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Sampo & Erhardt

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Goodbye Sci-Fi

Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett reflect on MST3K's final broadcast.

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Weekend Discussion Thread: A Better Final Movie?

Again this week, I no longer can find the e-mail that came in with this from an alert reader. To the sender, my apologies. Please feel free to take credit in the comments and feel free to elaborate.

But an e-mail came in saying the the sender never really liked that “Diabolik” was chosen as the very last movie riffed on the show, and wondered if fans could suggest a more appropriate one.

Me, I always felt Zsa Zsa Gabor’s immortal “Queen of Outer Space” would have been a great choice, since it would have made Sci-Fi Channel head honcho Barry Schulman’s goof at the second convention come true.

What would you have picked?

160 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: A Better Final Movie?”

  1. Bob(NotThatBob) says:

    “From Hell It Came” woulda been perfect – it’s classic, and I know Mary Jo Pehl had always wanted them to do it. “Trog” with Joan Crawford woulda been cool, too. But ultimately, I have to agree that actually doing “The Green Slime” would have been a great “full circle” thing to do, and would have made the ending with Mike and the bots watching “The Crawling Eye” in their basement apartment even more poignant than it already was.

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  2. Some Guy says:

    Yeah, I recall some SciFi-era chat where Kevin Murphy said they were going to do From Hell it Came, as well as X the Unknown.

    He mentioned a guy in a tree costume in FHiC, and that sounds pretty fantastic.

    And after they teased re-doing Green Slime in TACEG, that would’ve been neat, too.

    Still– whatever movies they might’ve wanted to do, they were constrained by costs/rights issues. I somehow doubt they had this big wishlist of movies and a master plan each season.

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  3. Some Guy says:

    (It still kind of bugs me that they didn’t do the Gamera movies in any kind of order, for example.)

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  4. Droppo says:

    Existing Season 10 alternatives? Merlin. It was so off the wall and just had everything.

    Any movie? Plan 9.

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  5. Professor Gunther says:

    I rather like the fact that the show ended with a less-than-perfect choice of movies (although I _do_ really like the choices I’ve seen, particularly “Plan 9 from Outer Space”!), since in my view it fit the happenstance nature of the show.

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  6. samurai7 says:

    I’m sorry they never did “Voyage into Space” which was a movie made up of edited clips from “Johnny Sokko and his Flying Robot.” http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0204729/ I mean that sucker deserved everything mst3k could lob at it. :razz:

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  7. Chuck says:

    Sampo, I agree with you 100% re: Queen of Outer Space. Ever since I first saw it at the drive-in, I have loved it.

    It was released on DVD by Warner, and I don’t think they would give up the rights very easily.

    By the way, everyone: if you haven’t seen Queen, you have to! It’s just incredible!

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  8. Fantagor says:

    Frogs. A young Sam Elliot stars in this eco-horror film from 1972. The Road House comments alone would have made this a gem final episode.

    Diabolik simply sucks as the finale. I never cared for the super-spy genre and this super-thief flick just lays there like a rotting alewife.

    Randy

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  9. Fantagor says:

    Oh, and The Green Slime would have rocked. I see #51 mentioned it, too.

    Randy

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  10. ck says:

    I agree about Diabolique. How about they do a”reunion” type of movie (done in the apartment?) with Pearl and Brain Guy popping in to try to abduct them to their respective empires.

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  11. ck says:

    Oh wait, better would be a takeoff on This Island earth, where Mike and the bots (including the head of ConGypsCo) are abducted to save the planets of Pearl and Brain Guy.

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  12. # 45 – Great idea! I was thinking the same thing. But would they riff a pretty good movie that they seem to be fond of, and inspired our favorite cow town puppet show?

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  13. Magicvoice says:

    I’m going to have to go with Godmonster of Indian Flats. Quite possibly the weirdest movie I have ever seen. Would have been a nice crescendo for the show.

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  14. Some Guy says:

    Oh, man. I just realized. I retract everything I’ve posted.

    Blood Hook. That’s what they should’ve done. With Mirror Universe Bobo, Brain Guy, and Pearl in the theater, maybe. Something.

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  15. Josh says:

    I like Diabolik well enough, so I’m not entirely on board with the thread…but if I had to replace it I would make it something a little more poetic, like “Some Guy”s suggestion of Blood Hook, or maybe a riff on The Green Slime.

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  16. DrBlood says:

    Ninja III: The Domination. Or Satan’s Cheerleaders.

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  17. Spector says:

    I’m with those who recommend Plan 9 from Outer Space. Yeah, I know, they resisted doing that one but Mike, Bill and Kevin later did it for Rifftrax so it would’ve been a perfect way to go out by riffing on Ed Wood’s classic.

    I agree with everyone who didn’t like Diabolik as their final film but mind you the cast knew the end was nigh and I just had the feeling in that final season, with a few notable exceptions (Girl in Gold Boots, Future War, Horror of Spider Island) they were mailing it in. But that’s just me.

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  18. mikek says:

    At least Diabolik resulted in a great final stinger.

    “Is that Stud coming?”

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  19. Mike says:

    I think that Diabolik is fine for the last episode, as the last thing seen of the episode is the stinger “My God! Is that stud coming?” A perfect sendoff for the series.

    If I had to choose an alternative it would be “Not of this Earth” (1958). It’s a Corman flick starring many MSTies’ favorite actress: Beverly Garland. It doesn’t stink, but would be a good MST flick all around.

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  20. Mike says:

    Note that I had not read #68 when I posted at #69. Great minds move at the same speed, eh?

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  21. Nutcase says:

    Yeah the stinger was easily one of the best if not the best. Even before I had learned what that freuidian slip ment, I knew it didn’t sound right lol

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  22. big61al says:

    The Green Slime, A*P*E, Frankenstien VS the Space Monster……Blood Hook

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  23. Smog Monster says:

    They should have have done Blood Hook with the short feature TV Wheel :twisted: And maybe if the plot of the last episode was to actually foil the Forrester plot to unleash bad movies upon the Earth, and it appears that they’ve succeeded and they even figure out a way to get back to Earth, a t.v. channel that is identical to the KTMA Deep13 is playing The Green Slime.

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  24. Fart Bargo says:

    A lot of great suggestions and intesting views. I guess if I wanted to design the last episode I would definately start it with the last chapter of Commando Cody serial from season 1. For the rest, see 30 for same reasons.

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  25. piratejoe says:

    Most of the better suggestions have already been made. The only film I can think of that hasn’t been named yet is Night of the Lepus. It wouldn’t be as good as some other suggestions, but I’d love to see that done by somebody.

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  26. Charles says:

    I would have liked Gamera: Super Monster, which is the 80’s Gamera movie that was half recycled footage from the old Gamera movies and features references to Superman: The Movie and Star Wars. It is awful but funny.

    Or they could have reriffed The Crawling Eye to bookend the show.

    I’m not a fan of the choice of Diabolik as the last episode because it just isn’t bad enough. It is at least pretty original (so many MST movies are cheap knock-offs of other movies). It would have been better as a mid-season episode. To me any movie that is worse than Diabolik would have been better. They should have kept something on hand to use as the final episode since it looked like they were going to get cancelled. In fact, the only movie from that season that wouldn’t have been a better choice is maybe Hamlet.

    Mitchell is also kind of a weird episode (since it’s an atypical kind of movie for the show) for Joel’s last one but it worked because the movie is really, really terrible and the show was really funny. Diabolik was funny but it didn’t sing like Mitchell or Laserblast or even The Brain That Wouldn’t Die.

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  27. Mr. B(ob) says:

    A “classic” B-grade science fiction film of the same type as Rocketship X-M or Amazing Colossal Man would have been a better final film to me than the one chosen. Perhaps “Brain From Planet Arous” or “Hideous Sun Demon” or some other truly ridiculous black-and-white film from the 1950s or 1960s would have been more appropriate.

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  28. Fingal Dopple says:

    My Personal Top 5 Choices:

    5. Mac and Me
    4. Kazaam
    3. Howard the Duck
    2. The Giant Claw
    1. Glen or Glenda

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  29. Kevin says:

    If you could transport a current film back in time for them, “Twilight” would have made a fantastic finale (but thank god Rifftrax is here to pick that one up). That said, Troll 2, Plan 9 and Howard the Duck would all have been good choices.

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  30. sebulbajohnny says:

    I just wonder why they didnt do something more sci-fi…

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  31. JeremyR says:

    The Giant Claw would have been a good choice. It reminds me a lot of The Crawling Eye. Not that bad a movie, but just atrocious special effects.

    Indeed, The Giant Claw has the worst special effects I’ve seen in a commercial one.

    Star Crash, another suggestion, would be good. I mean, it’s got David Hasselhoff with a light saber in it.

    My pick though, would be Flash Gordon. It would be a nightmare to get the rights for. But still..

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  32. GizmonicTemp says:

    I’ll echo the idea of riffing something from KTMA.

    It also would have been kind of cool to have an entire show of shorts. That could have meant an additional nine 10-minute shorts! Yay!

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  33. mikek says:

    How about Killdozer?

    Often mentioned in riffs, it’s the movie that was never riffed by anyone.

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  34. dargwag says:

    I agree with some of the other respondees in that “Plan 9 From Outer Space” should have been the last film done for MST3K. Long thought to be the “worst” film ever made, although I don’t agree. I think the only reason that the film has had the staying power is that it has been credited as being “Bela Lugosi’s last film”. We as viewers remember this titan of the horror films of the 1930’s who took roles really only for the money and made those films watchable only because he was in them.

    Some of my other Bela Lugosi choices would be, in no particular order:

    Return Of The Vampire (1943) – Bela Lugosi as a WWII Vampire
    Glen Or Glenda (1953) – The Ed Wood Starter
    Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla (1952) – Makes Plan 9 look like “Citizen Kane”
    Frankenstein Meets The Wolfman (1943) – Lugosi in the famous Universal Makeup and throw in Lon Chaney Jr. to boot.
    White Zombie (1932) – Lugosi towers over the other bad actors in this early zombie film.

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  35. NHCrypto says:

    While I love the Plan 9 idea, there are so many others worth riffing. I second the vote for Yor The Hunter From The Future. Purple cavemen, Reb Brown, bad acting, cheesy effects…this movie had it all going on. And King Solomon’s Mines with Richard Chamberlain and Sharon Stone had enough riffing amunition in it for a 2 part MST3K finale! Megaforce with it’s flying motorcycle would have been great as well, but again, getting the rights might have been impossible.

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  36. mikek says:

    There’s a good reason why Plan 9 From Outer Space was never used on MST3K. I’ve seen it on it’s own and with RiffTrax and it’s just not funny. Yes, it’s incredibly bad, but it’s so conventional in it’s badness as to be uninteresting.

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  37. Big Daddy 320 says:

    I have to say that usually a finally has big twist that nobody saw coming. So, with that in mind, I think they should have riffed a great movie. Say, Casablanca from Ep.822 Overdrawn at the Memory Bank. Or, maybe Citizen Kane. Just an idea that I thought I’d throw out there.

    But, if it has to be a bad movie. Then I would go with The Green Slime. I love that movie on it’s own. Runner up would be Beastmaster. Another favorite of mine.

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  38. mikek says:

    Beastmaster is a good idea. That movie walks the fine line between legitimate fantasy/action and cheap Conan rip-off. It could have also served as a call back to the first Mike episode, where he reviews his riffing training.

    Tom: “Marc Singer comes at you in a thong!”

    Mike: “Uh, now I know why the series was called ‘V’.”

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  39. Green Switch says:

    If they could get the rights to ANY movie?

    “Highlander 2: The Quickening.”

    Outside of that, I’ll go with what #51 & #52 said: “From Hell It Came.”

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  40. asdfa says:

    Green Slime is a wonderfully god awful movie, and a great song. It would’ve been the ideal finale. Rocky Horror also might have worked as a send off, as that’s one of the traditional movies to heckle.

    “Creation of the Humanoids” is a nicely weird low-budget flick with a Dirk Squarejaw type and a plot twist you can see coming from a mile away. Might be good for Cinematic Titanic still.

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  41. Warren says:

    Night of the Lepus, and even though I like this one, Robinson Crusoe on Mars (Adam West has a role in this).

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  42. Green Switch says:

    And personally, I thought that “Diabolik” was a great choice for the series finale – very funny episode.

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  43. Timber says:

    I do have to think “Plan 9” would have been the best to end the series by. Why not save the best of the worst for last? But laying that aside, I think “Wild Women of Wongo” (from the results RiffTrax had with it) would have also worked great. Not to mention all the wonderful ideas listed up to this point. I have to say that although Diabolik was a decent movie for riffing, it just did not have that ‘epic’ bad quality of a Eegah or a Manos…

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  44. Sitting Duck says:

    Watch-out-for-Snakes, here’s another vote against Return to Oz as a target. The negative reviews it received when it was released was due to moron film critics who were only familiar with the Judy Garland musical. Here’s a review which doesn’t suffer from such preconceptions.

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  45. Travis H says:

    THE GREEN SLIME!

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  46. gargonshepard says:

    I would go with Joe Don Bakers “Framed” There is even a nude scene with Joe Don that would be so funny! Plus to end with Joe Don just seems right. My runner up would be the movie “Die Monster Die”

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  47. Edge10 says:

    How about ‘Battle Beyond the Stars’ starring John-boy Walton? It’s a Corman flick so you know it’s gonna be good.

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  48. Dropo221 says:

    Queen of Outer Space–a great suggestion, as are all the other films mentioned above. I would suggest Roger Corman’s Bucket of Blood, which might be a little dark for MST3K. Or on the other end of the spectrum: The Alligator People with Beverly Garland and Lon Chaney, Jr.

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  49. underwoc says:

    Hmm. Something Sci-Fi. Epic – sure! No way to get the rights to Star Wars, or is there? How about the Turkish Star Wars!

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  50. McBoddhi says:

    Personally, I thought Diabolik was a good way to go out. I see many people are mentioning major release films that, although totally unwatchable and perfect for the show, would have been too expensive for the show to air. They could not have afforded the rights to them. I think Chas M (post #13) is on to something, however. They could finally dredge up the worst film ever and it breaks Mike and the bots. They could even have a Prisoner reference and end it in such a way where maybe Mike thinks he escaped — but i t would be uncertain if it actually happened — just the like Fallout from the Prisoner. Maybe “Child Bride” would have been the movie to finally break Mike.

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