Movie: (1995) A grandfather tells his grandson a pair of stories featuring the legendary wizard Merlin.
First shown: September 12, 1999
Opening: M&tB are into 1920s-era college pranks
Intro: Pearl’s latest IMS assignment makes Servo a despotic ruler, briefly
Host segment 1: “Niche reviewers” Crow and Servo review each other
Host segment 2: Servo acquires a magical spell book, which turns Mike into an infant. Waah
Host segment 3: Mike shows off his collection of Ernest Borgnine childrens’ books
End: Bobo is disguised as an evil toy monkey
Stinger: Little kid sings: “Rock ‘n’ roll martian…”
(294 votes, average: 4.47 out of 5)
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• I’m doing these in episode number order, but in fact this was the last new episode of MST3K shown until season 11 came along. A rights problem developed with the movie, and the episode was put on the shelf for many months, and it was still on the shelf when the series finale aired in August of ’99. Finally, a few weeks later, it was finally cleared and shown. It WAS nice to get one more episode, but watching it was a little weird.
• But taken on its own, and leaving out the context, this one is pretty much in line with the “very good not outstanding” level of work we’d already gotten in the previous two episodes. The riffing is great, most of the segments are at least mildly amusing and this movie is very watchable.
• Mary Jo’s thoughts are here.
• This episode was included in Rhino’s The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection, Vol. 5
• References.
• It’s certainly not the first time we got a movie that was in fact two shorter films slammed together (see “Monster A Go Go” or any number of combo TV episodes) but it’s happening here too. The second half, the one involving poor bedeviled David and the evil monkey, was originally a short film called “The Devil’s Gift.” More about it here. The movie the kid is watching is clips from “The Devils’ Gift.”
• Lots of then-current references in this one, including then-household names like Madaleine Albright, Larry “Bud” Melman and Kenneth Starr.
• Segment 1 is great fun. Very well written.
• Obscure reference: “Mona!” It’s a reference to this commercial.
• I’d forgotten about all the many John McEnroe jokes. The guy does look like him. “Grow some hair, son.”
• Segments two and three are low-key and fun but not hugely memorable.
• In joke: “They just got ‘Barb Wire’ at Blockbuster!” The Pam Anderson movie “Barb Wire” came out, produced by the same movie company, as “MST3K: The Movie.” The cast managed to find out that a shortage of funds meant that only one of the two movies was going to get a wide release and plenty of promotion. “Barb Wire” was the horse they backed.
• LOTR reference: Shadowfax
• It’s not like this movie has any shortage of stupid dialog, but the line “You look like a man who likes his trinkets” takes the prize.
• I wonder who’s running Servo in last bit. Probably Patrick.
• The end segment, with Pearl addressing the camera while Bill and Kevin upstage her with a parody of the vacuuming bit from the movie, is very funny.
• Cast and crew roundup: No crew and only one member of the cast: George Milan was also in “War of the Colossal Beast.”
• CreditsWatch: Directed by Mike.
• Fave riff: “Remember to believe in magic, or I’ll kill you.” Honorable mention: “Tonight on ‘Old Lady Gets Killed.'”
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***** one of my faves. Love any riff reminding us that this is essentially a bedtime story. Think it would have made more sense to have Grandpa tell the first story, the kid isn’t asleep so he tells the second story. The idea that the old man has shoehorned Merlin into two independent stories wouldn’t even fool this kid. Personally I think the decent print and sound would help make this a great introductory ep.
I can only go 3 stars on this one. The subject film is just not very engaging for me. They riff hard and well, the hosts are pretty good, but not that re-watchable for me.
I don’t mind the Borgnine jokes, cuz they are funny. But I do kinda like Ernest Borgnine. Won an Oscar for Marty, he had a lot of fun with McHales Navy, and I am one of the 15 people in America that saw Gattaca in the theater.
Has anyone commented about the parrallel between Pearl raising Dr F from a baby again ( story told early in Season 8 ), and the woman here having to raise her husband up from a baby ?
FYI, re: The Devil’s Gift.
A quick google finds the original 1980’s version available (in segments) on YouTube, for your viewing ‘pleasure’.
J/P=?
I’ll support those saying this is a strong episode. Not in my top ten, but good stuff all around. Except . . .
“All in all, I think that this episode is a great introduction to MST3K.”
So would I, except that I’ve had multiple people get seriously turned off by the dog dying. None of them ever really cared about the cat, but apparently a lot of dog lovers are so sentimental that they can’t look past that one part of the movie. I actually had one person refuse to watch *any* other MST3k episodes because of that one scene.
Yes, this person was so irrational about their love for a fictional dog that they apparently could not conceive of how other episodes could *not* show equally horrible things. Or maybe blamed them for being willing to televise that at all. I guess. Why blame the show for the movie? I can’t stand Manos, but even if it were the first I saw I can think logically of how other episodes would vary by fodder. And in both her actual case and my example, we enjoyed/would enjoy the actual riffing element. Why then would you not see value in testing other episodes? Man.
This is another one of my favorites. I’m not sure about top-ten, but not far from it at least. The Brains diffuse the “dark” with sheer ridiculousness, and their adding on to the angry psychic is priceless. And for no good reason, Crow singing “Guy With A Toy Monkey On The Run” gets me every time.
I’ll agree that the “mundane” nature of most of the evil monkey’s threats gives the film a lot darker edge than most, if not all of the past movies. Which makes the end where it’s causing earthquakes and crap even more ridiculous. For those who’ve seen the original… where did the monkey come from? Are we to assume Aggressively Pleasant Mom is really Satan?
And… yeah. Uh… Intellivision is a “current” ref for the mid-90s? I It wasn’t even really a “current” ref for the mid-80s. Early 80’s maybe. It was an Atari competitor.
As I said in the weekend discussion thread, in the first 20 minutes of this episode every single riff hits hard. I’ve watched this one so many times, and the first “story” in the movie never fails to bring me to tears of laughter. The rest of the movie goes on pretty steadily, but boy, that first third is a gold nugget of riff-tastic genius. One of my favorite scenes is when the monkey dad visits the inappropriately pissed-off psychic. Brilliant.
This has always been one of my favorite episodes. To me, it’s one of those where the movie is goofy enough on it’s own, that the riffing makes a perfect compliment.
(Quick note: I already sent out a comment, but it was held up in the moderation queue because it contained links. So if a similar comment shows up after this one, it’s not my evil twin or anything like that.)
I LOVE this episode; five stars. It’s definitely a top ten for me.
Random things:
-As mentioned above, “The Devil’s Gift” is available on Youtube. There’s a plot summary on Wikipedia as well – and if you read it, you’ll find that the movie is MUCH darker than the Merlin edit. Also, if you watch the end of the movie on Youtube, you’ll learn that the monkey kills the family, with their screams echoing through the house as the movie cuts to black. Thanks, Grandpa Borgnine!
-LOVED all the Grandpa Borgnine riffs, both in the segments with grandson and during the boring parts of the movie. (“By this point, Billy, a kid threw a chicken while an infertile couple browsed a store!”)
-I agree with #55 – every riff in the first 20 minutes is brilliant. I won’t list them all here, but, yeah, they rock.
-Did anyone else think that Mr. Cooper bears a strong resemblance to Senator John Kerry? They even sound like each other!
-I absolutely love the part where Mr. Cooper finds the youth spell and says in that weird voice, “Well, we must remain young and vital!” The way Mike laughs in response to that is better than almost any riff.
-Loved the Midnight Cowboy/Nilsson reference (“I’m goin where the sun keeps shinin, through the pourin rain”)
-I loved the character of Pete, aka Uncle Pusher. Why did they make him so flamboyant?
-I kinda liked Zurella and her over-the-top performance. She seemed to grasp that this was supposed to be a movie for kids (unlike, say, the writer).
-The end to Movie #1 bears a strong resemblance to the end of a famous Twilight Zone episode, “A Short Drink From A Certain Fountain.” In that episode, an older man drinks youth potion and turns into a baby for his wife to raise.
-The “animal abuse” (particularly the dog) is definitely disturbing, as mentioned above. That said, Mike and the bots got some brilliant dark riffs out of it, which seemed to be VERY difficult to do. A thought: If this movie was riffed in Joel’s era, I could see them all screaming at the movie and getting angry as opposed to riffing. Which would be funny too.
-TOO MANY great riffs to mention, but I’ll randomly throw out “Now I’ll have to send you to Hell!”, “No, Grandpa Borgnine, not another subplot!”, “The sky took his life, as lovers often do,” “Seventies house, can I help you?”, and “It’s the monkey.” Oh, and Rock ‘n roll Martian!
What a cruel and unpleasant mash-up of a movie – it deserved the MST treatment. I’m actually glad that Merlin (“That’s right lady, look at the monkey.”) showed up at the end to re-direct the nihilism into something resembling a happy conclusion…such as it was.
“No, Grandpa Borgnine, leave me hope and joy!”
Not outstanding? I think this one beats the hell out of the previous 2. 5 Stars!
Yet another in a long list of episodes that makes one ask the question….”Okay, which one of the long-time MST3K cast member is the infantilist?” Finally, after years of references to film characters wearing diapers, we finally get a cast member wearing one.
Favorite part, when the psychick gets increasingly ticked off at our heroic father, pardon me, our father who really looks like he could go for a hero sandwich.
Once again a bit of a slam on witchcraft during the film and 2nd host segment. Totally justified, though, since in popular myth Merlin WAS the son of Satan, so you’d expect his book of spells would have a darker tint to them that your more life-affirming modern witch’s Book of Shadows. At least the movie writers seemed to have some idea of the Rule of Three since the evil our critic planned to do was indeed revisited upon him. I’m rambling now, aren’t I? Sorry.
Anyway, great episode, bizarre and creepy film (what kid wouldn’t want a creepy, smiling, dead-eyed cymbal clapping monkey, blech) I’d love a copy of Ernest Borgnine’s children’s books. Except for Dr. Blood’s Orgy of Gore, that one’s just too awful.
“Remember that kitten, Billy? That was nothing compared to this!”
I loved their twisted narration for Borgnine, the increasingly furious medium and the bizarrely fey Merlin.
“You just don’t believe in Merlin and his holy demons!”
That riff sums up the theological confusion of this movie quite well. Not as inconsistant as Soultaker’s metaphysics, but even weirder than Pumaman’s doctrine.
Anyone else think it strange that the kid was so happy to get creepy monkey doll as a birthday gift? Yeah, when I was that age, I would have thought a monkey doll was just as awesome as an Imperial AT-AT Walker. Then again, they did name their dog “Sparkle,” which sounds more like the name of a dance team competing on Star Search, so I guess there’s no accounting for taste.
The family in the second part of the film had the worst taste I’ve ever encountered. Both the wife and the man’s mother buy a horrid little cymbal-playing monkey? What next, a Buddah figure with a clock inside the belly?
BTW, why does the dad have “portraits” or people, instead of photos?
“I really need to get pictures my own family.”
Also, I always thought the anime being show was Battle of the Planets. I was wrong!
Not one of my favorites, but a bizarre, deranged little episode. It’s oddly amusing how NOTHING in this movie fits together. Ernest Borgnine’s telling the plots of his failed movie submissions to his bored grandson, who’s just finished watching an old lady burn to death on TV. What?
“So that’s how you got rid of Grandma, eh?”
“Merlin was a thieving crackhead who fenced VCRs to feed his habit.”
I can agree that some of the host segments are a little weak, but overall, this has to be one of the top 3 episodes of season 10. It’s a personal favorite, and with the exception of Space Mutiny, probably the episode I’ve seen the most. So much of the movie riffing is absolute gold; I can’t think of a single dead spot, which is rare even for an excellent episode. Agree completely with all the posters who love the riffs reminding us that this is Grandpa Borgnine’s story: “He puttered around in the kitchen for a while and got himself a cold drink.” “See, what I’m trying to say, Billy, is that man dies with a whimper, staring into the face of ultimate darkness.” I really have to wonder what has to be in an episode to get out of “good but not great” status if this doesn’t escape that.
There are two gems in the host segments, which kind of balance out some of the weaker stuff: Servo’s rapidly-quashed dictator (“I’ve come down with a sudden junta” is one of my favorite lines by anyone, anywhere) and the bots’ reviews of each other (“The verdict is in, and the world was not awaiting a chubby pompous eunuch!”).
This one is a lot of fun…a solid ep but not outstanding. Though it does have one memorable line that became quite an in joke between me and some others: “Have you seen my little monkey?”
Well, have you?
B+
Favorites:
*The old lady at the beginning makes an odd, smoker’s-raspy, very-low-to-moderately-high moan (sounding like a door creaking) which is perfectly matched by Mike reversing the same moan from moderately high to very low.
*Zurella slowly turning around to face the camera, given voice by Servo with an equally slo-mo sounding monster growl.
*Crow, as Zurella whispers into Merlin’s ear, “Button your robe”.
*Merlin: “Mark my words”. Mike: “Munch my shorts”.
*Mike wondering about Ernest Borgnine, “Is that a sea turtle under his sweater vest?”
*”I’m Ritz!!”
Was that a sideways callback to “Fugitive Alien” drunk captain? (You’re stuck here!)
Jonathan “As they say, knock my socks off”
Zurella – Cackling laugh that stops suddenly
Mike “You Have No Socks!”
The riffs about the infertility subplot really cracked me up when i first saw this.
Jonathan: “it’s nothing more than a rock”
Mike “like your womb”
I love how in addition to the riffs they often just laugh at the jerk columnist and how over-acted his character is. The continuity in this ‘film’ is a total mess, especially the parts where Merlin is edited into the monkey-toy film. The older film has that saturated, darker look, clearly a different film stock than Merlin’s scenes.
I agree with the ‘good but not great’ rating. A solid episode, funny but not stellar.
I think the “Devil’s Gift” part of the movie is my personal favourite part of this episode (although the rest of it certainly isn’t bad!)… which may be for no more complicated a reason than that its “1983-ish” setting is something I was a kid for myself. (I do kind of like the subtlety of the “riffs” on it.) Still, learning at last that “everybody dies” instead of “an amiable wizard wanders in at the last moment and gently chides the monkey” is sort of depressing…
one of my absolute favorites! “twinkle”
“Oh, come on, Grandpa Borgnine, no wonder you never sold this turkey!”
I said ‘Your Welllllcome!’
Someday I will learn the difference between your and you’re.
I hang my head in shame. :oops:
I’m still watching this episode. Right now there are two things in this episode that stay with me. It’s those subtle things that Mike and ‘Bots do in addition to the normal riffing.
1. Borgnine’s crotch is right in front of Crow. Seeing this, Crow leans to his right, trying to get out of the way of Borgnine’s “area.” Mike notices this too and is equally repelled.
2. When Madeline is seeing what is going on in the garage, Crow says of her, “That protrudes my neck cords!” Right after that, Servo quietly says, “I’ll say,” as he observes her neck.
Larry “Bud” Mellman was a household name in 1999? 1989, maybe.
One of my all-time favorites. It’s one of those rare instances where the movie is a total mess, yet it’s not bleak, drab, or dreary. I agree with those who said it’s the perfect introduction to MST3K. I’ve got a few of my friends hooked with this episode.
It definitely shows how we all have our own view of what MST3K should be. So many of you are saying it’s an average episode, while others say it’s everything an MST3K episode can and should be.
Well, I guess I’m in the minority again. I thought this episode was pretty dull. Host segments were blah, riffing was okay in spots, but not great. When they did Borgnine’s assumed narration it was pretty good, and the only time I really laughed was the scene with the “clairvoyant” yelling at the dad.
Um…Crow has a nephew?
Okay, this’ll sound like weird question, but when Borgnine sits down on the couch, just as Servo makes the fart joke, and Bornine says, “Young man…”, I swear it looks like a spark or something comes out of Borgnine’s ass! Does anyone else see that?
To me, this is the best Season Ten. It’s like riffing on an “Amazing Stories” episode. In fact, I’ve said before that I suspect the first half of the movie is an unsold TV pilot that Berton decided to salvage into a movie by stitching on bits of his earlier film. He also managed to scrounge up enough money to get Borgnine for what must have been a NIGHT’S WORTH OF SHOOTING at MOST, and somehow — voila — a movie.
In that way I admire the guy’s resourcefulness, but it’s painful how he did stitch it together. As Sampo noted, that scene with Merlin and the guy on the bench towards the end of the film is truly execrable. Tom and Crow rightly groan throughout the guy’s “You know, it’s the darndest thing” speech.
But because the pilot was about Merlin and full of whimsy (even in Cooper’s transformation) and “The Devil’s Gift” is a bland horror movie, the two don’t mesh at all. To me the whole endeavour puts Berton on the level of Wood when it comes to bad footage recycling, and that’s why I find it fascinating and amusing. I feel for the director, but honestly, he had no talent. Just a cynical view of what made money.
There’s no doubt in my mind that The Devil’s Gift rips off “The Monkey.” Some have tried to point out that Skeleton Crew came out in 1985, after the movie, but “The Monkey” was first published in a magazine in 1980.
I actually think the angry psychic’s attitude is pretty well justified–I mean, who the hell would be dumb enough to think an object so obviously evil would be an appropriate gift for a child’s birthday? She’s right to berate the dad for his idiocy.
One of the worst movies ever done on the show from a standpoint of pure incompetence, but it’s mostly the good kind of bad that is fascinating and fun to watch it’s so bizarre and unintentionally funny. MST3K certainly did a good job with it. Good jokes and sketches during this one. Another strong effort from the show’s final season.
For all the jokes about him, Ernest Borgnine really is a fine actor. I know older actors have trouble getting good parts in Hollywood these days and it was a chance to get in front of a camera again, but it still seems wierd seeing an actor so good in such a bad movie.
What I liked most about this episode was the stinger.
At first when you see the kid playing with the monkey singing ‘Rock N’ Roll Martian’; you wonder why that’s funny.
Then they explained it’s the way the kid said it; it didn’t sound like ‘Rock N’ Roll Martian’; it sounded to them like ‘F**kin’ Old Martian.’
I still laugh every time I think of that particular stinger.
I give the first movie, um, the first half of the episode 4 stars, and the second movie, um, second half of the episode 3 stars. I agree with Sampo on the favorite riff and that would have to be one of my favorite riffs all time. Speaking of which, has there been a weekend discusion of favorite riffs? If not may I suggest that for one weekend.
I prefer Airwolf if I have to see Borgnine, but this mashup of a movie is prime riffing material. Shortly after it aired I showed this to a friend who hadn’t seen it (even though he started watching the show before I did). We both lost it over Tom’s repeats of “you’re welcome”. This isn’t well-known, but there’s a ‘mystery kid’ in this movie. Look at the far right side of the screen at the :59 second mark in the linked video. It looks like a kid wanders on-screen then just as quickly walks back out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGCPIY3JX_E
I love the host segs. Mike as a baby slays me. Riffing is rock solid, and at times as dark as the movie…
“We’re gonna change the dog’s name to Crispy” – Servo
“It’s nothing more than a rock” – “Like your womb” – Jonathan/Crow
Yes as Roman and Afrgarga noted, the anime is “Ultraman” not “Gatchman.” I had just read about “Gatchaman” and Sandy frank last week, so I must have had it on the brain.
I hang my head in shame. I hope no one publishes a career ending review of me now.
I have to concure that this was a very weak episode. For me the simplest test is how often did I laugh out loud? This this case it simply wasn’t very often. Obviously that is a matter of taste and as it is been said many times one man’s Manos is another man’s season 1 episode.
Now I wish I could figure out why episodes like this don’t make me laugh because I can’t even explain it to myself.
Now here’s a possible discussion thread: MST3K: Do you laugh as hard watching an episode solo as you do with a group? After all laughter is contagious. I will point out I’ve only ever seen this episode solo.
@ “it didn’t sound like ‘Rock N’ Roll Martian”
Yes it did, to me anyway. I had no trouble understanding what the kid was saying even the first time I saw this. I thought the “song” was funny because it’s bizarre, completely random and seems to have no relation to anything going on at the time in the story such as it is. If the writers thought it sounded like something else it must have been because they were mind-numbed from having to watch the movie for work. Seriously, the actual line is so bizarre it’s plenty funny without having to imagine it sounds like something else.
@54- it’s their loss- “it’s only a show…so really just relax.” If they want to take issue with the film, don’t take issue with M&TB; some people are sooooo uptight.
@54-None o my biz but since you posted it;
Do these folks you are referring to realize that the dog didn’t die as it was a movie, a bad one at that? Films n games are fine n fun but they are not real. Seems like more and more folks are confusing real and fantasy.
@54 – I totally understand your frustration. Obviously I don’t know them personally, but I would be super annoyed by that kind of unnecessary, irrational behavior.
I love this episode a lot. It’s worth it for the riffing alone which I consider to be top-notch. There are countless brilliant lines. I’m glad somebody else finally mentioned the “He puttered around the kitchen for awhile, then got himself a cold drink”. That line never fails to crack me up, along with “I very quickly sold Sparkle to a farm, where he’ll be happier.” There are so many amazing riffs I have to stop myself. I know there is always someone who could say this for nearly any episode, but I definitely have a hard time fathoming how people could consider this anything below “great”. Obviously it’s a matter of taste, but still….it’s not even just the riffs, it’s M&TBs’ inflections that get me rolling on the floor half the time. For awhile I actually ended my voice mail with “and remember to believe in magic, or I’ll kill you”. My mom didn’t like that at all….
“I very quickly sold Sparkle to a farm where he’ll be happier!” I love my dog too, but that’s pretty funny. AND it’s just a movie. Whoops! Gotta go. Old Yeller is on. Followed by Where the Red Fern Grows. Followed by Plague Dogs. It’s gonna be a good day!
“so servo left my sight, so i guess that means he doesn’t exist anymore. ‘waaa’ i suppose”
A solid ‘4’. To place it on a ‘chart’ is hard for me. I essentially have a top 10 (this changes all the time) and a bottom 10 (ditto) with the rest in the middle some where. This is upper middle right now.
Like many, I thought the Devil’s Gift has a lot of potential to be so much better. I vaguely remember a very simular story in an old Hitchcock or TLZ? If not, they certainly should have.
I’m one of your Johnny-come-lately MST3k fans, and this is one I find myself watching over and over again. One bit that tickled me so much I found myself winding it back and watching it over and over again was the sound one of those smart-alecks made when Grandpa Borgnine got up out of the chair- sort of a strained-pained-really determined groaning-growling sound. It sounded like Corbett. Can anyone verify that? And Pearl’s description of it as a family movie. Her big-blue-eyed lunacy always tickles me.
TLZ – Twi Light Zone ?
I concur with 92, 94, and others. What’s the problem with the dog and cat each getting roasted? Nothing graphic is shown, and it’s blindingly obvious that no real animals were hurt. Besides, the cat was possessed by a demon–as most cats are. ;-)
I don’t know why, but the line “Hit the pavement, you Celtic fairy!” always cracks me up.