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Weekend Discussion Thread: Sports Team NamesAlert reader Murdock Hauser opines:
Oh, I like the Scranton Gila Monsters. “Lalalalalala LOAD THE BASES!” Your pick? 86 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Sports Team Names”Commenting at Satellite News
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the Chicago, but there was no…
the Texas Torgos ‘The MASter WAntS yOU to Win!’
I would pick the North Dakota Sampos. Their fans are tough and never miss a home game even when the stuff in their noses is freezing, ya know.
The San Francisco Internationals… best team of plane swipers in the biz… whatever biz THAT would be.
The L.A. Duplicators. The team is composed of android clones of all the best players. The only downsize is their heads are susceptible to cracking.
the Megaweapons.
the Fresno Watch out for Snakes.
“It’s a nice day here at Forrester Stadium for the Minnesota Gizmonics game, playing against the Hollywood Stinkburgers in yet another matchup between these titanic teams… or should I say, “Cinematic titanic” teams! [chuckles] The home team’s cheerleaders, named the Kingas as you know, are ready to give the fans quite a show. But the players are the real deal tonight. Football’s Frank is on his game, if usually subservient to the quarterback Clayton Pearl at all times.”
“Indeed! The opposing team is ready for this one, though. Torgo Masters and ‘Feelthy Peeg’ Ortega are sure formidable. But I wouldn’t count out Yongary Reptilicus in offense. There will be a lot of deep hurting tonight!”
“Well, it’s only a few minutes till game sign, so we’ll be right back after this word from Spacom. This is Joel Crow, with Mike Servo and Jonah Waverly, and this is Mystery Science Football on Netflix Central.”
The University of New Mexico Unearthly Lobos.
(Not a joke, sadly; the Lobos play just about as well as you’d expect from a whole team of Tor Johnsons.)
We already have the Las Vegas 51’s. How about the Arizona Hangar 18’s?
The Catalina Capers seems pretty obvious.
I don’t recall where Side Hacker is set but it was filmed outside Los Angeles. So since we already have the Indiana Pacers how about the LA Side Hackers.
Their natural rival would be the El Paso Masters.
Joshua Tree Rock Climbers
The San Diego MACs (sponsered by McDonalds and Coca-Cola)
The Aliens from L.A.
Wrapping it up in the booth from today’s Slow Pitch Soccer League semi-finals:
“Well, Jerry, the Crawling Eyes put on a clinic today.”
“They certainly did, Bill. They showed the Creeping Terrors how you play the game, and we can all look forward to next week, when the Eyes take on the Indian Flats Godmonsters….”
Ontario has a Ford City. So I’d put a baseball team there and name them the Ford BEEBES!!!
I’d also have to make sure Slide Whistle Night is a different game than Brass Knuckles Night.
The Tampa Bay Devil Fish
Joining the Rock Climbers this year in the Southern California FFF league:
Hemet Hobgoblins
Acton Laserblasters
The Beasts of Yucca Valley
Desert Center Black Scorpions
Perris Sidehackers
San Onofre Atomic Brains
Catalina Capers
This weekend come out and support your Boggy Creek Little Creatures. A free baloney sandwich if you wear bib overalls.
I’m surprised no one has suggested the California Incredibly Strange Creatures That Stopped Living and Became Mixed Up Zombies. Unfortunately, the team blew their entire budget on letters for their jerseys and never played a single game.
The London Ugly Dummies; their disturbing mascot is a large man in a Hugo costume
The Chicago Hoppers, who play their home games on photographs of Soldier Field
The Wonderful Wonderful Copenhagens of Denmark
Boston’s hockey team is already called the (Killer) Bees from time to time
The Vermont Time Chasers
… I’ll be back … :)
The Wizards of the Lost Magic Kingdom of Anaheim
The California Ladies
The BosNYWash Central [Smelly, Repulsive] Anteaters.
So everyone gets a sammich without even knowing about the promotion?
The Bronx Escapers.
The Thing that Couldn’t Die is one of my favorites, so I’ll go with the California Severed Heads.
There’s also the lovable Flagstaff Werewolf’s. Coached by the equally lovable Chip Hitler.
The Arkansas Little Creatures, etc…….
I hear the Montreal Zombies just signed right-hander Tony “Provolone” Washington. Great hitter. Not a great base runner.
PACKERS!!!!!!!
No shirt, no shoes, no problem. Except for Tim.
the Illegal Aliens from L.A.
the half time show for the Mobile Crackers can’t be missed. At every home game an anonymous scrawny novelty country singer…or Jim Stafford…screams ‘new england journalists’ then drives his beat up replica of the General Lee around in circles and finally plowing into the largest population of spectators. every so often they’ll bring in a va-aaaaaaaaa-annn!
ok on a side note, who was the lunatic that convinced either Arch Hall Sr. or Chuck Pierce that presenting their offspring in a movie was a good thing? i get the whole ‘Elvis’ thing with Hall, if you take away his lack of musical talent and soul crushing butt ugliness he might have had a chance. but what were they going for with Tim? ‘don’t worry son, shirtless androgynous humanoids will be big one day.’ really??
i hear they really hate the ‘Dallas Drunken Daisy’s.’
The L.A. Shrews, or maybe even the L.A. Killer Shrews
The San Diego Kitten Whips.
Southern Sun Racing? Explosive action and clean, clean floors?
The Minnesota Vikings of Sinbad.
College Football’s Air Force Starfighters. Nothing much happens during their games, but it’s always thrilling to see the on-the-fly Gatorade umbilical refillings.
The Huntington, West Virginia Stranglers.
Special at all concession stands: Nudie on a Slab–a knockwurst on toast with no condiments.
The Horrors of Spider Island
The Carlsbad (NM) Cave Dwellers
The Santa Claus (Indiana) Martians
The Minnesota Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent
The Gleason Giant Spiders. Medium-rare chicken served at every game since 1902.
NBA
The Sacramento Kingas
like most of there games (from one who knows).
Oh, yeah. Professional bicycle racing.
…but their cheerleaders…https://s16-us2.startpage.com/cgi-bin/serveimage?url=https%3A%2F%2Fm.media-amazon.com%2Fimages%2FM%2FMV5BNGU1MjU3MjktOGE1ZC00MmZiLWI5MTMtYjMzMzgwMmRjNmE0XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNzU1NzE3NTg%40._V1_CR0%2C45%2C480%2C270_AL_UX477_CR0%2C0%2C477%2C268_AL_.jpg&sp=fb5a99cd5046ecad1efa0f1a2690c453
Detroit Droppos (the laziest team on…..um…..in Detroit)
News from around the league…
The Citrusville Wild Rebels have announced they are relocating to Kicksville
ValnaStar Wolf Raiders have signed Ken to a multi year contract
Softball champs The Nardo Diamonds look to defend their title this year
the Deep Hurting from Deep 13.
The Albuquerque Moon Beasts, of course!
The Atlanta Rowsdowers. They get beaten up a lot and wonder if there is beer on the sun.