Movie: (1964) An air force pilot is eager to learn to fly the F-104 jet, and that means mid-air refueling.
First shown: 10/29/94
Opening: Crow tries to log onto the information super-highway
Intro: The Mads have cranial ports; but M&tB have Cowboy Mike’s barbecue sauce and it’s bold!
Host segment 1: While he and Tom reenact the refueling scene, Crow misses a call
Host segment 2: The bots “debrief” Mike
Host segment 3: The United Servo Academy Men’s Chorus performs
End: Crow finally logs onto the information super-highway, Mike reads a letter, the Mads are sharing their thoughts
Stinger: Lady elbows hubby
(243 votes, average: 4.43 out of 5)
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• This episode is especially near and dear to me. The movie is JUST. SO. BAD. The riffing is great, considering how little they had to work with, and the host segments are silly and endearing.
• This episode is included in The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection, Vol. 12
• Ah, 1994, the year that most people discovered the “online” world, and we began to hear a certain automotive metaphor. By the way, Al Gore didn’t invent the Internet, but he did coin the phrase “information superhighway.”
A personal story: In 1994 I was working for an electronics retailing trade magazine, and one of the big stories of that year was that some electronics retailers (anybody remember Circuit City?) were just starting to carry computers, though nobody (including my boss!) could really say why, exactly, a consumer would want one. And keep in mind that modems were often not standard equipment on many of the computers that were coming to market at that time. Having been online (mostly on Prodigy and AOL) for a couple of years at that point, I tried to explain that “going online” was going to be the killer app for these things. He had no idea what I was talking about and refused to let me do a story about it. He was fired a few months later.
• BTW — do NOT go to biteme.com. It appears to be doing nefarious things.
• In the comments, several experts explained the “looking for uart at fx1050” prompt–essentially it’s saying that there’s a hardware/software conflict, probably involving the modem.
• I love how Crow starts dancing slightly to the hold music as he waits.
• That’s Kevin as the first tech support voice. The next voice is Jim, I think, then the live voice is Paul.
• “It’s bold!!” became an immediate catchphrase.
• I sometimes note especially “naughty” riffs, but it would be impossible to do for this episode. There are dozens during the refueling scenes. My favorite is: “I think he has whiskey jet.”
• Non-spaghetti ball bumpers: datebook, beaker, film canister.
• I once showed this episode to my brother, who was an Air Force pilot. He hated it.
• There was much discussion in online MSTie forums about Crow and Tom, ahem, “refueling.”
• There’s an extreme closeup on the Crow’s phone at one point, and, based on the spray paint flecks on it, I assume it’s been laying around in the prop room.
• Notable theater moment: Mike and Servo get up and dance.
• Those bouncing bombs looked strange to me but several commenters explained that with low-level bombing you need time to get away and the bouncing is designed to give the pilot that time.
• Art riff: “Christo’s latest installa-[boom]…well, good.”
• Random riff: Crow just blurts out: “I hope they blow up Blossom.” (Glad they didn’t.)
• Callbacks: “Shut up Iris.” (The Beatniks), “People seemed to laugh more then:”(Stranded in Space), “Eegah” and “Watch out for snakes!” (Eegah).
• Then-current reference: Tailhook. Honorable mention: “Marilu Henner is replacing Vicky!”
• The topic of corn de-tassling also got a lot of discussion in the forums.
• Segment 2 is great, and I know that many female fans of Mike enjoyed the notion of him being debriefed (tighty whitey alert!)
• Servo does something they rarely do on the show — he takes note of the reel change alert in the corner of the screen and comments on it.
• As if the previous great segments weren’t enough, in segment 3 we are treated to a performance by the United Servo Academy chorus. Kevin wrote both the music and lyrics and I assume spent hours overdubbing himself into many-part harmony. The commenters explained that Mike is imitating Bill McGlaughlin from the local classical music radio show “St. Paul Sunday.”
• Somebody once dissected the lyrics of the song, indicating where every line was stolen from. This has links to almost all them. By the way, if you’d like to hear/see a very nice live version of the song, check out this now-legendary moment from the first JoCo Cruise.
• We get one of the show’s few Cheech and Chong references as Tom Servo imitates Sister Mary Elephant.
• As soon as the character on screen says “poopie suit,” that’s it. Off Tom and Crow go on a long string of scatology, and there’s no stopping them. Mike’s Joel-esque pleas for them to stop fall on deaf ears.
• The “Boogers” incident actually happened, according to the ACEG.
• There is no cast/crew roundup. Nobody involved in this movie worked on any other MSTed movie.
• CreditsWatch: Host segments directed by Jim Mallon. For interns David J. Belmont, Shannon McNeely and Peter Nicolai, this was the final episode they worked on.
• Fave riff: “You know, it’s all kind of dull until you remember how sharp those wings are.” Honorable mention: “Found him! He was under a pile of blankets in my room.”
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I can’t watch the BBQ sauce bit without laughing hysterically. The whole “bold” concept has become part of my vocabulary. If I like something, it’s bold; if I don’t, it’s decidedly un-bold. That being said, this episode is one of the boldest to come out of BBI!
Also, now knowing what “Beautiful Music” is, I can’t watch this movie without announcing after every musical piece “Your dial is set on WWJ-FM 97.” God, I wish that station was still around!
Oh, if you guys are wondering what the heck I am talking about in #102, go to http://www.detroitradioflashbacks.net/retroreplay2/anotherdrf060426.html Once you get past the commercials, you’ll find that much of the music from this clip of FM 97 is very similar to that of this movie. Really, listen to it. You won’t be disappointed!
To me this is one of their best episodes. Given how little material they had to work with, it’s amazing that some of the best riffing to be found in the entire series is here.
The refueling sequence was probably the second dirtiest moment I can recall (the first being “Tubular Boobular Joy”). And the film ended on a great high note with “Poopie Suit”.
Of course, the movie is ‘special’ to me in that I’m an F-15 maintainer in Mountain Home AFB… a dusty, dry desert where boring leather-faced pilots cruise around and nothing ever happens. Amazing. This actually probably made the movie even more unbearably boring for me than most others – seeing jets fly around in formation and taking off is so old-hat it’s almost annoying. In-flight emergencies (IFE) are pretty common, for both landing gear, hydraulics, fuel leaks, etc. So any remote sense of tension that scene may have potentially had was completely lost on me.
Someone asked the question earlier, and to my knowledge, no, there is no ‘Poopie Suit’ anymore. Our pilots have ‘Piddle Packs’ instead, I guess we’re supposed to have enough faith that they won’t crap their pants on a 9 hour flight. And of course high-altitude aircraft like the U-2 still requires the pilot to wear a space suit.
Of course, in case it wasn’t obvious, “uart” has a double-meaning within the context of MST3K – especially considering it’s none other than Art Crow himself who utters it! :mrgreen:
I was scanning something else about this on another blog. Interesting. Your perspective on it is diametrically opposed to what I read to begin with. I am still reflecting over the various points of view, but I’m inclined heavily toward yours. And irrespective, that’s what is so great about modern democracy and the marketplace of thoughts online.
I agree with your Air Force brother, this one SUCKS! Bad riffing, even worse movie. The only thing I really liked about this episode was the host segments, especially “bold sauce,” “re-fueling,” and “the Servo chorus.”
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Sampo said: “Who is Mike imitating? I gather it’s a classical music announcer who is or was on the radio in the Twin Cities.”
Dave said: “The voice Mike Used to introduce the “United Servo’s Men Academy” skit, I believe he also used in Episode 913 “Quest of the Delta Knights” to introduce Servo singing yet again. Does anyone know who he is imitating?”
Mike was doing a damned fine imitation of Laurence Welk in the Starfighters segment. I rewatched Delta Knights just today, and he is doing a completely different imitation in that one. Someone with a Brooklyn-ish accent. I don’t know who, but I suspect it’s someone who appears on PBS.
FYI, the link I left for you guys in comment #103 will no longer work. The Detroit Radio Flashbacks site has been remodeled.
This is my first comment on the web regarding an MST3K episode.
It took me a long time to become a fan of the series. I was laughably ignorant. My first contact came from Penn Gillette’s old Comedy Central teasers – “Coming up next, Play Misty For Me.” I couldn’t figure out what the heck Comedy Central was doing with such a boring old movie, or why they showed it so often! It wasn’t until the Sci-Fi Channel years that I actually figured it all out.
I’ve been riffing on movies in the theater for almost 30 years and became an MST3K addict the first time I actually saw an episode. After kicking myself for missing out on so many years of the show, I started downloading episodes as fast as I could. I amassed a collection of about 60 episodes on CDR and still have a box full of the Rhino VHS tapes, but I had never watched This particular episode until I finally got around to getting the Rhino set that it’s a part of. This is the last of the box sets I’ve purchased because it also contains Parts:The Clonus Horror, my all time least favorite episode.
My GOD, have I been missing out! Episode 612 is now officially my all-time favorite. I’ve already watched it twice and I’ll watch it again with my wife this evening. I can’t wait to see her reaction to the host bits – which are traditionally our least favorite parts of the episodes. The Servo choral sequence is pure brilliance and, as others have already commented, the vocal overdubs and subtle harmonies are extremely difficult to pull off and took far more effort than one might think.
If you want to convert any of the heathen masses to MST3K this is the episode to use. But beware! You will no doubt be pestered for copies. I can’t see anyone watching this without wanting it for their own personal collection.
Baaaa … ba ba baaaaaa … baaaaa … ba ba baaa-aaaah …
Priceless.
The main problem I have with the film is its plotlessness. It meanders pointlessly and then just stops. I had a lot of trouble getting into this one and found the host segments to be more engaging.
In contrast to this film, Girls und Panzer has shown that fiction focused on military hardware is more engaging when said hardware is being operated by cute girls instead of ugly guys.
Favorite riffs:
Just fly back and think of England’s airspace.
Is your face odd, misshapen? Join the Air Force.
Alright Dave, why don’t you get out of your wig and into your uniform.
Touch my bird. Go ahead.
It’s the new Air Force Goofy Bomb, from Wham-O.
It landed on Pig Pen.
He accidentally started siphoning from a Northwest flight.
He’s not ugly enough to be in the Air Force.
I’ll signal them with my deodorant.
At ease, Lt. Loser.
I’ll wait with your best friend Steve.
In the great Rhino tradition the menu screen of this DVD contains an error. It has Joel’s silhouette watching Tom fly the F104 even though this is a Mike episode.
Just listen to those 18 year old computer specs.
90 MHz Pentium
32 meg RAM
CD ROM only
Soundblaster 16
28k dial up modem
Today that computer won’t hold a sneeze.
It seems as though people like Cowboy Mike’s Ricochet BBQ sauce bit. It really is classic so add me to that list. Everyone and I mean everyone brought their A game for this one. Mike’s facial expressions really are great. Frank’s panting anticipation and longing are something else and Clay goes from optimistic to disappointed on a dime. Yup, I love this bit.
This is a very solid episode. The host segments were fun and the riffing was very workmanlike.
Favorite Riffs:
Tom “Yeah the wife is going to be awful glad to see the me.”
Crow “We’re going to have the sex.”
A small flame is seen in the jet exhaust. Tom “well the pilot light works.”
A bouncing bomb detonates:
Crow “It landed on Pig Pen”
Crow “Mrs. Lockhorn cooked dinner again.”
Witkowski “Did you have fun tonight?” Tom “Did you Wang Chung tonight?”
Tom “Did they ever consider this wasn’t riveting?”
After the second phone gag of the film: Mike “Ah yes that provided much needed comic relief from all the gripping drama.”
The millionth refueling scene starts off:
Mike “I’m at a loss. We’ve done promiscuity entendre?”
Tom “check”
Crow “Cuddling in the afterglow?”
Tom “check”
Mike “ah, multiple partner illusions?”
Tom “got it”
Crow “Ah, premature ejaculation innuendo?”
Tom “yup”
Mike “gas station jokes”
Tom “been there”
Crow “impotence”
Tom “oh yeah”
Mike “one night stand stuff?”
Tom “it’s all covered”
Mike “Ah okay let’s just watch then.”
Tom “well refueling a beautiful that’s nothing to make fun of”
Love this episode, it is a favorite. 5/5. Almost everything is great in this episode. The host segments are all good and the riffing is spectacular.
Crow: Ah, Christo’s latest installa—oh good.
Mike [as Crashed Pilot]: Oh, it was pretty rough, man, I had to eat a lizard and drink my urine!
Servo [as Rescuer]: You were only here for ten minutes!
Servo: So basically, according to themselves, the Air Force is a bunch of leather-faced, not-so-bright, heavy drinking, dull-witted speed freaks who poop in their pants and can’t make it with women, right?
Poopie suits
The many, many innuendos when refueling.
aahhh Starfighters…da-da da daaaah- da-dadadadaaaaaaaaaaahh
i think we can all relate to Crow’s computer tech support woes.
i think we all shared the euphoric joy of mid air refueling.
and who can possibly forget flying over BTO in their poopie suit?
da-da da daaaah- da-dadadadaaaaaaaaaaahh
#52: So, the best they could come up with was “poopie suit”? I thought profanity had a long and cherished history in the Armed Forces.
First Skydivers and now this. Makes you wonder what it is about movies with airplanes.
“Skydiver and Starfighter, They’re Cops!”
Or not.
Also, this is one of the relatively few Comedy Central episodes to consistently receive references during the Sci-Fi Channel era. The Baaaaa Da Da Daaaaa theme turned up a few times. I immediately recall it being used in “Deadly Mantis,” for one.
This is one of my favorites, for one reason: THEY RAN OUT OF RIFFS! I love it when a movie is so bad that they just run out of material. There was a moment like that in Manos too if I recall.
If you think about it, this is one heck of a Mary Sue story. Bob Dornan gets talked up as noble for not mentioning he’s a Congressman’s son. On his first flight up, his superior officer yammers on about how he “threw the book at it” and tried to “annihilate space.” (Not that we saw any of that…) Plus, he does the right thing in that oft-mentioned but offscreeen “storm” as opposed to the married guy, who “screwed up royally.” It’d be easy not to notice their building up of Dornan’s character, however, as all the characters come off as identical and boring, and even when things are supposedly happening, they don’t happen.
The movie’s (slightly) special for me, as I grew up in Las Vegas in the seventies, and it was still very much like that at the time: all desert, wood panelling and plastic Muzak in the casinos. Thank God it’s an MST movie, though, and not something I’d actually have to visit ever again.
“That was a great scene.”
I guess this proves the what is great to some does nothing for others. This is right behind Hamlet as a least favorite episode to me.
Frankenhooker!!
Don’t run with that wing(and sharpen those planes!!)
NOT AN ACT-TOR
And now for my weekend BBQ forecast
Should have taken NONE minutes
CORN DE-TASSELING?
Shut up Iris!!
Great riffs
They nailed this movie with the riff. It’s decidedly bold.
Starfighters is the type of episode you watch once and that’s it. This “movie” was a terrible choice by MST. It’s a complete dud.
Horrible movie, but hilarious riffing! I’m always impressed with the United Servo Academy Men’s Chorus segment. The amount of work that must have gone into that is just amazing. Plus Kevin really does have a wonderful singing voice.
“I once showed this episode to my brother, who was an Air Force pilot. He hated it.”
Did he hate it because it was a crappy movie featuring the Air Force, or because the guys were taking the piss out of the Air Force? My father-in-law was Air Force, and I always wondered what he’d think of this episode.
I think Jim Mallon, on This is MST3K, or something else, said it best when he stated that the movies they riff need to have some semblance of a plot, so there’s a through line and something for the writers to comment on.
Which is precisely why this, Skydivers, and the Coleman Francis movies make for ponderous, dull episodes. I remember watching this as it first aired and thinking they had actually run out of ‘real’ bad movies to do.
If I ever watch all episodes in order again, I will pop it in. Otherwise I can’t think of a reason why I’d ever choose this episode over any other one to watch.
Tom’s chorus was neat though.
I wish the starfighters would blow up blossom!! and joey lawrence and mark walberg and the back street boys!!!!
This is my favorite episode. I find the movie itself oddly fascinating by how boring it really is. This is the perfect movie for the show, IMO.
One simple riff that slays me every time:
Senator Witkowski: Good morning, Colonel Hunt. You’re a hard man to find.
Mike (as Colonel Hunt): Sarah?
As Mike puts it, there’s so much “nothing” in this movie, and I think that forced them to come up with riffs for just about every line of dialogue. Can you imagine how hard it must have been for them to sit through this a half dozen times, just trying to come up with and tweak 700 jokes? In the end, though, I think they really succeeded. This one’s a true classic.
Only MST3K could introduce a film like The Starfighters to any sort of public consciousness. Yet another reason to love this show.
Hilarious host segments, great riffing and one of the most boring “films” I’ve ever seen.
Great episode.
As dull as this movie is, and as awful as Bob Dornan is, one could look at The Starfighters as an anti-nuclear weapons movie. It’s whole point is to show-off, and make a case for, the individual fighter jet and fighter jet pilot and conflict between the fighter pilot and father who’s got a hard-on for long range bombers and atomic weapons.
“Sergeant here is dressed in what’s known as a Poopie Suit.”
M&TB: “POOPIE SUIT?!”
“Now don’t ask me why they call it that.”
People often mention the refueling segments, but the Poopie Suit sequence is actually the only moment I remember from this episode. For a boring, eventless film, the Poopie Suit thing does kinda come out of nowhere.
Crow: “Alright, Men! Poop!”
The format of the United Servo Academy Men’s Chorus would get reused in Quest of the Delta Knights, which also features a bunch of Servos singing with Mike imitating Bill McGlaughlin and the whole thing devolving into more raucous fare.
@133. I like that Poopie Suit scene because they all know why it’s called a “poopie suit”, but can’t say why because they’re in a movie.
IT’S BOOOOOLD!
In my memory, this was a middle of the road episode. After re-watching it last night, I’ve changed my mind, this is a GREAT episode. Sure, the movie is dull as doornails, but the riffing is spot on, I liken this one to Monster A Go-Go, a movie so bad that the riffing gets great! (Unlike Castle of Fu Manchu, which is a boring movie and the riffing matches).
The BBQ sauce opening is, of course, great. (“It’s decidedly UN-bold.”). I used to quote it all the time, and now that I’ve re-watched this, I’m going to start proclaiming all my sauces to be BOLD! The Host Segments are all solid too, particularly the Tom Servo Choir (nice harmonies, Kevin!).
In regards to HS#1, the refueling skit,. . . . .um. . . . Crow puts his beak into, uh, Servo’s butt. Uh…….and when he does, um, Servo makes a noise. Like, a “pleasure” noise. I’m not being judgey. It’s just. . . . . . strange.
The “poopie suit” segment of the movie is without a doubt, the best part. It’s so juvenile, but so hilarious. It comes at a time when I might start thinking about checking out of the episode, as it IS a rather boring movie, but those “poopie suit” jokes start coming and it leaves me rolling, keeps me going to the end of the episode.
Also, I grew up in Southern Illinois, surounded by cornfields, so corn detasseling is something I am VERY familiar with. Never thought it would take up so much conversation in a movie though.
Also also, way up there at #27, Joseph Nebus mentions that The Starfighters is a ripoff of a movie called X-15. Last night, after I finished watching Starfighters, I flipped over to the THIS! Channel and what movie just happened to be on?? Why, it was X-15, which I had not seen, and I watched about 30 minutes of it, and I was “hmm, this is weird. It’s kind of like Starfighters…” So I agree with Nebus; rip-OFF!
RIFFS:
Mike: “I’m sorry, that’s never happened to me..”
Servo: “It’s okay, we can just snuggle…”
Crow: “The refueling jet thinks I’m cuuuuuute!” —-Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer reference
Crow: “In the SACK?!”
Crow: “We’re going to have “the sex”.”
Crow: “17 and a half scotches later…”
Servo: “The new Air Force goofy bomb, from Whammo.”
Mike: “Yeah, go ahead and laugh….they got a kitty in that bomb.”
Servo: “FRANKENHOOKER!”
Servo: “Did they ever consider this WASN’T riveting?”
Mike: “The Air Force recommends crank!”
Mike: “Eegah.”
Crow: “WATCH OUT FOR SNAKES!”
and of course,
POOPIE SUIT!
In fact,
I give The Starfighters
4 out of 5 poopie suits!
:poop: :airplane: :poop: :airplane:
I’m glad a lot of people like this one, but even the riffs couldn’t save it for me. Saw it once, and never again.
Between this and Last of the Wild Horses, it made two episodes in a row with poop jokes.
Tom: Class? Class? Shut up!!! (in a shrill female[?] teacher voice)
I got much love for this episode. My favorite character? The dark-haired officer with the eyebrows who sometimes looks despondant, as if he’s about to cry. When I watch this I somehow imagine that these characters actually have lives (controlling dad, single gal living with parents, that guy who gets rescued by a helicopter and is probably called a sissy for it by his peers later that night, frustrated high ranking officer who couldn’t hit a single target during training). It’s a figment of my imagination that this film actually has a plot, though.
I found this movie’s complete lack of action fascinating. Nothing remotely dangerous or even much of anything happens at all. I usually hate episodes where the movie is this lifeless but this time I found myself entranced by the complete absence of action. A lot of great riffing has already been summed up by others but this interaction in the intro sums up many conversations my wife and I have had when I buy more electronics stuff.
Tom: “So you think that’ll make you happy huh?”
Crow (very emphatically): “Yes!”
It was a blast to the past seeing Servo’s choir as I used to work in a TV station doing the sign off shift where we would a tape with the national anthem that had lots of Air Force footage and looked very similar to the video background used in that host segment.
Why was the father so upset at his son? :/
Absolutely a great episode. A top 5 favorite episode. IT’S BOLD!
If I could buy one piece of MST memorabilia, it would be the prop for Cowboy Mike’s Own Original Red Hot Ricochet Barbecue Sauce, now available in new Extra Bold!
Other than the refueling and the Servo chorus, this episode SUCKS. The movie is dull beyond the capacity for them to come up with enough decent riffs. Boring in the extreme. Ugh.
Don #141> Because the father was a bomber pilot and the son is a fighter jock. One thing I learned from reading Chuck Yeager’s autobiography is there is a very real rivalry/divide between the two. So the son ending up on the other side would be akin to Rush Limbaugh having a son who turned out to be an extreme liberal.
My favorite riff was the squeaking car springs when they’re out on the double date. This episode is just fine by me. Great riffing of a crappy film.
#145 – Well, it doesn’t appear so much to be a “rivalry/divide” thing going on with Senator Dad. He seems to be obsessed about the safety record of the bomber service being so much better than that for the jet jockeys. This makes sense, since, well, Pilot Son is his son and he’s concerned about him crashing and dying or blowing up and dying or something else that involves dying.
I am saddened and ashamed that I did not comment the last time this ep came up in the discussion rotation.
Let me say:
“Starfighters” is one of the most amazing movies ever made. It is an absolute perfect fit for this show.
In the very best episodes of MST, there is always that one moment that crystallizes the wonder of an epically awful (but completely and 100% earnest) movie, and in this movie, for me, it’s the “corn detassling” line, specifically when the future senator (what’s his name? Paul Ryan?) repeats it back to Corn-Fed Iowa Chick in his completely flummoxed delivery.
Sublime.
Once I got to that point in the movie the first time I watched it, I was in love, fully and unconditionally. And the rest of it does not disappoint. I am particularly fond of the 3rd-act “conflict” that you can very well fail to recognize as a conflict at all until it has pretty much resolved itself (I am, of course, referring to the way the three doofus pilots handle the storm – I guess we’re supposed to be impressed by how awesomely Paul Ryan handles the situation, and feel nothing but white hot scorn for the way the other guy ditches his plane and has to get bailed out by the chopper crew, but really, it’s hard to muster up anything more than a big shrug to this development. I mean, I don’t get all impressed when people successfully parallel park, nor do I express much more than mild derision for those who can’t quite get it right).
What else is awesome about this movie? Everything! But just to mention one thing: all the phone booth conversations. Just…what the hell? I think they’re supposed to be…funny, maybe? Oh they are, but not in the way intended by the filmmakers.
Let me say in closing: I love “Starfighters.” The finest hour (er, 90 minutes) of the 6th season. I mean, who couldn’t love the United Servo Academy Men’s Chorus?
#136 – Servo appears to have, uh, pleasure receptors, uh, “down there.” Let us not forget his decompression experience in MST3K: TM.
@149 — That Servo is a dirty bird…