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Weekend Discussion Thread: Sports Team Names

Alert reader Murdock Hauser opines:

So you are an owner of professional sports team and if you could rename the team after anything MST3K ,what would it be? As a long time suffering diehard Phoenix Suns fan in the NBA, I’d go with the Phoenix Saaaaaaaaaaaannnd Stooooorms or just Sandstorms. Also you can make a team up if you want, like the Castleton Bob Evils. Now what say you?

Oh, I like the Scranton Gila Monsters. “Lalalalalala LOAD THE BASES!”

Your pick?

86 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Sports Team Names”

  1. fatbarkeep says:

    Gotta’ go high school nickname on this one:
    The Beverly Hills Garlands.
    Team mascot? A Berated Pickle.
    Rivalry? The Bel Aire Gunslingers.
    Go go Garlands! Beat the Gunslingers!!!!
    Rah Rah Ree! Hit ’em in the knee!
    Rah Rah Rass! Hit ’em in the other knee!

       12 likes

  2. jay says:

    Be listening tomorrow afternoon for our broadcast of the Mitchell, South Dakota fighting Mitchells big game against their rivals the Brainerd, Minnesota Brains. This is a grudge match, ladies and gentlemen. The Mitchell’s have promised the Brains that they will regret their previous humorous comments and tomorrow is the showdown. This broadcast will be sponsored by Schlitz beer and Johnson’s Baby Oil.

       17 likes

  3. goalieboy82 says:

    jay: Mitchell, South Dakota

    i have been there.

       4 likes

  4. mando3b says:

    The Medicine Hat Zioxers

       6 likes

  5. EAG46 says:

    The Philadelphia Potatoes vs the Brooklyn Bike Racks in a roller derby match for the ages, ladies and gentlemen!!

       5 likes

  6. Warren says:

    England? Delta Knights, soccer. I’m not sure where it really is. Rutland Revolutionaries (Vermont baseball). Carlsbad Cave Dwellers. Barcelona Death Rays. Montana King Dinosaurs, I think there are ancient fossil beds in that state. Baja Black Scorpions. The type of sport doesn’t matter for some of these. Sun City Solarites. Slightly off-topic-Raccoon City Undead-FORFEIT THE GAME AND STAY AWAY.

       5 likes

  7. Ray Dunakin says:

    The St. Cloud “Santas” vs the Hell, Michigan “Devils”.

       2 likes

  8. Ray Dunakin says:

    The Chicago Bears should be renamed the Chicago Wind Demons. What else would you expect from the “Windy City”?

       5 likes

  9. Ray Dunakin says:

    I bet the sport of Full-Contact Nightgown Wrestling would have lots of fans, if it’s “Shirts” vs “Skins”.

       4 likes

  10. A women’s soccer team called “The Gold Boots”.

       14 likes

  11. yelling_into_the_void says:

    The Arizona Worwilfs

       15 likes

  12. Murdock Hauser says:

    Women’s Roller Derby League: 7:00 P.M. E.S.T. Michele Casey and Joanie Nichols lead the young and up and coming L.A. Pretty Minds (5-2) out East to do battle against, All-Star DarkGrandmaofDeath and the defending champions the Vermont Skydiving Grandmothers (7-0).

       7 likes

  13. yelling_into_the_void says:

    Someone help me with this one, all I’ve got is Steves vs. Pauls.

       5 likes

  14. The Kennebunkport Rockin’ Rollbots?
    The Williston Ambassador Phantoms?
    The Corpus Christi Clonus Horrors?
    The Dinkleburg Danger Diaboliks?

       2 likes

  15. GareChicago says:

    The South Texas Go Ahead On’s.

    Gare

       7 likes

  16. Gravity says:

    The Catalina Capers.

    The cheerleaders (led by Creepy Girl and Little Richard) wear smaller shorts than Tommy Kirk ever dreamed of.

       3 likes

  17. yelling_into_the_void says:

    Matthew Mikell:

    The Corpus Christi Clonus Horrors?

    Shouldn’t they be from Milwaukee?

       4 likes

  18. krankors.revenge says:

    The Chicago Giant Crickets

       6 likes

  19. Ro-man, aka one of several possible Steves says:

    Sorry I’m late:

    The Jacksonville Jet Jaguars.

    YAHMMMAAHOAAHOAAAUGH!

       14 likes

  20. eegah says:

    goalieboy82: i have been there.

    Us too! The corn palace was interesting. Some of the corn murals had swastikas in them, so they had to preemptively explain that it used to be a good luck symbol.

       3 likes

  21. pete_plums_drivers_license says:

    Gravity:
    The Catalina Capers.

    The cheerleaders (led by Creepy Girl and Little Richard) wear smaller shorts than Tommy Kirk ever dreamed of.

    Disagree. I think that Tommy Kirk is probably a tenth-degree black belt in dreaming about smaller shorts.

       3 likes

  22. Tonight, hard hitting action at Deathstalker Arena, as our Youngstown Brute Men take on the Akron-Canton Bloodbeasts!

       4 likes

  23. itsspideyman says:

    The Diabolik reverse-raccoons.

       6 likes

  24. Joseph Klemm says:

    mando3b:
    The Chicago Hoppers, who play their home games on photographs of Soldier Field

    That caused me to spit my Coke Zero on my monitor.

       5 likes

  25. Joseph Klemm says:

    Tonight on Monday Night Footballs, it’s The Las Vegas Colossals vs. The Arizona War-wilfs.

       3 likes

  26. Me: “We’re the Rowsdowers!”
    Crowd cheers back: “ZAP ROWSDOWER!!”

       3 likes

  27. New Canadian Football League Teams:
    The Prince George Pippers
    The Red Deer Rowsdowers

    General team name: The Dublin Gorgos?

       5 likes

  28. yelling_into_the_void says:

    Joseph Klemm:
    The Arizona War-wilfs.

    They just haven’t been the same since they lost their star player to the Alabama Soultakers.

       7 likes

  29. The CONNecticut Mr. B Naturals

       3 likes

  30. Ro-man, aka one of several possible Steves says:

    Ro-man, aka one of several possible Steves:
    Sorry I’m late:

    The Jacksonville Jet Jaguars.

    YAHMMMAAHOAAHOAAAUGH!

    I should have included “hapless” in front of that… ;)

       0 likes

  31. mando3b:
    The Medicine Hat Zioxers

    Crosstown rivals of the Medicine Hat Zombie Fur Trappers

       3 likes

  32. mando3b says:

    Joseph Klemm: That caused me to spit my Coke Zero on my monitor.

    Thank you! One of the highest compliments a poster to the WDT can get. This has been one of those themes that I just can’t stop thinking about. Sooo, in honor of “Once Upon a Honeymoon”: the Blue Ball (PA) Jeffs.

       3 likes

  33. mando3b says:

    Brock Lee Rubberband: Crosstown rivals of the Medicine Hat Zombie Fur Trappers

    Which of these teams is the staid, traditional franchise (say, the Lakers), and which are the tacky parvenus (say, the Clippers)? I would say Zioxers = Lakers, even with their psycho cult leader.

       2 likes

  34. mando3b: Which of these teams is the staid, traditional franchise (say, the Lakers), and which are the tacky parvenus (say, the Clippers)? I would say Zioxers = Lakers, even with their psycho cult leader.

    The Zombo’s are the White Sox or the Clippers. Their bad boys reputation doesn’t help. Their habit of eating the limbs of opposing players is always a source of much controversy. Playing home games at the decrepit Amway Arena/Hunting Shack, though homey and quaint, is not anywhere near the prestige of playing at Moosehead Arena where the Zioxers play. The Fur Trappers have one advantage – concessions. Jerky! Nothing but Jerky. You want a soda? Have a Jerky soda. Jerky pizza. Jerky flavored cotton candy etc.

       2 likes

  35. fireballil says:

    The Killer Pauls, featuring all the Pauls in the show’s history. Paul from Projected Man, Werewolf, Track of the Moon Beast, Cry Wilderness, etc. And where would they play? Why, St. Paul, of course!

       2 likes

  36. The Flagstaff, Arizona Werewolves (pronounced Whar-wolves)
    The Hollywood Icky Elves
    The Wisconsin Giant Spiders
    The Tokyo Kaiju (minor league affiliate The Almighty Children)

       2 likes

Comments are closed.