Movie: (1956) A Russian hero leads the fight against invading Mongols.
First shown: 12/3/94
Opening: Tom leads Mike and Crow in a game Dungeons & Dragons
Intro: The Mads get a visit from their new neighbors in Deep 12, and ask M&TB to entertain; they soon regret it
Host segment 1: “A joke by Ingmar Bergman”
Host segment 2: M&tB reenact the table cloth making scene
Host segment 3: Ilya Murametz visits on the Hexfield
End: Gypsy’s review of the musical, The Mads have been on a date
Stinger: The wind demon takes a dive
(202 votes, average: 4.34 out of 5)
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• Of course, this is the third of the Ptushko Russo-Finnish trilogy, starring a lot of the same people as “Day the Earth Froze” and “Magic Voyage of Sinbad.” Like the other two, it’s based on Russo-Finnish mythology/legend, is a very pretty and clearly very expensive movie and is completely OUT THERE. The riffers have plenty to work with here and the riffing almost HAS to be good, and it is. The host segments are fun…mostly.
• You can find this episode in Shout’s Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection: Vol XXIV.
• When this first aired, it was the fourth new episode in 10 days. MSTies were delirious. It went back to the more typical weekly schedule after this, and within months the show was to go away for quite a while, but this embarrassment of riches was nice while it lasted.
• The opening segment is wacky fun, though “I must take my own life” is probably not the funniest punchline, especially for a sketch about this topic.
• The first time I saw this, when Mike said “Mordor and Rivendell” I said “Those are places!” right along with Tom. What a Tolkien nerd I am.
• In fact the Mads are also very nerdy this week, what with the comic books in plastic bags and the fear of girls.
• That’s Mary Jo (in Deep 13 for the second week in a row) and Bridget, of course, as the girls from Deep 12. Never did find that laundry room, I’m guessing…
• “Supercalifragilisticexpeali-wacky!” is sort of The Capital Steps meets Mark Russell. So, not really funny at all.
• When Servo riffs: “I’m Mike Wallace,” it’s because the writers thought the movie’s narrator really sounded like late “60 Minutes” reporter. But, guess what: Wallace did a lot of things in his career (he was even a game show host) and there’s a reason that voice sounds like him–It really is him!
• Non-spaghetti ball bumpers: Book, bulletin board, film canister.
• Segment 1 was much discussed in the forums. It moved too slowly for some people. Also, not everybody knew who Ingmar Bergman was, and not everybody was familiar with the Upper Midwestern tradition of “Sven and Ole” jokes. So it took some explaining.
• Callback: o/` “Heeey, it’s the undersea kingdom…” o/`
• Call-forward: a “Legend of Boggy Creek” mention.
• Segment 2 is very silly, and another chance for Gypsy to shine. I love the lyrics to her song.
• As for segment 3, well, let’s just give Kevin credit for committing to the bit. “HAM,” indeed!
• Cast and crew roundup: With a few exceptions, everybody here either worked on The Day The Earth Froze (I’ll call it “Day”) and “Magic Voyage of Sinbad” (I’ll call it “Sinbad”). If they worked on both, I’ll just say “both.” Producer/director Aleksandr Ptushko of course worked on both. Cinematographer Fyodor Provorov worked on “Sinbad.” Special effects director Aleksei Renkov worked on “Day.” Costumer Olga Kruchinina worked on “Sinbad.” Production designer Yevgeni Kumankov was art director on “Sinbad.” Music conductor: S. Sakharov worked on “Day, as did score composer Igor Morozov.
In front of the camera Yelena Myshkova was in “Sinbad.” as were Sergei Stolyarov and Sovol Martinson. Buncha commies, the lot of ’em, I’m sure.
One other note: the voice of Kalin and several other voices in this are provided by the great Paul Frees, who wrote and directed “The Beatniks” and whose voice pops up in several other MSTed movies.
• CreditsWatch: Host segments directed by Kevin Murphy. Mike wrote the music for “Supercalafragalisticexpialawacky!!!” The entire staff wrote the lyrics.
• Fave riff: “This baby can handle everything but a three-headed drago-…aw, son of a…” Honorable mentions: “Finland’s annual emotional outburst” and “Kiss your aunt Bernice.”
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Awesome episode. The movie itself is great, but still MSTieable in a fun way.
My favorite joke:
Crow (very quietly), when Ilya groans while sitting: “Splash..”
Um…
Babylon 5 was on last night.
“When you out of slits, you are out of pier.”
Yes, I can imagine that can be taken from the writings of Henrik Ibsen.
I’m very late on this, but I had to add my dissenting opinion.
The movie was great, the riffs superb, the host segments for the most part were funny as heck (Tom really does NOT know how to play D&D, evidently) and I loved it intensely.
But the Ingmar Bergman sketch was unbelievably tedious and dull for such a lame punchline. If you’re going to have a lengthy, dreary setup, don’t do it for a punchline based on a commercial no one remembers. Heck, they don’t even make Schlitz anymore, I’m told.
my favorite part is when they mix in a little mountain dew.
SURGE!
Nah, this one is just okay. Oh, they throw in the occasional great riff but it does not achieve the greatness of Day the Earth Froze and Jack Frost.
The Bergman skit is the highlight of the ep. I’ve always been a Bergman fan and the parody is dead on, as is the joke. Brilliant pacing and all.
And isn’t the host seg also a play on the phrase “A long walk off a short pier?” Or am I making that up? Maybe I should just Google it. Nah, I think I’ll go find some ham.
My girlfriend really got a kick out of the seagull noises in the Bergman skit, again so dead on.
B
Hi, I’m from Russia and I’m kinda confused with all the Russo-Finnish jokes in almost every episode featuring Soviet-made film (except Per Aspera Ad Astra aka Humanoid Woman). Maybe they were imported to the US through Finlad (like Humanoid Woman is referred to as Czechoslovakian import), but I can assure you that there is no such thing as “Ptushko Russo-Finnish trilogy”. It applies only to Sampo aka The Day the Earth Froze, which was indeed Soviet-Finnish co-production loosely based on Finnish epic Kalevala (which also influenced J.R.R. Tolkien’s writings and language studies, but that’s a different story). Sadko (The Magic Voyage of Sinbad) and Ilya Muromets (The Sword and the Dragon) were Soviet-only production based on two medieval Russian epic tales. They have no connections neither with Sampo, nor with each other, so they are no “trilogy”. And it certainly does not apply to Jack Frost, which is a Soviet-only fairy tale for children and was made by a different director, Aleksandr Rou.
Hope that cleared it up.
How can you not have fun with a movie where George Clinton attacks King Friday’s kingdom? ;)
GREAT episode. I always enjoy the riffs on fantasy/folktale/sword-n-sandal type movies, and the Russo-Finnish (or just Russian) ones are the most fun. This seems like one of those movies where the atrocious dubbing is about 75% of the reason why the movie is so bad, because it does look like the original film-makers put at least some marginal effort into the whole thing. The one part that stood out to me as especially cheesy, visually, was the dragon, which makes even the cheapest Toho monsters look like the T-Rex from “Jurassic Park”. But at least with the horde scenes, there actually *was* a whole horde of extras. And Central Asian-looking ones too, not just random Nordic guys with tan body paint. So I’ll give ’em that. There’s still plenty to make fun of, though, and the riffing is top-notch.
And Mike as the little kid is really cute :smile:
The intro before the movie is BEAUTIFUL!!
SUPERCALIFRALIGISTALLA-WACKY
I just have to say on behalf of all the hardcore nerds out there that no one in their right mind would attack a Balrog with a fireball spell.
Thanks for the update….my kids eat like Bugs Bunny so will make sure the carrots are all organic now!
i for one am among the shamed multitude who can relate to the D&D opening. and the various sci-fi and comic bo- i mean graphic novel references. i really do like this episode alot. i get a little meh! on the second host segment which i can’t explain because i really like the Ingmar Bergman joke. BTW i showed a tape of this to my former high school D&D group. Our former Dungeon Master was NOT amused at the comparisons to Tom Servo. even if they were true.
You know, the Bergman/Sven/Ole joke is an even longer walk when you’ve never before heard the slogan “When you’re out of Schlitz, you’re out of beer.” I remember a Far Side cartoon with a vampire saying “When you’re out of AB positive, you’re out of blood,” which also confused me for many years.
(I’ll call it “Sinbad.”)
But he’s not Sinbad. :P
I find the pre-movie host segments to be cringe-inducingly unfunny and just skip to the main feature whenever I pop this one into the DVD player. The Bergman sketch mostly leaves me cold, probably due to my being unfamiliar with his films. Kevin as Ilya Murametz was hilarious though.
Overall, I regard this as the weakest of the Russian/Finnish films, primarily due to its being so disjointed.
Favorite riffs:
Here’s a soap sliver. Please spare my life.
Hold on, I’m having a montage.
Let’s get you far enough away where they won’t hear the gunshot.
I saw him wet them on the field of honor.
The wind demon has killed a lot of people, but it’s all in good fun.
“I escaped, after spending months in bondage.”
That was the good part.
Please dispose of your Mongols properly.
Oh, and it goes without saying, do it like the dogs you are.
61 robot rump: “shamed multitude” would be a good band name.
I love this ep just for the puns, the best being “it’s a Tugar pile-up!” which of course, it is. Though it’s beautifully shot, the plot does seem do bog down once we reach the climactic final battle… as M&TB point out, is this still part of Ilya’s plan, ’cause it’s a good plan. When he discovers his son, the 3 friends plot strategy, a dragon appears; it seems like the movie’s just throwing things at us. Maybe blame it on Corman’s editing. (He did edit this, right?)
The character of Kalin is impressive, the actor too. I wonder if Paul Frees got the part of Boris Badenov based on this release; did it pre-date Bullwinkle? hm. I should relax.
As was mentioned early in the movie by M&TB “Man, this movie is already fifty times more expensive than all the movies we’ve seen put together.” I can appreciate the rubles that went into this movie, but it didn’t make it any more watchable.
Favorite lines:
George Clinton.
First thing, I take off the burlap dress.
[walking the horse] Let’s get you far enough away where they don’t hear the gunshot.
[The Wind Demon] Clint Howard.
Somebody get me a bucket, I’m gonna throw up. [a nod to Mr. Creosote]
Yes, Finland is a four season vacation paradise.
I’m going to Helsinki to personally spear that stump throwing son of a bitch.
[father strikes son] Gees, who am I, Gary Crosby?
Cattle call for Sound of Music.
“I have found my true father.” Did you follow the trail of beer cans?
I love the smell of dragon breath in the morning.
Hey, they captured Billy Barty.
Final Thought: I give this one 2 out of 5 stars.
Frank is bagging an Alien Nation comic book. I loved that Fox show. Meanwhile Clay talks about taping Tek Wars. I never saw the show, but some of those books were surprisingly good.
And for the record (and I speak as a comic book collector myself) those are comic books they are bagging in the opening segment. There is a difference between a comic book and a graphic novel. A comic book is the 30ish page regularily published issue. A graphic novel is as the name suggests a longer form (usually one shot as opposed to continuing serial story) single story.
Supercalifragilisticexpeali-wacky felt a lot like a Joel era sketch to me. It is both a subject matter and delivery I’d associate with Joel.
Mike wears the bunny suit into the theater following the second host segments. However the bots are no longer wearing their costumes.
Sampo’s theorem time. This episode did nothing for me. I didn’t like it. I didn’t hate it either. It was just simply there.
Favorite Riffs:
The wind demon blows causing barrels to go UP the stairs. Tom sings “Roll up the barrels”
Birds gather on a branch. Crow “Hey we all drop on three.”
Ilya to his wife “if you bear a son” Crow “I want to know who the father is.”
Mike “This baby can handle anything but a three headed dragon… ah son of a…”
I want to say this about this movie: more than any other film I’ve ever seen, this one nails the look and, more elusively, the FEEL of any given culture’s epic hero myth cycle, to wit, the almost psychotic lack of logic throughout the proceedings (crystallized in the movie when Ilya chooses the road that leads to death after deciding he doesn’t need riches and has no time for a wife – brilliant).
Actually, watching this movie makes me want to learn more about ol’ Ilya Mourometz. If I had the time, I’d probably do some actual research on him.
Proof that the show is in the not-too-distant-future: Frank asks if Clay has seen his “X-Men #354”. Uncanny X-Men #354 had a publication date of April 1998. This only enhances the show’s awesomeness for me.
One of my favorite episodes of all time. Absolutely hilarious riffing, fantastic host segments, and an amazing movie. I’m constantly astounded by what they were able to do with the limited effects available to them (the movie makers, that is). This is in my top 3 MST3K episodes of all time (along with Godzilla vs Megalon & Gorgo – these are all movies I love on their own, and with riffing). I’d give it 11/5 stars, if possible.
I just love the style of these movies – the over-the-top acting & high drama (maybe ultra-drama?), and of course the beautiful visuals.
The Bergman Joke sketch is also one of my all-time favorite host segments.
I’m one of the many who can relate to the whole D&D and comics thing. And yes, as stated above, you should never use a fireball on a Balrog (or any fire-element creature), you’ll just make it stronger. You’ll never smote it’s ruin upon the mountainside that way, my friend.
Very uneven episode for me and I even loved the Bergman segment. The brains being scared of girls and being comic book nerds just seemed a little too stereotypical for me, I agree with the other commenter who asked “Are they evil? Are they gay? What are they?” They just didn’t seem to be the same characters as in the classic UView sketch, where we see that Frank is perfectly capable of going out with Michelle Pfeiffer if he would just leave the room. I loved Frank’s “Is nothing sacred to you guys?” delivery after the Supercallifragilisticexpialliwackey sketch, classic Frank.
As for the movie, I think this episode is the worst of its ilk (Day the Earth Froze and Jack Frost being the best) but it’s still OK. Just OK though so I give it 3 stars.
This is my all time least watched episode. When the DVD came out I treated it as a ‘lost’ episode and put it in with excitement. But I just can’t get through it. I’m a huge comic and D&D geek, but this movie is dull and the skits are among the worst ever. And Dr. F and Frank turning into gay ninnies is just lazy and unfunny.
To add to my previous comments, I love these little epics, because they’re so rich with detail and adventure. I’m still not certain why Prince Zander turns against Ilya Mourometz because of “not being at a battle,” or what losing gold from torn sacks while delivering it to Kalin actually accomplished, and that makes everything even funnier. One funny moment occurs as Mike & the Bots “help” the movie make its point: the Princess says “Well, which of your nobles will you send to fight them? Here they are! Choose one!” and Mike and the bots make “cowardly noble noises.” Add to that the hammy performances which Kevin Murphy sends up so well (“ONLY A TUGAR WOULD ORDER OFF THE MENU!”) and it adds up to a really fun episode.
I actually like the Mads’ brief foray into comic-book nerd-dom. I was like that once.
Regarding the D&D segment, my only experience with the game was back in middle school. A bunch of us wanted to try it, but it took so long to set it up that we just figured, “Forget it.” Never tried it again.
And it’s a bit sad to think that, somewhere, someone will look at “SupercalifraguliusticexpiallaWACKY!” and say, “Boy, that’s just as relevant now as it was when they first did it!”
Someone asked about Ilya’s wife’s name. I was confused by that too, so I looked into it. Ilya’s wife’s name was Vassilisa, but was shortened to Vilya in the English dub. Some more fun facts, courtesy the all-knowing Wikipedia:
I was wondering where the Finnish stuff came from, too. The movie feels pretty Russian to me, even after Corman got done with it.
Embarassingly, I just had the “When you’re out of Schlitz, you’re out of beer” joke explained to me in this past weekend’s discussion thread. I still think it’s much too long a walk for a small pay-off, but I must admire the fortitude the Brains showed in going through with it. And Swedish accents are always funny, so there’s that.
One of the problems of being a MSTie is that one is usually culturally well-rounded enough to catch the jokes; unfortunately, that also means that one is well-rounded enough to be annoyed when they get things wrong. The Finland jokes ruin this episode for me, since I want to scream at the screen, “It’s Russia!!” Especially considering there’s actually nothing about the Finland jokes that couldn’t have worked equally well as a Russian joke. They actually get more mileage suggesting that the setting is Minnesota.
Oh, and this one seems to be more awkwardly edited than most–there are lots of odd jumps from one scene to the next; even some that appear to begin mid-scene (the one where Ilya is finally released from the dungeon is one example). The film seems to be a lot more chaotic and random than it probably is–but I’m not sure if that’s Corman’s fault or the Brains’. This is probably the weakest of the Russian films they did–if they hadn’t roared back to form with “Jack Frost,” I’d say it was one Russian film too many.
This is one of my favorite episodes and the BEST of the russo-finnsh movies they did! I think this movie is so awesome, I’m going to buy a dvd of it’s non-mst form.
Compared to the other Russo-Finnish movies (I know, I know, it’s not Finnish, but that’s what we’ve been calling them for years. Too late now…) this one is on the level of MAGIC VOYAGE OF SINBAD, not quite up to the heights of DAY THE EARTH FROZE or JACK FROST, but still really enjoyable and funny. I enjoy these movies, they’re big and bold, colorful and oh-so weird at times, they are a nice change of pace from the usual stuff that they riff on, especially in Season 6, which features a lot of dull, drab, b/w movies.
The opening with the Supercalifragilisticexpeali-wacky song-and-dance is great stuff, someone else pointed it out, but it feels like a Joel-era skit. I love Crow’s line of, “I’m the crime bill, BANG BANG! I’m the crime bill, BANG BANG!! I get shot at every day!” —-(more things change the more they stay the same, eh??)—–
The Host Segments are all good-to-great (HS#3 being the weakest), and I love HS#1 with the Joke by Ingmar Bergman. The soundscape created during that scene is marvelous, the use of wind, birds, dogs barking, it’s all very Bergmanesque, as is the entire look and pace of the skit. The set-up cracks me up (“Sven….” “……Jah.”). The punchline….well, honestly, in last weeks Discussion Thread about puns, I learned what the punchline actually means (a reference to a Schlitz beer commercial) and it doesn’t make it any funnier, it does at least alleviate my confusion. Full Disclosure: I am a Bergman fan; love The Seventh Seal, The Virgin Spring, Persona, The Magician, and more. The mash-up of Bergman style and MST humor is a pure winner.
In HS#2, Gypsy’s song is cute and funny, but Mike in a bunny suit reminds me of this Kids in the Hall skit: http://www.myspace.com/video/vid/1102293
HS#3 is the weakest, but it does make me want HAM! HAM!
–
RIFFS:
Crow: “At long last, our nation says NO to renaissance fairs.”
Mike: “Hold on, I’m having a montage.”
Mike: “Why are you older than me, son?”
Mike: “Where are the ROUS’s?” —-Rodents of Unusual Size, a PRINCESS BRIDE reference…
Crow: “Yuck, Dorito breath.”
Servo: “Jake and the Fatman is different than I remember.”
Mike: “This legend could use some punching up.”
Servo: “Legend of Boggy Creek had more depth.”
Crow: “Woodstock 2 ends in tragedy..” —-actually, it would be Woodstock 3 (in 1999) that would be tragic.
Mike: “Chad, I have a BIG problem with this.”
Servo: “Why did you lick me, son?”
Mike (about the dragon): “The poor little guy is just scared.”
Mike: “But Ilya’s son did bring dishonor, he traded the sword for a lid and got high in the palace.”
–
This is a solid episode,
BANG BANG!!
4/5 swords and dragons.
–
“If you’re Russian when you go in, and you’re Finnish when you leave, what are you while in the bathroom?”
“European.”
:laugh:
#63 – I’ve only seen Bergman’s (arguably) most famous film, The Seventh Seal, and there’s really nothing like MST’s “Bergman sketch” in that movie. I’ve just always thought of that HS as making fun of slow, dumb, midwestern Swedes.
In the Kevin “HAM!” sketch, I’ve never been able to figure out what he says at one point – it sounds like he exclaims ‘Anna kuchen!” or something that sounds like that in… German? Norwegian? I don’t know. Can anyone clear this up for me?
I hope I’m not being a downer. I watched this episode on my computer a couple of years ago right after Thanksgiving. I heard the riff about “R.O.U.S.” and knew it was from The Princess Bride. My first thought was to tell one of the managers at work about it because she always talked about that movie. But I caught myself mid-thought. See, she had just died of a brain tumor a few days earlier, and she was battling cancer for about 4 years. Her death was so recent that I had briefly forgot it. She hadn’t been on the night shift for a few years, so whenever we saw her it was great because she’s one boss everyone cared about. At her funeral, people who used to work for her showed up from over an hour away in a snowstorm. She meant that much. So now I think of her when I watch this episode.
Yeah, i loved the Supercalifragilisticexpeali-WACKY skit for some reason…i grew up with alot of PBS, so it brings back repressed memories of Mark Russell. Honk! Honk! Beep! Beep! Government Gridlock!
“I might not reach Death tonight…I’ll spend the night at Serious Injury and head over to Permanent Disability in the morning…”
“I’ve never hit a damn thing! It’s astounding!”
Yeah, I love Crow’s “I’ve never hit a damn thing, it’s astounding!” The guys can come up with the perfect comedic tone. I can’t really put it in words. At this moment in the film, Little Falcon just looks so filled with mirth. It kills me. And early in the movie the offer of a cute little pony is made to our hero, and Mike says in a very dismissive tone, “Oh, that’s okay, I’ll walk,” and Crow giggles. I’ve played back that moment up more than once, I can tell ya. Yup, I like this one.
The Sven & Ole skit takes its look & feel from Bergman movies like “Persona”, “Through a Glass Darkly”, etc. It’s the combining of those bleak, angst-ridden portrayals of the essential loneliness of the human condition with the d’uh-oh Three Stooges-level humor of the payoff, that makes HS 1 a classic. If the punch line had been _funny_ the segment wouldn’t have worked.
I.M.H.O.
Here I rank the Russian movies.
1. Jack Frost
2. Sinbad
3. The Day The Earth Froze
4. This
Don’t take it the wrong way, I enjoy this episode. I especially like how it feels so out of place in Season 6, which is filled to the brim with talky, dark movies.
The reason it’s my least favorite is because the segments, despite other people fawning over them, aren’t really that great in my opinion (a problem I have with a lot of s6 eps), and the Finland jokes are a little awkward when you know the movie is not Finnish. Still a decent episode, but I prefer the other Russian riffings.
Fred Burroughs #61: I wonder if Paul Frees got the part of Boris Badenov based on this release; did it pre-date Bullwinkle?
According to Daddy-O’s Drive-in Dirt, the film was released Stateside in 1960. Rocky and His Friends premiered in 1959. So no.
“Legend of Boggy Creek” wasn’t much like it’s two sequels.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s not a great movie, but by the standards of 1970s drive-in cryptid docudramas it’s actually fairly effective. It’s a glimpse into a life style and a culture that otherwise wouldn’t have been seen. And there’s a certain melancholy power to it all.
@79: “Pfannekuchen,” roughly, which corresponds to “pancake” in various Germanic languages.
I am not among the “shamed multitudes” with experience in D&D, because I have played many a session of D&D and other tabletop RPGs, and I feel no shame about it whatsoever. Nerd pride!
I love Supercalifragilisticexpeali-wacky, it’s a wonderful bit. The D&D opening is excellent as well. For years, after the strong start, the movie would begin and I would fall asleep or tune out. But recently, I have “broken through” with the episode, and I enjoy the whole thing now. It’s very varied and disjointed, but that’s MST at it’s best. Another winner from mid season 6.
Some major bleakness coming up over the next few weeks, probably the darkest point of the show. And I love almost every minute of it.
I haven’t seen Jack Frost yet, so I can’t comment on that, but I concur with other posters who have said that this is their least fave of the “trilogy”. I still really like it though, but something about this episode is different than the others. Part of it is definitely the movie itself, being not as goofy as The Day the Earth Froze and Sinbad, but that’s not the only reason. Is it the riffs? The host segments? I’m not sure, but it’s still a pretty good episode.
3.5 of 5.
When this episode first aired in Dec. 1994 I was struck by how much it made me think of a particular song…
So I created this music video and sent it to the guys at MST3K. Please enjoy “One Tin Soldier vs. The Sword and the Dragon”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2494nATChY
I wonder how many people who would look down their noses at D&D players have spent their time playing video games? More to the point, games like World of Warcraft, Diablo, et. all. Heck, Halo is just Traveller (aka D&D in space).
The Sword and the Dragon fails the Bechdel Test. At no point do two females converse.
The Commies one-up Disney by having their goofy woodland critter antics done in live action.
Smoothie of Great Power #7: According to a bit of trivia on imdb, over 100,000 extras were included for this.
I can definitely believe that.
Favorite riffs
When one sword tries to get along with an incorrigible dragon.
This movie is already fifty times more expensive than the movies we’ve seen put together.
Here’s a soap sliver. Please spare my life.
I should warn you I’m just a torso.
Hold on. I’m having a montage.
Let’s get you far enough away where they won’t hear the gunshot.
“Riches would give me little joy.”
But I’ll take them anyway.
It’s the Finnish version of Night Court.
I saw him wet them on the field of honor.
The wind demon has killed a lot of people, but it’s all in good fun.
“Take this lance. It was forged for a mighty warrior.”
He never claimed it.
“For the one whom I love the best.”
The milkman?
“If you bear a son…”
I want to know who the father is.
“I escaped, after spending months in bondage.”
That was the good part.
“Do not let him into the palace.”
Not with his shoes on.
“It’s not in the streets that treachery is planned, oh my prince.”
It’s at a Chili’s.
These pants have stirred something deep inside me.
I’m going to Helsinki to personally spear that stump-throwing son of a bitch.
“And for that traitor, the boiling tar.”
With croutons and melted cheese.
Please dispose of your Mongols properly.
Oh, and it goes without saying, do it like the dogs you are!
“But it is not enough.”
I want Moose and Squirrel.
“I wish him to be burned alive.”
Like a dog, sir?
Fifty thousand Maria Von Trapps face off against the Mongol horde.
Now I was a baby when I last saw her, so I’ll need to see all your breasts.
It’s a Tugar pile-up.
I love the smell of dragon breath in the morning.
Great, dragon sandwiches for the next month.
“We shall be proud to have with us the son of Ilia Muromets.”
Even though he is a Mongol bastard.
Throw down your hot dogs!
I don’t know. These Soviet epics are fun, to be sure, but sometimes I’d sooner watch a cheesy 70s or 80s film. I feel the same way about the Hercules films. Regardless, this one is goofy enough to enjoy, and is it just me or does Mike once again seem to get a little TOO into it when he’s in the bunny costume?
Fave Riffs
They spent all their money on a fortress, but forgot to put in a gate!
“I would gladly lay down my life…”
For a hamburger today!
“Tell me your fondest wish…”
Pudding. Lots of pudding.
They’re all those things, and less.
Absolutely, without reservation (dinner *or* Indian), the most under-rated MST episode. Just so epic, full of color, effects, crazy on-screen moments, and great riffs. I mean, who among us has never repeated the classic riff “Let us the Nasty do.”
And wherever Ilya went, he carried his pool cue.
Gare
The most humiliating thing you’ve ever done SO FAR…
There’s these two Hittites named Sven and Ole.
The first time I saw this, when Mike said “Mordor and Rivendell” I said “Those are places!” right along with Tom. What a Tolkien nerd I am.
Maybe in 1994, but I don’t think it qualifies as being particularly nerdy these days. Those names are entry-level now, if not exactly mainstream (thanks, Peter Jackson).
I say it’s Russian
And you say it’s Finnish,
I say it’s rhubarb
and you say it’s spinach,
Russian/Finnish
rhubarb/spinach,
let’s call the whole thing off!
and the message continues…
Really, though, I don’t see any contradiction in anyone being both a bumbling evil scientist and a gay geek. There are bumbling geeks, there are gay geeks, so there could easily be bumbling gay geeks, and any of them could also be scientists; scientists are, in fact, unless I’m mistaken, notorious for being geeks. Evil is, of course, subjective.
When you think about it (“So don’t think about it.”), Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory qualifies as all of these: He’s a scientist and geek who can sometimes be bumbling and who in some people’s opinions sends off gay vibes and/or acts, well, KIND OF evil. I guess. Sort of.