Short: (1963) A few scenes from the soap opera “General Hospital.” Nurse Jesse throws the most tense and awkward party ever.
Movie: (1960) Hoodlum and wannabe singer Tony gets his big break, but can’t shake his psycho pseudo-beatnik buddies.
First shown: 11/26/92
Opening: A uncharacteristically mean Joel dominates the bots in a game of rock-paper-scissors
Invention exchange: Troll costumes, pocket pool
Host segment 1: Either you are or aren’t a beatnik
Host segment 2: The bots’ slumber party gets a call from Tony Travis!
Host segment 3: Servo stars in a dramatization of the life of a 50s rock star
End: Crow and Tom go nuts, letter, Mads are a “hot” property
Stinger: Moon gets hysterical
(58 votes, average: 4.14 out of 5)
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• This episode debuted on the Turkey Day 1992 marathon, and was the first new episode to air in two months.
• As noted, Joel is uncharacteristically mean in the opening! Anybody who says Joel was always a father figure to the bots should watch this sketch. (Although he reminds me a bit of MY father a little.) Thankfully, GYPSY CRUSHES JOEL! and we have a happy ending.
• That’s Mary Jo as Magic Voice, for the first time, I think.
• Naughty line: “You got a snooker down there!”
• Fave riff in the short: “This is Pete in props. Don’t eat the cake.”
• During the short, J&TB do probably their best “commercial” for the Booze Council, featuring the classic line: “Booze takes a dull party and makes it better!”
• My recording of this episode is from August of ’93 and features those annoying commedials for the “premature” fall season (which I’d completely forgotten about) as well as commercial for one of the zillions of short-lived Comedy Central shows, “Everything You Need to Know” with an embarrassed-looking Christopher Hitchens. Also annoying: that was the era of Burger King’s reprehensivle “BKTV” spots, featuring the irritating catchphrase “I LOVE this place!” It’s a good thing they make good hamburgers…
• Callback: “Rock candy baby you’re mine, yeah!” (Daddy-O)
• You can hear director/scriptwriter Paul Frees (the voice of Boris Badenov) introducing Eddie when he makes his first TV appearance.
• One of the funniest things about this episode is that all Eddie’s songs have these giant gaps after each line of lyrics, allowing J&TB to insert a riff after every one.
• In segment 2, Tom is wearing what looks like clay on his cheeks. Supposed to be a mud pack or something I guess.
• That’s Mike, of course, as the voice of Tony Travis. “If you’re a bill collector or if you’re with the military…”
• In segment 3, Crow’s wig falls off. They keep going.
• One of the weirdest things about this movie is the casting of the hatchet-faced Joyce Terry (aka “Donald Sutherland in drag”) as Helen, a character that is supposed to tempt Eddie away from the dim-witted, co-dependent Iris, but it’s hard to understand what Eddie could possibly see in her.
• I need to check my ACEG but I seem to recall that “Everything he touched, he destroyed” is supposedly an in-joke by Frank, a reference to something he once said to his brother or vice versa. Somebody will correct me, I’m sure.
• The letter they read at the end is from a kid who got in trouble for calling his mom a “dickweed.” J&TB correctly note that it is NOT a swear word and they’re right … but you still shouldn’t call your mom a dickweed.
• Fave riff: Dish of ice cream! Don’t tempt me!
Leather coat…..
This movie has 622 riffs over 1:13:22 of movie time for an RPM of 8.478, #123 overall. Chronologically, this was an RPM valley for the show.
The dramatization of a 50′s rock star is great and I love how Joel simulates the cliched “spinning newspaper” effect with posterboards and sticks. Truly a testament to the pleasant home-grown comfort of the show. However, he’s so into it that he takes one of them away too fast and we can’t read it!
Leather barrrrr…
Sampo, nothing is funnier than catching some of those great 90′s commercials on my old tapes! “Now you’re playing with power!”
I have to admit I’m embarrassed
This has never happened before
The new Fall Season is coming…
PREMATURE!!!!
I remember those “New Fall Season in July” spots
with Mo Gaffney lip syncing the words.
Also the BKTV commercials. Also from that era:
Mr. Phipps potato crisps. “Tater crisps are crunch-able, Mr. Phipps made them munch-able… with only half the fat-able, we know that you like that-able…”
Arizona Jeans
AT&T commercials voiced by Tom Selleck “Have you ever attended a meeting in your sandals? You will. And AT&T is the company that will bring it to you.”
What the heck is with that tiny dining table in the General Hospital short? It looks like they’re eating off someone’s nightstand.
I have to admit, I sometimes watch old MST episodes as much for the 90s commercials as for the show itself. You gotta love the asinine Mentos commercials, the obnoxious Zima guy, and (my personal favorite) the Playboy ads that ran during the midnight showings. Yeah, nekkid women and puppets: there’s a classic combination.
Just a hilarious episode, due in large part to Mooney. I KILLED THAT FAT BARKEEP! is now in famous, right? It’s like, up there with Play it, Sam and stuff.
I always crack up when Gypsy crushes Joel.
We also get one of the longest running callbacks from this episode. I don’t know in how many episodes from now on we’ll here, “Shut up, Iris, I tell ya, shut up.”
I’m another one who loves it when the mst3k tapes I get from my friends have old commercials in it.
I swear that Mike and the Bots referenced the BK teevee ads in That Brain that Wouldn’t Die. There was a scene where that camera work got all wonky like those commercials, and Crow exclaims, “I LURVE! this place!” and Servo giggles and I swear me mumbles, “BK…”.
Oh right. Beatniks. I didn’t like the way Tony Travis kept on snapping at Iris. It made me sad.
My roommate still goes around quoting “If these people are beatniks, then my mom’s a beatnik, and she’s NOT!” Just something about the way Joel says that cracks me up.
The Beatniks is one of my favorite “teens gone bad” films, mainly because it’s so far over-the-top. We’ve got “Evil Gilligan” Mooney to thank for that, as “I killed that fat barkeep!” is one of the most memorable lines of this season.
Favorite riff: (Tom) “There are a million stupid stories in the naked city, and this is the stupidest.”
Favorite host segment line: (As Tom dies) “Take… My step aerobics class… Every… Tuesday…”
Also: You’re right about the in-joke with Frank and “Everything you touch, you destroy,” but they don’t explain it in the ACEG until their write-up for Episode 515 The Wild Wild World of Batwoman, where Tom says it to Crow during a host segment.
Love this episode in particular for Servo’s riffs on Tom Waits (very appropriate given that he is the ultimate beatnik, among other things). As I recall, he quotes a couple of lines from “Diamonds On My Windshield” and “Friday Left Me Fumbling with the Blues” (that might not be the title, I forget, but it’s the line that’s quoted). Both are songs from one of his early albums, and one of my favorite overall, The Heart of Saturday Night.
Also, 4TH STREET!!! and I love how Joel quickly begins losing steam on the spinning headlines sound effect and just ends up rushing everything, throwing off Servo’s timing.
This ep is one of my favorites.
There’s something about Tom’s “Love wears a mask. A tight leather mask” that makes me laugh to this day.
By sheer coincidence I watched this one last night (I’m transcribing my aging MST3K tapes to DVD before they turn to jelly). There are times I almost care about the characters, then Moon opens his mouth and I wish them all a horrible death. What I want to know is the name of the idiot savant who decided The Beatniks accurately described the rise to stardom of an average pop singer? Deceptive isn’t strong enough.
Two things: 1. Helen isn’t THAT bad looking. Chisel off three layers of makeup and there’s a fine looking dame under there, somewhere. 2. How can you neglect the BEST line of all, Moon telling the hotel manager “I’m gonna Moon ya, man!” Seems slang for hanging your ass out the side window of a car hadn’t been invented yet.
Randy
One last thing: “Everything he touched, he destroyed”.
If I don’t miss my mark, this is from Season Two’s King Dinosaur.
Randy
When Eddie launches into his first song in the diner and Tom croons “Dish of Ice Cream” in one of the gaps, I laughed so hard I peed a little.
Dish of ice cream? Don’t tempt me!
I remember those BKTV commercials too. I used to do an MST-style riff when they came on: “VTKB…I HATE this place!!”
As for Episode #415 The Beatniks (with the General Hospital short): One of my all-time favorite MST3K episodes ever. The “Booze” bit during the short and the “You’re probably not a beatnik if…” skit are classics.
Watched this last night too, weird.
I still want Moon to die horribly and painfully.
Fav riff: “Meet George Jetson.”
I love the sketch where Tom, Crow and Gypsy are acting like teenage girls and call Tony Travis’ house only to find out he’s a washed up loser that works at “The Taco Hell.” Then they all quickly move on to having a crush on the Moon guy. That was sooo me and my friends at age 13 pouring over our teen magazines with Corey Feldman, Duran Duran and Ralph Macchio! If one of our pin-up idols turned up to be a druggie or a loser, we just moved on! The ’80s didn’t have any beatniks, though.
Definitely one of our favorites. Perhaps our favorite of all time.
Man, I haven’t seen this one in ages.
One thing I noticed, though, is that “The Rebel Set” should be called “The Beatniks” and “The Beatniks” should go by the name “The Rebel Set.”
I wouldn’t expect such collusion, but hey, thought I’d put that out there.
Back in that era mooning somebody didn’t mean hanging your butt out. It meant something completely different, although, I don’t know what.
I KILLED THAT FAT BARKEEP!
Shut up, Iris. I tell ya, shut up!
Re: “the hatchet-faced Joyce Terry”
Oh, come on!
I think she’s lovely.
Sure, she’s got a smile like the Joker.
I still think she’s sweet,
esp. compared to Iris, that scag!
The GH short must feature the most UNAPPETIZING cake in the history of cinema!!
I agree with the poster above – “I’m gonna Mooon ya, man!” is probably the funniest line in the film. I remember being disappointed that the riff on it wasn’t that good. Hell, if all three of them just started to bust out laughing after it was said it would have been enough.
Joyce Terry’s looks aren’t the problem – she is just in the wrong decade. She is in no way a platinum blonde bombshell, but would be much more at home with multiple piercings and really short jet black hair. Born punker if ever I have seen one.
Beatniks is something of a fan fav, but just so so for me. The just-ok-ness is odd, because there are so many memorable lines of dialogue within the film as pointed out above by those with better memories than me. Moonie, of course, is a scream and provides the best overall moments.
B
This episode is a hoot. I think you have to be in the right frame of mind when you watch certain episodes, and this one requires differing levels of inebria.
Moon’s screeching rant, as if he’s suddenly bursting through his entire era of puberty all at once, is hysterical. The fact that he’s a killer with a knife, but seemingly posseses absolutely no knife fighting ability, rounds out the character nicely. Kinda answers the question of why he never really used a knife on “The Big Valley”.
First off, I’m surprised by all of the discussion about the commercials in between the show; was I the only one who used the “pause” button to eliminate these annoying distractions?
To me, this was about the time when the show really got rolling, the start of several great episodes in a row. The riffing is top notch, and the movie’s several continuity errors and crazy, over-the-top characters provide plenty of fodder. Mooney, in particular, is right up there as one of the most memorable in MST3K history. Not just the “Fat Barkeep” line, but almost anything coming out of his mouth is funny as hell! Even when he sticks a knife into Harry Bailey, its hilarious because Peter Breck plays the part overdramatically.
The host segments were pretty good, segment four being the best, and the invention exchanges were clever. (My girlfriend at the time loved and collected troll dolls – don’t ask me why – so that bit by the ‘mads is always bittersweet). My fav riff: a patron at the bar turns off the jukebox to hear the TV, to which Joel says, “Eddie Crane, Unplugged!” a reference to the MTV specials which featured popular rock acts of the day playing their songs acoustic.
One more memory: I convinced friends of mine who also watched the show that Tony Travis actually had made a record, and if you looked hard enough it could be found. They spent several of the next months trying to find it in antique stores!
Didn’t mooning mean being all squishy and romantic–as in “mooning” over a girl?
I’m lazy to pick up my dictionary. Maybe I shouldn’t have bought one that’s the size of Torgo’s lumps.
Romantic Ecards To Send A Man…
Send Animated Romantic Ecards…
Corey Feldman wants you know that we need “green, green, green.” The actor/director best known for this childhood movie days opposite actor Corey Haim , has just launched a new recording label called Cifi Records. The first album
Oh, yeah, coming after Tormented, this is more like it! Gawd, but this was a lousy movie, and Joel and the ‘Bots were in great form shredding this one!
Loved the riffing, especially the mocking of the lead’s singing, the constant put-downs of Iris, and that wormy psychotic sidekick who “killed that fat barkeep!” Hilarious. Loved the host segment where they do a sendup of the lead’s signing career. Tom singing “leather chaps” was just so funny. That never gets old no matter how many times I see it.
To this day whenever my wife is teasing me about something all I have to say is “Shut up Iris” and we both dissolve into giggles.
I’d just love to know how Peter Breck feels about his so-called “performance” in this piece of crap. I mean…I’ve seen “over-the-top” characterizations before, but SHEEZ-LOUISE! I’ve always wondered who was to blame…the actor or the director?
While it seems that a lot of others delight in each and every one of Moon’s screen appearances, I can’t help but cringe and shudder every time he steps into frame. It’s nauseating, and for me, just damn near UNBEARABLE to watch.
Love your layout and snooker advice, really helpful! Thank you!!
Sampo noted that you can hear the director (and noted voiceover actor) Paul Frees as the TV announcer who introduces Eddie. If I’m not mistaken, that’s also his voice as the detective at the hospital near the end when Eddie goes to visit his agent. I can’t tell if it’s actually Paul Frees in the scene, but it’s pretty clearly his voice overdubbed onto the scene. In addition to being the voice of Boris Badenov, the thing I always associate Frees’ voice with is the haunted house at DisneyWorld (he’s the “Ghost Host” who narrates the ride).
I’m also glad to read that others enjoy the commercials from back when the shows first aired. When transferring my tapes to DVD, I try to trim out most of the commercials but find myself keeping the Comedy Central promos and commercials for video games and movies of the era, plus anything else that strikes a nostaligic chord. Oh, and the Playboy commercials, of course.