Short: (1949) Helpful advice to make you a better public speaker.
Movie: (1966) An escaped convict and his two pals take part in the Bay of Pigs invasion, then return home with a plan to get rich.
First shown: 12/17/94
Opening: Tom pumps out tonight’s lotto numbers
Intro: Frank owes the mob $50 large, but they stomp Dr. F. instead; meanwhile M&tB hit the casino
Host segment 1: Frank exhorts the nearly-dead Dr. F.
Host segment 2: Mike is Carol Channing; Dr. F. gets “hope you die” wishes
Host segment 3: Dr. F. lives, dies and lives again, but the mob says otherwise
End: M&tB sing a happy, upbeat song, Dr. F. is feeling better
Stinger: Blind lady playing piano
(253 votes, average: 4.55 out of 5)
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• I maintain that this is easily the worst movie MST3K ever did, and is in the running for worst movie EVER MADE (and, yes, I’ve seen “The Apple”). And for that reason, I LOVE this episode. The badness really drives M&tB at great riffing heights. And that doesn’t even count the wonderful, hilarious short. And host segments are a lot of fun too.
• Rhino released this on DVD as a single
• References.
• That’s a neat trick shooting the balls out of Tom. I love the way Kevin grunts as he sends each one skyward.
• Slightly unusual: many of the segments take place in Deep 13 rather than on the SOL.
• That’s Mary Jo as the increasingly rare Magic Voice.
• Slam on Denny Dillon outta nowhere! Also Amanda Bearse.
• Carradine was in a HUGE number of movies, but keep in mind that many of them are movies like this.
• Segment 1 is lots of fun. The sight of Frank and mummy Dr. F doing the knee test is worth the price of admission.
• Callback: “Petey Plane!” (Skydivers) “This nose wheel feels mushy,” (San Francisco International), the “Starfighters” music, “I’m dyin’ in a rush!” (Kitten with a Whip). Also, Crow’s: “Hey Posture Pals was the definitive last word on posture!” and “The master says you can’t stay here.” (Manos)
• “I’m a dreamer, Montreal” is a line from the Marx Brothers’ “Animal Crackers.”
• I’m pretty sure that’s Trace as the voice of Jimmy Carter on the phone. I think that’s a guest appearance I may have missed previously.
• Mike again displays his unexplained and preternatural ability to just become somebody, in this case Carol Channing.
• Mike does the knee test in the theater. It doesn’t seem to help.
• I was humming the “happy upbeat song” for days after I first saw this.
• Nice Harpo gookie by Frank at the end.
• Cast and crew round up: Also working on “The Hellcats:” producer Anthony Cardoza. In front of the camera: Tom Hanson, Nick Raymond and Frederic Downs. Also working on “The Skydivers:” producer Anthony Cardoza (also actor), director/screenplay writer Coleman Francis (also actor), score composer John Bath. In front of the camera: Frederic Downs. Also working on “The Beast of Yucca Flats:” producer Anthony Cardoza (also actor), director/screenplay writer Coleman Francis (also actor). In front of the camera: John Morrison and George Prince. Coleman also appears briefly as a delivery man in “This Island Earth.” Nick Raymond also appeared in “The Sinister Urge.” Frederic Downs also appeared in “Terror from the Year 5000.” John Carradine also appeared in “The Unearthly.”
• CreditsWatch: Frank gets a new credit this week and for the rest of the season: script consultant. Host segments directed by Trace Beaulieu. The music for the “The Bouncy Upbeat Song” was written by Mike. Frank wrote the lyics.
• Fave riff from the short: “Make sure your part is gouged into your skull.” Honorable mention: “Now you’re ready to rub out Sonny Corleone.”
• Fave riff from the movie: “Ho, guys. Step back and think. Are we all gonna fit in here?” Honorable mention: “Why is Phil Silvers rounding up corpses?
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No, he isn’t. Not while Michael Bay’s alive, anyway.
The only director of the *1960s* who could do that, perhaps…if Doris Wishman had stuck to just booking films instead of making them.
And whatever anyone has deduced about H.G. Lewis just from his participation in “Monster A-Go-Go”…oh, there’s so, so much more.
I might well be able to literally go on like this all day but I’ll do everyone a favor (including myself) and not even try do that instead. :-)
Thank you. :-)
I probably didn’t get the opening format quite right either but hey, even the Brains mess up on that kind of thing every now and then.
Darn, I knew I shoulda fact checked before I typed. The wages of laziness.
Not to say RZC isn’t in the running for worst movie ever made, but ‘Rollergator’ is my new gold standard. Unless we’re just saying that’s so bad that it doesn’t even count as a movie?
Man, what a dreary, depressing movie, The short on the other hand is good clean fun from Kansas. Now, RZC is, as anyone who has seen it knows, is a dark and depressing thing, Griffin is one of the nastiest characters in MSTiedom. I never understood why Cook and Landis went along with Griffin, the cop was close but and presumably armed. Even if Griffin attacked either of them the the officer would be able to stop him fairly quickly. But then we wouldn’t have this movie. Anyways, the fact that the military was relying on men they admit are probably at the least broke and perhaps fugitives does not speak well of their planning. On the other hand,the fact that our three main characters are conned by Cherokee Jack doesn’t exactly speak well of their intelligence, either. I don’t understand why, the guard keeps coming back to the cell when the guys call for water. It’s almost like all the characters in the film are second(or third)-string at their occupation. When our fugitives get back to the States, they pointlessly rob a cafe, kill the owner, Griffin rapes the daughter, and the guys make their way to Chastain’s wife’s house, and go on search of tungsten. Soon after going out in search of tungsten, Griffin is killer and Cook and Landis are captured. Depressing as hell. I do agree though, that Night Train to Munson Fine is a pretty good song.
Favorite Riffs:
Platform Posture and Appearance-
“Just do what he says.” – Mike
“Women be different than men.” “Word.” Servo/Crow
“Now you’re ready to rub out Sonny Corleone.”-Servo
“Now you’re a can opener, shiny and taciturn. ” Servo
“Make sure your part is gauged into your skull. ” Crow
Red Zone Cuba
“Uh, no, no, cut, do it again” Servo
“The close-ups really save on sets.” Mike
“Kid looks like a reporter for the Catholic Digest.” Servo
“John makes Keith Richards look dewy.” Crow
“Your everyday annoyances should not be filmed.” Mike
“I’ll keep walking and eventually they’ll stop filming.” Mike
“Maybe twenty-five minutes of training wasn’t enough.”Crow
” There will be a five our delay with our movie . We’ll have the mechanics take a look at it, and meanwhile we’ll have to ask you to board another movie.” -Crow
“Chinese fire drill.” Mike
“I’m just glad Coleman’s not wearing a skirt.”-Crow
“Thanks guys the backwash really helps.” Mike
” And that’s why we have a picture if Gene Pitney on the mantle.” -Mike