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Weekend Discussion Thread: MSTed Characters on the Moon

Alert regular John notes:

Being it is the 50th anniversary of the moon landing, how about a thread where if MST3K movie characters were the first to step foot on the moon? What would they do there? What would their iteration of the famous “One small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” be?

‘Fugitive Alien’s’ Ken and Captain Joe land the LEM. Ken sets foot on the moon. Captain Joe takes off without him and exclaims over the radio “Ha ha ha ha ha!…You’re stuck here!”

Have at it!

70 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: MSTed Characters on the Moon”

  1. mando3b says:

    Mskkonin from Phantom Planet steps onto the surface of the moon, looks toward earth and says: “Y’know, Houston, every day of my life I become more convinced that . . . “


  2. Terry the Sensitive Knight says:

    “Flag on the moon, how’d it get there?”


  3. nomad says:

    I think it’d be great if the crew from Rocketship X-M actually landed on the moon, which was their original destination, and encountered a Moon Man with giant knees. The Moon Man calls himself “Torgo… I look after the moon while the Master is away!”


  4. doug says:

    They’re going on a tour of Singapore, but the dancers get knocked off course and wind up on the moon. There, they have several catfights, Gary turns into a spider and they wait for regular people to come save them.


  5. Midwestern Tanuki says:

    I am going to go a different direction with this because I started to overthink my original comment.

    In a “Scooby Doo meets” like crossover that few would see coming, Jonah and the Bots meet the Aquabats! .

    Episode guide: 1XXXX – Attack of the Super Monsters

    Movie: (1982) Lead by the their leader, Lord Tyrannus, dinosaurs come out of hiding to threaten the human race and reclaim the Earth and it’s up to the science group, Gemini Force, to stop them. ( Another Sandy Frank film made of spliced together episodes of a 1970’s Japanese Sci-fi show. This time it’s Dinosaur War Izenborg. )

    Opening: Moon 13 is having an open house public event to raise funds for more movies including a silent auction of past inventions. Attendees include the band, The Aquabats!. Meanwhile a mysterious figure dressed like RatFink from Wild World of Batwoman lurks in the background.
    Invention exchange: An out of breath Max reveals that all the inventions have been stolen by the mysterious stranger. The only item still up for auction is a spend a day on the SOL with four of your friends which is won by the MC Bat Commander who thought he was bidding on the Band-Eat-O from Episode 1106.
    Segment 1: The SOL Crew and The Bats discuss possible identities of the mysterious stranger and where the inventions could be.
    Segment 2: Tom, Crow, and Jimmy the Robot discuss the pros and cons of the Gemini transfer. While Johan , Ricky Fitness, and MC Bat Commander continue to try to piece together the idenity of the mysterious stranger is.
    Segment 3: The SOL Crew and the Bats chase the mysterious stranger Scobby Doo style around the SOL and Moon 13 ending with Crash McLarson fighting the dinosaurs from the Moon 14 ranch.
    Closing: Johan, the Bots, The Aquabats and the mysterious shadow figure have a food fight on the moon before being stopped by Kinga. The mysterious figure is unmasked as Max.
    Stinger: Lord Tyrannus, Allosaurus, Stegosaurus, or Pteranodon screaming “DESTROY!” as the anime citizens flee in terror.

    -Callbacks: Phil the Alien gangster (Episode #801) and the High Priest and King from Mole People (this time played by Game Grumps, Arin Hanson and Dan Avidan,) are among the open house attendees during the opening and invention exchange segments.
    During the commercial break bumpers, The Boneheads play an instrumental versions of the Sandy Frank Song. The Mighty Jack dog food ad, and the Tibby love ballad.
    The small clone T.Rex from (Episode #618) appears briefly during segment 3’s chase.
    Mc BAT Commander names off different Aquabat villains during segment 1.
    – Cast and Crew roundup: Besides the Ultraman series, Tsuburaya Productions also did the special effects for Time of the Apes, Mighty Jack, and Fugitive Alien.
    – The Aquabats do a ska cover of the MST3k theme during the closing credits.


  6. Mibbitmaker says:

    The astronauts land on the moon. There, they find a female dancer who is clearly zonked on drugs and depressed. The astronauts decide she really needs help only earth can provide, so, by mission’s end, they take her with them.

    Once on earth, she sees someone; a NASA psychiatrist who seemed to resemble that SPACOM commander from Project Moonbase. Not long into the session, she begins sobbing, “I WANT MY PRETTY MOON BACK!”


  7. jay says:

    Wild Wild Moon of Batwoman –

    Batwoman steps out onto the Moon’s surface wearing a space suit emblazoned with a bat emblem she drew with her eyeliner pencil and proceeds to chase Neil and Buzz round and round the LEM for no apparent reason. On the way back into orbit to meet Mike Collins in the Columbia they enjoy milk and cookies she smuggled aboard the LEM ignoring the crumbs floating dangerously around them in the micro-gravity. Collins did not mind that they did not save any cookies for him thanks to the happy pill dissolved in his Tang.


  8. Ro-man, aka one of several possible Steves says:

    … but there was no moon landing.


  9. Say No To Yes says:

    Gene Hackman exits the lunar lander, sobbing like an infant, then turns to face the camera beaming images back to NASA, and begins freaking out, screaming “GET US OUT OF HERE!” Meanwhile, back on Earth, Gregory Peccary turns to David Jansen, shaking his head and scowling with disappointment. “No, no, no, no, no, no… that was NOT how that was supposed to go.”


  10. Warren says:

    Max Keller descends the LEM’s ladder, touches the surface, then says….something. Nobody at mission control has a clue what he’s saying. He later claims that he saw a young Japanese woman in a bikini driving a lunar vehicle, causing him to stutter.
    Maciste/Hercules sets foot on the lunar surface, only to find more Moon Men. His first words are “These guys…again! I thought I finished them off.”


  11. Kenneth Morgan says:

    Thanks to a ripple in space/time, this happens:
    As Eagle heads in for landing, Armstrong & Aldrin find their planned touchdown site isn’t suitable. Armstrong takes the controls and moves the ship away to a better landing area. With his fuel low and time running out, he’s about to set the ship down…only to find Moon Zero Two already there on his spot. And, as he steps off the ladder, Bill Kemp looks up and says, “Sorry, fellas. You were late. First come, first down.”


  12. jay says:

    Out from the LEM climbs an astronaut in a spacesuit very much resembling a maroon jumpsuit. Why, it’s Joel Robinson! He looks to his right. He looks to his left. He steps off the landing pad and on to the lunar surface.
    “The whole Moon is a circus if you look at it the right way. Every time you pick up a handful of dust, and see not the dust, but a mystery, a marvel, there in your hand, every time you stop and think, “I’m alive, and being alive is fantastic!” Every time such a thing happens, Houston, you are part of the Circus of Dr. Lao.”


  13. Houston, Tranquility Base here…It’ll be a nice day if it doesn’t rain.

    Copy that, Tranquility Base. It’s always a nice day if it doesn’t rai……..D’oh! You’re on the Moon, Tranquility Base! There’s no rain on the Moon!

    I’d also like to give a shout out to Mark and Roger down at Houston. They do a super job. Oh yeah.


  14. Cornjob says:

    The singer from The Beatniks gets sent to the Moon to promote his latest single. But when he goes down the ladder to the surface Moony is waiting there to Moon him.


  15. Murdock Hauser says:

    Off-topic but the last host segment of Boggy Creek 2, Bradley J. Keely can be seen wearing a Warren Moon Minnesota Vikings jersey. Also, Warren Moon began his NFL career with the Houston Oilers.


  16. jay says:

    Tim from Boggy Creek II steps down from the LEM and immediately tries to take his shirt off. His first and only quote is “GASP! Aaaaah…”.


  17. Captain Howdy says:

    That’s one small step for Crow …


    One giant leap for Crow Nation …


  18. yelling_into_the_void says:

    Tim from Boggy Creek II steps down from the LEM and immediately tries to take his shirt off.His first and only quote is “GASP!Aaaaah…”.

    The Runaway from Future War “accidentally” loses the top half of his suit while fighting the Cyborg Overseer.


  19. mando3b says:

    Characters from 12 to the Moon making the first moon landing 50 years ago–as each steps out of the lander they say:
    Gruff German scientist: “Ahhh, ridiculous!”
    African navigator: “It’s beautiful–but EVIL!!”
    French commie: “Zeese Amairicain pigdogs are going to take all ze credit!”
    American flight captain Chunk Manmusk: “Now to spread my seed!”


  20. “You say one word to anyone and I’m gonna MOON you!”

    (The Beatniks)


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