I’M SICK!!!
I have beebn in bed for days with this horrible chest cold. So, please, somebody sing me “Soft kitty” and tell me a good ep to watch while sick.
Have we done this? Too bad! I’m sick!
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Weekend Discussion Thread: Episodes for SicknessSee, I have this great immune system. I never get sick, haven’t gotten sick in years. So I never have to worry about getting sick–until I do.
45 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Episodes for Sickness”Commenting at Satellite News
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Boy, Sampo, you must be sick. You’re delirious, because it’s only Friday and you’re posting the WDT. THAT’S OK. Soft kitty, soft kitty…
I think good episodes are ones where you don’t have to think too hard about what the hell people are doing, or why. Also, there are episodes that, as sick as you are, make you realize your life could be much worse. So I recommend “I Accuse My Parents,” “I Was a Teenage Werewolf” (it’s on YouTube, last I checked), “The Violent Years,” and “Horror at Party Beach.” Hmmm, those are all black and white, for some reason. Well, some color ones would be “Avalanche” and “Starcrash” from Season 11, although those strike me as less mindless.
Get well soon!
Wow, Sampo… feel better! Not sure if you just wanted to get this done today or you are too sick to know its not Saturday; I sure HOPE it’s not the latter.
Take two Season 3 episodes – I’d recommend “Pod People” and “Time of the Apes” – and call me in the morning.
And, sorry, I don’t know Soft Kitty… can you hum a few bars?
I also never get sick, but my kid and I were both down with the flu all week.
I watched Mighty Jack, The Unearthly, and Castle of Fu Manchu is one sitting.
Coleman Francis films are kind of like fever-dreams anyway, so that might go well with illness.
Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty
Little ball of fur
Happy Kitty, Sleepy Kitty
Purr, purr, purr
But the cats I have it’s more like
Sharp Kitty, Warm Kitty
Little ball of fur
Happy Kitty, Pointy Kitty
Purr, purr, purr
The Hellcats has Vapor Action! Too bad it’s not a fun movie, because they are the best ones to watch when you’re not feeling well. Stuff with a lot of action and not a lot of dialogue, like the Gameras or Time of the Apes or the Fugitive Aliens.
When I was sick, I used to watch daytime TV until I passed out, waking up occasionally to find new episodes or even new shows on, wondering if they were somehow connected. So for you, I recommend a playlist of episodes featuring television movies. Code Name: Diamond Head, Riding with Death, Stranded in Space, the two Master Ninjas, and my personal favorite: San Francisco International. Try to write down your disparate notes when you come in and out of your fever dreams and imagine the story you come up with.
Maybe you’ll regale others with the story of an astronaut who crashed to earth, hitchiking with a trucker whose transporting a new type of fuel, but when the truck explodes, he hitches with a guy looking for his daughter, and tries to book a flight out of San Francisco to Hawaii, all to find Lovejoy!
MST3K episodes to watch when you’re sick? But what if you start associating that episode with being sick? Then you’ll never want to return to that episode…
“Castle of Fu Manchu? Oh no, I feel my stomach churning again…”
I wish I could like this post about a hundred times. I am so doing this the next time I’m sick and drugged up with Nyquil.
For a severe chest cold, I would recommend a quart of codeine and few chapters of GENERAL HOSPITOL.
Track of the Moon Beast. That way, you can say to yourself “I may be sick, but I’m 90% sure I’m not turning into a were-lizard”.
Boggy Creek II –
It’s in color. It’s as mindless as a stadium full of insane hog callers. The mention of bologna sandwiches and beans will remind you that you are not the only one suffering. The one problem is that the outhouse scene may not be helpful if the “Rocky Mountain quick step” is one of your symptoms. Have someone lovingly apply Vick’s Vaporub and really just relax.
“Hamlet” makes for a good, deep snooze, much needed for these ill nights. Might make your NyQuil dreams disappointingly bland and dreary though.
“Incredibly Strange Creatures”.
Get better soon, Chris!
Colossus and The Headhunters- more for the host segments than anything. Nummy Muffin Coocol Butter makes everything all better.
If you have any of the Shorts Collections that might work. That way if you fall asleep you don’t have to worry about missing any vital plot information. A personal favorite of mine is Racket Girls. The riffing is awesome and the host bits with Tom and Crow’s wedding is hysterical. Hope you feel better soon.
but there was no sick monster…
i try to watch when i am sick (not feeling good), a Gamera film.
The Day The Earth Froze –
Stay away from this one, Sampo, cuz you sure don’t want the stuff in your nose freezing up when you’ve got a cold!
I made a DVD of my favorite host segments/bits/shorts for a MST-themed party I threw years ago. It’s about 3 hours long, so it’s twice as long as a single episode, and since it’s broken into chunks, it’s perfect for drifting in and out of consciousness to. Of course, that doesn’t help you at all…
Otherwise, I’d pick one with bad sound and just sort of watch the images float by. Like Killer Shrews or Monster a Go-Go or Batwoman.
The KTMA episodes where somebody sneezes. Can’t remember which ones! Joel and the bots are right there with ya buddy! :)
get well soon Sampo:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grbSQ6O6kbs
I’d recommend Final Sacrifice, though you may end up contracting Hockey Hair or Grizzled Old Prospector Syndrome, so be careful.
You may need to induce vomiting.
I suggest ‘Hobgoblins’.
Yeah, I instinctively checked the desktop calendar too, but we’ll put it down to “Medical emergency”.
You’ll probably want a bedtime story, so the fairytale movies (Day the Earth Froze, Jack Frost) are probably good watching before the long Nyquil-induced naps.
Either that, or let the Marlene Dietrich bird from “Magic Voyage of Sinbad” sing you to sleep by the third host segment. If it’s a fever, nothing makes sense anyway, so it’s no loss.
70’s disaster or scifi is always good if you want cool stuff to happen without thinking too deeply about why.
no go with chocolate milk with pickle juice.
Uh, he said he had a cold, he’s not pregnant.
(Although our local legendary ice-cream spot did develop a Pickles & Cream flavor. Not as bad as what Joel might consider a good Ipecac, but still ehh.)
I think you need a story that won’t keep you awake with too much excitement. “Radar Secret Service” should help you get the rest you need.
Get well soon, Sampo!
I just wanted to mention I appreciate the hard work and effort you and Erdhardt put into this wonderful website.
Drink plenty of fluids and try to breath in some steam.
To induce vomiting, try Johnny Longbone’s Homemade Stew, followed by “California Laaaaadddyyyyy” musical epicac.
Oh, I’m sorry to hear you’re sick, Sampo. Hope you feel better soon!
To help you recuperate, I’d recommend you take two episodes, I Accuse My Parents and Daddy-O. You’ll get strong riffing to build up your immune system, plenty of funky songs to soothe your aching head, Mary Beth Hughes and Dick Contino to ease your eyes, silly plots, lots of lies, booze, drag racing, and pants hiked high enough to keep your stomach snug.
Just relax while watching, and I’ll bring you some cheesy chicken soup in the morning.
On reflection, yeah… I guess the obvious choice of a soothing & comforting MST3k ep for Sampo is “The Day the Earth Froze”.
I would see a doctor: since you have a head cold, how about Bill from “The Brain That Wouldn’t Die”? He could pop on a new, uncongested head in no time.
Oh, go with sympathetic magic. The Slime People. You could get a Mr. Mucus doll from Mucinex (yes, they exist) and put it in the microwave.
Then you can focus on Judee Morton to remind you that on the other side, there are still things that are cute, perky, and made of pure sunshine in the world.
See? You feel better already.
If you’re sick to your stomach and feeling queasy, probably the worst one to watch would be “The Incredible Melting Man”. That movie’d make a well man nauseous! Even if inducing vomiting is a goal, it might make you think you’re melting while throwing up (especially if feverish at the same time).
Jeez, the weekend discussion is going to get pushed off the first page before the end of the weekend.
I think this better describes my “soft kitty”:
Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty,
with the gaping maw;
Hungry Kitty, Pissy Kitty,
Scratch, hack, claw.
Litter-boxing stinky kitty,
Harbinger of death,
violence and guts and gore,
rodents on his breath.
Hope you feel better Sampo.
Get yourself some Robitussin, Benadryl, and Nyquil (combine them) and watch The Incredibly Strange Creatures….
…and try not to freak out.
Teenagers From Outer Space –
Grandpa’s solution to both a cold and extraterrestrial lobster shadow wranglers invading his town? Nyquiladas.
Watch “The Undead” and you’ll learn your sickness is only in your mind.
You can at least spend time forgetting your sickness wondering why Allison Hayes has a zipper……
Those three?? Sounds like you were down for the count and not wanting caring to rally!
Getting a colonoscopy in two days– I figure Girl’s Town is good, can empathize with Gypsy’s invasive umbili-port.
Being from Another Planet, the scenes from the mummy’s perspective already feel like an anesthetic fugue state
“Parts”: The Clonus Horror
Wistfully imagine your clone’s large intestine being purged and probed instead of your own
I didn’t have my glasses on, so I had my wife start from a random point on Hulu. I got unlucky.
Having sat through a similar purge–and not being told until later that you’re allowed to add Crystal Light lemonade pitcher-packs to that gallon of “water” you’re supposed to drink–I know EXACTLY which MST3K to watch the night before:
Mr. B’s Lost Shorts. You won’t have time for anything else.
A lot of these movies are like getting a colonoscopy. The actual procedure is bad enough, but the prep is a thousand times worse: “Stay together cheeks … !” During the last one I got, when I came to briefly in the middle of the procedure, I told the doc and nurses that they could keep whatever they found. They responded with a dignified, contemptuous silence, but at least they had the class to not throw it in my face afterwards. (Eeew, bad choice of words . . . )
If you’re at the age where you’re getting a colonoscopy, the local drugstore probably won’t look twice if you pick up a package of Depends. Just for that one use, and just in case.
Another post-tip I learned after a lot of laundry.
It’s good to keep a sense of humor throughout, to stay on the bright side–
I read the disclaimer that some scraping of cells might be classified as a “minor surgical procedure”, and, relieved (and with an utter straight face) asked, “Oh, then, it wouldn’t be like some major operating-room procedure, where I’d have to come in to the hospital for a week and have half my colon taken out?….And then I’d just be left with only a semi-colon?”