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Episode guide: 706- Laserblast

Movie: (1977) A troubled teen finds an alien’s weapon and takes revenge on those who taunted him.

First shown: 5/18/96
Opening: With Mike tied up, Crow and Tom present the “Thunderdome” joke
Intro: Dr. F.’s funding has been cut, so he cuts the SOL loose! But Tom gets the thrusters working
Host segment 1: The SOL picks up Monad, an annoying robot
Host segment 2: The SOL hits a field of star babies — and one of them needs changing
Host segment 3: With the SOL heading toward a black hole, Mike undergoes a terrifying but useful transformation
End: The SOL reaches the edge of the universe and its inhabitants become beings of pure energy. Meanwhile, Dr. F. becomes unstuck in time, has a revelation and is reborn
Stinger: “Faaar out!”
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (259 votes, average: 4.62 out of 5)

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• And so we come to the end of another era of MST3K and the departure of MST3K’s powerhouse, Trace Beaulieu. It really is hard to imagine that the show could have become the classic it is without him, and while it did manage to find its footing again after his departure, his absence was keenly felt for a long time. Thanks for everything, Trace.
• As for the episode itself, it’s mostly a winner. As usual when they have a story to tell in the host segments, they do it with brisk efficiency. The sci-fi parodies are everywhere (perhaps preparing viewers — and themselves — for what was to come) and a couple of the segments are classics. The riffing is steady and strong — and they had a LOT to work with. All in all, it would have made a fine farewell episode if the show had not been picked up.
• This episode appears in Shout! Factory’s “20th Anniversary Edition.”
References.
• Mike writes about the episode and then Paul, Mary Jo and Kevin wrap up the season here.
• Joel Hodgson’s “TV Wheel” was shown immediately following this episode’s debut, so it was kind of a big day for MSTies.
• It had been 10 weeks since the last new episode and, as far as anybody knew when this first aired, there would never be another episode again. As it turned out, we would have to wait eight and a half months.
• In his writeup, Mike explains that the hilarious opening sketch was something that arose from a running gag in the writing room. I actually had an opportunity to use the thunderdome joke recently. Its message is still timely.
• The umbilicus, completely forgotten since about mid-season six, suddenly makes a reappearance and is suddenly a critical connection that determines whether the SOL’s orbit begins to decay or not. (And in the “how does he eat and breathe?” department, what was preventing their orbit from decaying in seasons K through 5?) Mike notices this in his writeup as well.
• I love how Mike does the Star Trek “shirt tug” before he says “Engage!”
• It’s fun to make fun of Kim Milford, who plays Billy, but that becomes more difficult after you find out that Milford died of heart failure following open heart surgery. He was only 37. (Incidentally he did NOT die of HIV, as was rumored.)
• You might recognize some of the background score. It’s the same Richard Band noodling that was also used in the movie in episode 110-ROBOT HOLOCAUST.
• Callbacks: “Roxie!” (Eegah) also “Eegah!” “It was after the Acropolis.” (Robot Holocaust) “Hi, I’m Max Keller.” (Master Ninja I) “It’s the Coleman Francis mountain!” Also a mention of Cherokee Jack. “Robert Ginty” (Warrior of the Lost World). And “Leave the Bronx!”
• I love the riff: “Let’s pop amyls and watch ‘Days.'” I’d assumed he was referring to the soap opera “Days of Our Lives” but a commenter suggested he might be saying “Dazed” as in the movie “Dazed and Confused,” which might also make sense. I previously asked if that line was from something and nobody so far has recognized it.
• Of course that’s Jim as the voice of Monad the perfection-seeking robot. It’s a funny idea but the bit feels a little rushed to me.
• After going several seasons without so much as making mention of it, this episode features not one but two uses of the “hatch” at upstage left. In the past it has been used by Joel/Mike to get to the theater. Now it seems to be a portal into space. Mike also notices this in his writeup.
• The “changing the starbaby” bit is a cute idea (I especially like Mike as the quintessential NASA flight controller guy), but it doesn’t really have a payoff (“put it on a shelf”?).
• The whole “ready for some football” thing became a catchphrase, and long-lived one. it pops up every fall on MSTie social media to this day.
• Obscure riff: “This sucks, I was supposed to headline,” as the characters pull up in a car together. This is reference, as I think I have mentioned before, to the experience many of the writers had as traveling comics working a circuit of comedy clubs in the upper midwest. They tended to travel to the club in one car, with the headliner getting the best seat, etc.
• Over several seasons, they’d established Mike’s bizarre ability to “become” other people at times of stress. He became Carol Channing and Kenny G, for example. This strange notion finally pays off in segment 3 when Mike — in one of the most notorious segments of the series — becomes “Star Trek Voyager”‘s Captain Janeway and saves the day.
• The whole Leonard Maltin thing really does point up the fundamental flaw of his rating system. I was once a devotee of his books: buying a new one every September was an annual rite of the fall. And before the arrival of the IMDB (which pretty much made Maltin’s guide superfluous) it was pretty handy. But I always felt his rating system was completely out of whack. The problem, to begin with, was he used a four-star rating system when a five-star system would have served him better. But the bigger flaw in the system was that, for reasons that I felt were never adequately explained, his lowest rating (other than “bomb”) was 1-and-half stars. No film received a one-star or half-star rating, which created a kind of odd star-rating inflation among bad movies. Had he made use of the half-star and one-star ratings, I believe this sort of problem would not have happened (or at least would not have been so acute) and he might not have let himself in for the well-deserved mockery he gets here.
• By the way: in Ward E we have a list of MSTed movies that have been given 2-and-a-half stars by Leonard Maltin.
• The final bit, of course, is amazing; as Mike notes, that’s Trace’s dad (who has since passed away) as “old Forrester.” The final moment of that segment gives me chills every time.
• Cast and crew roundup: Editor Jodie Copelan also worked on “Ring of Terror” and “Night of the Blood Beast.” Special effects guy Harry Woolman also worked on “The Incredible Melting Man.” “Hangar 18” and “Agent for H.A.R.M.” Score composer Richard Band also worked on “Robot Holocaust” (as noted above) and “Being From Another Planet.”
In front of the camera: Cheryl Smith was also in “The Incredible Melting Man.” Keenan Wynn will be seen again in “Parts: The Clonus Horror.”
• CreditsWatch: Host segments directed by Trace Beaulieu. This of course was Trace’s last episode with the show. In addition to his acting and writing credits, this is the last episode he got “art direction” and “set design” credits. Joel Hodgson’s and Jef Maynard’s “set design” credits end with this episode as well. The “additional original music written and arranged by” credit goes away completely. This was Helen Espinoza’s last episode as prop master. It is Beth “Beez” McKeever’s last show as prop assistant (she would get a promotion beginning with season eight). We also bid farewell to: production manager/post-production coordinator Wendell Jon Anderson, production assistant Michael D. Parker, Info Club poobah Julie Walker (assistant poobah Barb Tebben would get a promotion in season eight) and interns Danika King, Ben Mooers and Kelly Schrandt.
• Fave riff: “So they’re just off County Road C goin’ at it, huh?” Honorable mention: “Look! Everyone was sending a sheet of paper to everyone else.”

223 Replies to “Episode guide: 706- Laserblast”

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  1. Big McLargeHuge says:

    What cracks me up every time is the riffing during the makeout scene, especially “Ugh, what is that? Can you show that?” They sound so authentically disgusted by what’s on the screen, it’s hilarious.

       5 likes

  2. Warren says:

    It’s not clear to me if the laser weapon was the secret government project that was sort of implied by the gov’t agent having known the crazy Grandpa for years, or if it was designed by the aliens. The aliens could have retrieved the weapon early on but they didn’t. Incidentally the meaning of 2001 is very much open to interpretation, which is how Clarke and Kubrick intended it. A good choice for an homage in the final segment.

       3 likes

  3. rockyjones says:

    Even more than the puzzling appearance of Roddy “MacDowell” in this schlockfest, the relevance of both the Keenan Wynn and “government guy” characters always baffled me. Especially with Keenan’s early lines like “Cherry Point….hush-hush”, etc. I had always wondered if it was just the way the Brains edited the movie for time that possibly obscured the clarity of those referrences…or if those details were just absent-mindedly abandoned by the filmmaker, ala “The Room”. Can anyone who owns (or has seen) the unriffed version shed any light on the subject?

    One sure thing….That’s one impressive “Santa beard” Keenan Wynn’s sportin’! Possibly one of screendom’s all-time greatest beards!

       2 likes

  4. John Seavey says:

    Oh, I forgot another fave riff of mine in this film: “Someone threw away a perfectly good arm remover!”

    The take I had on the movie was that the laserblaster was some sort of alien tech that had found its way to Earth via the green guy. The government found out about it, and sent one of their top Pat Sajak impersonators to find it, and the turtle aliens came to Earth to stop it too, because it was Bad. But the turtle aliens didn’t know that the green guy was just a helpless pawn, turned into a killing machine by the lethal combo of pendant and arm remover, until their boss called them up and told them that someone new had found it and was in the process of turning into another green guy. So they come back, finish what they started, and Earth is saved from…um…something. Something Bad, apparently.

       5 likes

  5. DamonD says:

    Found the film and riffing of it fairly dull actually, though the ‘football’ riffs were consistantly good. Maybe like with Deathstalkers I should give it another try sometime.

    The host segments are memorable though, especially the bizarre 2001 ending. Mike as Janeaway is one of the funniest segments they’ve ever done.

    “ROLLIN’! ROLLIN’! ROLLIN’ DOWN THE RIIIIVERRRR!”

       0 likes

  6. Baby Oil! says:

    JCC #96 and Kouban #97: I’ll have to watch the riff in slo-mo to figure out if there’s either an extreme camel toe or butt crack on screen. Heaven help me if I see both.

    I hope I figure this out. It seems like “bike rack!” would be a great term for everyday use (when a certain situation presents itself).

       0 likes

  7. Cubby says:

    Baby Oil!,

    It’s a crack shot.

    To put it this way, if plumbers wore bikini bottoms while they worked, it would go … a little something … like this.

       1 likes

  8. Brian T. says:

    I think I’ve seen this episode only once. I don’t remember too much about it but wasn’t there some kind of subplot about somebody almost buying gas?

       2 likes

  9. Fingal says:

    Monad is a reference to Nomad from star trek.
    I thought it was a great send up.

    Maybe everyone knew that, but it wasn’t mentioned so I figured I’d pop in.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nomad_%28Star_Trek%29

       4 likes

  10. Cabbage Patch Elvis says:

    Fingal – with a name like that, I figured you would have scrolled up some cinema on Nomad for us! :mrgreen:

       1 likes

  11. Droppo says:

    The end of an era.

    MST3K is my favorite show of all time…in fact, it’s my favorite entertainment “thing” of all time. I love it more than any band, album, movie, etc.

    And Trace’s contributions simply cannot be overstated or praised enough. The interplay between Dr. F. and Frank is one of my favorite dynamics of the show. One of the truly great comedy teams. And, as Crow? Wow. Strictly from a performance standpoint (b/c who knows the intricacies of how the writing process worked), of every MST3K performer in its entire run, I don’t think you can say that anyone delivered more laughs. Whether it was in host segments or in-theater, Trace was always hilarious and frequently stole the show.

    Also, consider this: not only did he have fantastic comedic chemistry with Frank, he and Kevin also formed one of the all-time classic comedy teams as Crow and Servo…and worked amazingly well with both Joel (creating the hilarious and strangely poignant family dynamic with Crow as the rascally little kid of the bunch) and Mike (three buddies, hanging out and making fun of movies).

    I also believe that there is no way MST3K could have survived the initial shift from Joel to Mike (just b/c of how jarring it was to lose the star of the show, not b/c of a loss of quality) if Trace hadn’t been there to provide continuity as both Dr. F. and Crow.

    To me, Frank leaving was a crushing blow. It broke up the Dr. F/Frank team which I adored so much. And it led to the most upsetting thing in MST3K history for me….the arrival of Pearl, literally the only main MST3K character that I don’t love…but, rather, actively despise. Trace’s departure elevated Pearl to the second most important human character on the show. I can’t describe how much that hurt. More on that when we get to Season 8.

    Now, on to the episode itself:

    The movie/riffing: Liked it, but, not as much as The Incredible Melting Man (which was, for me, the funniest of the season by a large degree) or Deathstalker.

    Loved the Master Ninja reference.

    Liked the “ready for some football motif.”

    And my favorite part of the riffing was the Maltin stuff. Actually one of my favorite “over the end credit” riffing gags.

    The host segments:

    The Thunderdome thing bothered me simply b/c they had previously used the joke (or a very close variation) in Alien From L.A. If they hadn’t, I’d enjoy it more. But, I’ve always found that distracting.

    I appreciated Pearl being shifted to the background in the opening segments and thought the “funding” angle (and Mike’s subsequent lampooning of it in the Season 7 episode guide) was very funny.

    I don’t like the annoying robot sketch.

    The star baby sketch is OK…Mike is funny in it. Not amazing material.

    Captain Mike Janeway is one of the best host segments of the Mike era. Absolutely hilarious.

    The end: I really did think it was the last episode ever. I remember having mixed feelings. The “pure energy” thing was OK…but, I didn’t feel it all resolved the “story” (as funny as that sounds) of Mike and the bots. When the show ended, I wanted them to come back to Earth, not become pure energy. It was fine…but, not great. The Forrester/2001 stuff was brilliant. Truly hilarious and very well done. HOWEVER….why in the world would you give Pearl the final scene? Even if she was liked (at that point, by any measure, she wasn’t), even if she was a great character (again, I loathe her character), it was her 6th episode as a cast member!! After 7 seasons, she gets to be the last face that you see? I was bitterly disappointed by that and it actually still bothers me. In fact, if she was simply omitted from that end sequence (which she easily could have been)….it would have made me genuinely love the ending. Instead, it made me mad. It made me mean mad.

    Trace/Bill transition stuff….I’ll leave that to Season 8 discussion.

    But, Pearl-related gripes aside…the episode was good, not great. 3.5 stars. And I think any analysis of it should really be all about giving proper credit to a man on the Mt. Rushmore of MST3K.

    Trace, you were enjoyed.

       3 likes

  12. norgavue says:

    It’s a good episode but for me since I didn’t get in till the beginning of season eight it doesn’t have the same punch it would have to those there at the beginning. Still I like the way the sendoff occurs as it has some good host segments and that little forester end sequence was one of my favorites. The difference between the Comedy central years and the scifi era will more than likely become a topic in the next few weeks. Has that been a weekend Discussion yet?

       0 likes

  13. Manny Sanguillen says:

    This is a great episode with great riffing.
    It’s in my top ten.
    Sad that Milford died after open heart surgey. I can’t help think how ironic that is considering one of the first things that comes to my mind when thinking about this movie is of Roddy McDowell cutting that doorbell out of Milford’s chest.

    ‘Get Dr. Melon – Rap him for a hollow sound’.

    “Thank you Mrs.Joe Don Baker”

       0 likes

  14. Fingal says:

    @Cabbage Patch Elvis –
    I learned my lesson on scrolling up cinemas LAST Time! ;)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpVoILj2bn0

    I’m Interfaced!!!!!

       1 likes

  15. crowschmo says:

    :sad:
    Noooo!!!!

    Last Trace episode. The end of an era.

    I kind of liked this episode the first few times I saw it, and liked a few of the riffs mentioned, but can’t think of any favorites right now, because I tried to watch it again for this discussion and just couldn’t sit through it again. I kind of jumped around.

    Didn’t really like the host segments. As I thought this was the last episode ever, it felt a bit empty and unfinished. Star baby and Thunderdome things weren’t funny to me.

    Hated the “ready for some football” refs after the first few times. Okay, gotcha. Enough, already. :roll:

    That whole Billy’s mother is going to Acapulco thing: He wonders when she’s going to stop going because she’s been there already. She says when she stops “being asked”. To do what? Be a hooker? Somebody’s arm candy/mistress? Stewardess? What the hell is she talking about? I guess it doesn’t really matter. They just never explained why she apparently is always leaving him behind.

    There were a couple of riffs I liked, but I can’t really think of them right now, as I couldn’t watch this this time around. Oh, well.

    So- We’re not going to discuss the Home Game? Just going into season 8?

    No “what riffs do you think they WOULD have done if they had been the ones to do the movie and not you the viewers”?

    Don’t have much more to add to this.

    Only – sad day for MST3K.

       0 likes

  16. Cornjob says:

    When I was about 8 years old I somehow talked my parents into taking me to a drive-in to see this. They have yet to forgive me.

    When Roddy McDowell was about to remove the doorbell from the idio… I mean, our hero’s chest, my parents were afraid something really yucky that would give me nightmares was about to come onscreen and they suddenly raised a towel in front of my face. Being a budding gorehound, I found this to be very irritating and rude.

    My parents assured me that nothing interesting happened in the few seconds I missed, but it wasn’t until the MST version was released that I got to see those missing seconds. I also got to see how mind tearingly awful a movie it is. I’m pretty sure the film didn’t lose any coherance when being edited for the show.

    Of all the half-baked elements in the story. I wonder most why the amulet/power source turned stupid’s chest into unearthly metal, the rest of him into a reptilian Ziggy Stardust, and made him homicidal? What do the metal, the green, and the crazy have to with each other, and what does any of that have to do with the alien/government laserblaster?

    And could someone please tell me what the, “Fortunately thease slacks have memory”, riff means. I’m not sure any riff I don’t get has puzzled me more.

    I was excited when I heard this was going to be the final Comedy Central episode, and I thought it was a perfect, hilarious and touching send-off. I didn’t feel much angst because I was confident that the show would land elsewhere and continue, and that my heart would go on.

    As for Comedy Central, I thank them profusely for giving our show it’s first national home, and curse them for cancelling it at the hight of it’s popularity.

       5 likes

  17. The scene with his mother is pretty pointless as exposition. Like they had to show he was from a broken home to explain why he’d wander into the desert and find a laserblast gun. Naturally if he wasn’t such a discontented wretch he would have turned it over to the nearest policeman, who would probably go on to turn green and blast all of his enemies, anyway.

       5 likes

  18. Torgo's Pajamas says:

    “Well…did you?” That’s such a perfect riff. It’s exactly what that turtle-aliens looks like he’s saying.

    I get a little weepy at the end of Season 7. It’s nice that Season 8 was so strong to help and ease the pain.

       3 likes

  19. Big McLargeHuge says:

    #116–I think “memory slacks” were one of those wretched polyester creations of the 70s, which were guaranteed not to wrinkle after crouching down to examine strange shards of glass in the desert of the Southwest, because there was not one ounce of natural fiber in them.

       3 likes

  20. Big Feet says:

    Do you folks have any idea who “Fanny And Teisher” are? They’re mentioned just before Captain and Tennille. Imaginary oatmeal cookie goes out to anyone who can identify them…

       0 likes

  21. Manny Sanguillen says:

    Ferrante & Teicher (SP?) were a recording artist of the 70’s that wrote elevator music type stuff. They had no singing that I know of, just music .
    I had a couple of singles by them when I was kid. I think I recall one of them being “theme from ‘A Summer Place’.
    I sing that to myself once in a while and always use the title as the words.-
    “Theme. From a Summer Place. From a summer Pla-a-ace, a Summer Place.”

    I have a fun world.

       3 likes

  22. Manny Sanguillen says:

    As a further note, I didn’t BUY the singles, someone gave them to me. Don’t want anyone to think I would actually purchase a Ferrante & Teicher record.
    That reminds me though. The first single I ever bought as a kid was Dancin’ In the Moonlight by King Harvest right after it came out. That’s still a great song.

       0 likes

  23. Cabbage Patch Elvis says:

    For more information on Ferrante & Teicher, please consult your local Goodwill, right behind the eight copies of Whipped Cream & Other Delights by Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass.

       4 likes

  24. Cornjob says:

    #119 Re: Memory Slacks. Thank you Big McLargeHuge. You’ve reduced my ambient confusion level a titch. The idea that his pants had a data storage capacity or an A.I. never made any sense to me.

       2 likes

  25. Big McLargeHuge says:

    Well, you know, the mysterious Sears suit-wearing Bill Bixby David Birney guy was presumably an early Man In Black, so maybe his slacks were hi tech. Couldn’t have been more than 4K memory, though.

       1 likes

  26. snowdog says:

    Laserblast is one of my favorites and the only movie I ever saw pre-MSTed in the theatre. It was a cheap attempt to capitalize on Star Wars.

    I, too, was able to use the Beyond Thunderdome joke recently. Life is good!

       1 likes

  27. Ryan K says:

    Didn’t see it mentioned anywhere else, and my apologies if I missed it skimming comments, but the back-to-the-camera guitar song is “I’m Goin’ Home” by Ten Years After.

       3 likes

  28. Big Feet says:

    Thanks Manny, there’s a situation where Google was pretty much useless because I came nowhere close to spelling it right, and it wasn’t able to correct it properly. Another little small note – I liked Trace’s voice for the aliens because it reminded me of Crow’s voice for the first few seasons of the show.

    “Stay and have some Quisp with me at the junkie table.”

       1 likes

  29. The Toblerone Effect says:

    What a great way to end an era! This was an excellent episode, starting with the Thunderdome joke all the way through to the end and the homage to “2001”. It was clear they still had the chops to continue this show, and thankfully The Sci-Fi Channel saved our ultimate nightmare from coming true for three more years.

    Still, it was a sad day at the time of the first broadcast.

    Trace’s departure soon after the announcement of the show’s revival on SyFy was just as devastating as Joel’s. At least when Joel left, you still had the core characters intact along with Mike, who had been a hilarious contributor of many bit characters along with being head writer. Trace’s leaving, however, came at a time when we were just getting used to Frank being gone, and the very show itself was in its biggest transition. It only added to the uncertainty of what the show would look like come time for the new episodes to air.

    Looking back, I have mixed feelings about the Comedy Central era of the show. On the positive, there was a time when CC heavily promoted it, made MST its flagship program; the three-year, 24 eps a year contract alone was a clear indication of that. They also didn’t cow-tie BBI to “story arcs” the way SyFy did. However, the negatives are strong: the whole Penn Jillette fiasco, the program scheduling issues, lack of episode rotation, and using MST:TM as a reason to permanently cut ties. Once MST3K moved on and South Park became the “it” show, it was clear CC was headed in another direction.

    Anyway, on to Season 8! I can’t wait to revisit some of these upcoming episodes!

       2 likes

  30. Cornjob says:

    Re: Memory pants

    Unless they are being worn by jennifer Lopez I feel sorry for any sentient pants. Especially if their owner eats a lot of Double Baconators.

       1 likes

  31. jjb3k says:

    “Laserblast” is a bittersweet episode for me. It’s absolutely hilarious from beginning to end, but the knowledge that it was Trace’s last episode does put a bit of a damper on things. Trace will probably always be my favorite Brain, and the show lacked a lot of its playfulness and charm in his absence. Crow just isn’t the same without his cheerful little giggle. And no matter who Dr. Forrester was paired with, he was always my favorite Mad.

    Fortunately, Trace really shines in this episode. I like the cyclical reference they make throughout this one where Crow does this weird voice for the turtle aliens that’s almost identical to his regular speaking voice from KTMA and Season 1. It feels like the Brains’ personal callback on the eve of what could have been their cancellation, and it’s a great touch for the die-hard fans. It helps that the riffs Trace delivers in this voice are all hilarious (“I told you to ask directions at the gorlon station on Zingding 5, but no, you blatzeened ahead of that guy on Bartool!”) That moment where the aliens’ commander comes up on screen and gives a quick wave-like salute and Crow riffs “Howdy-do!” in that voice – that always, always kills me! I’m laughin’ just thinking about it now!

    This is another episode I paid tribute to on my DeviantArt page: http://jbwarner86.deviantart.com/art/Pa-Pa-Pow-120415270 My only regret is that I couldn’t fit my favorite character in there: Keenan Wynn as the crazy old Army guy. That scene where Detective Craig visits him is just brimming over with great riffs. “Whoa, gimme a second to just get crazy here…”, “Tony Craig!” “That would be a good name for you!”, “I wet myself today, you wanna see?”, “I cut the drapes too short, but I found a way to deal with it…”

    Of the two series finales (this and “Diabolik”), I like this one better. It’s the kind of movie that’s perfect for this show, plus the riffing is on A+ mode all the way through, and the host segments are all great. Mike as Captain Janeway makes me laugh more than it should – it’s just so utterly random. The bots’ screams of terror are classic.

    This marks the end of my favorite era of the show – Seasons 4 through 7, when the writing was at its peak, all the performers worked well with each other, and the characters were perfectly realized. The SciFi Channel era feels very very different…but I’ll get to that next week.

       3 likes

  32. Toots Sweet says:

    I love Trace’s falsetto voice when speaking a woman’s part, especially when Billy and his girlfriend are lying on the blanket presumably just after having had sex and Trace says “Is that all there is? Oh, well, nice try.” He also uses it to great effect in “The Home Economics Story”, for one good example. Such a contrast to Jim Mallon’s Gypsy voice which has always bugged the crap out of me. I can hardly understand what he’s saying and I find him extremely annoying.

       1 likes

  33. Bart Fargo says:

    Produced by Charles Band, One of the most Craptacular producers in Hollywood. From “Laserblast” to “Evel Bong”, and its sequel “King Bong. Never even trying to make anything higher than crap!
    And he still pays the people who work on his films next to nothing, though he lives in a pretty nice mansion!

       2 likes

  34. Bart Fargo says:

    Kathy: Gee Billy, if only you were more ordinary.

    Mike: More ordinary…, man, he’d have to work at that!

       6 likes

  35. Bart Fargo says:

    Billy: “A race, I’ll give you a race”!

    Crow: “Just let me get into my dads electric supply van”.

       1 likes

  36. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    #64: “Is Billy with the green face supposed to be possessed? If so, why is he only killing people who regular-faced Billy hated?”

    I think it’s like Green-Faced Billy is Mr. Hyde; he’s Billy’s repressed evil, so he kills people against whom Billy has a grudge, even if Billy didn’t realize that’s what was happening. He’s Bill’s inner demon (sort of literally).

    Probably Billy thought the doctor’s test results would ultimately “cure” him. Green-Faced Billy — the hidden part of Billy who understands what’s going on and LIKES it — would thus kill the doctor.

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  37. While I cherish about 99.9% of even the worst MSTs, every so often there’s a riff that gets under my skin, and there’s one in this experiment. During the opening credits, Mike (I think) comments on Gianni Russo’s name with “Oh, Gianni Russo. I remember her from…” and he trails off, the joke being that none of the people in the cast (except Roddy McDowell [sic]) are recognizable.

    First off, Gianni is a guy’s name, which kind of belies a little ignorance on someone’s part (unless that, too, is supposed to be part of the joke, which makes it pretty lame).

    But the main issue is, did NO ONE on the writing staff recall a tiny, obscure movie called THE GODFATHER? Specifically, a scene in which James Caan kicks the crap out of his brother-in-law in the street? A brother-in-law played by (dun dun DUNNNN!!!!) Gianni Russo? Granted, the name may not rise to people’s minds, but it just feels like laziness on the part of a writing team that’s name-checked everything from Annie Sprinkle to Aristophanes’ “The Frogs.” Much is made of the absence of “Battlestar Galactica” riffs in SPACE MUTINY, but this one’s right up there for me.

    Anyhow, that’s just me. Guess how long I’ve been holding on to that one? :roll:

       3 likes

  38. Going back over the comments here, I couldn’t help but notice the Ferrante & Teicher discussion. Does anyone else remember with fondness the “Newhart” episode in which Larry, Daryl & Daryl attempt to “class up” their cafe with live entertainment that turns out to be the tuxedoed Daryls playing twin baby grands on a giant turntable?

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  39. Chris McKay says:

    In reference to the “pop amyls and watch Days” line, I think he’s actually saying “watched Dazed”, as in the movie Dazed and Confused, though it is a little difficult to hear. As a fan of that movie, it was the first thing I heard.

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  40. minefield1000 says:

    I just like to state that the image of Mike as Captain Whatshername and as a woman generally was more disturbing and scary than any scene from the supposed-to-be-Horror-or-be-scary-movies I´ve seen on this show so far.

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  41. thedumpster says:

    Very depressing and creepy movie.

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  42. robot rump! says:

    per Mike’s comments about this one. there is a whole lot of ‘huh?’ going on in this movie.
    in this episode they do kind of cross the line with all the ‘are you ready for some football!?’
    i know the discussion has come up before. it is funny the first 4 or 5 times. after about 23 it is kind of played out. sorry.

    The Janeway send off kills me every time. i’m sorry but there weren’t enough 7 of 9’s wearing skin tight outfits in the whole universe to redeem that flop for me. *grumble* go beyond warp 10 and you become an iguana..PAH!

    Anyway…this movie makes me glad the 70’s are over, Eddie Deezen or no.

    oh yeah…’the Souths gonna do it again..’

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  43. BIG61AL says:

    Still a classic episode for me! A rock solid episode that wraps up the end of season seven. Thankfully we get three seasons and Kevin, Bill and Mary Jo get more on screen time in the host segments. Good times are in the future.

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  44. Sitting Duck says:

    For those who couldn’t tell, the booklet Dr. F. flips through is entitled Satellite of Love Owner’s Manual and Maintenance Schedule.

    I like the Starfleet badge Crow wears in the Intro (IIRC Trace was the big Star Trek fan among the Brains).

    The “Are you ready for some football?” riffs got old really fast.

    Mike dressed as Janeway is one of those Brain Bleach moments which occasionally crop up.

    Considering that there’s a scene with Billy being shot at by a guy in a plane, could this be a rewriting of a lost Coleman Francis script?

    Personally, I think Seven Samurai is a bit overrated.

    Favorite riffs

    Gianni Russo! I remember her from… uh, wait a minute.

    Stop reading my thoughts. Are you reading my thoughts?

    Help! A giant bong is attacking me!

    The Army of the Potomac has us on the run, sweetie.

    There! I think I’ve taught you not to rebuff my weiner innuendos.

    We’re going home. The movie isn’t fun anymore.

    They thought the spent plutonium rods would be fine in the trunk.

    Thrill as the police forget something.

    This is like Porky’s without the charm.

    Hold on! Give me a second to get crazy here.

    You may not know this, but I grow my own Mary Jane.

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  45. Creeping-Death says:

    RE #137 Thigh, maybe they didn’t have IMDB in 1996 and didn’t recognize him? I know I’ll sometimes find a guy or girl vaguely familiar on a film and won’t know what I recognize them from until I check IMDB.

    Anyway, I like this episode a lot. 5 stars. The riffing is fast and funny(I think Gizmonic Temp’s site has this as the fastest riffing of a Mike episode). The Eddie Deezen as a dog in the car riffs were funny.

    Favorite lines:

    Crow: Terrible name for laser eye surgery… scares away the customers.

    Mike: Edward CDplayerhands.

    “Are you ready for some FOOTBALL?”

    Mike:(as turtle alien) Good shooting, Xanthar!
    Crow:(as other turnle alien) Thanks, Denise.

    Mike: This is so Coleman Francis right now.
    Crow: “I’m Cherokee Jack!”
    Servo: “Red Zone Cuba III: The Destruction of Cherokee Jack”.

    All the jokes comparing Billy’s lame seventies life to Mike’s

    Billy: A race? I’ll give you a race!
    Crow: Just let me get into my dad’s electric supply van.

    Servo: Ah, the Charlie Daniels Band must have changed their name to “the Charles Band”

    Naughty riff: (Alien is holding up his three fingers) Hey, read between the lines!

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  46. Smoothie of Great Power says:

    My comments remain pretty much unchanged from the last time this one came around, but I did get to use the “Beyond Thunderdome” joke in one of my Let’s Plays. It’s a bit of a stretch with Blastmaster -> Master Blaster -> Beyond Thunderdome, but it was still fun.

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  47. Tom Carberry says:

    You know you’ve gotten involved in a low budget movie when they can’t even spell your name right in the closing credits. Born Roderick Andrew McDowall on September 17, 1928 in London England, he was enrolled in elocution courses at age five and by ten had appeared in his first film, Murder in the Family (1938), playing Peter Osborne, the younger brother of sisters played by Jessica Tandy and Glynis Johns. His mother brought Roddy and his sister to the US at the beginning of World War II, and he soon got the part of Huw, youngest child in a family of Welsh coal miners, in John Ford’s How Green Was My Valley (1941), acting alongside Walter Pidgeon, Maureen O’Hara and Donald Crisp in the film that won that year’s best film Oscar. He went on to many other child roles, in films like My Friend Flicka (1943) and Lassie Come Home (1943) until, at age 18, he moved to New York, where he played a long series of successful stage roles, both on Broadway and in such venues as Connecticut’s Stratford Festival, where he did Shakespeare. In addition to making many more movies (over 150), McDowall acted in television, developed an extensive collection of movies and Hollywood memorabilia, and published five acclaimed books of his own photography. He died at his Los Angeles home, at the age of 70, of cancer.

    Favorite lines:

    [Opening credits] EDDIE DEEZEN Ah, so you know it won’t be funny.
    [Greenfaced guy] The Hulk has lost weight.
    [Turtle aliens] If I could just pass this football.
    Shawn Cassidy in Walking Tall.
    Suddenly I long for a Hal Needham film.
    [ray gun necklace] One of Mr. T’s understated pieces.
    “…not waking people up at the crack of dawn.” Well, that’s where they found Tony Orlando.
    Just what I want to see: David Soul and Sondra Locke going at it.
    When the movie starts showing you parts of its self, you know you’re in trouble.
    Home movies are more tightly edited than this.
    [Dr. Mellon/Roddy] I was in a monkey suit and then suddenly I was in this movie. Dear God “Mrs. Minniver” was a long, long time ago. “How Green was my Valley” was a long time ago.
    This movie is comprised strictly of 2nd Unit footage.
    [Billy in very tight V-neck] Hey, your sister wants her shirt back…Boy camel-toe.
    This [movie] is like Porky’s without the charm.
    [Gas station explodes] I’m thinking this and Roddy McDowall ate up about 90 percent of the film’s budget.
    He insists on bringing his leaf blower everywhere.
    You know Eddie [Deezen] looks like a meerkat. He’s taking Eddie to the vet to get fixed.
    Could Leonard Maltin be wrong and this isn’t worth 2 ½ stars?
    [Guy in VW Bus] You know I should tell you about my ass, gas, or grass policy. He’s like a lucid Dennis Hopper.
    [Cheryl “Rainbeaux” Smith] Wow, she makes Laraine Newman look Rubenesque.

    Final Thought: And so Season 7 limps to the finish line and we close the Comedy Central chapter. I give this one 3 out of 5 stars.

       3 likes

  48. Dan in WI says:

    I forgotten the way they explain the Thunderdome joke as they present it. Okay it isn’t all that funny but after all the joy the Brains have given me over the years I have no trouble allowing them their private joke. Plus I got to use it with while watching a recent episode of Pysch with my girlfriend.

    I’d also forgotten how the Star Trek bit started in the opening immediately after the Umbilicus was cut.

    Trace leaves us with some more excellent puppetry. As he is remarking how hard it is to not use Dukes of Hazard riffs and Mike encourages him not to, Crow just shakes trying to hold it in.

    To settle the “bike rack” discussion from four years ago, it couldn’t have been a reference to camel toe. The riff was shouted out while we are viewing plumber’s butt crack of the bikini girl getting out of the pool. But there is an instance later on when Billy is getting out of the van Crow does point out his boy camel toe.

    The first two in movie host segments sure are random.

    So let me get this straight. Chuck is the cool kid who torments Billy yet he hangs out with Eddie Deezen.

    I think we can all agree that many of the Brains thought that this was the final episode and treated it as such. For a final episode it was pretty good. I spoke last week how I don’t like final episodes because they are so different in feel from a typical episode. This final episode largely avoided that. The opening segments were goofy and you could imagine them happening in just about any episode. The riffing was quite good and really didn’t let the gravity of the situation get in the way or become a subject of the riffing. It is only after Mike and the Bots finish the Leonard Maltin discussion and leave the theater did things get that last episode weird vibe. But even Mike and the Bots turning into pure energy was almost random. But that final sequence in Deep 13 with Dr. Forrester is hard to watch. There is no way for me too look at it and not think I’m loosing something important to me. All good things must come to an end. Fortunately that didn’t turn out to be true (yet) in this case. But at the time we had no way of knowing that. Now with the impending ending of Cinematic Titanic I’m feeling all those same feelings again…

    Trace really put his stamp on his final episode. His name appears several extra times including host segment director in this episode.

    Favorite Riffs:
    Kim Milford’s credit is on screen: Tom “Come on down to Mil Ford. Free Popsicles for the kids.”

    The turtles stalk the first Laserblast guy. Crow “I know what you are thinking. Did I fire six gorlocks or only five?”

    Bocephus takes a hit of mary jane. Crow “Now that I think of it, Sister Mary Elephant is really funny.” [I never cared for that sketch. Then again I’ve never been a stoner.]

    Mike “Pepsi gave them big bucks to place Coke in this film.”

    Bocephus has a strange nauseous look on his face. Tom “I’m not ready for football anymore.”

    Bocephus heads to the rest room. Tom “Watch out thunderbucket. You’re about to meet your greatest challenge.”

    Kathy runs screaming from a transforming Billy. Mike “Why didn’t she do that while she was kissing him?”

    Mike “So I wonder what the flaw was that kept Leonard Maltin from giving this the full three stars.” [A valid question indeed!]

       2 likes

  49. Goshzilla says:

    ARE YA READY FER SOME FOOTBALL!? I, for one, never get tired of it. I guess it helps that I’m already amused by the inherent stupidity of the question. All mah rowdy friends…

    Laserblast would’ve benefitted from 100% less Deezen and much more of the stop-motion aliens. That animation is much better than the rest of the movie deserves. Plus, more time with the aliens would’ve given the Brains more time with them. Every riff with the aliens is a homerun. Or should I say a touchdown? CAUSE AH’M READY FER SOME FOOTBALL!

    As for the 2001 parody/homage/whatever… meh. Doesn’t do much for me. Oh, I get what they’re trying to do, but it just feels off-putting to me. The show was always about gut-busting jokes and breezy wackiness, not turgid shot-for-shot recreations of classic movies. (It doesn’t help that I think 2001 is hugely overrated and that last act is dull, pretentious nonsense…) I get the feeling that Trace wanted to flex some cinegraphic muscles in his swansong; he has said he was getting restless and wanted to try new things. The sequence certainly looks great, but it doesn’t fit the usual tone of the show. I liked the quick nods to (the actual good parts of) 2001 in MTS3K:TM better. Jef and everybody else on the crew did a bell of a job

       7 likes

  50. Goshzilla says:

    … did a hell of a job, though. The whole sequence looks great. (Stupid smartphone. Okay, stupid fat, stubby fingers if I’m honest.

       4 likes

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