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Episode guide: 703- Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell

Movie: (1988) In medieval times, a smirky hero goes on quest for some magical stones and battles an evil sorcerer.

First shown: 2/17/96
Opening: Crow has new hair–and calf and hinder implants
Intro: Pearl is sick, and M&tB’s fast food restaurant just makes things worse for Dr. F
Host segment 1: The bots put on a Ren Fest for Mike
Host segment 2: Mike just can’t get enough of the Ren Fest
Host segment 3: Crow reads a trashy romance novel to a medicated Pearl
End: Mike reads a letter while Servo forges the One Ring; meanwhile Dr. F. goes Hitchcocky
Stinger: “Potatoes are what we eat!”
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (187 votes, average: 4.59 out of 5)

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• You can read Kevin’s comments on this episode here.
References.
• This episode is available on Shout’s “Volume XXXV.”
• After two good-but-not-great installments, the season really picks up steam with this one. I love it! Zany movie, great riffing, funny segments, just lots of fun.
• Kevin has a few thoughts about Pearl’s endless cries of “Clayton!” I loved it. Great work by Mary Jo. Great work by Trace. Hilarious bit, but even funnier by the intrusion of M&tB doing an elaborate fast food bit that drives Dr. F to the brink.
• Note that Crow and Tom’s name tags say “Mary Jo” and “Paul.”
• Crow and Tom wear the goofy hats into the theater, but Mike soon removes them.
• “Aw, this is a sequel to somethin’!” cries Crow in dismay. Indeed it is. It is a sequel to “Deathstalker” (1983) and “Deathstalker II: Duel of the Titans” (1987). But wait! There’s more! It is also a prequel to Deathstalker IV: Match of the Titans (1990). Sheesh.
• M&tB take on Ren Fests once again (previously pummeled in episode 303- POD PEOPLE and also given the razz by Frank in an invention exchange in episode 402- THE GIANT GILA MONSTER, with his renaissance festival punching bags). But here they devote two entire segments to it.
• Then-current reference: Douglas Brackman, a character from the TV series “L.A. Law” played by Alan Rachins.
• The bots mention Edgar Bronfman a guy who was looming large in BBI’s life at the time: he was at the heart of a series of big media deals that were causing various companies that were paying BBI to repeatedly change hands, causing them to have a constantly changing series of corporate overlords.
• The line “I dreamed a gold man was reading to me from a dirty book” will live forever in the hearts of MSTies.
• When, toward the end of the movie, they yell “Sampo! Sampo!” I assume they are talking about me. You are invited to think so, too.
• I hadn’t noticed before that this episode has an instance of “I thought you were Dale.”
• Callback: “Mr B…Natural!”
• Being a LOTR buff makes this episode extra fun (and remember that this was still years before the popular movies came out, and LOTR was still the province of uber-nerds). We hear Tolkien proper nouns like Saruman, Gandalf, Radagast, Khazad-dum and Nazgul. There’s even a segment in which Tom tries to forge The One Ring (and apparently succeeds – good for him!). I know that Paul was a LOTR fan (when Erhardt and I visited BBI just before the beginning of season eight the topic somehow came around to Tolkien and he admitted to being a fan and even used the phrase “ash nazg gimbatul,” which caused much derisive snickering among his cohorts).
• The final bit with the glass of milk is a reference to Hitchcock movie “Suspicion.”
• The cast and crew round-up has only one entry this week: Miguel Angel Fuentes is also in “The Pumaman.”
• CreditsWatch: Host segments directed by Trace Beaulieu. She was credited as a “prop assistant” in episode 701 (both versions) but then was not in the credits for 702. But in this one, Beth “Beez” McKeever returns as “Prop assistant/Buyer.” Ben Mooers begins a four-episode stint as an intern, apparently replacing Beez.
• Fave riff: “Guess what I’ve been doing!” Honorable mention: “I put the .. beats … in my own … script and I’m sticking … with them!” and “That was the name of the last guy!”

161 Replies to “Episode guide: 703- Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell”

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  1. robot rump! says:

    Creeping-Death #96
    re: post #99
    what he said.

    and as over the top as Troxartis is as a villian, i still say Rat Fink wins the scenery chewing villian award. Pitch being a very close second.

       2 likes

  2. Sitting Duck says:

    Dan in WI #92: This Deathstalker franchise was recently mentioned in an unlikely place. I was listening to the Comic Geek Speak spin-off podcast Comics With and Without Pulp. The subject was Conan the Barbarian and the Deathstalker franchise was mentioned as a cheap imitation.

    This would make a great weekend discussion topic. I believe I can top you. In The X Button (an on-line column about Japanese video games) the writer is talking about this special edition release of a game which comes with a tea cup. He then remarks that perhaps tea is to the game in question what coffee is to a Coleman Francis film.

    When Rifftrax did their Jack the Giant Killer Live Show, I was expecting the RenFest riffs to come in hard and fast. Yet there were none to be had (well there’s one that might be a RenFest riff, but it’s pretty subtle if it is). Perhaps Kevin’s antipathy has simmered down.

       3 likes

  3. schippers says:

    They’re like warriors…FROM HELL.

    What a great episode, mostly because wow, what an utter mess of a movie. It just really has no idea where it’s going or what it’s doing. And oh boy, Thom Christopher. It’s such a delight when a bad movie serves you up a big, steaming plate of ham. Every scene he’s in is golden.

    I didn’t mention last time, but you can see Mr. Relson (Nelson), our Deathstalker here, acquitting himself much better as an actor as the heroic deputy in the slightly overrated Killer Klowns from Outer Space.

       1 likes

  4. Dan in WI says:

    Sitting Duck 102> I’m not surprised Jack the Giant Killer had no ren-fest riffs. That movie is more fantasy/sword and sandal as opposed to middle age/rennaisance.

       1 likes

  5. Cheapskate Crow says:

    I don’t remember liking season 7 but this was a decent episode despite me not caring for any of the host segments. The riffing was good throughout, and I give them bonus points for mentioning Radagast from LotR. I miss the days where as Sampo says LotR was the province of uber-nerds before Peter Jackson’s inaccurate and overlong movies made the LotR series popular.

    Like many here, I found Pearl extremely annoying in season 7 but liked her much better in the sci-fi episodes. As to the renfest host segments, there shouldn’t have been two and they went on too long. The same ideas making fun of renfests were done much better in earlier episodes like when Dr. F. and Frank were punching the renfest inflatable dummies.

       1 likes

  6. ToolAssist says:

    This is a very mediocre episode, mostly due to the fact that the movie is really dry. I don’t really enjoy season 7 that much, to be honest.

       0 likes

  7. “CLAYTON! CLAYTON! …. CLAYTON! CLAYTON!”

    DEATHSTALKER is a really great episode of MST3k, a sharp upswing from the previous two Season 7 entries. These 80s fantasy movies are some of my favorite types of bad movies (along with horror and post-apoclyptic movies) with their bad acting, cheap sets and costumes, wonky music, flaky accents, and their usually very 80s haircuts. DEATHSTALKER does not disappoint in any of those categories. Fun movie with some really great riffing, it’s a precursor to the greatness to come in the rest of Season 7.

    I’ve mentioned in other posts how Mike-era Host Segments are usually so-so. Well, this week we get some really good moments, from Crow’s hair piece in the opening (delightfully absurd!) to the book reading with Pearl in HS#3 (the line “yielding petals of womanhood” might just be the naughtiest thing they’ve ever said on the show :blush: ). Speaking of Pearl, I don’t find her insistent calling of “CLAYTON!” to be all that annoying. I know I’m in the minority on that, but it actually works for me, and Dr. F’s reaction to all of it is pretty good. In the opening, Dr. F gets flustered with Mike and the Bots and their drive-thru window: “I don’t want the meatza-treatza-ratti!”

    The Renaissance Fair skit in HS#1 isn’t that good, and HS#2 has diminished returns on the continued joke, although I like the line “let’s go pet the dead camel!” They did much better ribbing of Renaissance Fairs back in POD PEOPLE and in the classic Invention Exchange in THE GIANT GILA MONSTER.

    **I was going to ask what very recognizable music was playing on Pearl’s TV during HS#3, but somebody in the comments above identified it as the theme from THE DAYS OF OUR YEARS short. THANKS!


    RIFFS:

    Crow: “Yes, it’s renassaince fairs of the ooooooold west.”

    Mike: “So Michael McDonald is fighting the guy from Loverboy?”

    Mike: “They missed the haircuts by about 1200 years.”

    Crow: “Looks like his rubber band snapped!”

    Servo: “Oh sorry, I thought you were Dale..”

    Crow: “Mike, were there crackers in the Middle Ages?
    Mike: “Apparently….”

    Mike: “Squeak. Squeak. Squeak.”

    Crow: “It’s hard to look menacing when you’re dressed like Maude.”

    Servo: “Go ahead, enjoy my area.”

    Crow: “Hey dude, get some towels and put ’em under the door! The RA’s coming!”

    Crow: “Steve’s wearing his hoooood!” —–the way Crow sings this kills me! It’s also so random!!

    Mike: “My weird hairless chest!”

    Servo: “Guess what I’ve been doing!” ——– :-D :laugh: :rotfl:

    Crow: “I’m glad he gets hit a lot.”

    Mike: “Patchouli oil will get rid of the pot smell.”

    Mike: “I’ll never eat home fries again!”

    Mike: “Music by a total spazz!”

    MST3k 80s fantasy movies:
    CAVE DWELLERS > DEATHSTALKER > OUTLAW > QUEST OF DELTA KNIGHTS* (*: actually a 90s movie, but who can tell the difference?)


    “CLAYTON!”
    “CLAYTON!”

    4 out of 5 HUZZAHS!

       4 likes

  8. Fred Burroughs says:

    This is an also-ran for me, mostly because DS is such an insufferable DB, it makes it hard to watch. I love potato girl and Hawk/Maude and even Natron Means princess; but there is (as mentioned previously) an element of “they just didn’t care” that permeates this movie. I’m glad I read the thread, though, I think I’ve missed about half of the riffs. I’ll have to go back and watch again.

       1 likes

  9. Bill Haverchuck says:

    I love this episode so much that I decided to seek out some of the other Deathstalker movies on Cinemageddon a while back. Bad idea… they all have a very icky “sexual predator” vibe to them that makes them more off-putting than fun. I can understand why CT or Rifftrax have never bothered to riff any of the other films in the series – Deathstalker 3 is easily the least unpleasant. Still, this episode is a total gas (the “Clayton! Clayton!” stuff DOES get old fast, but the solid SOL segments more than make up for it).

       3 likes

  10. senorpogo says:

    Just watched this last night for the umpteenth time. I once disliked this episode, but have finally come around on it. I particularly like the running jokes that paint Truck’s Artist as a henpecked suburbanite. Multiple viewings also really allow you to appreciate the disappearing-reappearing accent employed by Mr. Relson.

       3 likes

  11. Depressing Aunt says:

    Strangely, I find this one of the most annoying movies they featured on the show. The totally stupid soundtrack and sound effects bring it down even more. But I do enjoy Thom Christopher and the tater tart (perfect name!). An all-potato diet must be great for your hair and teeth, if mom and daughter are anything to go by. Why shouldn’t a villian be 5’8″ and bald, by the way, think of all the short and-or bald actors who have made for great villians.

    The only real problem I have with Ren Fests, after being at one a couple months ago? Pointlessly expensive, they sure got that right in the host segments. Every attraction or item of food…argh, they might as well charge for the air you breathe there while they’re at it. Love Pearl and Art with the dirty book!

    Does this make any sense at all: “I’m under a spell. I can no more talk about the third stone than I can bite my own teeth.” I can’t seem to wrap my head around it….

       0 likes

  12. pondoscp says:

    This is probably the funkiest episode of season 7. I remember actually renting this movie when it came out! Years later, as I reconnected with MST3K, I discovered they did this movie. My first thought was, oh please let there be some good potato jokes. I was not disappointed.
    This movie is a bit rough, but the episode does grow on me more each time I watch it.

       0 likes

  13. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    For a little context, it should be remembered that the 1980s were THE era for barbarian/sword-and-sorcery movies. So if you look at the film as but a single fragment of a larger international whole, it…really doesn’t make a darned bit of difference, does it?

    So, Deathstalker or Ator, which one would YOU rather have riding to your rescue?

    Isn’t it conveeeeenient that the one Warrior from Hell who wasn’t killed by Troxartes just happened to have been killed by Deathstalker instead? What are the odds, huh?

    Was the part about the potatoes supposed to…MEAN something? I started to say “Maybe you have to be Argentinian,” but it’s the first two Deathstalker movies that were made in Argentina, not this one.

    Oh, in case anyone didn’t catch it, Deathstalker WAS in fact trying to steal their horse. Our hero, a thief and a liar…
    ;-)

    ===

    #25: You’ve gotta love the 80?s take on the Middle Ages; between this one and Outlaw it’s amazing to consider how much hairspray was available in the feudal system.

    No offense, but that’s the sort of thing I don’t get why anybody cares about or even notices in a movie. Would an accurate depiction of Middle Ages hygiene really have been an improvement? History was a PIG STY…and YOU know it. ;-)

    Regarding #73: In Deathstalker (the First), Deathstalker rescues a woman from a rapist…and then prepares to rape her himself. So, remember, it could’ve been MUCH worse.

    (Really, Argentina? THAT’S what you want to tell us about yourself? Assignment: Venezuela is so gonna kick your…)

    ===

    Although there isn’t much comment on the protagonist’s “name,” the basic point it’s trying to make seems obvious:

    “Beware, warrior! Death stalks you this night!”
    “Death doesn’t stalk me. *I* stalk DEATH…”
    OSLT

    It’s mildly interesting how the movie takes it for granted that Deathstalker is, within his era/world, this really significant wandering warrior-type (“It seems we have a legend to catch!”), you know, the guy who rides into town just when whatever the problem was is really starting to heat up, fixes things, and moves on, the guy who makes history everywhere he goes — like Conan or Hercules or, well, Maciste, I guess (there are way more examples but none are occurring to at this precise exact moment) — yet Deathstalker himself doesn’t…QUITE come across like that, does he?

       4 likes

  14. The accents last about one scene. The plot is random and pointless. The villain is less frightening than a plush toy. The hero has the charisma of a smarmy waiter.

    All reasons why I LOVE watching M&TB eviscerate this tacky, ill-conceived pimple of a film.

    MST3K’s slogan should have been, “Bad movies are what we eat!”

       3 likes

  15. Kali says:

    “Clayton, Clayton, Clayton!” Shut up, ma!

    My problem with Pearl is the fact that they never really developed a character for her. She’s the overbearing Jewish mom (701T), then crying Lucy Ricardo (here and in “Leave the Bronx”), then she’s the professional agent when she helps Crow sell his screenplay (in “Melting Man”). Then, in the Skiffy (sorry, SciFi) years, she’s the Lawgiver without any laws. I just never saw her as deliciously evil as Trace played Clay, so it totally breaks up the dynamic with Mike and the ‘bots.

    Because of this, it really took Cinematic Titanic for me to see Mary Jo apart from the Pearl “character.” Pearl is just too uneven for me to really get used to her — to the point where we’re just going, get to the movie already. Season 7, she’s just annoying throughout. Mary Jo does get more interesting during the SciFi years, but, really, I just wanted Clay back. That said, she’s fantastic in Cinematic Titanic (even if she frequently gets the typical girly lines). Her pre-planning in case Earth gets destroyed in “Doomsday Machine” is a classic moment (even if Frank tops her later ;-) ). I just never found anything that stood out when she played Pearl. Sorry about that…

       3 likes

  16. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    #111: Does this make any sense at all: “I’m under a spell. I can no more talk about the third stone than I can bite my own teeth.” I can’t seem to wrap my head around it….

    What’s to wrap? He’s saying that it’s impossible. Nobody can bite their own teeth because the very concept of “bite” means to chomp down on something between one’s upper AND lower teeth. It’s the sound of one hand clapping. On a purely practical level, you CAN’T clap with only one hand because the act of clapping requires TWO hands, bringing them together, and you can’t bring together just one thing that’s alone (deep? or not?). And, you know, STUFF.

    Well, if some of one’s teeth have been knocked out of one’s mouth, I guess you could pick those up, put them in your mouth, and bite down on THOSE. But repeat to yourself, “It’s just a metaphor, I should really just relax.” ;-)

       3 likes

  17. Droppo says:

    Dear God…..I’m truly stunned that anyone enjoys the “Claydin” bit as it’s possibly my least favorite moment in the history of the series.

    That said….I absolutely adore this episode. The riffing is great.

       3 likes

  18. pondoscp says:

    Oh, and yes, the Brains removed the “naughty” parts of this movie. Fruits you must never enjoy!

       0 likes

  19. JCC says:

    #91 – I’ve long since figured that those were mall stores, I believe. The shops were called “Nina B.” and “Hurrah Store”.

       2 likes

  20. Depressing Aunt says:

    #116. Okay, cool, thanks! (I now have a mental image of the wizard chomping on a few his own teeth, because our villain yanked them out.)

    Also, I’d choose Ator to save me. He’s not as smarmy and vain as Deathstalker. And he’s cuter.

       2 likes

  21. Tim S. Turner says:

    Off topic, I know, but check out these MST3K bobbleheads!! http://www.rowsdowr.com/2013/02/01/mst3k-bobble-heads-by-ralph-scudieri/

       1 likes

  22. pondoscp says:

    The awesome promo for this episode:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ef1pVLRKULY&list=SPEB4C85DE577A1FDC&index=55

    I’ll be tuning in Saturday at 5pm!

       5 likes

  23. Sitting Duck says:

    @ #104: Are you sure we’re talking about the same movie. I’m talking about Jack the Giant Killer, he kills giants! Set in Merry Old England about a thousand years ago. With a commoner who rescues a cute princess from an evil sorcerer and his cheap claymation minions. How is that not middle age/rennaisance? I certainly don’t see how you can say that it’s sword and sandal. Not only does no one wear sandals, but men aren’t wearing shorter skirts than the women.

       4 likes

  24. Dan in WI says:

    Duck #124: We are talking about the same movie. I was there for the Rifftrax live as well. It’s a fine line of distinction. Generally when you get into that fantasy relm of giants and magicians it becomes more of “a long time ago” without reference to a distinct time period. It is more generic. The fantasy becomes the story not the setting. The Deathstalker story is more dependant on the medival time period setting and is a lot less fantasical. Yes we have wizard but magic really isn’t the emphasis.

    Again it is a fine and often blurry line but as a very general rule the more fantasical the less ren-fest.

    Depressing Aunt #111> As an aside I was at C2E2 this past weekend in Chicago. There was an annual ren-fest based in Bristol WI that had a booth there selling “discounted” advance tickets. (The person I was with is into that kind of thing and bought some.) I found it quite hypocritical how they made a big production the in-character booth attendant made about the “exchange of this strange green paper for another multi-colored piece of paper.” (I think that translates in English to buying a ticket with money, but I’m not sure.) From where I’m sitting those ren-fests are all about money too. So they pretend not to know what money is as they gleefully rake it in.

       1 likes

  25. Of no account says:

    I absolutely love this episode. It’s in my top 10, if not top 5, and it is definitely the highlight of season 7 (which I greatly enjoy). It’s just so badly done, it’s brilliant. As someone who enjoys a good Renfest, I still found the Renfest jokes hilarious.
    Tom forging the One Ring, and Mike’s casual attitude towards it, always makes me laugh. apparently Mike is more uncorruptable than a Hobbit!
    I’ve had all the Deathstalker movies in my Netflix queue for years, but they still don’t have them available.

    I agree with Sitting Duck, Jack the Giant Killer was pure Renfest. The costumes & sets might as well have been from a Renfest. I was also surprised at the lack of Renfest riffs in it.
    On the subject of Renfests (and I’ve probably said this before), the Kansas City Renfest is fantastic.
    Every turkey leg I’ve eaten there (and there have been MANY) has been wholly uneaten before I receive it. And while there is much to spend money on, all the shows are free to watch (other than the cost of your ticket to get into the ‘fest to begin with). the joust is always fun (though it’s on horses, not ostriches, which may confuse some…). And one or two weekends a year they do the Scottish games.

       4 likes

  26. Gary Bowden says:

    One of my favorite episodes and prefer this one to “Quest of the Delta Knights”..this one is funnier,goofier and has funnier host segments.Please Shout! put this on a future box set,ok? I said please..lol.

       1 likes

  27. schippers says:

    #120 – As long as you don’t happen to be Ator’s sister, because then he would want to have sex with you.

    Since some people have referenced the great ’80s sword and sandal boom, let me put in a good word for one of Lucio Fulci’s lesser efforts, the blandly named Conquest. And even though this film was not an MST ep, there is a connection. I’ll get to it at the end, I promise!

    Anyway, Conquest is perhaps the weirdest S&S movie I can think of. If you dabble in this genre, you really must track down a copy of this movie at some point and give it a watch. You probably won’t expect the weird twist it throws at you, and I don’t want to spoil it.

    What’s the MST connection? One of our two heroes is played by Jorge Rivero – who was the poofy-haired “Russo-Mexican” (just Mexican, it turns out) baddie in the inimitable “Werewolf”!

    See, it’s sorta on topic!

       3 likes

  28. Tom Carberry says:

    I have not seen the un-MSTed version of this little treasure, but IMDB lists it as having an “R” rating. What exactly got it the “R” rating? Some nudity I assume.

       0 likes

  29. Depressing Aunt says:

    I’m sick of the whole sworded affair!

       5 likes

  30. MikeK says:

    Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell is my favorite episode from Season 7. Having now seen the first two Deathstalker movies, I can say with confidence that this movie’s Deathstalker is a total weenie. Thom Christopher, though, is great as Troxartis. I’ve never seen a man look so manly when wearing a fuscia turban.

    My favorite riff is, “Guess what I’ve been doing!?” It’s one of those naughty riffs that is helped by how dirty the viewer’s mind is. My favorite scene is with the wild potato ladies.

    @128. It’s probably nudity. I know that the first two Deathstalker movies have topless women.

    I wish Rifftrax would riff the movie Iron Warrior. It’s stars Miles O’Keefe and the electrician’s girlfriend from Devil Fish as a sorceress. The movie description calls O’Keefe’s character Ator, but it doesn’t appear to be connected to the previous Ator movies.

       2 likes

  31. pondoscp says:

    Yep, nude potatoes in the barn sequence removed. You’re welcome.

       4 likes

  32. Joseph Nebus says:

    So, is everyone else all right that potatoes are a New World crop and this is set in Vaguely Old Europe I Guess? Potatoes are what we gain through the Columbian Exchange!

       5 likes

  33. MikeK says:

    It’s a magical fantasy land, not Europe. The Elder Scrolls games have potatoes as well.

       1 likes

  34. Goshzilla says:

    Yeah, it’s the potatoes plot hole that ruins the movie for me. ;-) Anyway, if it’s Europe, why does everybody have an American accent? “Were there Crackers in the middle ages?”

       5 likes

  35. Goshzilla says:

    @ pondoscp: Nude potatoes?! Samwise just had a heart attack.

    (i306.photobucket.com/albums/nn268/bluedevilbamf/PoTaToes.gif)

       0 likes

  36. MikeK says:

    To answer Crow’s question, who do you think Crackers are descended from?

       0 likes

  37. @ no.38:

    William Katt? Hell, the friggin’ Puma Man could kick Deathstalker’s butt with one hand tied behind his back.

       1 likes

  38. At the time I first saw this telecast, I was really standoffish about ’80s movies on MST3K as it seemed too soon for those movies to properly age, like really good cheese. Even inasmuch as Warrior Of The Lost World was an instant favorite, I was still worried going into this one for the first time. My worries were quicky dispelled as I watched a couple of clowns who looked like Mike McDonald and the singer from Loverboy, with anachronistic ’80s haircuts, delivering their lines in the weakest, rottenest imitation English accents ever while pretending to fight with pugil sticks on a big log.

    Right in that instant, I immediately hated Deathstalker, but not nearly as much as that selfish, simpering princess who looked as if she were snatched out of a shopping mall by the casting director. Right in that instant, I knew I was going to be in for nuthin’ but fun.

    As far as the number of episodes, yeah, Season 7 is a bit disappointing, kind of like going to a party and discovering only one six-pack of Dogfish Head 90-Minute IPA in the fridge. And, yeah, I can see where it was a bit disappointing to see poor old Dr. F struggling along without Frank while being bullied and dominated by his psychotic mother. As much as I missed Frank, I was actually delighted to see Pearl emerge and evolve as a character in the later seasons.

    On the upside, though, at least four Season 7 episodes are among my instant favorites: Night Of The Blood Beast (starring the Power Steves), The Brute Man (coupled with Chicken Of Tomorrow, one of my all-time favorite shorts,), Escape 2000 (Servo’s ’80s power-ballad belting over the closing credits is classic), and Deathstalker And The Warriors From Hell.

    Between Deathstalker, Warrior Of The Lost World and Space Mutiny, I quickly got over my fear of ’80s movies on MST3K. Those episodes are especially easy to enjoy now that the movies they’re riffing are all approaching 30 years old.

    (In a screeching, whiny Chris Crocker voice): LEAVE SEASON SEVEN ALOONNNEEEE!!!

       3 likes

  39. But, to drag this back on-topic…

    Yeah, there’s so much to love/hate about this movie: the cheesy fake medieval music, the bad fake English accents, the anachronistic hairstyles, the wretched sound effects — I loved Nelson’s characterization of the dubbed eagle screech, “…like he’s wearing a lav and running it through a grunge box before it goes to the preamp…” Pure gold, this one. One of my personal all-timers.

       3 likes

  40. schippers says:

    #130 – Without doing a lick of confirmatory research, I think that’s the lone Ator movie that wasn’t made by Joe D’Amato (the third one, I think). Ol’ Joe hated it so much (apparently) that he denied its existence when he made the fourth Ator movie, the one that doesn’t star Miles O’Keefe.

    I would like to send a time travel message back to the early 1990s begging Joel & Co. to riff the first Ator movie. They wouldn’t have to cut a minute, as it’s one of D’Amato’s rare non-skeezy flicks, and it’s really a laugh riot. Perhaps not quite as inept as the 2nd movie, but the first one has its undeniable charms.

       0 likes

  41. Craig W. says:

    Isn’t there another callblack with “Pitchblende! Bauxite!” (Red Zone Cuba)?

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  42. Ian L. says:

    In the ACEG season 7 addition, Kevin Murphy mentions that the sketches weren’t for show; he really DOES hate Ren Fest and says “Too harsh? You go to a Renaissance festival and get back to me.” Well, late last summer I finally went to Ren Fest and… yeah, he’s right. For me, it was a thoroughly unpleasant experience, and it started as soon as I got there, when the parking guys barked commands about where we’re supposed to park. Then when I got inside, the ground was muddy, it was crowded, it was hard to find your way around (which is a problem when you want to leave and can’t figure out where the exit is), and most of what I saw was novelty shops selling wares I didn’t care about, carnival games, and live theater comedy sketches that I didn’t find funny. That, and I’ve always been a little weirded out by people talking to you in character, which is of course what Ren Fest is all about. I won’t be going back.

    Anyway, this episode has grown on me, although I still prefer season 9’s “Quest of the Delta Knights”.

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  43. Sitting Duck says:

    Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell fails the Bechdel Test. None of the female characters converse with each other.

    So did the production team give any thought about how silly the wizard spinning in place looked?

    Rather surprising they didn’t use any naughty riffs when Troxartas said, “I can feel its power growing.” especially since we appear to have come in post-coitus.

    The way Camisarde got off scot-free brings to mind the Doctor Who serial State of Decay and the lame excuse Adric gives for his behavior at the conclusion. While I think that the hate directed towards Adric by the fanbase is mostly undeserved, it certainly wasn’t his finest moment.

    So who voiced the Balrog in the final host segment?

    @ #7: I’m pretty much the opposite. I enjoyed the movie riffing, but found the host segments to be mostly a loss.

    @ #81: IMO Quest of the Delta Knights was far worse with the anachronisms than this film.

    Dan in WI #92: But I must say Mike’s fast food manager is remarkably similar to his Urkel.

    I thought he sounded more like his impression of Torgo.

    @ #105: Regarding Jackson’s LotR adaptation, being slavishly faithful to the source material can be disastrous in its own right. Just watch the BBC adaptation of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe from the Eighties.

    Favorite riffs

    A heavy font like this needs to double brace the H.

    It’s Renaissance Festivals of the Old West.

    Let’s go to Ye Beer Tent.

    Will the people from Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman please clear the set?

    Are you going to kill me again, sir?

    “Stay away from me!”
    But I’m a hero!

    I haven’t got any syphilis that I know of.

    If I knew your name or anything about you, this would be very sad.

    Put your dwarf on oscillating.

    “A purse of gold to the man who finds him!”
    I’ll just take the gold, sir. I don’t really need a purse.

    Excuse me, I’ve got to get to my Ladyhawk audition.

    Hard to look menacing when you’re dressed like Maude.

    “The world is almost within my grasp.”
    Or at least Quad Cities.

    I think she just got edited to the ground.

    Somebody TPed your ghost.

    “Even if he is, that’s not the way love’s suppose to happen.”
    It should be secret and shameful and leathery and dirty.

    “I knew a man like you once. He was wonderfully handsome and strong and brave.”
    Wait, he wasn’t like you at all.

    I should be playing canasta with Saruman.

    The chilling sound of cardboard against cardboard.

    Are you fighting Liberace?

    Fight choreography by Moe Howard.

    Hair Club for Men: The Final Conflict.

    Wrapped in foil, she was buried in coals on the beach.

    They need a smug bastard in the next village.

    The girl didn’t roast all the way. What should we do with her?

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  44. Gobi says:

    schippers:
    #130 – Without doing a lick of confirmatory research, I think that’s the lone Ator movie that wasn’t made by Joe D’Amato (the third one, I think). Ol’ Joe hated it so much (apparently) that he denied its existence when he made the fourth Ator movie, the one that doesn’t star Miles O’Keefe.

    I would like to send a time travel message back to the early 1990s begging Joel & Co. to riff the first Ator movie. They wouldn’t have to cut a minute, as it’s one of D’Amato’s rare non-skeezy flicks, and it’s really a laugh riot. Perhaps not quite as inept as the 2nd movie, but the first one has its undeniable charms.

    Rifftrax has heard your wish.

       4 likes

  45. Lisa H. says:

    Depressing Aunt: I’m sick of the whole sworded affair!

    Isn’t that from “The Magic Sword”? Or did they reuse it in this one? (I think I’ve seen Deathstalker like once; I guess since I have Volume 35 that I must now have a DVD of it, but I think I didn’t used to.)

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  46. bartcow says:

    Put me in the camp that also enjoys Mary Jo’s constant cries of “CLAYTON”. I probably mentioned this elsewhere recently, but I found it irritating the first time I saw the episode, but as my comedy tastes evolved, I developed a soft spot for deliberately needling, repetitive humor (I became a dad in the interim, so that may have something to do with it–it’s amazing how easy the dad jokes flow without even trying). And the 80s sword-and-sorcery flicks just might be my favorite category of movie they did. So ripe for the pickin’s.

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  47. Johnny's nonchalance says:

    You think Trumpy would like to hang out with the tater hag?

    Po-ta-toes is what he eats!

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  48. thequietman says:

    His area mocks us!

    What else is there left to say about this one? Everything works, and everyone’s funny. Yes, even Pearl and Dr. F, because who can’t empathize/sympathize with someone who gets roped into taking care of someone who’s absolutely insufferable when they’re sick? And for all the ‘nerdy’ RenFest and LOTR riffs, as a classic movie buff I really loved the Hitchcock homage in the final segment.

    Fave riffs
    I just can’t buy an arch nemesis who’s 5′ 8″ and balding.

    We’ve seen inside his mouth, in his pits, up his nose, what’s left?!

    Okay, now I’m going to read every ‘Crankshaft’ ever published!

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  49. Majicou says:

    I think I’ve only seen this episode once, but every time I’m in the produce section buying potatoes, I think “Potatoes are what we eat!”

       2 likes

  50. jjk50 says:

    I hated most 80’s movies in the 80’s and I still do.

       1 likes

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