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Weekend Discussion Thread: MSTed Movie Characters that Got a Raw Deal

“Duke of Puddles” suggests:

What characters got the short end of the stick? I’m torn because while Carrie from ‘Girl from Lover’s Lane’ and the ‘marked one’ from ‘Mole People.’ They didn’t deserve to die, but WAS a life of being shackled to either Big Stupid or John Agar that much of a life?

Name yours.

And if you have thread ideas, send them to msampo at aol dot com.

58 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: MSTed Movie Characters that Got a Raw Deal”

  1. Yeti of Great Danger says:

    Rawest of the raw deals: little Debbie in Manos, hands down (or should I say manos abajo). Had a moron for a dad, her dog gets killed, and then she ends up a child bride for a demon. The only bright spot is that in real life, the actress who played her was the only one who got paid for the film; she got a bicycle and everyone else got nothing.

       34 likes

  2. jay says:

    Boggy Creek II –

    How about the guy in the outhouse who got scared by The Creature? He literally got the sh-t end of that deal. Ha!

       23 likes

  3. Scott Strong says:

    Kyle from Hobgoblins. Talk about bad dates. Fantasia tries to push him of a cliff. Then, just when it looks like he’s finally going to get to hook up with Daphne, French army Nick comes back after throwing himself on a grenade. Then he has to watch the van bounce around while Nick and Daph do the nasty. Geesh!

       17 likes

  4. snowdog says:

    Pretty much everyone who isn’t Coleman Francis in Red Zone Cuba.

       16 likes

  5. gf120581 says:

    snowdog:
    Pretty much everyone who isn’t Coleman Francis in Red Zone Cuba.

    Also Beth from “Skydivers.” Loses husband, doesn’t end up with other guy, gives up business…another cheerful Coleman Francis character!

       17 likes

  6. fatbarkeep says:

    What about TORCHA! guy from “Teenagers From Outer Space?” He never got to TORCHA! anybody. And that’s pretty sad for a TORCHA! guy.
    *walks away humming the theme song from Zoobilee Zoo*

       10 likes

  7. McLargeHuge says:

    Little Sandy will never get over the trauma of “Jazz pianist” Tom trying to kill her at the lighthouse in Tormented. I’m sure Sandy’s still talking about Vi to her therapist.

       20 likes

  8. gf120581 says:

    McLargeHuge:
    Little Sandy will never get over the trauma of “Jazz pianist” Tom trying to kill her at the lighthouse in Tormented. I’m sure Sandy’s still talking about Vi to her therapist.

    She’s heavily medicated these days for sure. Sucks since she’s by far the best character in the movie.

       13 likes

  9. IR5 says:

    Greta in Mitchell- she took more than one for the team- wants a little medication to forget the trauma, and, winds up going to jail.

       15 likes

  10. davidmello says:

    How about the army from Monster a Go Go who found out there was no monster, and there was no movie, really?

       12 likes

  11. DarkGrandmaofDeath says:

    Joey the Lemur from King Dinosaur. Poor little guy got picked up by some of the stupidest humans to walk ANY planet, treated like a socialite’s exotic pet, endangered by being taken to an island full of “dinosaurs” and other scary beasts, then exposed to intense radiation at close range. And then he was memorialized with the “Joey the Lemur” song. Ouch!

       12 likes

  12. The hippie girl from “Pod People”. The only thing she really did wrong was get flirtatious with the lead male singer who was already involved with another woman (which she didn’t seem to fully grasp at first), and her punishment is to lose her balance, fall off a cliff, get paralyzed, and then one of the aliens ends her life completely. That’s dark, man.

       16 likes

  13. Certainly the girl at the end of The Mole People. Absolutely preposterous that Universal killed her off because they considered her relationship with John Agar “interracial” and offensive to some people. Then there is poor Paul at the end of Track of the Moon Beast. All he wanted was a lady dressed in pink and Johnny Longbone’s stew (made with corn, beef, green peppers, *sigh*, chilies…), but dies due to no fault of his own. Life in an MST3K movie can be so cruel…

    Be sure to click my name to see my ongoing project: MST3K Filming Locations Then and Now. (click each photo for a detailed description.)

       20 likes

  14. skrag2112 says:

    Those two boys from ‘Revenge Of The Creature’ who were talking about going to college, then the creature kills them.
    Guess it’s no college for them.

       13 likes

  15. Maury Firestein: Kosher Game Warden from The Creeping Terror. Getting eaten by carpet remnants is the last thing you expect to happen when you go fishing.

       10 likes

  16. Scott Strong says:

    Yongary. Was there really a less dignified way to die than his death spasms and anal bleeding?

       20 likes

  17. Kenneth Morgan says:

    Of course, this sort of thing goes back to the KTMA days. Remember “Hangar 18”? The shuttle astronauts get wrongly cited for negligence in the death of their fellow crewmember. And, in order to cover up the alien ship, the scientists studying it get targeted by their own government, and the ones not actually in the ship get blown up. The only upside is that the survivors will have grounds for one monster lawsuit.

       7 likes

  18. stanmcserr says:

    What about Poor Yorick from Hamlet? They dig up his body and Hamlet then feels he needs to play with his skull. Does Yorick want to be mixed up with the Danish royal screwiness? Let him rest in peace Hammy.

       12 likes

  19. Farmland says:

    Jeanne from The Rebel Set. Married to a lazy (and untalented) moron, gets her hopes lifted, and then has to walk away alone as her idiot husband is hauled off to jail. Ouch.

       14 likes

  20. gf120581 says:

    I forgot one obvious one; Depressing Dad from “High School Big Shot” (which I finally saw recently and has quickly become a favorite of mine). Not Marv (“Fish Lips”); he’s an idiot who brought what happened to him on himself (don’t tell the girl your heist plan BEFORE the heist, you dimwit), but it’s hard not to feel bad for Depressing Dad. Poor guy doesn’t even know why bad things always happen to him. But Crow does:

    “I don’t get it, son. I can’t catch a break.”

    “I get drunk, vomit, pass out and don’t get hired.”

       13 likes

  21. Droppo says:

    Poor Paul from Track of the Moonbeast, the greatest man in the world!

       10 likes

  22. jay says:

    Episode 1102 CRY WILDERNESS –

    Alas, the poor raccoon. Choked and abused by a homocidal maniac. I almost hope he had rabies so he could bite and infect that mesh shirt wearing dickweed!

       14 likes

  23. bartcow says:

    Lt. Lamont from Space Mutiny. She was murdered and STILL had to show up for work the next day.

       42 likes

  24. jjk50 says:

    DarkGrandmaofDeath: King Dinosaur

    “Joey the Lemur from King Dinosaur. Poor little guy got picked up by some of the stupidest humans to walk ANY planet, treated like a socialite’s exotic pet, endangered by being taken to an island full of “dinosaurs” and other scary beasts, then exposed to intense radiation at close range. And then he was memorialized with the “Joey the Lemur” song. Ouch!”

    Besides everything that happened to him “Joey” wasn’t even a Lemur.

       7 likes

  25. Sitting Duck says:

    I’d go with Talua from First Spaceship on Venus. The forced departure of the spaceship was beyond the crew’s control. But Talua had no way of knowing that as he screamed in impotent fury.

    Loran Alan Davis: Be sure to click my name to see my ongoing project: MST3K Filming Locations Then and Now.

    Is it possible to label them? It’s not always obvious which still is from which episode.

       4 likes

  26. MonkeyPretzel says:

    Every single character and extra that died in Avalanche, when Rock Hudson lived.

       8 likes

  27. Sitting Duck:
    I’d go with Talua from First Spaceship on Venus. The forced departure of the spaceship was beyond the crew’s control. But Talua had no way of knowing that as he screamed in impotent fury.

    Is it possible to label them? It’s not always obvious which still is from which episode.

    When you go to the album, click each photo and you will get a detailed description.

       3 likes

  28. EricJ says:

    I always felt bad for the Daquiri Swilling Tractor Manufacturer in Invasion U.S.A. who got Peggy Castle swooped on by Mr. Smooth Radio News Announcer.

       8 likes

  29. Son of Peanut says:

    Jan in the Pan. To quote the bots:
    “Her fiance’s mental and she’s lost her independence.”
    “Not to mention trying to minimize a major figure flaw.”

       10 likes

  30. Son of Peanut says:

    Chris from Revenge of the Creature and Sparkles from Merlin’s Shop. Why did the poor dogs have to die when John Agar’s pompous scientist character and the angry psychic lady both got to live?

       11 likes

  31. goalieboy82 says:

    skrag2112:
    Those two boys from ‘Revenge Of The Creature’ who were talking about going to college, then the creature kills them.
    Guess it’s no college for them.

    would also say the German Shepherd too.

       7 likes

  32. goalieboy82 says:

    the fans in 1999 when the show was cancelled.

       11 likes

  33. Raigely says:

    Let’s all not forget the fact that in Sidehackers, Rita’s fate was so violent and harsh that they couldn’t even show it on television.

       12 likes

  34. Clint Keene says:

    Linda Evans got the short end in ‘Mitchell’ – if you catch my drift… nudge, nudge.

    I’ll see myself out.

       8 likes

  35. thequietman says:

    How about Lena from “Parts: the Clonus Horror”? A random encounter on a bike path eventually leads to her getting lobotomized for something she doesn’t even know happened (she never finds out Richard stole the tape that exposes Clonus). Plus, there are some scenes that got cut for time that show her getting browbeaten by Professor Darren and Dr. Super Mario Brother and a disturbing dream sequence where we see her actually getting the lobotomy. I think it’s supposed to parallel the “I like mittens!” shot on the tape Richard steals, but believe me, it’s good old-fashioned nightmare fuel.

       4 likes

  36. Captain Howdy says:

    Russell Johnson in This Island Earth. Always hard to watch.

       6 likes

  37. Cornjob says:

    The cat that got roasted in Merlin’s Shop sure got a raw deal, even if it he got cooked.

    Speaking of which, the human sacrifice girl at the funeral for the dead prince in Viking Women vs the Sea Serpent probably didn’t volunteer for the task.

       9 likes

  38. goalieboy82 says:

    Scott Strong:
    Yongary. Was there really a less dignified way to die than his death spasms and anal bleeding?

    brings a whole new meaning to the blood of Uranus.

       8 likes

  39. goalieboy82 says:

    MonkeyPretzel:
    Every single character and extra that died in Avalanche, when Rock Hudson lived.

    no but he did die later.

       0 likes

  40. skrag2112 says:

    bartcow:
    Lt. Lamont from Space Mutiny. She was murdered and STILL had to show up for work the next day.

    You win this thread, bartcow.

       12 likes

  41. RedZoneTuba says:

    The first mate in The Killer Shrews. Sadly, his expertise in “Dixieland Jazz” was no use to him as he was attacked and killed by shrews after being left alone with the boat while all the white people took refuge in the mad doctor’s house.

       12 likes

  42. goalieboy82 says:

    RedZoneTuba:
    The first mate in The Killer Shrews.Sadly, his expertise in “Dixieland Jazz” was no use to him as he was attacked and killed by shrews after being left alone with the boat while all the white people took refuge in the mad doctor’s house.

    i think i something subliminal in that.

       0 likes

  43. Cornjob:
    The cat that got roasted in Merlin’s Shop sure got a raw deal, even if it he got cooked.
    Speaking of which, the human sacrifice girl at the funeral for the dead prince in Viking Women vs the Sea Serpent probably didn’t volunteer for the task.

    The only thing worse than Merlin’s roasted cat or the Viking sacrificial girl, would be the sacrificial cat, handed over to the aliens in “12 to the Moon”.
    Come to think of it, MOST of the animals on the ship looked like they knew they were in for something they hadn’t signed up for.

       4 likes

  44. goalieboy82 says:

    Coily the Spring Sprite. he waited for all eternity for the wish and then he backs out.

       7 likes

  45. Ray Dunakin says:

    Coily’s victim got a pretty raw deal too. All he did was make one little comment in a moment of frustration, a comment that he surely did not intend to be taken seriously. So what happens? He gets visited by a demented, if not outright demonic, spright, who subjects him to the hellish world of “No springs!” until he begs to have order restored to the world. The trauma turns him into fanatic, annoying his friends with his evangelical preaching of the gospel of springs.

    The short ends there, but it’s clear that the poor guy would eventually drive away all his friends and family, and probably winds up homeless, wandering the streets wearing a tinfoil hat, ranting and muttering non-stop about springs.

       11 likes

  46. Cornjob says:

    Mike from The Thing that Couldn’t Die was only a pawn in game of life. He didn’t deserve to be possessed by an evil head. And his hands were strong. And he could dig really square holes. Poor guy.

    The dog in The Deadly Bees is another sad animal casualty of a bad movie. And if his meat wasn’t cooked he got a doubly raw deal.

    The ingredients in Johnny Longbone’s stew. They did nothing to deserve being turned in to a stew. Or did they?

       2 likes

  47. Cornjob says:

    Thanks for removing the time limit on editing our posts.

       4 likes

  48. bartcow says:

    Loran Alan Davis: When you go to the album, click each photo and you will get a detailed description.

    That is an amazing project. Well done!

       3 likes

  49. The girl in the opening of “The Beast of Yucca Flats”? She was minding her own business in her motel room, then gets strangled and (probably) raped for no apparent reason and with no subsequent effect on the plot. Of course everything in “The Beast of Yucca Flats” happens for no apparent reason and with no subsequent effect on the plot, so maybe she could be considered lucky that she got out of that movie with so little suffering.

       7 likes

  50. goalieboy82 says:

    the fans when it comes to the movies that wont be on DVD.

       2 likes

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