimmed for time.
But the “Happy Slideshow on Moon 13” is one of those great scene-sarcastic host-seg parodies the Joel-era could do so well–For some reason, I was reminded more of the “Make your own FVI credits” segment from Cave Dwellers, than “Trumpy you can do magic” from Pod People.
I remember the days when theaters would actually show Christmas matinees, because they picked their own movies and had nothing else to show kids–Lord help me, I’d seen Martians and Mexican-Santa in a theater, although I’d never gotten to see Wasn’t or RT’s Magic Christmas Tree. My childhood issues made me want to look them up on Netflix, and I’d seen the movie there first, unriffed.
Another missing “movie spill” that wasn’t in the original is that, in the trailer, before Danny Kaye meets Santa Topol on the street, the movie was supposed to open with Paul Tripp meeting the Horde of Kids and singing the movie’s main song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fi_x0kp3ptM
Such a subversively strange earworm of a song, but the guys seemed so rushed and/or focused on the “motif” riffs, they didn’t really bother to do anything with it. I’d gone in thinking it was worth a host-seg gag at least.
No, they make the South Pacific riffs when Brazzi/Prune is peeking in the window of the store. Another example (like the Jayne Mansfield jokes in Hercules) where Jn&tB assume we’ve been looking up IMDb before the episode, too.
That’s true, and there’s a reason for that–Even the most “meh” episodes of the season so far, I haven’t actually hated with the passion that watching five MK&B minutes of Rifftrax can bring out, but with Santa and Core, I did start to faintly see some of the same problems that make those hairs on the back my neck go up:
It’s not the show’s fault or Jn&tB’s, so much as, if you want to find a root of the disease, the new “Freedom” of our Binge-Streaming Culture. Namely, that we don’t watch or talk about “Episodes” anymore with current broadcast and cable shows; with most shows now pursuing season-long running arcs, we talk about “Seasons”, since we watch them all in big gulps, and ask “When can we watch the new Season 7?”. We MSTies can talk about individual episodes, and why Santa/Martians was better than Mexican Santa or vice versa, but what happened in S1E8 of Westworld?
(And, that’s probably why we’ve now spent the whole season wondering about Kinga’s Wedding, or Max’s new friend in Moon 14.)
And because it’s All About Seasons, and the ability to glom them in three-day marathon sessions, an entire SEASON of House of Cards or Orange is the New Black has to be completed before it even airs. Two problems with that:
1) Things don’t get better mid-season, since they’ve already filmed the end–If a broadcast show tanks early in the ratings, the network or producer changes the showrunner or cast during the rerun break, and hopes it’ll improve. Here, if we say “Joel should get Hampton & Baron to rehearse together a little more and riff a little more naturally”, we add “Maybe that’ll happen in S12”. And then “…Assuming we get one.” Because you can’t fix something that’s already been made.
and
2) Making an entire season is a lot of work. In the old days, even for the CC Brains, they might produce six episodes, take a breather, and be on the next six while the reruns aired. Making six episodes before they’ve even aired causes less burnout than making all fourteen episodes before you literally know whether the audience even likes it or not.
One of the problems we’ve heard folk start to bring up about the Mike years was that M&tB sounded “lazy” or “bored” letting the riffing get too easy: They were sounding bored with the movie, bored with themselves, got too confident that a favorite fan riff could be plugged in on demand, latched onto one running joke that tickled their fantasy, and beat it into the ground for ninety minutes while racing for the end of the movie.
Here, Jn&tB’s riffing has been good, and Carnival Magic gave them plenty to work with, but 1113-1114 both seemed hellbent-rushed, and latching onto “theme” riffs that they could fill time with over and over. Probably because they came at the end of a very long season. (A complaint that’s also raised about the riffing on the overworked S7.)
But hey, kids, at least you’ve got your Saturday-night Binge Sessions! Take that, commercials! Take that, cable! Take that, “Must-see Mondays” of the 70’s and 80’s! We’re not watching our parents’ TV!
As I noted last week, when I tried watching this episode in April, I didn’t make it very far. This time, I completed it and found it to be a welcome change of pace from the previous three episodes. A Christmas musical in July. The movie riffing was on target and not too frenetic. I thought the guy who played Jonathon liked kinda like Ginger Baker from the band Cream, sans the red hair.
The host segments were solid, with the standout being the visit from Santa and Sam (“please don’t squeeze your diaper, Mr. Whipple!”). I found the way they revealed Santa was Jewish to be very funny.
Other than that, not much else to say, except to reiterate what some other posters have said about every episode has been introduced as “welcome to the nightmare-fueled world that is…” How about a little variety there, like a well-placed description such as “a flaming sack of dog poopy” or “a stinky cinematic suppository” or “have a warm, nurturing hug from The Blood Waters of Dr. Z”? Funny stuff…
The role of Phineas T. Prune was tailor made for Vincent Price. It’s amazing that none of his movies got MSTed. God knows he did his share of Roger Corman movies.
Oh, and:
– (Prune’s gaunt butler appears at the door)
(together)”Say hello, Riff-Raff!”
Yes, we can be glad that Rocky Horror is the OTHER bit of “70’s pop-culture” the new writers remember besides The Muppets. :)
The Muppets, meanwhile, get ref-beaten into the ground in next week’s episode.
This movie was referenced by Joel while riffing The Day The Earth Froze, back in season 4.
When we got the stretch goal for a Christmas movie, this was the film I desperately wanted them to do because it’s so riffable.
With the original cast, this would have been an instant classic alongside Santa Claus and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. With the new guys… it’s just sort of okay.
At least the host segments this time around were halfway funny. They at least felt like host segments, rather than obligatory time-fillers. After some pretty solid riffing on Carnival Magic (easily the best of the season) they seem to have lapsed back into lazy state park jokes and of course the unfunny “I’m a baby” running gag. Not that there weren’t plenty of zingers, I just desperately hope they can get some better writers for the next season.
Wow, this one just sat on my head and stayed there. A sweet, innocent enough movie, but ouch. You know, all of the riffed Holiday stuff isn’t my cup of tea though. SCCTM I’ve seen so many times from 1991 to the present that even once a year is hard for me to watch. Santa Claus is a bizarre nightmare that I will watch maybe every couple of years. Rifftrax’s Nestor is so depressing I can’t bring myself to watch it again. And that fact that I watched this one in May, way out of the holiday season, probably has something to do with my response.
Chalk me up as another who thought the baby running gag was flat. It’s obvious they were grasping at straws, since the movie’s not too terribly riffable. Bad running gags are always an indication that the movie was a bad choice. If they have to resort to a running gag, it means, generally, that the movie had nothing to riff on, so the space is filled with a running gag. Yet, I love waffles…. ;)
You would think a movie that has Santa hiring a lawyer would be a hoot, but after about a half an hour, you just want the pain to stop. So in that respect, this is easily the most diabolical experiment of the season. Even more so that Carnival Magic. This is a definite win for the Mads.
*Oh, on a side note, let’s never forget, it’s Santa Claus, not Santa Clause. Thank you, Tim Allen, for teaching an entire generation the misspelling of Santa’s last name. “Oh, you mean like a clause in a contract!”
There ain’t no sanity clause!
We’re saving this one for actual Christmas, so I haven’t seen it yet.
WHO IS MERRITT STOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNEEEEE?
Eric you really have too much time to spend on things you hate and are completely wrong about.
Ten paragraphs, and you pick on the ONE that says icky bad things about Mike.
…And I’m “obsessed”.
To Be Fair, it’s one more paragraph in the ten thousand* paragraphs of hate you’ve written against Mike Nelson and Post-Joel MST3k.
*A conservative estimate!
Jonah is “different.” He does seem to be enjoying the process. But, that’s in line with who he really is as a performer (thrilled to be part of MST3K), and of his character I suspect as well. In Reptilicus, Jonah mentions the theme song sounds familar. Makes me think that the original MST3K experiments must be something of legend in Gizmonics Institute. Which would explain why he knew just what to do from the get go, and his seemingly honored to be there vibe. The first test case who actually likes being there. Wow, that’s going to make it tough for the Mads. Speaking of which, they would just turn off the oxygen if Joel or Mike didn’t comply. But who knows what Kinga would do!
If there’s one thing this season gets wrong, it’s running gags:
“Crabby” the Hat.
“Baby” Sam Whipple.
“Hungry” Doug McClure.
None of these things made me laugh. I’m not even sure how the gags got started, except in the case of the hat (which kinda-sorta looks like a crab, I guess). Enough!
By the way, Glenn Yarbrough (the singer of the theme song) is perhaps most famous today for the old Rankin/Bass cartoon adaptation of The Hobbit.
It’s too bad Season 11 ends on such a dud. This and At the Earth’s Core are two of the worst episodes of the season.
Creepy movie with a kid phobic unhappy Santa. It was slow but I really enjoyed the episode. I bet it will be a better episode to watch around Christmas time. I’m excited to have another mst3k Christmas episode to watch because I can’t stand the Joel era one so all I had was mike’s episode.
The running gag was beaten into the ground by the end but I liked it in Joel’s cameo. Another solid episode in the better half of season 11.
Does anyone else think mst3k should do a Halloween holiday episode every year? They could do a horror film, decorate the sol with pumpkins, wear costumes.. It’s seems like such a missed opportunity.
Ah, now we have it — you don’t like reviews.
Since once upon a time I used to get paid for doing reviews, that’s how I write them now. Sorry, but no reviewer worth his or her salt would ever keep saying “ya know, this is just MY opinion” — and, frankly, not quite sure how anyone should say that. Do folks really believe that anyone writes ANYWHERE (let alone the internet) is some sort of committee consensus that has been carefully vetted and weighed and voted on? Even your opinion on what I wrote IS JUST ONE MAN’S OPINION — it doesn’t represent anything more than that, despite how many folks “like” it (or there’s several folks on Facebook that would be king, given how many likes they have).
(And, truth be told, art by popularity isn’t a very compelling argument, or “Gilligan’s Island”, the very top rated show for many years, would be considered one of the best sitcoms of all times. Sorry, but sometimes the majority opinion is just wrong, and you don’t even have to venture too far to come up with examples in the Real World of that).
But that’s okay, I appreciate your own opinion, even if you have mine. To me it’s really clear this season was a failed experiment and while that doesn’t mean it couldn’t get better if we got another season, the odds aren’t good. And we have one last one to go, and my hopes (as always) are high.
I couldn’t get over the idea that the lawyer’s plan for Santa to raise money to save his home was for him to get a part time job. I’d like to think this was an intentionally anti-capitalist statement snuck into a terrible movie, but it’s probably just a terrible movie.
Also, Rossano Brassi was in Final Justice.
Don’t forget the Willy Wonka reference (“I Want It Now!”) when that one girl is watching Santa from outside the store.
Well, at least we know where “Hungry” Doug McClure comes from–In his first appearance in Core, he looks uncannily like Joe Don Baker, the guys cry out “P.T. Mitchell!”, and spend the next 90 minutes recycling old Mitchell riffs. I’m not sure why else, they just felt they needed another JDB.
As for Crabby the Hat, that one had me mystified from the beginning. I thought “Is it one of those Spongebob references the kids are into?”, but even on still-frame, I just couldn’t see it.
It’s a lazy M&tB-ish habit, making running-joke riffs based on their OWN riffs–Anything past the third callback, and you start to wonder, “Okay, what exactly is the root for this?”, and if it’s of artificial origin, there’s just no solid foundation to build on.
That is odd because for me I am quoting his whole ugly, delusional post
Those are all bad things.
You were trying too hard. You didn’t notice the things sticking out of the front of that hat that looked like claws? Well, they really looked more like lobster claws to me, but “Crabby” was still a good name for the character. And it was OK to me because they just called him “Crabby,” they didn’t make a joke out of it every time.
As for the repeated riffs, it seems that they have a limited lexicon. There were at least two Simpsons refs (don’t ask me to recall what they were, I just remember them whizzing by) and at least two Godfather Part 2 refs. Yes, Part 2. (“You broke my heart, Fredo,”, and “Just to wet my beak.”) I always used to be amazed at the amount of just obscure enough references that the SoL crew could come up with, familiar enough that you get it, but obscure enough that you say, “How did they remember that?” This crowd? Not so much. South Pacific? Who under 60 has seen “South Pacific?”
Ah. Dawns the light. Unless you and Sampo have an arrangement (doubtful), then you are not being paid to write reviews here, and therefore many of your comments come across as “I am right and all you ignorant peasants are wrong, ohandletmereiteratehowstupidyouare.” Which is further illustrated by your comment about Gilligan’s Island, which was not high art but was stupid and funny and entertaining for families back in the day.
Call me madcap, but reading diatribes from a former paid reviewer on a message board that’s supposed to be a fun hangout is about as much fun as going out to eat with an asshole who used to be a paid restaurant reviewer and can’t enjoy the meal and makes sure no one else does either.
Well, then they made an entire supporting-character out of him, with dialogue, in the riffing, hence my confusion over Spongebob references.
Maybe it’s more in the tribute of giving the Giant Gila Monster his voice throughout that movie (“Thanks, folks, I’ll be right back.”) but either you saw the hat or you didn’t.
Well, who under 60 knows anything ELSE Rossano Brazzi was in? That’s become the curse of the later years, that if you don’t know too much pop-culture, and there isn’t as much riffable about the movie, just grab your IMDb and beat the actors’ past recognizable filmographies into the ground as if the fact alone that he’s in this movie is some sort of crippling “embarrassment”…
At least here, it’s one or two riffs, since Jn&tB seem to know that we know villain/director Brazzi from Pacific, and, eh, it wasn’t really that funny to begin with, but hey, gotta say it.
Well, I am clearly not as sophisticated as some of you folks with your fancy “criticisms” and “reviews” and cultural sensibilities. ;-) I can’t say that I’ve really disliked any episode this season; all of them made me laugh to some degree, some more than others obviously. This was definitely not in the top tier for me, but it has its moments. My boys all seem to like it just fine, however.
The “widdle baby” bit – I, too, was sort of mystified as to where it came from – sure does register with my boys, and it’s become a new household thing for us (as in, “I can’t cut the grass, dad… because ‘I’m a widdle baby'” — Oh, come on, it’s FUN). I think we might tend to forget that this show is at least partly modeled on movie shows oriented to kids as much as adults, and I’m really glad Joel was up-front that he wanted to keep it family-friendly. So some random if inexplicable silliness certainly should be forgivable, especially in a Christmas movie that obviously is geared to kids.
The Humbug radio invention was great stuff. Did Max mispronounce “vuvuzelas”, or have I just always been saying it wrong? :/ Liked the creepy toys bit a lot, too.
Just a few of the riffs that stood out while re-watching last night:
A lawyer who forgets to send out bills? This movie just became unrealistic.
By the way, all the time since we met has been billable hours.
You do realize I’m not doing this pro bono.
(When Prune leans back in his chair, “manspreads”, and rests his cane in his crotch) Paging Dr Freud.
Now we sure the store. My plan is working, See?
…but did Crow seriously call Prune a “d**k” in this episode?
This is the one S11 episode that I just couldn’t pay much attention to, at least until the end, and then, paradoxically for a movie I’d found completely boring all the way through, I suddenly found myself touched by the schmaltzy ending.
So anyway, my least favorite episode of the season. I’ll have to watch it again, though, to see if perhaps I was just in a bad mood or something the day I watched it.
Don’t forget all the jabs at liberals, apropos of nothing. Injecting politics in non-political discussion is always SUPER endearing.
You know, this movie was really crushing me up to a point. It’s depressing and, dare I say, anti-whimsical. But I felt that the riffing was strong enough to bring me out of the funk and eventually got me enjoying the episode. Yes, even the stupid baby running gag started making me smile because it was just so odd to me and they would’t let it go. Totally get why others didn’t care for it though. I’d have been happy with the season ending on this one, rather than the boring slog that I felt episode 14 turned out to be, especially since I didn’t need a meh cliffhanger ending (BECAUSE BINGING CULTURE GUYS).
After all this time I think some folks still haven’t heard the line in the theme song. It is just a tv show and you should really just relax.
I think this was a great addition to the MST3K Christmas library. A painfully stupid movie with very good riffing.
That is all, please carry on.
This movie used to advertise Every Christmas in the NYC area for my whole childhood. Having been forced to take my older brother to see it 1966, my Mom refused ever to take me to see it. Ages later (cir 1999-2000 A.D.) in late February, I decided I Had to see it, so I rented the VHS by mail from Jerry Ohlinger’s Movie Store (RIP). I was disappointed at how mundane it was…I was guess I was expecting a “Doctor Phibes Christmas”, but it was just bland and genial, much like it’s star/writer, Paul Tripp, the host of TV’s “Birthday House.” Ironically, just two weeks after I paid about $16.00 to rent it, the movie turned up on Showtime (in mid March?!). My wife liked that the Hero of the story was an attorney, which rarely happens in a movie without a long dull trial, though arguably, that could describe the movie itself.
So you didn’t like Mike as much as Joel? One of the funniest lines from last year’s on-line intro of the new cast was when Jonah said that his hosting would probably settle the dispute by uniting Joel & Mike supporters jointly Against him….guess not.
The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t fails the Bechdel Test. The only conversation between two females occurs when a girl and her mom comment on how Santa’s beard is real.
FTW my internet connection was out all weekend and this has been my first chance to post on this topic.
Normally, Mrs. Claus is presented as being Santa’s wife. For whatever reason, she’s Santa’s mother in this film.
Love the Bride of the Monster callback during the bumper about the Boneheads.
FWIW the first department store Santa as we’ve come to know them appears to have been at the Edgar Department Store of Brockton, MA, in 1890.
Santa a Jew? Sure, why not. After all, the holiday celebrates the birth of who is arguably the world’s most famous Jew. And IIRC there is a sect of Judaism that believes that Jesus was the Messiah, but who are presumably uncomfortable with the abandonment of Jewish traditions that would come with joining a conventional Christian sect. Their name escapes me at the moment, though.
Regarding the scenes of the kids chipping in for Santa’s rent, the first thing that came to mind was It’s a Wonderful Life. Specifically when the citizens of Bedford Falls, perhaps feeling the teensiest modicum of guilt over having taken advantage of George Bailey’s doormat personality all those years, pool their resources to cover the money Uncle Billy so carelessly misplaced. Yeah, I’m not that fond of It’s a Wonderful Life.
It was the directors they screwed up. :P They never figured out that Sam Newfield directed Lost Continent, not Jungle Goddess.
Wait, you consider At the Earth’s Core a tough slog, but not Carnival Magic? I get that people have different tastes, but still!
The biggest understatement that will ever be made until the heat death of the universe.
Many years ago, I rented a car to drive from Zagreb to Zadar on the Dalmatian coast (yes, yes, of course, there’s a backstory here, but no one wants to hear it, so just take my word for it) and I asked a Scottish fellow with a lot of experience in S. Europe what to expect from Yugoslav drivers. “Well, they take insane risks”, he said, “but at least they’re not cheeky like the Italians.” That phrase comes to mind when contemplating “The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t”: there’s a certain brazenness to the cynicism in some of the Italian films the Brains take on, like “Escape 2000”, “Outlaw”, “Devil Fish”, the Bond ripoffs, now this one–“No, we don’t have anything to say here, just trying to make a quick buck, thanks”. It’s a quality different from the crass cynicism, of, say, “Star Crash”, or “Cry Wilderness”, and it certainly has served MST3K well over the years.
I, too, remember “. . . Almost Wasn’t” from holiday seasons growing up. Little did I know what a stinker it was . . . I also remember when “Reptilicus”, “Cry Wilderness”, “Avalanche” and “The Land That Time Forgot” came To a Theater Near You.
Anybody else think it’s depressing to see a site devoted to the funniest TV show ever made occasionally become such a stone drag? Or that it’s silly to get on one’s high horse about this or that iteration of a cult TV comedy that most of the rest of the populace is only dimly aware of? (“Oh, you mean that show with the silhouettes in the corner of space aliens or whatever they are?” Actual quote from an acquaintance.) It seems kind of pointless to split hairs over methodology in a show whose whole purpose is to ridicule bad movies. (Joel going “Eeeew” whenever Arch Hall Jr. comes onscreen is not “nasty” or “mean” or “bullying” because . . . why, exactly?) And comparing the new cast in their first season to the old cast(s) at their peak is pointless, too: no series should be judged by its first season. If MST3K were, it wouldn’t be still on. Look, we have 11 seasons, 211 episodes, three humanoid hosts, three versions each of four robots, and eight mads~minions in five different combinations: we’re all going to have our preferences. And that’s just fine. Just because I prefer Mike to Joel, Trace’s Crow to Bill’s, and think Pearl/Brain Guy/Bobo are in a flat-footed tie with Clay/Frank as best Mad combo doesn’t make me any smarter or better than anyone else. But it sure as hell doesn’t make me any dumber or worse, either.
Speaking of: The only thing I find remotely problematic with Season 11 is that so many of the movies are so godawful bad, a hundred times worse, even, than the bottom of the Seasons 1-10 barrels. “Star Crash” and “Carnival Magic” are probably the two worst films I’ve ever sat all the way through. The two Wizard/Lost Kingdom ones, “The Loves of Hercules” and “. . . Almost Wasn’t” are right behind ’em. I think it’s a testament to the talent of the new crew that I can watch them at all, and laugh more often than not. Now, why is this? Is it because these later films are more pretentious? Maybe, but “Space Mutiny”, “Future War” and even “Spider Invasion” are just as recent and even they have more of a spark to them (not that it helps them or that they do anything useful with it). Anybody have an opinion here? (IMO, the two Doug McClure movies, “Avalanche” and “Time Travelers” are more within the Badness Range of classic MST3K episodes, with the others I haven’t named closer to it than not.)
And oh, what the original cast would have done with Rifftrax’s “I Believe in Santa Claus”… :(
But the new guys would have been…just sort of okay on that one.
Carnival Magic was a tough-slog movie with fun riffing, Core was a reasonably goofy movie (c’mon, it’s got Peter Cushing!) with painful, painful tough-slog riffing, of the presumptive-running-gag Widdle-Baby variety.
But let’s all save that barroom brawl for later.
That line only applies to Science Facts, not show criticism. :raspberry: