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Sampo & Erhardt

Sci-Fi Archives

Visit our archives of the MST3K pages previously hosted by the Sci-Fi Channel's SCIFI.COM.

Goodbye Sci-Fi

Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett reflect on MST3K's final broadcast.

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Episode Guide: 406- Attack of the Giant Leeches (with short: ‘Undersea Kingdom’–Episode 1)

Short: (1936) In part one (“Beneath the Ocean Floor”) of a serial, a submarine expedition to Atlantis discovers a hostile kingdom.
Movie: (1959) Folks begin vanishing near a Florida swamp, and a game warden discovers the culprits are mutant leeches.

First shown: 7/18/92
Opening: Joel manages to shut off the holo-clowns
Invention exchange: The Mads introduce Patches the leech, while J&tB present the insty-adolescence kit
Host segment 1: J&tB discuss taking over the world and what you’d wear to do it
Host segment 2: J&tB chat about dreams over coffee
Host segment 3: J&tB sing: “Danger to Myself And Others”
End: J&tB try to understanding the leeches, Joel reads a letter; meanwhile in Deep 13, Patches has been on Frank too long
Stinger: Billy gets into it.
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (230 votes, average: 4.38 out of 5)


• Plenty of fun here, in an episode that is deservedly a fan favorite. Most of the host segments are great and the riffing is terrific. A great all-around episode.
• This episode was included in Rhino’s “The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection, Vol. 6.”
• Part two of the holo-clowns bit is classic MST3K: “Get on your orange and yellow knees and kiss my clown feet that I haven’t killed you!!!” That bit may be a true litmus test of MSTiedom. If you don’t think it’s hilarious, you really shouldn’t bother with this show.
• Joel says he started up the holoclowns “about three weeks ago.” Actually it was two weeks since the previous episode aired.
• Dr. F is reading “Putting the One-Minute Manager to Work” (the edition he’s reading is now out of print but a new edition was published in 2006 ) while Frank is reading “Working with Difficult People.” Again, that edition is rare since an updated edition came out in 2002.
• That’s Kevin, of course, as the giant leech. That bit gave us another great moment in the poopie tape: “Is it my sucking you?” By the way, doctors have in fact found useful medical applications for leeches.
• Yay! The first short of season 4 and the first in 10 episodes. By the way, “Undersea Kingdom,” made in 1936, is the oldest thing (movie or short) MST3K ever riffed on.
• Joel feels “blindsided” because the Mads fail to mention the short before “movie sign.”
• Then-still-somewhat-current reference: Mayor Dinkins. Remember him?
• Tom Servo attempts a complicated joke that sort of misfires and Joel responds: “That’s a Swiss army joke.”
• For the third episode running, the song “Hot Child in the City” is referenced.
• This movie has a pretty much classic Corman cast, including Bruno VeSota, Michael Emmet, Russ Sturlin and Gene Roth. Suprisingly, no Merritt Stone.
• Servo’s coffee head is a nice touch, and the best part is that nobody even really mentions it. It’s just kinda there and nobody thinks much of it.
• Joel pours some cream for Gypsy and she interrupts him to say “when” and that seems to amuse Joel.
• Movie comment: Our cuckolded store keeper Dave clearly has a double-barreled shotgun. Now I’m no firearms expert, but I believe such a weapon, assuming it is fully loaded, has the capability of firing (at the most) twice before the user has to reload, correct? And in fact, we do see Dave reload, placing a shell in each barrel. But that’s after we’ve heard him fire at least four shots. And after he reloads, he fires another four shots before backing Liz and her paramour into the lake. Now it’s possible he reloaded off-camera, but if I was Liz’s boyfriend, I wouldn’t shrink in fear of that obviously empty gun.
• Sexy Liz is played by Yvette Vickers, who met a very sad end.
• The exterior swamp shots were done at the Arboretum in Arcadia, Calif., where shots for TV’s “Fantasy Island” were done years later.
• Some of the cast were almost electrocuted on thee set when a water tank full of actors collapsed.
• Joel quietly hums a line of the upcoming song in the theater.
• Lots of characters are humming internal songs in this episode. I remember this being one of my favorite kinds of riff for a while.
• “A Danger to Mahself and Others” is one of the truly great MST3K original songs. Joel and Mike share the writing credit, by the way. My only complaint is that they taped a pipe to Tom’s lower lip and we can hear it bonking loudly against his torso during the song. Very distracting.
• Tom Servo’s head practically FLIES off as they leave the theater for the last time. They cover beautifully.
• Cast and crew roundup (it’s Corman, so strap in): Gene Corman, Roger’s brother, produced both MSTed films which Bernard L. Kowalski directed: “Attack of the Giant Leeches and “Night of the Blood Beast.” Scriptwriter Leo Gordon appears as an actor in “Kitten With A Whip.” Cinematographer John Nicholaus also worked on “High School Big Shot” and “Night of the Blood Beast.” Editor Carlo Lodato also worked on “High School Big Shot.” Costumer Ross Sturlin (who also acts here) also worked on “Teenage Caveman” and “Night of the Blood Beast.” Costumer Ed Nelson also worked on “Superdome” and “Riding with Death.” Production manager Jack Bohrer worked on “Night of the Blood Beast” and was assistant director on “Teenage Caveman” and “Viking Women.” Art director Dan Haller also worked on “Night of the Blood Beast” and “The Girl in Lovers Lane.” Prop man Richard Rubin also worked on “Bloodlust.” Sound guy Al Overton worked on “Earth Vs. the Spider,” “The Phantom Planet” and “The Screaming Skull.” Score composer Alexander Laszlo also worked on “Night of the Blood Beast,” “Manhunt in Space” and “Crash of Moons.”
In front of the camera, Ken Clark also appears in “12 to the Moon.” Michael Emmet also appears in “Night of the Blood Beast” and “Untamed Youth.” Bruno VeSota also appears in “Gunslinger,” “Daddy-O,” “The Wild, Wild World of Batwoman” and “The Undead.” Gene Roth also appears in “Earth Vs. the Spider,” “Tormented” and “The Rebel Set.” Tyler McVey also appears in “Night of the Blood Beast.” George “doughy guy” Cisar also appears in “Teen-Age Crime Wave.” Ross Sturlin also appears in “Teenage Caveman,” “Viking Women” and “Night of the Blood Beast.” Joseph Hamilton also appears in “Teenage Caveman.”
• CreditsWatch: Host segments directed by Jim Mallon. Dr. F’s last name is still spelled “Forrestor.”
• Fave riff from the short: “This looks like a fine place to set down my pasty white bottom.” Honorable mention: “How come they all turned when he said ‘Dad’?”
• Fave riff: “…or someone might stab you in your sleep…” Honorable mention: “Looks like the cave of Dr. Calamari.”

114 Replies to “Episode Guide: 406- Attack of the Giant Leeches (with short: ‘Undersea Kingdom’–Episode 1)”

  1. Skiptastic says:

    Wow, this one is a fan favorite? Really? Never really thought there was anything special about this one…I’ll have to go back and relook at it.


  2. WHO IS MERRITT STONE?!?!? :shock:


  3. Brandon says:

    Another Corman regular who is absent from this film is Dick Miller. Actually, considering the amount of films Miller has been in, I’ve always been amazed that he was only in three MST’ed movies.

    If you don’t know who Dick Miller is, he’s probably better known as Mr. Futterman from the Gremlins movies.


  4. RCFagnan says:

    Wow, does that sheriff look like Gary Busey. Wonder if they’re related… Favorite Riff: “…second husband was a no good bum, third husband was a no good bum…”


  5. MattG says:

    No matter how many times I hear it I still crack up at the “How dumb are you, Uncle Dad?” line of the song, particuarly Joel’s goofy facial expression when he asks the question.

    How dumb are you, Uncle Dad?
    Pretty dumb, that’s fer shure!
    How dumb are you, Uncle Dad?
    Well, this pipe’s filled with manure!


  6. Nick says:

    Yeah, I can’t believe Dick Miller isn’t in this either. Maybe it’s because this is a Corman-produced and not a Corman-directed flick…just a thought. :smile:


  7. Bob says:

    This one is not on my favorites list, but I definitely enjoy it. The film, Giant Leeches, used to be on UHF channels all the time when I was a kid just like many other films done on the show, like Amazing Colossal Man, Gila Monster, Beginning of the End, and others. As for all these films, I must have seen Leeches a million times when young, then not at all for many years till it was done on MST3K. It was a rude shock seeing just how bad and funny many of these movies really were.


  8. “I learned plenty! I got a PhD in Staying Away from Your Wife!”


  9. “Hey Dave, ya ever feel like you’re in a Gary Larson Cartoon?”


  10. Bobo "BuckDat" Briggs says:

    This will always be a fav of mine partly because of the NPR segment that was done on MST3K at the time. Our first glimpse into the writing room that didnt leave a bad taste in the mouth. (This is MST3K) I always think of Mary Jo during the “Hee-Haw writing session” part. A very memorable episode and an instant classic the week it came out. Tell little Jerry Lee to hold it down in there!


  11. Travis says:

    Great episode, one of my personal favorites. The holo-clowns, coffee-segment, Danger to Myself and Others… classic MST3k! :mrgreen:


  12. Ang says:

    It’s not Gary Busey they say the sherriff looks like, it’s Gary Cooper. I shuddered a little bit when I read that b/c Coop was gorgeous and very talented. Can’t say the same for Busey (at least not about the looks anyway :razz: ). The guy in the movie doesn’t really look like him but he’s a sherriff in western wear and Gary did a lot of westerns, most notably High Noon.

    He’s my favorite actor so I have a soft spot in my heart for this movie since they mentioned him.


  13. Joseph Nebus says:

    According to Tales To Astonish: Jack Kirby, Stan Lee, and the American Comic Book Revolution, by Ronin Ro, the commercial success of the Undersea Kingdom serial for Republic Pictures inspired Columbia to start work on a Technicolor serial, The Lost Atlantis.

    Planning and budgeting for the serial never quite got worked out, however, with not much result other than comic book artist Bill Everett having the material for a tie-in merchandising spin-off comic.

    With nothing to spin off from, however, Everett went ahead and did the comic, turning the results into Namor, the Sub-Mariner.


  14. R.A. Roth says:

    “…it’s getting hard to sleep and I’m tasting metal.”

    The BEST line ever delivered by Joel. The Holo-Clown skit is may be the best in the run.

    Mike, as a clown, says something like “Hey, little girl, you wanna try my chocolate salty balls?” or am I confusing that with an episode of “South Park”?



  15. R.A. Roth says:

    No, wait, it’s salty nut roll!

    The things cluttering up my brain!



  16. fireballil says:

    This is another great episode, 5 stars for me.

    A couple of observations:
    I thought it was Joel who hummed ‘A Danger To Mahself And Others’ in the theater before the song, not Tom.

    Little Billy’s episode is my favorite stinger.

    In Host Segment 2, Crow brought out a sailor doll and called it ‘Little Billy.’ He kept holding it throughout the host segements for the rest of the episode, including after the explosion after ‘Danger to Mahself.’

    There are lots of other times where Tom has something in his dome and no one seems to notice, such as a half-eaten waffle in ‘Viking Women’ and a Christmas snow globe in both Christmas episodes.


  17. fireballil says:

    In the above post, I meant host segment one, I usually count the inventions exchanges as the first one, so I get a bit confused sometimes. :oops:


  18. Matty-O says:

    The holo-clowns have to be the best opening segment in MST3K history… at least for me it is. Especially after they get back from commercial-break and Mike in clown makeup delivers the line…

    “Get down and kiss my clown feet that I haven’t killed you yet!”

    Great stuff there. :lol:


  19. Danny says:

    “MMMMMMM breakfast beans!!”


  20. gorto says:

    Deep foreshadowing:
    In segment 3, Joel states his dream was of him and the robots returning to earth, and the bots getting an apartment together. As the series finale shows, that does happen. At the end of episode 1013, Joel has long been back on earth, and Crow and Tom do move into an apartment together (now with Mike of course). A metaphor for Joel’s creative dream ending???


  21. Sean74 says:

    I always loved this episode! While the Undersea Kingdom short didn’t do much for me, the movie itself was a great piece for J&TB to work on. That Gary Busey-look-alike always seems to be in these kind of movies; I always wondered if Merritt Stone, Gene Roth, and Jack Kosslyn were all seperated at birth! :lol: Hey, am I the only one who thinks that “Liz Baby” is one of the hottest women to ever grace an MST3K movie? Maybe its her petiteness, or that southern drawl, but I always thought she was gorgeous. I have to chuckle at the part where, as one of the scientists says, “And there’s something even more amazing”, Crow chimes, “I’m Skippy the Chimp!”, which in turn makes Joel look over and stifle a laugh at Crow. I always thought that there weren’t enough moments like this during the Joel era, and that Mike’s more common laughing at jokes told by TBs had a natural feel to their delivery. The host segments are brilliant, too; the “Danger To Maself and Others!” song ranks right up with “Clowns in the Sky” as one of their best. One more thing not mentioned yet: what was with the strange-ass ending? The townspeople and ultra-beefy Steve blow up the preserve, giant leeches start floating to the surface, appearing dead, everyone walks away happy to have killed the leeches, and then you see and hear the leeches moving around again as the scene fades. Was that Corman’s way of trying to lay grounds for a sequel?


  22. EpcotServo says:

    This one is so-so for me. Riffing is great, it’s just SO hard for me to get through the movie without getting distracted.

    Undersea Kingdom, Danger to myself and others, and the Leech at the end are all great though.

    “HEY! It’s the undersea kingdommmm for you and me and it’s funnn!!!”


  23. skenderberg says:

    The short’s my favorite part, if only because it’s so ridiculous. The episode as a whole is halfway decent.

    Favorite Host Segment(s): I have two, actually. The “Danger to Myself and Others” song is, of course, fantastic, but those angsty clowns at the beginning are hilarious.

    Favorite Comment: Movie: “We’re being dragged down by some mysterious force.” Crow (I think): “The plot?”

    Read my full review here.


  24. Bob says:

    Here’s a bit of trivia about Bruno VeSota and a tenuous Star Trek connection. VeSota actually directed a few films, including a black-and-white SF movie in 1958 called, “The Brain Eaters”. Near the end of the movie there’s a young actor made up in a robe with a large hood and a huge fake beard to make him appear elderly. Even though you can’t see his face well at all and he’s very young and just getting started in show business, the voice is unmistakable, it’s Leonard Nemoy. No, Nemoy is not a spelling error, at the time, that’s how he was listed on the credits.


  25. Joel Kazoo says:

    Re: Gypsy’s “when” comment

    A bit later, (or was it earlier?), she asks, (or Joel gives her? Been a while since I’ve watched this), a sugar cube. She then proceeds to lean Waaaaaaaaay back, almost falling over. My guess is Jim was trying to get the sugar cube out to make sure it didn’t affect Gypsy’s mouth movements, but it’s quite distracting (but in a good way, like all MST distractions are!).


  26. Puppet Wrangler says:

    Did they run out of white spray paint on some of these episodes???? Note: Toms hands.


  27. adoptadog says:

    This short has one of the most blatant, though probably accidental, “cop-a-feel” moments ever. When the heroes are trying to escape from the horsemen, Crash rushes up to Diana and attempts to steer her. I wish J&TBs had drawn attention to it; the actress manages to brush him off without missing a beat – very impressive!


  28. 1 adam 12 says:

    adoptadog is absolutely right. I remember noticing that when I first saw this episode (sometime in the 90s), and was shocked that J&TB never said anything about it. Particularly because Mike & the Bots repeatedly reference the similar but much less obvious scene in Season 8’s Agent for H.A.R.M. I’m stunned that this got into the finished version of the original short in the first place!


  29. Spector says:

    Ah, nothing like a crappy Roger Corman film to bring out the best in the Brains! Simply a wonderful episode from start to finish. Great host segments, a terrifically funny short with many great riffs and of course the main feature with the Giant Leeches looking just like guys in big black plastic garbage bags and about as scary. Hilarious stuff and one of the best episodes in MST3K history. As I’ve said before Season Four was the best of the Joel years, one of the best in the show’s history, perhaps the best period.

    Of the serials they riffed “Undersea Kingdom” was the best.

    “Oh I’d like to know where you got the notion…”

    “Come on, Di-aanne!”

    “Annapolis a day keeps the doctor away”

    “We’re walking really really fast, we’re walking really really fast”

    “I’m riding shotgun”. “You are a shotgun”.

    “Heeeey, it’s the Undersea Kingdom for you and for me, it’s fi-i-n-n-e!”


  30. briizilla says:

    For me it’s a good, not great episode. Yvette Vickers is SMOKING hot but otherwise this is a pretty bland movie, nothing really happens and the ending feels so anti climatic. The holoclowns bit is classic though.


  31. Dan in WI says:

    Let me start by checking if anybody could use some coffee…

    Magic Voice sums up the hollo-clowns pretty well “I hate those clowns and I don’t even exist.”

    Those non-white Tom Servo hands are disturbing.

    “And being neither food nor drug, there’s no pesky FDA regulation to impede your progress and I can impede your will.” Really? Dr. Forrester is a mad scientist. What does he care about the FDA? Oh, it’s just a show? I should really just relax? Okay.

    The insty adolescent kit is a rare dark invention for Joel and the Bots.

    I don’t know about you but when I see that Chrysler Merimac I think a great call back would have been “nipple nipple tweek tweek fly”

    You got to love Crow’s plan to take over the world. He’d make California tumble into the ocean. The Atlantic Ocean.

    Favorite Riffs:
    Joel “hey it’s the 34 horsemen of the apacolypse.” (That would have made a great wrestling stable but probably would have overloaded that Highlander episode.)

    Joel “hey check it out. It says Bill Shatner was here.”

    Crow “I hate it when they talk during the … oh.”

    Tom “When you get near a sentence let me know.”

    Joel “this sitting around plum wore me out.”

    Liz “Get out you fat pig.” Joel “Now wait a minute. I don’t go around calling you a beautiful shapely woman do I?”

    Sherif Kovis: “I’m willing to bet a month’s pay they don’t come up with anything more than excuses.” Crow “Well I could use ten bucks.”


  32. Sitting Duck says:

    Then-still-somewhat-current reference: Mayor Dinkins. Remember him?

    No. Who was he?


  33. ck says:

    So why keep Yvette Vickers alive in her Giant
    Leech trysting area and then kill her off at the
    end. Wouldn’t it have been cheerier (esp. for a ’50s audience)
    to have her survive?

    Btw, if you’re gonna cheat on a best friend, good choice to
    do so with Yvette.


  34. Graboidz says:

    Love this movie, riffed or unriffed. I remember seeing this when I was just a youngin’ on my local creature feature, and it scared the poop out of my butt!!


  35. Creepygirl says:

    I too like many others really like this episode. I don’t have much to add because it’s all been posted above. I will say this episode is a classic for the host segments alone. The movie brings my score down a hair.

    4 stars.


  36. Bombastic Biscuit Boy says:

    THIS…this is just awesome MST3k…as I’ve said before, somehow I’ve memorized the Undersea Kingdom short from beginning to end…

    “He’ll make a fine officer” TOM: He’ll make several of them!
    [Little Billy gets into the action] CROW: Oh no! Billy’s having an episode!
    “Go get Briny and Salty…” TOM: Briny and Salty! The Pretzel Twins!
    “A combination of copper and gold!” TOM: Gopper!
    [As our heroes are being bombarded with strange-looking torpedoes] TOM: Oh no! They’re shooting hot dogs at them! JOEL: Admiral! Deploy the cheddarwurst!

    Actually, I think this is one of Corman’s better films…Bruno VeSota is pretty good and you have the sultry Yvette Vickers; too bad it also has the goofy Game Warden [who thinks the best way of ousting pesky leeches is blowing the whole swamp up] and his coffee-obsessed girlfriend…oh, and the cheapest “leech” costumes ever! Why didn’t they just call it Attack of the Average-Sized Men in Mardi-Gras Scuba Suits and leave it at that?

    [Yvette Vickers changes into a negligee]:blush: JOEL: (as Bruno VeSota) Ah told her to stop wearing mah things!


  37. Stressfactor says:

    @ Dan in WI”

    Not to mention the fact that I distinctly heard the familiar “Chevy horn” sound in “Undersea Kingdom” that provided the sound of the “Constant Heat Ray” in “Radar Men From the Moon”. It’s a little weird having a flashback to one cheap serial while watching another cheap serial.

    Also, I’m surprised no comments about Crash Corrigan’s age here. The guy looked at least 40 but he was supposed to be an Annapolis cadet?!

    As for the movie….

    On first viewing I wasn’t too impressed (but, then again, I was trying to finish a knitting project for Christmas and I may have been slightly distracted by the pattern). I sat down to watch it again and give it a little more attention and found that it was pretty good. Not my favorite for the season (that one still stands at “Teenagers from Outer Space”…. for now) but good.

    BTW does anyone else notice that Joel seems to lose the words to the song on “A Danger to Myself and Others” when he gets distracted trying to light the fuse on the ‘dyamite’?

    The ‘holo-clowns’ opening is a pure delight from all the cast. Who knew Mike could be so creepy
    ? (“Hey, little girl, want a salted nut roll?”) But kudos to the puppeteers for making all the bots seem suitably freaked out and Joel who discards his ‘sleepy’ persona yet again to wail “It’s getting hard to sleep at night and I’m tasting metal” and then to scream “I HAVE TO DO THIS!!”


  38. 24HourWideAwakeNightmare says:


    David Dinkins – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Remember when he and Giuliani guested on Seinfeld? They wrote separate endings depending on who won the NYC mayorship.

    Clown puddles…


  39. Lisa says:

    Love this episode (though I’ve really OD’d on it at this point) and love the short. I believe this short is the oldest piece they ever riffed on.

    Great Corman cast including VeSota, Vickers, Emmett, etc. I agree with Paul who wrote in ACEG that this movie had a genuinely creepy feel to it. And this episode has one of the best host segments ever – We’re a danger to ourselves and others — “kinda reminds me of Darwin’s theory of natural selection. Yeah, if you’re dumb, you die!”

    I think I may like the short even more than the movie. It was a very rich source of jokes — so much goofy stuff going on.

    Jokes that my husband I still make…
    Here you go Miss Shoby
    Hurry Diane!
    I am the sum of my vices, I have my struggles, my hobbies, Mylanta…


  40. dsman71 says:

    Great Ep, great short, movie, segments, nuff said and Joel got a really short haircut and parted it differently. This is the style hed have it until Mitchell…I swear some time went by between Being from Another Planet and Giant almost feels like another chapter in the show
    Joels hair
    Joels Knees
    Giant Leeches Suck – literally
    Gene Roth is the sheriff by the way
    See ? Therapy works !


  41. Manny Sanguillen says:

    Sampo says that doctors have found good medicinal uses for leeches, but some people took that way too far.
    Back in the olden days (like 200 years ago), people thought having daily blood sucking treatments with leeches was a healthy thing to do. I remember reading that it is what killed George Washington, because he sincerely believed this myth.
    It was pretty much just another form of quack medicine.
    This is an okay episode, but not one of my favorites. I can enjoy it once in a while.

    Favorite riff was “ahh, what a life, sitting around flipping a walnut in a sieve.”

    I love it because long before they riffed it, I was trying to figure out what the hell that guy was doing. When the riff came, I was just happy to see that someone besides me had noticed it.


  42. Lisa says:

    Ack, I forgot all about the opening. The scene with holo-clowns is great — get down on your orange and yellow knees and thank God I haven’t killed you yet. And I love the clown haiku — hear the scream of the greasepaint! Clown puddles.

    Very nice.


  43. Tom Carberry says:

    What could possibly be cheaper than a Roger Corman movie? How about a movie produced by his younger and less talented brother Gene Corman. Yes, Gene, who also gave us Night of the Blood Beast (1958), deposited this little pile on the viewing public in 1959. I must admit a certain fondness for this movie, as I saw it at the drive-in with my family. As a five or six-year-old I was impressed with the “monsters”, but now I can see the costumes barely conceal the SCUBA equipment. It was filmed at the Chaplin Studios in Hollywood, and the Los Angeles County Arboretum and Botanic Garden in Arcadia, CA.

    This movie was coupled with a short (the first episode of Undersea Kingdom). Favorite lines:

    [of Ray (Crash) Corrigan at the induction physical] “Great Chap, I wish we had more like him”. Keep your mind on your work. You’re in enough trouble as it is. “He’ll make a grand naval officer.” He’ll make several of them. [Note: it is hard to believe that Ray’s last “work” was in the rubber monster suit in “It, the Terror From Beyond Space”.]
    Xanadu, stately underwater home of Charles Foster Kane, fish, no fish can say.
    [of the King’s “crown”] Jiffy Pop’s ready.
    It’s the 1968 Chrysler Merrimac.
    [Crow doing his James Mason voice] I want to take us down to 20,000 leagues.
    Shouldn’t they be riding side saddle in those skirts? Some of them are.
    Oh, no. They’re shooting hot dogs at them. Hold the mustard on that one.

    Giant Leeches favorite lines:

    [directed by Bernard L. Kowalski] Title sequence named desire. STELLA!
    It’s a Hee Haw writing session.
    Maybe we should have subtitles for this.
    [of Gene Roth/Sheriff Kovis] Mmmm! Breakfast beans. Oh, this guy’s the sheriff of everything. Gary Busey ladies and gentlemen, Gary Busey.
    [of Nan Shepard] What, is she on her lunch break from Wendy’s?
    There’s gotta be a trailer park around here somewhere. Man, look at all the weed. Where are they, Tommy Chong’s backyard?
    “Do you think you learned enough to stay away from my woman, Cal?” I learned plenty. I’ve got a Ph.D. in staying away from your wife.
    These guys are aggressively incompetent.
    Oh look, Jim Henson’s Cracker Babies.
    We don’t want hillbillies with good taste, we want hillbillies that taste good. Hillbilly Bread.
    Yeah, yeah, we know. You saw the best minds of your generation destroyed by madness. We know.
    We’re worried about you’re not smoking, Chad.
    [Dr. Grayson drinking what looks like a large highball] Ahhh, you know liquor makes everything right. From the Liquor Council. It’s what your body is thirsty for.


  44. Insect Man #47 says:

    I have very affectionate thoughts toward this episode. It’s absolutely killer with the riffing and host segments, and I happen to be friends with the gal who played Nan Grayson, Jan Shepard. Her son and I met at basketball camp in 1972, and became good friends. I spent many weekends at their house in L.A., and Jan is a wonderful person. She also has a great sense of humor and I am sure she thoroughly enjoyed being roasted like coffee beans by the MST gang. She and her husband Ray will be celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary in 2012.


  45. Creeping Terror says:

    @1: I agree. I never knew this one was a “fan favorite” and I’ve been on these boards for three years now. I don’t see anything special about this episode. Like last week’s, it’s a “meh” episode for me. I probably wouldn’t watch either one ever if it weren’t for these weekly rendezvouses. That’s one of the reasons I like the discussions so much.

    I agree with others that the holo-clowns skit is excellent. Mike and Paul don’t hold back at all.

    “Danger to Myself and Others” is one of the best songs of the Joel era. But every time I watch it (which is not very often), I come away from it saying, “That song isn’t as good as I remember.”

    And this is the 3rd episode in the row with the STUPID, INSIPID “Jim Henson’s _______________ Babies.” Whichever writer thought that was funny deserves to be punched in the face.


  46. Bobby 23-Skidoo says:

    “Oh take me to the sweet mushroom palace, my friend booze” is a MSTphrase I find myself using often in real life when out with friends. Kudos to you, MST3K, for introducing that phrase into my vocabulary.


  47. Cheapskate Crow says:

    I love the holoclowns and haiku, a very off the wall beginning that was hilarious. I was really getting into the show back when this first aired and even got non-MSTie friends of mine to enjoy the rest of this season starting with this episode. A great starter episode for noobs and enjoyable to long-time MSTies as well, Corman movies are just the best for this show although I wish the short had been just one segment instead of two.
    About the holoclowns, I didn’t realize how many times they did re-enactments of the ending of Witness until these last couple of months of episode watching, fortunately I find it hilarious each time.


  48. I love the “Jim Henson’s _____ Babies” riffs. The one that was really amazing was “Jim Henson’s Last Picture Show Babies” in Junior Rodeo Daredevils. That shot really did look like the movie.

    This isn’t one of my favorite episodes. The Holoclowns are incredible, but as for the rest of it –
    At least in the Coleman Francis movies, you can marvel at the incompetence. Corman is just…zzzzz…


  49. Neptune Man says:

    This isn’t one of my favourite episodes, I found myself paying more attention to the movie than the riffing. But the skits are fun. The same happens to me with the Killer Shrews, in my mind, both movies are one.


  50. ck says:


    That’s all very well, but does Ray like Nan’s coffee?
    I mean, if not can their marriage last?


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