Support Us

Satellite News is not financially supported by Best Brains or any other entity. It is a labor of love, paid for out of our own pockets. If you value this site, we would be delighted if you showed it by making an occasional donation of any amount. Thanks.

Sampo & Erhardt

Sci-Fi Archives


Visit our archives of the MST3K pages previously hosted by the Sci-Fi Channel's SCIFI.COM.

Goodbye Sci-Fi

Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett reflect on MST3K's final broadcast.

Social Media


Episode guide: 1002- Girl in Gold Boots

Movie: (1968) A girl from a rural truck stop goes to Los Angeles to work as a go-go dancer, but soon gets involved with drug dealers.

First shown: April 18, 1999
Opening: Crow explains his WWBSMD bracelet; Pearl has evil plans
Intro: More bracelets; Pearl, seeking board certification from the Institute of Mad Scientists, impresses the visiting inspector
Host segment 1: Crow exacts petty, childish revenge on Mike
Host segment 2: Crow is shakin’ his moneymaker, much to Mike’s dismay
Host segment 3: Mike sings in the rain, causing much havoc
End: The movie has caused M&TB dress like the ugly thug in the movie and chuckle; this fails to impress the inspector — but Brain Guy does!
Stinger: “Oh, God, I wish I had that pretty mind back!”
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (320 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5)

Loading...

• I have to put this one in the “good-not-great” category–despite some excellent riffing and host segments that are more funny than not–and the reason is the movie. This was our only real foray into the grimy, nasty world of director Ted V. Mikels, and once was enough. There are no real protagonists in this greasy little flick. Even Critter, who comes to despise the world he’s landed in, doesn’t seem to be trying very hard to break away. Even the dark and polluted world of “Manos” seems cheerful after this thing. Bleah.
• Paul’s thoughts are here.
• This episode is included in Rhino’s The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection, Vol. 4.
• Despite Paul’s concerns about the mad science story arc, this episode’s opening salvo is actually pretty funny. That’s Paul, of course, as the inspector.
• I love the “I want to give you a hump” bit. Bill plays it perfectly.
• Segment 1 works for me, entirely because of Servo, hand over mouth, going “Ohh!”
• It’s amusing (to me, at least) that beer afficianado Mike is drinking Coors. Maybe he thinks it’s only good for pouring onto bicycle seats?
• Host segment callback: “I didn’t mean to turn you on.”
• This print is chopped to shreds, so much so that it actually starts creating riff material, such as when Buz bilocates into a scene. “I’m back!”
• As a longtime fan of lileks.com, he’s taught me to notice when a movie suddenly becomes an unintentional documentary, as this one does when our trio arrives in 1967 L.A. and they drive around seeing the nighttime sights. I don’t know L.A. well, but I bet folks who do find it fascinating.
• I particularly like Servo’s lyrics about L.A. of that era: “Charles Manson is walkin’ the streets…”
• Speaking of that scene, I’m a collector of weird Christmas songs, and this movie has one: Larry Cartell’s “I’m a Lonely Cowboy Santa.”
• This is another movie that shows a night club with a GIANT space for the floor show. I assure you, real night clubs jammed every table onto the floor they could manage.
• You know that guy who plays Leo? He was married to Judy Garland for two years. I am not kidding.
• I do not want to know what sort of moneymaker Crow is shaking in segment 2.
• I really enjoy Crow’s exuberant dancing in the theater. Note that his arms move a bit!
• The musician who talks to Critter is Chris Howard, the composer of most of the songs in the movie. He seems embarrassed and he should be.
• Segment 3, with Mike singing “Oh, I Am Sad” (music by Mike, lyrics by Paul) as the ship catches fire, is hilarious. And by the way it’s only the first of several fires on the ship this season.
• Whoa! Slam on Lea Thompson outta nowhere!
• There’s a nice moment in the theater when Joanie yells “Get out!” and Crow promptly gets up and leaves.
• The bit in the theater where Mike produces a pool cue and begins playing pool is cute and kinda Joel-esque. Then he says he’s been saving the sight gag eight years. Hmm. Comments like that used to make the a certain faction of this show’s viewers very upset.
• Cast and crew roundup: Director Ted Mikels was also cinematographer for 1967’s “Catalina Caper.” (Makes sense, right?) Sound guy Sam Kopetsky also worked on “Eegah.” (Also follows.) In front of the camera: Jody Daniels was also in “Attack of the the Eye Creatures.”
• CreditsWatch: Directed by Kevin. Intern Nick Prueher returns for one more episode. Additional photography (whatever that means): Kevin Galligan. Prop assistant: Julia Pratt (in just this one episode–either she didn’t work out or she owned a very special prop).
• Fave riff: “Honey! Way to play the harmonica with your ass!” Honorable mention: “Suddenly I like the Allman Brothers!”

220 Replies to “Episode guide: 1002- Girl in Gold Boots”

  1. Kenneth Morgan says:

    For another look at the world according to Ted V. Mikels, there’s “The Doll Squad”, an even more downbeat & poorly made flick. I’m still hoping CT will briefly get back together to do a DVD version of their hilarious live riff of this one.

    And, on Rt. 1 in NJ near Woodbridge Center Mall, for a while there was a restaurant with a big sign marked “EAT” outside. Anyone else know of any real-life places like that?

       2 likes

  2. Shrike says:

    “I’m an icky elf!” kills me and my wife every time.

       3 likes

  3. Smoothie of Great Power says:

    “A girl from rural California…”

    Incorrect. She starts out in either Arizona or New Mexico as the dialogue in the beginning has her giving directions to Critter that California is “right on past Arizona.”

       6 likes

  4. MSTie says:

    I’m in the “good but not great movie” camp, although admittedly I haven’t seen this one in a while and it may have improved (??) with age for my taste. I vividly remember the ’60s and GiGB seemed too dark and depressing; I prefer the sunny, upbeat camp of “Catalina Caper,” fakey and cheesy as that may be.

       1 likes

  5. Sampo says:

    Smoothie of Great Power: Good catch! Thanks! Will fix!

       1 likes

  6. Cheapskate Crow says:

    I think this is maybe the best of season 10, but I am not a big fan of the season as a whole. The riffing is great and the movie definitely deserves it. And thanks @151 Kenneth, I was fortunate enough to see CT’s Doll Squad back in October and didn’t realize it was made by the same guy who made this. Guess I should have though, based on the movies :)

       1 likes

  7. snowdog says:

    I agree that “Good, not great” is a fair assessment of this one. I was sort of enjoying the movie until we pull into LA and meet the greasy bosses. After that, it’s like the movie is all wood paneling and stained ceiling tiles. Strangely, I found myself enjoying a couple of the songs, but if the soundtrack still exists anywhere, Google seems unaware of it.

    Although I’m not a big fan of the accreditation story arc, I still laugh hard when Pearl tries to give Brain Guy a hump. Then she shocks Bobo again and again, but not one Peter Gabriel reference? Here are a couple for consideration:

    “Please Lawgiver, no! I’ll rat on the rat!”
    “OHH! That one knocked me out the trees!”

    The segment with Mike’s song had me craving nachos for the rest of the night.

       1 likes

  8. Clint says:

    You gotta remember – a lot of old school beer aficionados from the Midwest have a soft spot for Coors. For years, it was only available in Colorado, and when someone brought a case back, you felt really cool drinking it.

       3 likes

  9. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    I’m evidently in the minority in having not at all like the host segments on this one. Seriously, there are few episodes whose host segments I liked LESS. Shrug.

    The episode’s okay for what it is, I suppose, but aside from “Hobgoblins,” I can’t right off think of an MST3K film that IMHO came closer to being unable to be salvaged EVEN by riffing. Checking the IMDB, I see several items from the Mikels oevre that IMHO would probably have been more entertaining. Aside from the previously cited “The Doll Squad” (the missing link between “Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!” and “Angels’ Revenge,” I guess), there’s “Blood Orgy of the She-Devils,” “The Corpse Grinders,” and above all “The Astro-Zombies.”

    C’mon, John Carradine, the “drunken” boss from “Agent for HARM,” the doctor from the “Billy Jack” films, the Hispanic guy from the “V” miniserieses, Tura Satana, an actor named “Egon,” and a woman inexplicably strapped to a lab table who has nothing to do with anything?! It’s a bigger missed opportunity than “Night of the Lepus,” I tells ya!

    It even would’ve been a HUGE tie-in with the “mad science accreditation” theme in this particular episode. Oh well.

    Even if the Brains, for whatever reason, had their hearts set on a non-sf/f/h film this time around (I think the fact that this was the final season is why the Sci-Fi Channel “allowed” them to use this film and the season’s other non-sf/f/h entry “Final Justice”), “Ten Violent Women,” “Alex Joseph and His Wives,” and “Strike Me Deadly” all sound, to me, at least marginally more entertaining than what we get here. So it goes.

    For those interested, “The Astro-Zombies” is described in detail here:

    http://jabootu.net/?p=1183

    As I’ve mentioned when previously linking to this review site, the reviewer is IMHO a total jerk but, credit where it’s due, he’s an *informative* and *entertaining* jerk, so there’s that, anyway.

    Coincidentally enough, he also tackled our current subject:

    http://jabootu.net/?p=575

    Which he describes as “one of [his] favorite Bad Movie genres: the Show Biz Expose.” Meaning that “Girl in Gold Boots” is, like the likes of “Teenage Crime Wave” and “High School Big Shot,” the mere tip of a genre iceberg whose full extent will surely never be measured, much less riffed. Try wrapping your minds around that one…

       2 likes

  10. Ah yes, the adventures of Icky Elf and Yak Boy. . .

    This is another solid and great episode from Season 10, it’s just too funny and weird! I’m glad they (the Brains) were able to riff on a movie like this (a greasy Ted V. Mikels production) before the show was cancelled. I like a little genre variety in my MST and Season 10 provides it.

    Girl in Gold Boots is sweaty and gross in a lot of ways, but these factors just give Mike and the Bots that much more to riff on and work with. The movie has multiple memorably bad moments and characters, from the non-sync dancing to the “I had a pretty miiiiind,” to Critter and his guitar to that “young kid,” Buzz.

    The riffing is solid and the movie is strangely watchable (if just for the, “can-you-believe-this?”-ness of it), which leaves the Host Segments, which are a mixed bag. The Opening with Crow’s WWBSMD bracelet is mildly funny and Pearl’s application to the Mad Scientistry board or whatever is less so, but I do like the “hump” interaction with Brain Guy, as well as in the Ending Segment where Brain Guy does his “dance” for the Inspector (played gamely by Paul), which is appropriately creepy.

    The Host Segments proper are better. The joke in HS#1 with the beer pouring isn’t that funny, but I like Crow and Servo’s dress and impressions. The Go-Go Crow dance in HS#2 is a classic segment from the Sci-Fi years, and Mike does a mild bit of swearing as he enters the scene (“What the hell is going on here?!!”). HS#3 has a clever joke and the execution is perfect. I approve.


    My contribution to the “restaurants that have EAT signs” conversation: On I-5, about an hour north of Portland, OR (or two hours south of Seattle, if you want) there is a rest-stop restaurant in Toldeo, WA that is called Mrs. Beesley’s, but the name proper is overshadowed by the giant EAT sign that sits atop the building (Google it, if you want). Friends and I got stuck there once due to car troubles, that’s how we found it, and now when I head north on I-5, I usually like to stop in for a greasy good burger. No jukebox in the building, though…

    Fun Fact: Director Ted V. Mikels, who also directed Astro-Zombies, The Corpse Grinders, and The Doll Squad, once lived in a castle in Glendale, California for a period of time with a harem of live-in strippers and girlfriends. He referred to them as his “Castle Ladies” and avoided using the term “polygamy,” as the relationships weren’t always sexual in nature. Friends are quoted as saying, “Ted just loved women.” So keep that in mind the next time you watch Girl in Gold Boots. ;-)


    RIFFS:

    Servo: “Sorry we shot you back there, Mr. Hopper.”

    Crow: “Let’s go back to law school. We’re terrible bikers.”

    Crow: “Hell’s Pusses.”

    Buzz teleports into the scene,
    Servo: “I’m back!!”

    Crow: “I’m an icky elf.”

    Servo: “I’m a crummy Critter.”

    Servo: “Stacey Keach!”

    Mike: “This is from the L.A. Skank collection.”

    Servo: “Really, I’m very strung-out and in need of some mary-jane or reefer.”

    Mike: “He’s just a kid, be careful!”

    movie: “He has no way to finger you. Not without my help.”
    Servo: “Since you’re wearing that jumpsuit.” ——–Quite possibly the filthiest, naughtiest riff they’ve ever done on the show! :shock:

    Mike: “Here’s a puzzler: which one of these two are worse at their art form?”


    Girl in Gold Boots,

    I give it 4 out of 5 PRETTY MIIIIIINDS!!!!

       4 likes

  11. pondoscp says:

    I too did not like this episode when I first saw it. But after my viewing last week, I have come to appreciate it much more. I think watching the episodes in order has helped me enjoy it more. Girl In Gold Boots is a nice throwback to early episodes like Sidehackers, Wild Rebels, and Beatniks. Plus the host segments have returned to the mad scientist form, which I really like. Season 10 is my favorite of the Sci-Fi era. After a bumpy start, where the Brains were forced into altering the show, they’re finally settling back into the formula that made us fall in love with the show in the first place. Many classic episodes coming up, including what I feel to be the worst episode ever (no, not Hamlet). Just as the show was getting it’s bearings back, cancelled. Oh well, it wasn’t the first time that happened. And now we have Rifftrax! Goes to show you can’t keep a good riffing team down.

       3 likes

  12. schippers says:

    I don’t really remember this movie much, not having viewed this episode in a long time, but isn’t it basically just Showgirls?

       2 likes

  13. thequietman says:

    I think this was one of the first episodes I got on DVD. I was so glad that with the show leaving the air I was finally able to get Sci-Fi era episodes. But what else can be said about this dark, grimy little movie? Well, here’s two things, from the “pretty miiiinndd!” scene:

    Mike: Wow, she put on seven pairs of false eyelashes without noticing!
    [After whatshername faints]
    “Get that stuff off the sofa!”
    Servo: Scrape it off – steam it – you better just boil the couch!

       1 likes

  14. Terry the Sensitive Knight says:

    Is it wrong that I actually like Finley ‘Critter’ Jones? He’s one of my favorite MST characters.
    Leo, on the other hand, has got to be the oiliest man ever put to film. Only the cast of Attack of the The Eye Creatures rivals him.

    Also, I can’t get enough of that Get Smart-esque music. “Sounds like Max and 99 should be sneaking around outside.” Classic.

       7 likes

  15. Cornjob says:

    “Whatever White People”.

       8 likes

  16. Depressing Aunt says:

    Another comfort episode. I think Pearl’s stiff announcement of the movie is a hoot (she should’ve watched one of those “How to Make a Speech” shorts), also Brain Guy’s 3D House of Horror-style hand-off of the movie. “Oh, I Am Sad” is great, capping off with the music continuing to play over commercial sign after Mike abandons his guitar.

    Are Crow’s boots made of wood, or what?

    I’ve watched “Amadeus” many times, because it was my favorite movie when I was younger. So these lines always stand out to me–
    Mad Scientist: You’ve shown us something…quite new!
    Pearl: It IS new, isn’t it?

    Mozart has this exact same exchange in his film.

    Hey, my butt’s drunk! (Huh?)

       4 likes

  17. Ator In Flight says:
    April 29, 2010 at 12:20 pm

    Happy Birthday Ted Mikels. I’ve seen Girl in Gold Boots and Astro Zombies. 2 for 2 on being some of the worst movies I’ve ever seen…

    I first saw Astro Zombies back in high school on the local late-night “Creature Feature”, and it had to be one of the funniest (unintentionally) movies I’d ever seen. John Carradine playing a mad scientist (as in Unearthly), Wendell Corey slurring his way through the movie, and bangin’ hot Tura Satana rockin’ some wicked-assed dresses. To this day, I’m amazed that it managed to escape the clutches of MST3K — and Cinematic Titanic, and RiffTrax.

    So, when I saw Experiment 1002 for the first time, the instant Ted V. Mikels’ director credit appeared on the screen, I just knew it was going to be absolutely wretched — and, of course, by that I mean “awesome”. Ted V. Mikels came through again.

    Just one question, though… in the “teleportation” scene in the diner, are we absolutely sure that was a bad splice in a damaged print, or bad continuity/editing? The reason I ask is that the jump-cut “teleportation” isn’t accompanied by the usual weird soundtrack glitch that you usually hear — like the bad splices in the godawful print they used in Racket Girls, which inspired some of the greatest riffing I ever heard them do.

       2 likes

  18. Terry the Sensitive Knight says:

    For me, one of the reasons “Oh, I Am Sad” works so well is for pretty much the same reason the “Are You Happy In Your Work?” sketch does, in that it comes -immediately- after the movie segment.

       4 likes

  19. spap oop says:

    @ post 158. The whole plot of Smokey and the Bandit was about Coors and interstate lines. Or Something.
    Half of one of my 80’s sweethearts address is on a Coors can. Golden CO 80401.

       2 likes

  20. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    #167: Well, if Buzz actually COULD teleport, I guess that qualifies the movie as sf/f/h after all. ;-)

    #169: Per Wikipedia (so, you know…): “At the time…Coors was unavailable east of Texas due to a lack of state alcohol distribution permits. Unauthorized transportation of Coors across state lines was considered “bootlegging”.”

    And that wasn’t the *whole* plot, of course. Buford T. Justice neither knew nor, probably, would’ve cared about the eighteen-wheeler hauling the illegal cargo; he was after the arrogant mustache guy in the Trans Am, period.

    Apropos of nothing except that it’s a Burt Reynolds factoid which I found memorable, per Scott von Doviak’s book “Hick Flicks,” while making “The Cannonball Run” (1981; “C’mon, Mike, think Adrienne Barbeau!”) — a film which, among other things, depicted kidnapping and drugging a woman as good clean fun — Reynolds, upon learning of a prospective scene in which the Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr. characters (Jamie Blake and Morris Fenderbaum, respectively, aka the two guys dressed as priests, if anybody cares) would find themselves in the middle of a KKK rally while driving through a southern town — presumably to the ultimate detriment of the KKK members — allegedly kiboshed the scene; Reynolds supposedly told the producer: “That’s my crowd, that’s my audience! Forget it!” :-|

       2 likes

  21. Depressing Aunt says:

    Thanks, Sitting Duck (149)–this movie passes the Bechdel Test…

    It’s sort of funny to think that this movie is the progressive one. The girls in gold boots had Sistah Power! :D

       1 likes

  22. Cornjob says:

    This is an odd film. It starts out as a sleazy half baked road trip movie which then crashes into a sleazy half baked crime caper that 2 of the 3 main characters aren’t even involved with. The episode is one of those that is better than I often remember it being.

    In some circles refusing to fight in a war is considered a morally courageous act. Did Critter even think of that. It could have been a good excuse even if he was motivated by fear before he found the inner strength to be willing to kill strangers because an authority figure told him to.

    The fact that a movie like this passes the Bechdel Test proves in my mind that the test is more of a curiosity that a meaningful barometer. Not only does it have nothing to do with whether a film is good or not, but if two of the female characters in Hobgoblins had shared a word about coffee would that have made the movie gender progressive? And I think it would be easy for a movie that for a movie about two guys talking like “My Dinner with Andre” possibly to have a progressive attitude and still miserably fail the Bechdel Test. Not that I mind it being mentioned here. It can spark some interesting discussions. But I find it curious that in some places (one Scandinavian country is making the Bechdel Test part of their movie rating system) there is the attitude that a movie is automatically better by virtue of having passed it.

       6 likes

  23. JC says:

    Hey, they have tacos.

       2 likes

  24. Sitting Duck says:

    The point of the Bechdel Test I believe is if the writer(s) can manage to make the script not constantly be about the male characters.

       3 likes

  25. bad wolf says:

    Maybe we can retire the Bechdel-test-o-meter after this go-round of the shows.

       3 likes

  26. Dan in WI says:

    Bad Wolf #175> Are you sure we can retire the test? What if a movie suddenly changes since the last time we viewed it? Don’t we have to stay on top of that? :-D

       3 likes

  27. ghlbtsk says:

    I may have missed the reply window for this go around, but I have a question.
    The Rhino DVD has a 30-second song playing during the menu screen that is not in the movie. This little song has somehow become a prominent part of my life due to the fact that:
    1) On first viewing, when the movie ended it automatically went back to the menu screen and I inadvertently left it looping for 2 hours while I did chores. Then a strange thing happened. After about 30 minutes this little half-minute loop kept getting funnier and funnier, to the point where after 1 1/2 hours I was laughing so hard I nearly asphyxiated. Then I started to get scared of it.
    2) Later, I ripped the audio into a 20 minute mp3 and woke up to it every morning laughing my ass off.
    3) An irritating neighbor always played his music too loud. On a weekday I knew he’d be home, I cranked up my stereo and played this on a loop ALL DAY. When I got home he stormed up to me and I braced for impact, but instead he yelled “OK I get it! I’ll turn my music down!”

    Does anyone know who does the song? I’m assuming it is a mass-produced royalty-free clip, but I’ll be damned if I don’t start ponying around the room with lovely/terrifying sax melody stuck in my head every now and then.

       6 likes

  28. John Seavey says:

    I appear to be in the minority, but I love the movie as well as the riffing and host segments. It’s just so hilariously inept at depicting what it wants to be about; Buzz is supposed to be a hardened criminal and an amoral thug who draws the others into a well of vice and sin, but his idea of “vicious revenge” is dumping beer on someone’s bike seat and he always looks like he’s about to be pantsed by the other gangsters. Critter’s dark secret is treated as a shocking revelation (“A draft dodger? YOU?”) when it was actually pretty common among the counter-culture that was the film’s target audience. And the seedy club is just trying too hard. Put it all together and you have this glimpse into a shocking hell of exploitation and crime that feels like an afterschool special put together by people who’ve only heard of both things. :)

    And the host segments are perfect. “Have I told you that you are most beloved to me?” “I think you’re uncomfortable acknowledging Crow as a sexual being.” “Mike, what we need you to do is to get out of that section of the ship!”

    And the riffs. The great ones are probably taken, but I’ll name one I haven’t seen yet. “By the way, I reproduced asexually while I was out.”

    Great movie, a regular in my rotation.

       4 likes

  29. Savvy says:

    This one became a quick favorite for me.

    – “What Would the World Wide Wrestling Federation, Woodrow Wilson, Wet Willy, Wesley Willis, Wade Wilson, William Wilder, Wendy Watzerstein, Walt Winbin, Willy Wonka… Do?”
    – I like Paul Chaplin’s note-taking as Pearl tries to get certified.
    – I really dig this ’60’s Girl in Gold Boots music!
    – Crow: “Those are street shoes out on the gym floor!”
    – Crow: “El Cabong is stalking them!” Yeah, Quickdraw McGraw!
    – So, what exactly did Buzz see in Michelle?
    – Mike: “Hey, they have tacos!”
    – A very cute idea for Host Segment 1.
    – Crow: “Ooh, he slips off the babushka!”
    – Tom: “I’m back!”
    Mike: “Anybody notice that I’m here now?”
    Crow: “C’mon! I just teleported here! It’s impressive!
    – The dune-buggy looks like a Banana Splits mobile.
    – “There goes-”
    Mike: “You can say that a-”
    Crow: “What a-”
    – “I’m good at dancing.”
    Crow: “Compared to Stephen Hawking!”
    – “Good luck, yack boy.”
    Crow: “Thanks, alpaca man!”
    Mike: “Roadkill, wait!”
    – I absolutely love Crow’s dancing! Mike’s reaction is great, too.
    – Crow: “Man, it’s getting dark. Ah, no wonder!”
    – Tom’s impression of the girls’ laughing is hilarious.
    – Mike: “Good luck with your addiction, bye!”
    – Crow: “Look at these hippies! GET A HAIRCUT!”
    – Funny how a guy named Critter is the smartest and most sensible person in this movie. And, according to the man himself, he’s a college dropout. Not that all college drop-outs are dumb, or anything…
    – Michelle popping in and out of Critter’s song is hilarious, and Mike and the ‘Bots only add to the ridiculousness.
    – The parody “I Am Sad” is fantastic! Like Critter, Mike is lip synching and fake-strumming the guitar. The ‘Bots popping in and out make it even better!
    – Mike: “Man. Y’know, if you’re the town drunk of L.A, you’ve got problems.
    – He’s so young. So very young.
    – Crow: “I reproduced asexually while I was out, sir.”
    – Tom: “Well, what can you expect? He’s just a CHILD.”
    – Poor Crow leaves the theater briefly as the druggie screams “GET OUT!”
    – Tom: “Honey, way to play the harmonica with your a$$!”
    – Say what you will, but Brain Guy dances better than all the girls in the movie!

       1 likes

  30. Yeti of Great Danger says:

    Cornjob:
    The fact that a movie like this passes the Bechdel Test proves in my mind that the test is more of a curiosity that a meaningful barometer. Not only does it have nothing to do with whether a film is good or not, but if two of the female characters in Hobgoblins had shared a word about coffee would that have made the movie gender progressive? And I think it would be easy for a movie that for a movie about two guys talking like “My Dinner with Andre” possibly to have a progressive attitude and still miserably fail the Bechdel Test. Not that I mind it being mentioned here. It can spark some interesting discussions. But I find it curious that in some places (one Scandinavian country is making the Bechdel Test part of their movie rating system)there is the attitude that a movie is automatically better by virtue of having passed it.

    I know this gets brought up a lot, but I never think of the Bechdel Test as a marker of whether a movie is “good” or not. It’s merely calls attention to whether or not the female characters can talk to each other and not just to men, and whether they can talk about anything BUT men. Imagine if in many old movies, the male characters only talked about women — not the plot, not danger, not themselves, not machines, not their jobs, nuthin’. Would be weird, huh?

    Anyway, I agree with the “good but not great” assessment for GIGB. It’s OK, not one I watch often for guaranteed laughs.

    And by the way, I think my husband has finally come over to the MSTie side. After not being interested in the show at all for decades, a tiny breakthrough was made a couple of years ago when we went to the Rifftrax theater release of “Sharknado” and he liked it. But he still wasn’t much for watching riffing at home. Lo and behold, the other night out of the blue he said, “I feel like watching something funny. How ’bout an MST?” You could have knocked me over with a feather. I chose “I Accuse My Parents,” and when it was over he said that was the worst (in a funny way) movie he’d ever seen. Told him there was basically a female version, “The Violent Years,” so we watched that too. Then he said, “No, THAT was the worst movie I’ve ever seen!” :-D Life is good.

       9 likes

  31. goalieboy82 says:

    and Donald “Duck” Dunn is in the Band.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ps7W4M_A1j0

       1 likes

  32. jay says:

    COWBOY SANTA –

    How did I miss that song for all these years! “The boys get holsters and six guns, and the girls get something something something” (I couldn’t understand, but it wasn’t firearms you can bet). Why isn’t this gem of seasonal sexism not a regular holiday standard? Yeehah! Thanks for highlighting it, Sampo!

       2 likes

  33. thequietman says:

    Look, something!

    Good, not great? I suppose I can agree with that, but this episode is still fun and always makes me laugh. Host segment 1 is classic all on its own and despite the movie’s repetitive dancing scenes there’s enough weirdness, ineptness and grossness to keep one engaged clear through to the end.

    By the by, the girls in ‘Cowboy Santa’ get ‘a hobby horse to ride’. :)

    More fave riffs:
    Oh yeah, front page of the LA Times: ‘$40 robbery, nobody hurt’!

    ‘She’s old hat, with the customers…’
    She’s a straw boater?

       3 likes

  34. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    bad wolf:
    Maybe we can retire the Bechdel-test-o-meter after this go-round of the shows.

    “We”?

    *WE* don’t perform it. Sitting Duck performs it.

    It is Sitting Duck’s prerogative to perform it or to decline to perform it.

    It is NOT your or anyone else’s prerogative to expect Sitting Duck to conform/limit his or her behavior to your or anyone else’s standards.

    Please try to understand that. TRY.

    (even if bad wolf’s not around any more, the point remains valid)

       6 likes

  35. GareChicago says:

    “Eat”.

    “And here we are at Drink, Boink, and Regret.”

    Gare

       5 likes

  36. Joe Boltonn says:

    This is reportedly one of Mike Nelson’s favorites (therefore making it one of EricJ’s least favorites). As it IS a Christmas movie, it’s one of our odd holiday pics, along with “Christmas Evil” and “Die Hard”. It’s the most watchable and entertaining of Ted V. Mikel’s movies (that’s not hard to be…) Astro Zombies, Corpse Grinders and Blood Orgy of the She Devils are quite dull. This one is pretty watchable even unriffed and uncut (Amazon Prime). Good cast:
    Lesley Mcray: Former beauty queen, now an senior citizen. Born again and a 2016 Ted Cruz supporter; Her IMDB quote: “It’s not a yacht unless you can land a helicopter on it.”

    Jody Daniels: Critter-Also appeared in “Attack of the The Eye Creatures” (“man in diner”); He retired from show business after failing to make a good bucket of suds;

    Tom Pace: Also in Astro Zombies, a native of Yugoslavia, which might explain his accent;

    Mark Herron: Played the greasy, “Larry Tate”-style crime boss. Ex-husband of Judy Garland. L.T.C. of character actor Henry Brandon (“Barnaby” in “March of the Wooden Soldiers”, “Scar” in “The Searchers”).

    Bara Byrnes: (“Pretty mind”). Currently marketing a documentary on her life as a Hollywood hottie.

       7 likes

  37. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    SAMPO: Even Critter, who comes to despise the world he’s landed in, doesn’t seem to be trying very hard to break away.

    Oh, now, lots of people just get all the-heck-with-it and accept the droppings life offers. I’m not sure he had a particular destination to begin with, and someone had to clean the place. Besides, he was mostly staying around for Michelle’s sake, wasn’t he? Their big Oscar-moment dialogue indicated as much.

    SAMPO: This is another movie that shows a night club with a GIANT space for the floor show. I assure you, real night clubs jammed every table onto the floor they could manage.

    Oh, you assure us, do you? So you visited every extant night club in 1968 to confirm this, that’s what you’re asking us to believe?
    ;-)

    SAMPO: I do not want to know what sort of moneymaker Crow is shaking in segment 2.

    Well, it’s made of molybdenum, how much money can it be making?

    torgo367:
    I’ve actually come to love the music by the band in the movie.Does anyone know where I can find it to buy or download? I’ve had absolutely no luck!

    You’re SURE not finding it has been unlucky? ;-)

    I’m Evil:
    Along with Sampo’s note of the women in strip clubs, most of the crowd at Leo’s party looks like they just moseyed in after finishing their a PTA meeting.The fact that anyone could enjoy bongo playing is as strong an anti-drug message as I can fathom.

    Anti-drug in its very accuracy of depicting drug use as something just anyone would do. Makes you cool? Uh-uh.

    I’m Evil:
    I swear Paul is using a rubber cane along with his mad scientist get up.

    You mean he was about as funny as a wooden crutch? ;-)

    I’m Evil:
    “Way to play harmonica with your ass!”–a tad crude

    I would be very surprised to learn that no one in real life has gone to the trouble of learning to do that.

    Finnias ‘Critter’ Jones:
    Quoted from Mighty Jack’s Forum:
    “It seems the Sci Fi network didn’t want to show Michele smoking a joint at the party. So they showed slowed down footage of the bongo players instead, and put the voiceover riffs on top of that. Rhino’s version shows Michele smoking the hippy lettuce”

    You mean the Wacky Tobaccy, the Mary Jane, the Jokey-Smokey?

    Johnny Ryde:
    Just like Tommy Wiseau’s The Room a major character shaves his beard for no reason…

    I just presumed it was sort of a dress-code thing.

    Johnny Ryde:
    “I can’t go out with you because I’m considerably bigger than you.”

    Something Nancy Archer had to tell many guys…

    Johnny Ryde:
    During the Harry Blatz introduction, the main gangster says about Icky Elf that he “blew in last night from back East.”Last night?So the main action of the film took place in one night/day…?!?!?!He got into drug dealing, Critter shaved his beard and got a job, Angelina Jolie auditioned and spend at least two nights dancing (one on the line, and one as the star) in a single day/night?

    Time stands still in The Haunted House…

       3 likes

  38. Lisa H. says:

    Yeti of Great Danger: I know this gets brought up a lot, but I never think of the Bechdel Test as a marker of whether a movie is “good” or not. It’s merely calls attention to whether or not the female characters can talk to each other and not just to men, and whether they can talk about anything BUT men.

    Yeah. It isn’t meant to be a “meaningful barometer”. It’s like a thought experiment to make a point about how easy it is to clear that bar, and yet so many pieces of media do not manage it.

       5 likes

  39. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Incidentally, folks, regarding one of the major current balks: Sometimes people go to NIGHT CLUBS which JUST HAPPEN to feature strip shows.

    Johnny Ryde:
    “I reproduced asexually while I was out, sir.”

    That riff kind of seems more suited to Leo and his doppelganger…

    Ator In Flight:
    Great episode,solid riffing and all the host segments are funny. Mike’s song is a classic and I have to say Bill is a better dancer than anyone in the movie.

    As Crow or as Brain Guy? ;-)

    Dark Grandma of Death:
    I too enjoyed the host segments, and in particular liked the interaction between Pearl and Paul’s Mad Scientist Accreditor.Pearl’s whining at the end was very funny all on its own – and then to have Observer dancing as well….wow!

    I don’t think Pearl is funny. I don’t think whining is funny. You can probably guess my opinion of Pearl’s whining. ;-) As ever YMMV.

    M “And Special THANK To EAT” Sipher:
    I love, love, LOVE the entire Pearl-gets-reviewed bit. Her read of the movie announcement, complete with script-read stilted “mad scientist laughter” and ending the statement with a questioning tone as if to say “was that okay?” is wonderfully done. I love how casual Pearl can be in her cruelty under normal circumstances, but how stilted and lame she gets when someone’s watching the ridiculous experiment.

    Pearl couldn’t be casual with Mad Science Guy. He had authority/power over her.

    Fart Bargo:
    Wow, what a bunch of greasy bad guys, literally. Leo and his look alike aide remind me what the Super Mario Brothers would look like if they were “made” men!

    Using the Mario reference as a springboard for a bit that otherwise has nothing whatsoever to do with anything whatsoever:

    This guy. Fighting monsters. Underground. In THAT outfit. He was a Super Mario Brother before there were The Super Mario Brothers…

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073031/mediaviewer/rm453128960

       1 likes

  40. Speedy B. says:

    “Keep your silver bra filled with breast!”

       2 likes

  41. bartcow says:

    If you get obsessed like I do about behind the scenes stuff/memorabilia/soundtracks and other ephemera related to MSTied movies, this blog had a 6-part run about 6 years ago (so apologies if some of the links don’t work), including some of the “fantastic” “songs” heard in the movie:

    http://mylittleundergroundblog.blogspot.com/search/label/girl%20in%20gold%20boots

    I don’t know much about LA…at all, really, but I did get excited to see that The Haunted House was the nightclub they ended up at, as I had also acquired a live album by Charles Wright and the 103rd Street Band that was recorded there the same year.

       2 likes

  42. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    BTW, judging from the number of likes one of my recent posts (in another thread), there are at least 12 commentators in this forum aside from me. And I’m guessing at least one more, the guy whom I was addressing in said post, thus 14. So there’s that, anyway.

    Smoothie of Great Power:
    * Favorite Line: “Prepare for my maddest madness yet. Ha ha hahahaha…”

    Eh. Dr. Forrester did it better.

    Smoothie of Great Power:
    You know, after seeing Racket Girls, this one really isn’t all that bad.

    I would’ve said just the opposite. Berto Scalli and Joe the sidekick would’ve given this film some CLASS…

    Raptorial Talon: Anyone else confused how the movie goes from Christmas carols to the drug delivery on the “second a’ May” to “he just blew in last night from out east?” I guess the implication is that the protagonists were under the greasy pusher’s employ for not just a few days but for about four months, and that said greasy pusher is willing and able to lie through his teeth at the drop of a pin.

    “Never tell the truth when a lie will do.” — attributed to Elim Garak

    Raptorial Talon: Well, there’s no rain in space.

    No, wait, Mike once said “there’s very little weather in space” but he never said that there was none at all. ;-)

    NormalView82:
    The riff that sticks out most for me is:
    Critter: “I’ll take ten Hershey bars.”
    M&TB: Tin Hershey bars? Those are hard to eat.

    What was the deal there, anyway? Was Critter stocking up on international currency for a trip to The Great Depression? If so, he should’ve been on the lookout for nylons, too. In which case what a stroke of luck that he ended up working at a strip club…

    CG:
    “Well, he’s just lost his ‘conscientious objector’ status!”

    The thing is, if he’d received conscientious objector status, he wouldn’t have been considered a draft dodger, so that riff kind of disregarded one of the movie’s few plot points. Shrug.

    This Guy:
    Critter, meanwhile, is touted as an undiscovered talent in songwriting, but most of his songs are just proto-emo bull**** that wouldn’t fly in a community-college poetry class.

    Well, nowadays, yes, but in 1968…?

    This Guy:
    In the same vein as “40 Dollar Robbery; No One Hurt” making the front page of the L.A. Times, we have Critter’s assertion that dodging the draft in the late 60s will make him one of the FBI’s Ten Most Wanted.

    Actually, I kind of think Critter was just engaging in deliberate exaggeration/sardonicism. Although the FBI did go through some weird priority shifts in the 1960s…

       2 likes

  43. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    I’m Evil:
    The guy appears in approximately three scenes and basically plays three different characters.When he confronts Buz (in the filthy alley adjacent to the suburbs), he’s kind of big and menacing; when he meets Leo he comes off as a street smart con; and at the prison he appears to be a helpless old guy.

    So you’re saying that he modified his demeanor in accord with circumstances. I think that’s called “acting”…
    ;-)

    Richard the Lion Footed:
    “this movie presents us with the idea that women frequent strip clubs”

    This did seem to be a common theme in “pre-feminist” movies.
    You saw it also in “The Brain that Wouldn’t Die,” most of the SWV catalog, and even “Breakfast at Tiffany’s.”

    Was this an acceptable “date night” destination int he 50s and 60s?

    Oh, “acceptable,” what’s “acceptable”?

    “Wait a minute! This is the fifties! Why am I [justifying my choice of dating venue] to a woman?! Get in the car!”
    ;-)

    JCC:
    ““Fred Burroughs” from Future War, the mystery character who never appears. He gets mentioned in one scene as if he figured importantly in the plot, but is never referred to either before or afterwards.”
    =================================
    Fred is the black halfway house-huge guy who later gets eaten by a dinosaur.

    Fred didn’t get et. He turned up later with Ann while recruiting the gang bangers.

    fathermushroom:
    Am I the only one who’s noticed the IDENTICAL TWINS at the dope party?Two balding men in dark suits.One of them gets a sheer hanky draped over his head by Michele as she “dances.

    How could that have NOT gotten a callback to “Hired! Part Two”?!

    robot rump!:
    i keep thinking Buzz wasn’t really a true cinematic bad guy

    You saw how he killed a guy, right?

    Sitting Duck:
    Favorite line from the host segments: “So, your experiment caused them to dress as Armenian mobsters and giggle.”

    Armenian?

    Dan in WI:
    Critter “All I know is I have to find a hole to hide in so they can’t find me.” Tom “Try Courtney Love.”

    Okay, maybe it’s just me but implicitly or explicitly calling any woman “a hole” strikes me as TOTALLY uncalled for…

       1 likes

  44. littleaimishboy says:

    Okay, maybe it’s just me but implicitly or explicitly calling any woman “a hole” strikes me as TOTALLY uncalled for…

    ummmm …

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hole_(band)

       4 likes

  45. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    littleaimishboy: ummmm …
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hole_(band)

    Okay. Never heard of it before. My bad. Thanks.

    Watch-out-for-Snakes:
    Fun Fact: Director Ted V. Mikels, who also directed Astro-Zombies, The Corpse Grinders, and The Doll Squad, once lived in a castle in Glendale, California for a period of time with a harem of live-in strippers and girlfriends.He referred to them as his “Castle Ladies” and avoided using the term “polygamy,” as the relationships weren’t always sexual in nature. Friends are quoted as saying, “Ted just loved women.”

    Some directors write books about how to make films. Maybe Ted Mikels should’ve written a book about how to make a living arrangement like THAT work. ;-)

    “Live-in strippers.” So they wouldn’t sleep with him but they WOULD strip for him. Sounds like a perfectly acceptable compromise….

    In films featuring this or that fictional rock star, I’ve sometimes come across scenes with said rock star in bed with three or more women at the same time and I couldn’t help wondering how “realistic” it was to suggest THAT many women would be willing to “share” a guy, even a rich and famous guy. That’s because I based my thinking on the presumption that the women were neither drunk, high, nor being paid to be there. When these factors were called to my attention, some of the mystery cleared up.

    However, I presume that Ted Mikels relied on none of those factors, and he wasn’t even a rock star, so, I guess, WOW, then.

    The IMDB claims the castle was in Las Vegas, btw, which IMHO sounds noticeably less WTH.

    Shifting briefly to the world of literature, In Laurell K. Hamilton’s Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter series, Anita lives with and sleeps with several male lovers. I can’t help suspecting that a male character living with and sleeping with several female lovers wouldn’t go over quite as well with a lot of Hamilton’s fans.

    Terry the Sensitive Knight:
    Is it wrong that I actually like Finley ‘Critter’ Jones? He’s one of my favorite MST characters.

    Why would it be? Near as I can tell he’s the film’s sole sympathetic character…

    Mike Flugennock:
    I first saw Astro Zombies back in high school on the local late-night “Creature Feature”, and it had to be one of the funniest (unintentionally) movies I’d ever seen. John Carradine playing a mad scientist (as in Unearthly), Wendell Corey slurring his way through the movie, and bangin’ hot Tura Satana rockin’ some wicked-assed dresses. To this day, I’m amazed that it managed to escape the clutches of MST3K — and Cinematic Titanic, and RiffTrax.

    Well, its luck got better (or ran out), Rifftrax cornered it at last. I recently acquired the riffed DVD and may or may not comment on it at some point. Incidentally, it featured five actors from “Girl in Gold Boots.” Along with, as I mentioned years ago, Wendell “H.A.R.M.” Corey, who somehow evaded a “They say that Wendell Corey owns one-half of this whole town” riff for the second time.

    The DVD sound quality requires one to turn up the volume to hear the actual film dialogue which has the side-effect of making the riffing dialogue VERY LOUD. So it goes.

    Cornjob:
    In some circles refusing to fight in a war is considered a morally courageous act.

    In context, however, like it or not, it was indisputably considered an ILLEGAL act. That makes a difference.

    Savvy:
    – So, what exactly did Buzz see in Michelle?

    Gas money, remember? At least, originally. After that, well, hey, she was there, she had that much going for her…

    Otherwise, hey, let’s please not play the why-does-someone-find-someone-else-attractive record again…

       1 likes

  46. Johnny's nonchalance says:

    touches no one’s life, then leaves: “We”?

    *WE* don’t perform it. Sitting Duck performs it.

    It is Sitting Duck’s prerogative to perform it or to decline to perform it.

    It is NOT your or anyone else’s prerogative to expect Sitting Duck to conform/limit his or her behavior to your or anyone else’s standards.

    Please try to understand that. TRY.

    (even if bad wolf’s not around any more, the point remains valid)

    Overreact much?

    Project much?

    Just relax.

    La la la

    Oh, and live up to your handle

    vamoose

       4 likes

  47. Dan in WI says:

    Okay, maybe it’s just me but implicitly or explicitly calling any woman “a hole” strikes me as TOTALLY uncalled for…

    Hey I’m assuming it was Courtney who named her band Hole so she opened the door to that one.

       2 likes

  48. Jason says:

    This is a top tier episode in my book. It’s true that the movie is a whole lot less fun after the road trip half finishes and it doubles down on the ooze, but the riffing really keeps up. A happy artifact of the show’s imminent cancellation was that genre restrictions stopped being enforced by the channel, so we got this movie, another Joe Don opus and Willie Shakespeare.

    I am still perplexed that the Institute for Mad Science thing constituted a network-mandated “story arc.” There isn’t really anything to it, even taking into account that it pretty unnoticeably goes away a few episodes later. Or was the fact that it was such a nothing BBI’s rebellion? Mary Jo handles the material hilariously, anyway.

    I also love the Mike singing sketch and the way Cambot has to pan over to the side to find him. I hope Season 12 expands the new SOL set so they can do stuff like that.

       3 likes

  49. Sitting Duck says:

    touches no one’s life, then leaves:

    Ator In Flight: Great episode, solid riffing and all the host segments are funny. Mike’s song is a classic and I have to say Bill is a better dancer than anyone in the movie.

    As Crow or as Brain Guy? ;-)

    Probably both.

       4 likes

Comments are closed.