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Episode guide: 616- Racket Girls (with short: ‘Are You Ready for Marriage?’)

616s

Short: (1950) A pair of high schoolers are planning marriage, until a friendly counselor talks them down.
Movie: (1951) A gym owner who manages lady rasslers uses his place as a front for illegal gambling.

First shown: 11/26/94
Opening: Lisa Loeb visits on the Hexfield
Intro: As M&tB try to discourage Lisa Loeb, there are also security problems in Deep 13
Host segment 1: Crow wants to marry Tom, so they take a Cosmo quiz
Host segment 2: Mike throws Crow a depressing bachelor party
Host segment 3: The wedding starts well but ends in rasping
End: M&tB think there’s been too much wrestling, they read letters, Lisa Loeb gets into Deep 13
Stinger: SNAP! “It’s gone!” “Where’d it go?”
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (197 votes, average: 4.34 out of 5)

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• If you can put up with the endless rasslin’ footage, this episode is a lot of fun. The host segments are strange, but silly. The short is another classic. As for the movie, well, as Crow notes. “When Ed Wood saw this, it was like when Truffaut saw ‘Citizen Kane’.” The rasslin’ scenes are a bit like the refueling scenes in Starfighters: It’s amazing to see them do riff after riff after riff on scenes where the same thing happens over and over and over.
• This episode is included in Shout’s “Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection: Vol. XV.”
References.
• Non-spaghetti ball bumpers: Beaker, book, bulletin board, film canister.
• When this episode debuted, it was the third of three new episodes in the course of four days. It was Turkey Day heaven.
• That’s Bridget, of course, with a hilarious impression of Lisa Loeb. Loeb told me on Twitter that she loved that sketch.
• And of course that’s Paul, Patrick and Mary Jo as the strangers in Deep 13.
• The whole “boing” thing was a source of much amusement in the online forums following this show. I suspect “boing” is somehow related to being “squishy.”
• Mary Jo returns as Jan in the Pan, late-night style.
• Then-current reference: Short-lived TV show “Models Inc.”
• I really love the message of the movie: that you simply cannot corrupt a really clean sport like ladies wrestling, and attempting to do so will bring down forces on your head that will overwhelm you.
• During the wedding, Frank sings the last few bars of “The Wedding Song,” written by Paul Stookey of Peter, Paul and Mary fame.
• Dr. F. channels Prince while officiating at the wedding. Great stuff.
• Callbacks: “Shut up Iris.” (The Beatniks) “No Lupita!” (Santa Claus), “Have you been noticing any odd occurrences? Oh it’s true!” (The Dead Talk Back), “I’m dyin’ in a rush!” (Kitten with a Whip).
• The chase scene at the end, featuring the lovely Ukrainian national anthem, is a very funny few minutes.
• Frank’s “You brute! You brute! You brute” is from “Blazing Saddles.”
• Cast and crew roundup: cinematographer William C. Thompson also worked on “Project Moon Base,” “Bride of the Monster,” “The Violent Years” and “The Sinister Urge.” Makeup guy Harry Thomas worked on “The Mad Monster,” “Project Moon Base,” “The Unearthly,” “Bride Of The Monster,” “Invasion USA,” “High School Big Shot” and “Night Of The Blood Beast.” In front of the camera, Timothy Farrell was also in “The Violent Years.”
• CreditsWatch: Host segments directed by Trace. This was Michael D. Parker’s first episode as an intern. It was also Julie Van Goethem’s last (after only three eps, maybe things didn’t work out.) Patrick’s first name is spelled wrong.
• Fave riff from short: “‘I want to marry a man!’ ‘Heh-heh. No, you don’t.’” Honorable mention: “Sometimes there’s a SHPLOINK!”
• Fave riff from the movie: “‘What are you thinking about?’ ‘Playdoh.’” Honorable mention: “There’s some heroin I’ve had my eye on.”

139 Replies to “Episode guide: 616- Racket Girls (with short: ‘Are You Ready for Marriage?’)”

  1. rockyjones says:

    This is one of my favorites too. I always loved the treatment these really old, goofy films got on the show (overly-long wrestling scenes aside). There’s definitely a very sleazy “Ed Wood vibe” that permeates the whole thing. The entire “cheap hotel room….swank apartment” sideline cracks me up every time.

    I think my favorite riffs from the short have to be “Look out…this approaches engineering!”, and “How will we know when we’ve done it?”….(“Oh boy, back to the dolls….”).

       4 likes

  2. FarmboyinJapan says:

    ‘And so students, we just plug in the quadratic equation and EXCUSE ME!’

    ‘I’m being turned on by a woman who is long dead.’

    ‘I wonder what country this is taking place in.’

       2 likes

  3. Manny Sanguillen says:

    I thought this episode was going to be dumb and so I never watched it until it was one of like only 6 episodes I had never seen.
    I’m now very glad I saved it because it was very good. The short, I had seen and loved already. I think it’s one of their top ten of all-time.
    The movie though I found to be very well-riffed and I laughed my bum off. I watched it like ten times that month cause I found it so good.
    Now years later would rank the episode overall as one of the top 50 episodes.

       1 likes

  4. Nicolletta says:

    The wrestling scenes rival the refueling scenes in “The Starfighters” for pure unadulterated tedium.

    Tom singing REM songs whenever the Michael Stipe-ish thug is onscreen, but he gets the some of the lyrics wrong (“Let’s go back to Rockville” should be “Don’t go back to Rockville”).

    “This movie is refreshingly itself.” I have to agree with that one.

    “Strut, pout, put it out, that’s what you want from Grandma.” I nearly fell off the couch the first time I heard that one.

    Peaches Page reminds me of Jennifer Tilly, if Ms. Tilly were to gain 40 pounds from her chest up.

       2 likes

  5. Gummo says:

    Easily one of my all-time favorites, but I was a fan of really REALLY bad movies even before MST, so this is right up my alley. (Hey, what can I say — I’ve got no less than SIX Timothy Farrell movies in my collection!)

    Around the Gummo household, the line “He’s a sorcerer!” is still in common usage to commemmorate, well, just about anything. (Our other fave is from season 8: “Koo-ee-tara – high! high! high!” Wife will often use it when she needs something off a high shelf.)

    George Weiss may be the single most incompetent producer of all time — even his sleaze is half-assed. And as someone said upthread it seemed to be a trademark of his to insert unrelated footage to pad out his movies.

    Poor poor Peaches Page. It was a cruel Fate that gave her a body like that, then topped it with that pumpkin face. The Romulan eyebrows only add to the oddity that is Peaches.

    But as is so often the case, the worst movies can bring out the best riffing. So many great lines quoted above, I’d like to add all the jokes about the crook who obsesses about how one of the girls suddenly got a “swell apartment”; and when he meets her in a dark alley and Crow, I think, says, wow, the movie really opens up when they go outside!

       3 likes

  6. Nick says:

    Watching this movie makes me thankful for the women wrestlers we have today—they’ve come a long way, baby! :mrgreen:

    IMO, the short is slightly better than the feature, if only because the short is just go damn goofy. It also helps that I’m from Rhode Island, making me very, very partial to Crow’s “I worship Cthulhu” riff (and Sitting Duck is right, the guy from the church kinda does look like ol’ H.P.)

    Favorite lines:

    Tom: Boy, if ever a movie needed El Santo.

    Crow: I’m being turned on by a woman that’s *long* dead!

    Joe: Is Peaches your real name?
    Mike, as Peaches: Is 4’2″ your real height?

       2 likes

  7. crowtdan says:

    I agree with Gummo. The bookkeeper “rat” who turns the bookie woman in was hilarious. From a cheap hotel to a swanky apartment. The line was delivered in the same manner when he was talking to her and the to Scalli. Six months! a cheap hotel to a swanky apartment.

       4 likes

  8. MikeK says:

    There’s a documentary about women’s wrestling. I forgot the title, but it came out a few years ago. Some of those old ladies told stories that made “Racket Girls” seem pretty accurate, but cleaned up for the 1950s cinema.

       1 likes

  9. Cabbage Patch Elvis says:

    Zing! Nice one, Smirkboy! :mrgreen:

       0 likes

  10. KSK says:

    AAGGHH! IT’S IGGY POP!

    She’s too mannish for Alice B. Toklas!

       0 likes

  11. Darthdemona says:

    “Are You Ready for Marriage?” is my favorite MST3k short ever. It always kills me how the alleged engineering student seems mystified by the elastic properties of rubber.

    I first saw the short as part of the “Mr. B’s Lost Shorts” collection, so imagine my delight at finally getting to see the whole episode with the host segments, particularly the first segment: “He’s a SORCEROR!!” The actual movie I can take or leave, though the riffing is pretty good, but the short and segments are what make this a favorite episode of mine.

       1 likes

  12. MikeK says:

    So, in the battle of the similar shorts, who wins? “Is This Love?” or “Are You Ready for Marriage?”

       1 likes

  13. Cornjob says:

    The movie is not one of my favorites, but I love the short.

    “I worship Cthulhu”

    A friend of mine recently got married and I gave her a DVD copy of this episode as a wedding gift.

       3 likes

  14. bartcow says:

    MikeK: For me, the only truly great part of Is This Love is at the end, when they rattle off the titles of other instructional films (Know Your Ointments). The old jokes are pretty good as well, but AYRFM is a treat all the way through.

       1 likes

  15. DON3k says:

    I love this one, Short, Movie, Peaches and all!

    BTW: When it first aired, and the short began, the moment Rev Hall appears on the screen, I immediately thought, Hey, he looks like the Kurgan, Clancy Brown, from Highlander! Am I the only one?

    You tell me
    http://www.badmovies.org/movies/atomicagevi/atomicagevi4.jpg

    http://www.hbo.com/films/normal/img/castandcrew/506x315_clancy_brown.jpg

       0 likes

  16. Cabbage Patch Elvis says:

    I think Is This Love wins out, although it’s missing the boing. The elderly Romulan roommate is hilarious and the old parents are great fodder. “You’ve got the boogers again, eh dear?”

       1 likes

  17. Yeah, “Are You Ready for Marriage” is excellent, but I think “Is This Love” beats it out slightly, mostly because of the elderly roommate. Although it’s hard to beat “real marriage action”.

    As for “Racket Girls”, I love it. One of my favorite moments in all of MST3K is Rita Martinez’ line readings.

       2 likes

  18. Cornjob says:

    To be honest, I’m not much of a joiner, so I dropped out of the Cthulhu cult, and dabbled in Yog-Sothoth worship for a while, before finding my groove as a mad disciple of Azathoth. He is the Creator and Lord of the Universe after all, even if he is mindless, blind, insane, mass of writhing blasphemous nuclear chaos. Think about it. Won’t you?

       7 likes

  19. J.K. Robertson says:

    I grew up watching wrestling, so this episode is definitely one of my absolute favorites. Love the short as well. Servo also has one of my favorite Frank Zappa references:

    “Peaches EN REGALIA!!”

       1 likes

  20. pearliemae says:

    I too dropped out of the Cthulhu group. They were a little too nutty. Can you believe it, they had a guitar mass one night! I am now with the Yog Sothoths. I like them because they have a lot of activities for the kids. If anyone is interested, our next meeting will be over at Shirley’s, on Tuesday. Bring a hot dish to pass.

       6 likes

  21. The Bolem says:

    Just checked IMDB, and “Blonde Pickup” is indeed an alternate title for ‘Racket Girls’, even though I’ve never seen that title anywhere other than ACEG, and even Paul wasn’t 100% sure they were the same film.

    Looking forward to finally seeing it this summer!

       0 likes

  22. losingmydignity says:

    This is one of those eps I wasn’t so crazy about after the first viewing but has really grown on me.

    The short, of course, it one of the great ones. In my top 5 for sure.

    I think the Brains do a great job with the wrestling scenes. Desperation to fill the void really inspires them as it did in Radar Secret service and Starfighters. All in all a solid ep.

    And who doesn’t love Peaches? I have agree with the poster who said she looks like Tilly.

    B+

       2 likes

  23. 1 adam 12 says:

    Love this episode. Nuff said.

    As far as whether “Is This Love?” or “Are You Ready For Marriage?” is the better short, I vote AYRFM, myself. Better lines, dumber characters, etc. ITL almost makes me uncomfortable, because I can actually believe someone could be that impulsive. Nobody could be as hilariously brain-dead as Larry and Sue though.

       1 likes

  24. Bobbled Dopple says:

    Another of a series of bland, bleak, boring Season Six episodes. The short is in Top Five territory, but the movie just doesn’t work for me. Last night might have been the first time I had watched it since it first aired. I will admit there are a couple of very good riffs/very good goofy moments. But the gangster “plot” of the movie seems to only take up about 15 minutes of the movie, over half of which is dedicated to the poorly lit final chase scene; the rest of the movie is endless 50s lady wrestling.

    Favorite line: Sorcerer!

    Favorite moments:

    Short – the rubber band demonstration.
    Movie – the bookkeeper – the bizarre look on his face during his first appearance, the shots of him carving dice that go nowhere, and his obsession with one character’s transition from a cheap hotel to a swanky apartment.

       0 likes

  25. Darthdemona says:

    #73: “Nobody could be as hilariously brain-dead as Larry and Sue though.”

    I agree. The question shouldn’t be “are they ready for marriage?” but rather “should two people as stupid as this be allowed to procreate?”

       1 likes

  26. Dan in WI says:

    Have you been helped?

    The opening on this was solid. The nailed the Lisa Loeb impression lampooning everything I don’t like about her. The interaction with the visitors in Deep 13 was fun. The several different deliveries of “have you been helped” were each good in their own ways. Frank does a call back of his debut in 201 with the fast food drive thru gag. Finally I love the “faulty intercom” gag by Mike and the Bots. Now is it just me or does one of the visitors to Deep 13 looks suspiciously like Pearl Forrester?

    Both Frank and Clayton have great reactions to Mike shooting the rubber bands. The mock panic was so well played.

    This is a rare episode with a stinger from the short.

    I love this episode. It really needed the Brains bringing their A game to fill all the wrestling scenes. They sure came through though.

    Favorite Riffs:
    Short:
    The title card appears. Mike “Yeah I’m sick of sex anyway.”

    As the couple makes out: Crow “Oh you’re so suitable.”

    Larry “There’s a justice of the peace there.” Mike “I’ll marry him.”

    Larry introduces his girl to a friend. Crow as Larry’s friend: “Hi Roy, who’s the beard.”

    Movie:
    10 minutes into the first wrestling scene. Mike “Wait a minute, is this going to be about wrestling?”

    We get our first look at the gym:
    We get a first look at Ruby: Mike “Never saw my grandma naked. But this will do.”
    Tom “This was back when undergarments had no erotic appeal.”
    Tom “Kind of like looking at an erotic cave painting.”
    Crow “Those of you who never associated sexuality with your great aunt, here you go.”

    Mike comments on the lack of a score “Of course the music makes this scene come to life.”

    Tom “I guess if you were a gay guy who liked truckers you’d find these women attractive.”

    Tom “I think these shots were rejected for Monster A Go Go”

       5 likes

  27. Kenneth Morgan says:

    A couple of questions: is it just me or does Rev. Hall look like Clancy Brown? If the short was riffed on today, I’d expect jokes on how he was going to go look for the Highlander later, or asking the couple, “You’re not after me Crabby Patty formula, are you?”

    And is it just me or does Scali’s traitorous accountant look like Kenny Banya from “Seinfeld”? I can just hear him going on about the swanky apartment, then a joke about, “And she eats dinner at Mendy’s, too!”

       1 likes

  28. Sitting Duck says:

    fireballil #38: The whole Crow-Tom wedding scenario was funny, especially Jan-In-The-Pan doing a striptease with a gold lame’ bandage(but who was taking it off?!?!)

    Perhaps she developed telekinesis.

    I question the wisdom of Rita Martinez having those braids. They’re just begging to get grabbed during a bout.

    Why would the investigation be broadcast on radio? Or does Mr. Big have the hearing room bugged?

    These sordid crime films are not among my favorites and I would normally not rate this one higher than a three. However, the goofy short helps boost it to a four.

    Favorite riffs:

    “You’ve known each other for…”
    “Three months, one week, two days, and seventeen hours.”
    Hoo boy, one of these.

    Bobby Orr’s Electric Marriage. Real marriage action.

    You saw my boing?

    “How do we know when we’ve done it?”
    Hoo boy. Back to the dolls.

    But never make light of boing, son.

    Mike, is this the Thrilla from Manila?
    No, it’s the Snooze in Santa Cruz.

    Never saw my grandma naked, but this’ll do.

    I’ve been traded to the St. Louis Mob.

    This is like a stag film produced by the League of Women Voters.

    The forbidden secret room of your aunt’s house.

    You know, Peaches has a fresh, natural stupidness that isn’t forced or contrived.

    This movie has taken the joy out of looking at someone’s hinder.

    Sorry, I turned into the Devil for a sec.

    Music? Why here? Why now? Why us?

    Boss, not the petty cash! What about the doughnuts for the staff?

       0 likes

  29. Yipe Striper says:

    i think i’ve only seen this one once. gotta give it another shot.

       0 likes

  30. Tom Carberry says:

    The part of Umberto Scalli was played by an Ed Wood regular by the name of Timothy Farrell. Born Timothy Sperl on June 26, 1922 he appeared in three of Mr. Wood’s cinematic offerings: Glen or Glenda (1953), Jail Bait (1954), and The Violent Years (1956). He worked as a bailiff in the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department while also working in the movies. One of his movies, “Paris After Midnight,” was actually busted in a vice raid in the mid-50s, which caused him professional embarrassment. He went on to work 20 years as an L.A. deputy Marshall and eventually was appointed County Marshall in 1971. He was convicted of felony charges after his appointment, however, for “illegal use of deputy Marshalls in political activities,” and was given a six month sentence, but received probation due to poor health. He was fired in 1975. He died May 9, 1989 in Santa Monica, California.

    Favorite lines (Are You Ready for Marriage?):

    The tepid embrace tells me they’re ready for marriage
    I hope Leopold [of Leopold and Loeb] doesn’t find out about this.
    First Federal Church, Member FDIC
    Suddenly their marriage is The Eiger Sanction.

    Favorite lines (Racket Girls—1951):

    Oh, I guess it’s any given day at Madonna’s house.
    Paloma Picasso’s enjoying it.
    Hey, it’s Fran Lebowitz.
    Ah, the fun marriage of Shannen Doherty and Ashley Hamilton.
    This would turn kd lang hetero.
    Are you a good witch or a bad witch?
    So the shower is a formal high heel occasion.
    You know when Ed Wood saw this it was like when Truffaut saw Citizen Kane.
    That bra is about as sexy as a concrete abutment.
    Location scout sure had his hands full didn’t he?
    Calvin Coolidge, Referee.
    It’s like a stag film produced by the League of Women Voters.
    “Wrestling is one of few remaining clean sports.” That and cock fighting.
    Peaches has a fresh natural stupidness that isn’t forced or contrived.
    She’s too manish for Alice B. Toklas.
    I think these shorts were rejected from Monster a Go Go.

    Final Thought: Another tough slog on this one for me. I give this one 2 out of 5 stars.

       2 likes

  31. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    #3
    He also ALSO played Umberto Scalli in an earlier movie, in “The Devil’s Sleep” (1949)…AND in a LATER movie, “Dance Hall Racket” (1953), a pretty good trick considering that Scalli DIED in THIS movie.

    “Ah, Mr. Scalli, you have a nasty habit of surviving…”

       4 likes

  32. David J says:

    I love it when the Cosmo survey asks which of the Three Stooges the couple turns to in “matters of the heart” and the bots simultaneously say “Joe Besser” and “Curly Joe DeRita”. A lot of people don’t realize that Shemp Howard is far from the most obscure of the Stooges!

       1 likes

  33. snowdog says:

    This is among my favorite eps, partially because I’m a closet fan of classic pro wrestling.
    The Rhino DVD has the trailer for “Blonde Pickup”. Watch and listen as the promo tries really hard to say “This movie is full of sexy women!” without actually saying the words.

    My favorite moment is in the short, when the camera zooms in on the girl for no apparent reason and we get to hear her ‘Nam flashbacks.

    Five Stars (your mileage may vary).

       1 likes

  34. Laura says:

    I really do enjoy this episode. I had no idea it had anything to do with wrestling until I got that box set. And what kind of name is Peaches? She definitely didn’t look like she ate any, that’s for sure. The women “wrestlers” seem to have just slightly more talent than the current WWE Diva roster. And the matches are a little more watchable. Though not by much. I really don’t get the whole “racket” part, no matter how many times I watch it. Was it because the guy who ran the wrestling company was betting on the matches? Or taking bets? Also, I do enjoy seeing Crow and Servo try to get married.

    The short cracks me up every time. Exactly where did that “counselor” get his degree from? I can understand letting those two nitwits see that they’re still too young to get married, but I still don’t get the point of the rubber band. Psychological distance? Are you kidding me? More like psychological harm from having to endure that smug bastard trying to force his values on those two nitwits (let’s face it; they’re not exactly the brightest bulbs in the box).

       1 likes

  35. Smoothie of Great Power says:

    I’m with Crow on this one: My loins will never stir again!

       4 likes

  36. Blast Hardcheese says:

    I’ve only seen this episode once before I watched the DVD last night–I was still pretty new to the show, but I remember falling in love with Bridget as Lisa Loeb (which is odd, since I can’t stand the real one)–she out-Lisas Lisa. I seem to remember seeing ads for a reality show Ms. Loeb did a while back, where she went looking for a boyfriend or something. Did anyone ever see it? I can’t imagine it drew a huge crowd.

    As for the films–I’m of the same mind as most people: the short is a classic. The movie, however, is a chore to watch, and would intolerable unriffed–I guess the sight of industrial-grade underwear just doesn’t do it for me. Peaches has an oddly Bette Midler-ish look about her–but a Bette Midler with none of the campy humour or, y’know, talent. Bleah. Mind you, next to the acting chops of her two real-life wrestling colleagues, Peaches is positively Oscar-worthy. I admire the Brains their efforts during the wrestling sequences, but it seems that even they struggle to find fresh riffs during those loooooong, very dull, match scenes. Are we supposed to get turned on by all of that, by the way? Apart from the car chase bit at the end (and the touching rendition of “Ukrainia”), the best overlooked scene in the movie is the Ed Woodish “senate hearing”–does anyone know what country this movie takes place in?

    The trailer on the Shout! DVD is well worth checking out. It took me a while to realise that “Blonde Pickup” was the title they were using for that particular release–that’s how bad even the trailer is.

       0 likes

  37. Mitchell "Rowsdower" Beardsley says:

    Great short, another dreary boring movie entry though. This is another I only buy because it comes in a 4 pack with other episodes!

    But it does get extra points for “I worship Cthulhu!” and the 3 Stooges mention.

       0 likes

  38. Trilaan says:

    I really need to set Dr.F and Frank’s “It’s gone! Where’d it go?? He’s a sorcerer!” as my laptop’s Empty Recycle Bin sound.

       5 likes

  39. schippers says:

    Say what you will about the endless wrasslin’ footage in this movie, but you know what? Take out the preening, showmanship, and penises from the WWE and you have “Racket Girls.” I’m just saying, is all.

    I would SO love to see the other movies in the “Female Wrestling” triptych.

    Timothy Farrell is one of my favorite z-grade actors. He’s great in everything. I particularly like him in “Reefer Madness,” which I like to think of as an Ed Wood movie in the sense that Ed must have been mindswapped into the body of Louis Gasnier through the intervention of the Yithians.

       2 likes

  40. Watch-out-for-Snakes says:

    Other than the short, this is a hard episode to like. A boring, dreary, and drab movie, with little to no action, some mannish women, some ugly dudes, …this is a tough one. Sometimes I can handle the really bad movies (and even love ’em), like The Starfighters from earlier in Season 6, or the Coleman Francis trilogy (also S6), or Monster A Go-Go (S4), but sometimes the crumminess of the movie is too crushing for me, like Wild World of Batwoman (S5) or Castle of Fu Manchu (S3). Racket Girls is one of those crushingly dull movies.

    The short is really great, a classic, and I also like the Lisa Loeb impression in the opening (“I thought she was Courtney Hole?!”), but the Host Segments don’t really do it for me, which sadly, is the case for most Mike-era episodes (not to say they don’t occasionally bring the funny). What’s up with the visitors in Deep13? They do nothing, they’re there for no reason, I don’t get it…

    RIFFS:


    short:

    Crow: “You’re so suitable.”

    Mike: “Have we entered your fantasy kingdom?”

    movie: “It’s gone!” Where did it go?!”
    Crow: “WE’RE GONNA DIE!!”

    Kay stares off into space,
    Servo: (makes gunfire, war noises)
    Crow: “Folks, we ARE leavING!”
    Mike: “Sorry, back in Da-Nang there for a minute.”

    Crow: “Hi, Roy. Who’s the beard?” –“Beard” is a term used to refer to a woman who is dating a gay man as a cover for his sexual identity.


    movie:

    Mike: “I prefer the traditional Hamlet.”

    Mike: “Never saw my grandma naked, but this will do.”

    Servo: “Is this in danger of being confiscated while we watch it?”

    movie: “They said I was drunk..”
    Crow: “I was so high I wouldn’t of known.”

    Crow: “My loins will never stir again.”

    Crow: “Is this the induction film when you go to hell?”

    Mike: “They should’t have let Éric Rohmer direct a high speed chase sequence.” —Rohmer was a French filmmaker, part of the New Wave, known for making slow, intelligent and psychological dramas in the 60s/70s, most famous for his “Six Moral Tales” film series.



    Not a good episode, despite the short, which is BOOIINNG!!

    Only a 2/5

       2 likes

  41. "Hotcha!" says:

    No one has mentioned my favorite line:
    “Peaches is getting clingy.”

       1 likes

  42. david francis white says:

    616 is one of the best episodes of season 6!!! three and 1/2 stars!!!!

       0 likes

  43. Fred Burroughs says:

    The wrestling scenes are actually the best parts, in that I marvel at how many riffs they can make on the SAME IMAGE over and over. The rest of the movie makes me want to take a shower; esp. the trapping a girl into prostitution scene, as I imagine some in the cast had first-hand knowledge of how that goes down. And though it’s so badly acted, it’s still pretty chilling to see the girl go from desperation to horror to justifying it to herself, resigned to her new life.

    The R.F.Marriage short blows it away though. Pretty much every line is gold; from the titles (marriage? Yeah, I was sick of sex anyway.) to the intro (Mom, I have to go.) to Dr. “Lurch” Hall in his Room of Questions. The riffs are what every counselor wants to say to couples: ‘But this time we’re really in love!’ [chuckles politely]”Ha, ha… No you’re not.”

    The charts are embarrassingly simplistic (“can I see the raw data?”) but most of it is good advice. The young couple may be dumb as posts, but they are light years ahead of most couples I know who are getting married.

       2 likes

  44. jjk says:

    If all women looked like the ones in this movie the human race would have become extinct a long time ago.

       4 likes

  45. Canucklehead says:

    This episode remains one of my all-time favourites. I’m always drawn to the mystery/crime/spy episodes of MST3K more than any others, and this one has a lot going for it: horrible acting, cheap sets, and lots and lots of rasslin’! The short is brilliant, and the host segments are hilarious.

    A stellar ep.

       1 likes

  46. Depressing Aunt says:

    #78 It’s probably just me, but I’ve always thought that this woman is such a badazz, she thinks, I’ll wear braids just to tempt my opponents to pull them. She screams like a banshee, too! I actually wanted her to win everything ever. It takes guts to stay there.

    This movie has a line that’s confused me forever. Peaches says to Joe that good things come in small packages or something. Joe says, not to his way of thinking. I thought Joe was being cutely self- deprecating. Finally I realized, what Joe was really saying is, “I’d love a big bowl of Peaches!” It’s just that his line reading is poorly done.

       4 likes

  47. Jason says:

    The beauty of the short is that it actually presents useful information. Imagine how much better Kim Kardassian’s attempted marriage could have worked out if she had seen this.

    The downside of the short is that it’s aimed at people not quite as smart as Kim Kardassian. And that’s why it’s hilarious.

    Highlight from the short: Sue’s Vietnam flashback.
    Highlight from the movie: “Strut, pout, put it out, that’s what you want from grandma…”

       4 likes

  48. ToolAssist says:

    Weird – I saw this episode guide entry a few days ago. However, the short’s photo and the movie’s photo were swapped, and if you clicked on it it would give you a “page not found” link. Is someone chewing on the server cords again?

    Anyway, I love this episode. I own it on DVD, and I’ve seen it over a dozen times. The short is stellar (I love shorts that take up an entire theater segment) and the movie is just beautifully bad, with a retched print, terrible acting, and a weird plot – it’s just great. I remember when the movie just starts and Crow says “Boy, that music draws you in.” I was already laughing my ass off. This would be the best of season 6, if San Francisco International wasn’t an episode in it. (I have weird favorites)

    Which MST3K movies had the worst print?

       1 likes

  49. Sitting Duck says:

    For the record, here’s that review I had mentioned previously.

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  50. schippers says:

    Oh my God, how could I have stated that Timothy Farrell was in Reefer Madness? I was totally thinking of The Violent Years when I wrote that. Good lord.

    I will be committing hara-kiri with a blunt wooden practice sword a little later to atone for my shame.

       1 likes

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