Support Us

Satellite News is not financially supported by Best Brains or any other entity. It is a labor of love, paid for out of our own pockets. If you value this site, we would be delighted if you showed it by making an occasional donation of any amount. Thanks.

Sampo & Erhardt

Sci-Fi Archives


Visit our archives of the MST3K pages previously hosted by the Sci-Fi Channel's SCIFI.COM.

Goodbye Sci-Fi

Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett reflect on MST3K's final broadcast.

Social Media


Weekend Discussion Thread: Fight Cards

Alert reader Perry suggests:

Which MST characters would you like to see face off in the Octagon? (Or Thunderdome.) So many possibilities you could make a whole tournament card.

I think Kor the Conquerer vs. Melissa Strickland will be a close-run affair.

I’d pick Buzz from “Mr. B Natural” vs. John from “Cheating.” I envision an epic slap fight.

What’s your pick?

And keep those WDT ideas coming!

98 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Fight Cards”

  1. Ray Dunakin
    Ignored
    says:

    I’m going to go way out on a ledge here and propose a tag-team bout pitting Prof. Neon and Heathcliff against Dr. Forester and TV’s Frank.

       3 likes

  2. Ray Dunakin
    Ignored
    says:

    This one’s a natural: The giant tarantula from “Earth vs. the Spider” against the giant mantis from “Deadly Mantis”. Loser becomes dinner.

       7 likes

  3. Endoplasmic Reticulum
    Ignored
    says:

    Going outside the universe for the opponent, but
    Robot Holocaust’s Guacamole Wilson battles Violet “The Giant Blueberry” Beauregard (from Willy Wonka) for the Transubstantiated Vegetable Champion of the World.

       2 likes

  4. The Original EricJ
    Ignored
    says:

    Ray Dunakin:
    I’m going to go way out on a ledge here and propose a tag-team bout pitting Prof. Neon and Heathcliff against Dr. Forester and TV’s Frank.

    Wait, have we ever seen Prof. Neon and Dr. F in the same place?

       5 likes

  5. stanmcserr
    Ignored
    says:

    Santa Claus vs Santy Claus for the Christmas Unified Championship (CUC)!
    The winner takes on Santa from Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.

       5 likes

  6. Prez Gar
    Ignored
    says:

    Round 1: Ator (Cave Dwellers) vs Deathstalker (Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell)

    Round 2: Cabot (Outlaw) vs Kai (Robot Holocaust)

    Round 3: Alan Steel Hercules (Hercules and the Moon Men) vs Steve Reeves Hercules (Hercules, Hercules Unchained)

    Round 4: Reg Park Hercules (Hercules and the Captive Women) vs Mickey Hargitay Hercules (The Loves of Hercules.)

    Round 5: Torgo (Manos) vs Tor Johnson (The Beast of Yucca Flats)

    Round 6: John Peter McAlister (Master Ninja) vs Fu Manchu (Castle of Fu Manchu)

    Round 7: Teenage Caveman vs Eegah

    Round 8: The Aztek Mummy (The Robt vs The Aztek Mummy) vs Puma Man.

    Round 9: The winner of Round 3 vs the Winner of round 4, to decide who is the one true Hercules.

       5 likes

  7. Lawgiver
    Ignored
    says:

    Ray Dunakin:
    Merlin from “Santa Claus” vs Merlin from “Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders”.

    Love this one.

       2 likes

  8. Kevin Wallace
    Ignored
    says:

    Prince of Space vs. Space Chief in an all out jumping about frolic frenzy!

       8 likes

  9. This has been a GREAT topic. Now it’s time for some thoughtful reconsideration. I’d like to commemorate Allison Hayes’ FOUR MST appearances with a very special, $250 per ticket Pay-Per-View.

    The magnificent Miss H, in a tasteful knock-off of Marinda’s outfit in Deathstalker, wrestling one of the invisible warriors Ator took on so bravely in Cave Dwellers.

    For about thirty minutes.

       6 likes

  10. Ray Dunakin
    Ignored
    says:

    I was going to suggest Jonathon Haze vs Allison Hayes, but Corman already gave us that in “Gunslinger”, when Little Man attacked Erica Page.

       3 likes

  11. Ray Dunakin
    Ignored
    says:

    The titular Teenage Werewolf vs the Native American “warwilf” from “Werewolf”.

    Alternately, we could pit Dr. Brandon (Teenage Werewolf) against Yuri (Werewolf). Just don’t let Yuri bring any prehistoric werewolf skulls into the ring.

       4 likes

  12. H
    Ignored
    says:

    Mr. B vs. Nuveena- let the nightmares begin!

    Speaking of the circus, the clowns from Here Comes The Circus vs. Olsen and Johnson from Johnny At The Fair- no matter who loses, everyone wins.

    Also, Old Man Crenshaw vs. Old Time Billy Slater.

       6 likes

  13. Say No To Yes
    Ignored
    says:

    William Sylvester’s Sam Slade in Gorgo, versus the hateful harbor master in Gorgo… they were “this close” to an all-out brawl in the film… BRING IT ON!!!! “How Green Was My Valley” Sean can be the ref!

       4 likes

  14. Ray Dunakin
    Ignored
    says:

    The Creature from “Boggy Creek II” vs Gulfax from “Wizards of the Lost Kingdom” — a Bigfoot-wannabe vs a Chewbacca-wannabe. Watch the fur fly!

       3 likes

  15. Bob Johnson
    Ignored
    says:

    I think the ultimate battle would be between Lt. Lamont in Space Mutiny and the carnival barker in The Incredibly Strange Things. Admittedly, neither one puts up much of a fight, but they always come back for more.

       4 likes

  16. Terry the Sensitive Knight
    Ignored
    says:

    Wilbur the angel from “Once Upon a Honeymoon” vs the guardian angel from “X Marks the Spot”

       9 likes

  17. Terry the Sensitive Knight
    Ignored
    says:

    The (impish) Police Officer of Death from “Last Clear Chance” vs the Deacon of Death from “Days of Our Years”
    Squishy Judy from “Young Man’s Fancy” vs Hysterical Peggy from “Is This Love?”

       5 likes

  18. Terry the Sensitive Knight
    Ignored
    says:

    The Screaming Skull vs Yorick’s skull vs Mr. Beardsley’s skull
    Torgo vs Ortega

       4 likes

  19. Ray Dunakin
    Ignored
    says:

    Terry the Sensitive Knight:
    Wilbur the angel from “Once Upon a Honeymoon” vs the angel from “X Marks the Spot”

    My money is on the guardian angel from “X Marks the Spot”! That guy looks and sounds like he’s spent time in the ring.

       3 likes

  20. Warren
    Ignored
    says:

    Bart Fargo vs. Bryan “Super Dragon” Cooper. The chicken men of Krankor vs. the Neptune Men. Dr. Leopold vs. the Creature from the Black Lagoon. John Peter McAllister vs. Diabolik.

       5 likes

  21. Terry the Sensitive Knight
    Ignored
    says:

    Warren: Dr. Leopold vs. the Creature from the Black Lagoon

    also Leopold vs The She-Creature

    how about the Amazing Colossal Man vs the Amazing Transparent Man vs the Incredible Melting Man
    maybe even the Thing That Couldn’t Die vs the Brain That Wouldn’t Die
    or perhaps the Crawling Eye vs the Crawling Hand
    the Creeping Terror vs Terror From the Year 5000
    the Horror of Party Beach vs the Horrors of Spider Island
    Danger! Death Ray!! vs Laserblast
    the Phantom Creeps vs the Phantom Planet
    the Deadly Mantis vs the Deadly Bees

    (I can do this all night)

       3 likes

  22. Terry the Sensitive Knight
    Ignored
    says:

    But I think the most terrifying matchup of godly powers would be Coily the Spring Sprite vs Mr. B Natural, the Spirit of Music

       7 likes

  23. Terry the Sensitive Knight
    Ignored
    says:

    Puma the cat vs Xerxes the cat
    Puma the cat vs the Puma Man

    PYOOMA!?

       3 likes

  24. Cornjob
    Ignored
    says:

    I want to see Torgo vs. the Beast of Yucca Flats. Each with a stick.

       4 likes

  25. yelling_into_the_void
    Ignored
    says:

    Chunk Ironchest from 12 to the Moon vs. Slab Bulkhead from Space Mutiny.

       4 likes

  26. mando3b
    Ignored
    says:

    The Incredible Melting Man vs. The Indestructible Man: Can IMM vanquish Lon Chaney, Jr. before he finishes melting? Place your bets at the window!
    Trumpy vs. one of the Laserblast turtle aliens, with a lot of unintelligible trash talk.

       6 likes

  27. Brock Lee Rubberband
    Ignored
    says:

    Fingers O’Toole vs Droppo in a cage filled with props. Rakes, ladders, Toy boxes, Briefcases, Skateboards etc

    Daddy-O’s Sidney Chillas vs Attack of the Giant Leeches Cal Moulton in the Butter Pit.

    Ross Allen with both hands tied behind his back vs Pewma the Cat, Tibby the Turtle, Tommy’s Joe the Hamster, kitten and rabbit. Pepe the ape owl, Henry the Hamster, Sparky the dog, Peppy the dog, Shep the dog, Xerxes the cat, Tor Johnson’s pet rabbit, Chris the Dog, King the Dog, The Invisible Guinea Pigs, The Deadly Bees, Miffy the Cat and Sparkle the Dog, Crenshaw’s Mad Goat, Ty the Lizard. Betty White and Brigitte Bardot will referee.

       7 likes

  28. Endoplasmic Reticulum
    Ignored
    says:

    Live from Monumental Plaza de Toros in Tijuana, in a South-of-the-Border Battle-of-the-Beasts, it’s Glenn “The Colossal Beast” Manning vs. The Beast of Hollow Mountain. Spectators in the first 36 rows are warned that they could be crushed or splashed with dinosaur spittle at any time during the contest.

       5 likes

  29. Ray Dunakin
    Ignored
    says:

    Endoplasmic Reticulum:
    Live from Monumental Plaza de Toros in Tijuana, in a South-of-the-Border Battle-of-the-Beasts, it’s Glenn “The Colossal Beast” Manning vs. The Beast of Hollow Mountain. Spectators in the first 36 rows are warned that they could be crushed or splashed with dinosaur spittle at any time during the contest.

    The winner gets to eat the Beast of Yucca Flats.

       2 likes

  30. touches no one's life, then leaves
    Ignored
    says:

    Son of Peanut:
    The Dust-Up in the Desert:

    Paul “Moon Beast” Carlsonvs
    Paul “Werewolf” Niles

    No Paul “Projected Man!” Steiner?

    Stupid Repulsive Anteater:
    And in the main event, Godzilla vs. Megal…

    Oh.

    Right.

    There’s always the Amazing Colossal Man, Glenn Talbot, I mean, Manning.

    ADDENDUM: Oh, I see someone already mentioned Glenn. Oh well.

    ===

    Space Mutiny’s Lt. Undead Lamont vs. Escape 2000’s Nosferatu Woman, Vampire from Outer Space against Vampire from Brookl, uh, the Bronx.

    ===

    Several annoying movie kids come together to re-enact “Battle Royale.” No matter who loses, the audience wins…

       4 likes

  31. Torgover
    Ignored
    says:

    Battle of the evil queens with evil queen Samara from Hercules Against The Moon Men vs. evil queen Onfale from Hercules and the Captive Women. 2nd match is Antea from Hercules and Cleolanta from Rocky Jones.

       5 likes

  32. Ray Dunakin
    Ignored
    says:

    Pitch from “Santa Claus” vs the Devil from “The Undead”. I think it would devolve into a dance-off.

       4 likes

  33. mando3b
    Ignored
    says:

    Torgover:
    Battle of the evil queens with evil queen Samara from Hercules Against The Moon Men vs. evil queen Onfale from Hercules and the Captive Women. 2nd match is Antea from Hercules and Cleolanta from Rocky Jones.

    Winners of these two matches fight each other, with the winner taking on the evil Laura from Outlaw. Winner of this championship bout gets a night with Whatney Smith. Loser gets a week with him.

       4 likes

  34. littleaimishboy
    Ignored
    says:

    Torgo vs Lobo

       2 likes

  35. Ray Dunakin
    Ignored
    says:

    The Panther Woman vs the Leopard Lady! Oh, wait…

       3 likes

  36. littleaimishboy
    Ignored
    says:

    Oh, and Krankor vs Eddie Deezen. Let poor Chickenman win one for a change.

    “Your weapons are useless AGGGGGHHHHH!”

       3 likes

  37. Brock Lee Rubberband
    Ignored
    says:

    Aunt Mary vs Big Daddy – Top secret match. Use code words when discussing

    Lucinda vs Malla – Old wounds never heal.

    High School Big Shot Marv Grant vs Arch Hall Jr – Just try and watch.

    Zombie Nightmare’s Psycho Jim Batten vs Bob ‘Moon’ Mooney – This one’s gonna hurt

       4 likes

  38. yelling_into_the_void
    Ignored
    says:

    Moustache vs. Moustache
    Phantom of Krankor taking on Voldar.

       3 likes

  39. touches no one's life, then leaves
    Ignored
    says:

    touches no one's life, then leaves:
    Space Mutiny’s Lt. Undead Lamont vs. Escape 2000’s Nosferatu Woman, Vampire from Outer Space against Vampire from Brookl, uh, the Bronx.

    ADDENDUM

    Mike and the Bots calling the Escape 2000 reporter a vampire becomes marginally ironic…or something…when you take into account that per the IMDB her name is “Moon”…”Moon Grey,” in fact. Which…really sounds more like a werewolf name, now that I think about it. :-)

       1 likes

  40. Joseph Klemm
    Ignored
    says:

    Battle of the Primates:

    *Pepe (Time of the Apes) vs. Alexander (Carnival Magic)
    *The Boggy Creek Monster (Boggy Creek II) vs. Bigfoot (Cry Wilderness)
    *The Cymbal Monkey (Merlin’s Shop) vs. the “GET YOUR TICKETS HERE” Monkey (The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies)

       5 likes

  41. Sitting Duck
    Ignored
    says:

    The Mirror Image Smackdown Event

    Round 1: Professor Crevett (The Crawling Eye) vs. J.J. Hubbard (Moon Zero Two)
    Round 2: Admiral King (Women of the Prehistoric Planet vs. Jim Graff (Agent for H.A.R.M.)
    Round 3: Dr. Lorenz (The Corpse Vanishes) vs. Dr. Vornoff (Bride of the Monster
    Round 4: Sheriff Townshend (The Crawling Hand) vs. Sheriff Jones (The Ginat Spider Invasion)
    Round 5: Penny Lowe (Untamed Youth) vs. Silver Morgan (Girls Town)
    Round 6: J.C. (Side Hackers) vs. Sergeant Ward (IT Lives By Night)
    Round 7: Willie Tatlow (Lost Continent) vs. Pill Box (Radar Secret Service)
    Round 8: George Benedict (Stranded in Space) vs. Commander Jansen (Space Mutiny)
    Round 9: Sidney Chillas (Daddy-O) vs. Scroop (The Undead)
    Round 10: Paul Nelson (It Conquered the World) vs. Ed Wainwright (Beginning of the End)
    Round 11: Asmild (Viking Women and the Sea Serpent) vs. Betty Scott (Bloodlust)
    Round 12: Doug McCadden (Being from Another Planet vs. Sam Casey (Riding with Death)
    Round 13: Prosser (Warrior of the Lost World) vs. Dr. Kobras (The Puma Man)
    Round 14: Vera (Swamp Diamonds) vs. Rose Hood (Gunslinger)
    Round 15: Kitty Reed (I Accuse My Parents) vs. Terry Williams (Last of the Wild Horses)
    Round 16: Mitchell (Mitchell) vs. Geronimo (Final Justice)
    Round 17: Xenos (outlaw) vs. Farrell (Angels Revenge)
    Round 18: Clete Ferguson (Revenge of the Creature) vs. Roger Bentley (The Mole People)
    Round 19: Ted Erickson (She Creature) vs. Brack (This Island Earth)
    Round 20: Mark English (Devil Doll) vs. Sam Slade (Gorgo)
    Round 21: Danny McKee (The Time Travelers) vs. Henry McDade (Avalanche)
    Round 22: Bowen Tyler (The Land That Time Forgot vs. David Innes (At the Earth’s Core)

       6 likes

  42. touches no one's life, then leaves
    Ignored
    says:

    completely utterly and totally off-topic

    I just happened to remember this question that I keep forgetting to ask.

    During the Joel years, one of the hallway doors, when opening or closing, made a noise that sounded like “PIZZA!”

    What was that all about?

    Thank you. :-)

       1 likes

  43. littleaimishboy
    Ignored
    says:

    touches no one’s life, then leaves:
    completely utterly and totally off-topic
    I just happened to remember this question that I keep forgetting to ask.
    During the Joel years, one of the hallway doors, when opening or closing, made a noise that sounded like “PIZZA!”
    What was that all about?
    Thank you. :-)

    I went back & had a listen, and no, what the door actually says is
    “Joel loves movies and sometimes pokes gentle Mr Rogersly supportive affectionate fun at them whereas Mike hates movies and all who love them”.
    Huh.
    Make up your own Doors Of Perception joke I guess, I got stuff to do.

       1 likes

  44. Cornjob
    Ignored
    says:

    Yongury vs. Reptilicus

    Jet Jaguar vs. The Sea Monster

    Brown vs. Board of Education

    Gamera vs. Godzilla

       2 likes

  45. itsspideyman
    Ignored
    says:

    …..ya know, I wish we could get Beyond Thunderdome…..

       4 likes

  46. Sitting Duck
    Ignored
    says:

    Off topic: The first issue of the comic book is out today.

       1 likes

  47. GareChicago
    Ignored
    says:

    Lodac’s dragon Vs. the three headed one from “Sword and the Dragon”.

    The Couch from “Spring Fever” Vs. the Couch that Jaime’s dad lays on in “What about Juvenile Deliquency?”

    Gare

       1 likes

  48. Murdock Hauser
    Ignored
    says:

    GareChicago: The Couch from “Spring Fever” Vs. the Couch that Jaime’s dad lays on in “What about Juvenile Deliquency?”

    How about a triple threat fight with Pearl’s couch from “Hobgoblins”?

       2 likes

Leave a Reply