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Weekend Discussion Thread: Back to School

A reader writes in with this:

All the stores are in full back-to-school mode this time of year. So, what’s your favorite school or school-related riff?
I’ve got to go with the classic, yet sadly true, “You know, school always smells the same when you go back. Smells like shame, guilt, and humiliation,” from Teenagers from Outer Space, when Derek and Betty go in the “college,” which is quite obviously a high school.

The first one that came to mind, from “Cheating:”
Miss Granby: I’m afraid I’ll have to give you both a zero on the test.
Johnny (sullen and sarcastic) Yawohl, mein Fuhrer.

What’s your pick?

69 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Back to School”

  1. jay says:

    Time of the Apes –

    “I don’t care!” Repeatedly spoken by the shrill little boy and also the retort every teacher hears when confronting a student over a misdeed.
    (Hint – they really, really do care)

       3 likes

  2. Lawgiver says:

    The Original EricJ: B-but…he’s the head writer!Head writers write EVERYTHING, out of their very head, and the ground springs forth its flowers and rich bounty from the very imprint of their foot!;)

    You’re right, Mike is a great writer. Smartest thing they ever did was hire him.

       16 likes

  3. Lawgiver says:

    I guess host segments don’t count, since the post asks for riffs, but I just love the host segment that comes from the “Cheating” short.

       4 likes

  4. bartcow says:

    touches no one's life, then leaves: That kind of thing tends to ever so faintly annoy me. When I was in college, I had classes in which nearly half of the students were noticeably over twenty, or forty. People go to college at the full range of adult age. Oh well.

    “Mr. B. Natural’s in one of those lockers!”

    Very true, but in my experience, most adult students don’t live in the dorms with the 20-somethings. Lord have mercy, why would they want to?

    And yes, I just implied that 20-somethings weren’t adults. Just because you can drink and vote don’t mean a thing. If I had a time machine, I’d go back to meet my 21 year old self, smack him in the jowls and yell “SNAP OUT OF IT, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD”. But that’s just me.

       3 likes

  5. bartcow says:

    Suffice to say I wasn’t popular

    YOU DON’T SAY.

       6 likes

  6. Terry the Sensitive Knight says:

    Really surprised the HS from “What To Do On A Date” hasn’t gotten more love

    Bike trips! Weenie roasts! Square dances! Taffy pulls! This school sounds like a rockin’ good time for all!!!

    (Or the lamest, squarest school ever. It’s hard to decide…)

       6 likes

  7. mando3b says:

    Terry the Sensitive Knight:
    Really surprised the HS from “What To Do On A Date” hasn’t gotten more love

    Bike trips! Weenie roasts! Square dances! Taffy pulls! This school sounds like a rockin’ good time for all!!!

    (Or the lamest, squarest school ever. It’s hard to decide…)

    One generation’s rockin’ good time for all is another generation’s lamest, squarest ever. That’s one reason why we have MST3K. Another thing that hasn’t been mentioned yet is the Crow leitmotif “pansed and dragged around the track”. Pansing was still a rite of passage when I was growing up, but then the ’60s happened and other leitmotifs were born (“Duh, hey, Spicer, I’m here for the dope . . . “).

       1 likes

  8. bartcow: Very true, but in my experience, most adult students don’t live in the dorms with the 20-somethings. Lord have mercy, why would they want to?

    Depends on whether it was a city college, and you grew up in the suburbs having to take commuter-trains back and forth. ‘Nuff said.

    And yes, I just implied that 20-somethings weren’t adults. Just because you can drink and vote don’t mean a thing. If I had a time machine, I’d go back to meet my 21 year old self, smack him in the jowls and yell “SNAP OUT OF IT, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD”. But that’s just me.

    Like I said, ever wonder why people keep talking about “18-24 demographics”, or “the profitable 14-24 teen demographic”?
    I’m not sure whether Adult Sanity ever actually does snap into operation, slap your younger self in the head, and embark on its five-year plan to turn you into your parents, at exactly 12:01 am on your 25th birthday, but it’s sure pretty close to the ballpark.

    Yep, that’s when the ol’ Logan’s Run palm-crystal turns red.

       1 likes

  9. goalieboy82 says:

    off topic, but go 14 minutes in:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5J-FKmc9sc
    you can see where SCCTM took some of the clips from (goes until 20 minutes)

       1 likes

  10. Gary Weaver says:

    Why study industrial arts… the smell of sawdust, the steady whine of the table saw,the Pirceing scream of a freshman.

       7 likes

  11. GareChicago says:

    The Original EricJ:
    (Fortunately, we had an old historic converted YMCA that still had solo dorms–You can guess how well I’d do with a roommate.)

    Suffice to say I wasn’t popular

    It’s so refreshing that even *you* see what a dickweed you are.

    Delete your account.

    Gare

       9 likes

  12. mst3kme says:

    Gare:

    Unfortunately, Eric J. isn’t going to delete his account.

    He likes making a scene of himself.

    It’s better to use your energy for more constructive purposes than to engage with a troll.

    GareChicago: It’s so refreshing that even *you* see what a dickweed you are.

    Delete your account.

    Gare

       7 likes

  13. mst3kme:
    It’s better to use your energy for more constructive purposes than to engage with a troll.

    Like, for example, post obsequious Rifftrax plugs out of all possible context, and have everyone stare baffled at you for bringing the conversation to a halt! ;)

       1 likes

  14. Lawgiver says:

    The Original EricJ: Like, for example, post obsequious Rifftrax plugs out of all possible context, and have everyone stare baffled at you for bringing the conversation to a halt!;)

    Please don’t presume to speak for “everyone” else.

       11 likes

  15. mst3kme says:

    Eric J.:

    I’ve commented here about other MST3K/Rifftrax/Cinematic Titanic topics and matters.

    Also, unlike you, I’m a nice person.

    The Original EricJ: Like, for example, post obsequious Rifftrax plugs out of all possible context, and have everyone stare baffled at you for bringing the conversation to a halt!;)

       9 likes

  16. mando3b:
    Sigh . . . I have been in love with the winsome, naughty-naughty college girl from Body Care & Grooming for lo these many years. Her smile is freely given and lights up the room; the modesty with which she showers fully-clothed is so refreshing; and I love the way she tells the narrator to please leave her dorm room. She’s beautiful even when disheveled (bravo to Crow for defending her against the smarmy narrator), and I simply can’t take my eyes off those . . . nose. She deserves so much better than the oily Hitler Youth guy who tackles her from behind–but, alas, by now she’s probably long dead . . .

    I have to say, that is one of the sweetest, most heartfelt tributes I have ever seen on these pages. Yes, I believe many of us males have swooned for this sweet young lass who looked great no matter the condition of her socks.

       4 likes

  17. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    “Ayaaaaaah! TURN IT OFF! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

       1 likes

  18. jay says:

    Body Care and Grooming –

    Times have changed on university campuses since the days of Hitler Youth Boy and Suzy Slovenly, but that was in the Paleolithic. In the early Bronze Age when I was an undergraduate the style was blue jeans and whatever. So much so that the gay and lesbian alliance came up with a brainstorm. One morning everyone heading to early classes found posters all over campus declaring WEAR BLUE JEANS ON THURSDAYS TO SUPPORT THE GAY/LESBIAN ALLIANCE. Every frat boy did a 180 and changed into khakis. Ha!

       0 likes

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