Movie: (1976) A New Mexico mineralogist is struck by a meteor, and is transformed into a mindless humanoid-lizard monster.
First shown: June 13, 1999
Opening: Crow and Tom are blossoming everything
Intro: Mike attempts to escape using a remote-control Bobo
Host segment 1: The bots rush the Halloween season, and hollow embarrassment ensues
Host segment 2: This week on Legends of Rock: The Band That Played “California Lady.”
Host segment 3: Crow and Tom rig a remote camera, and catch a glimpse of Mike’s disturbing bedtime routines
End: Tom has injured a baby satellite, but soon all is well; Brain Guy and a brain-exposed Bobo bond, much to Pearl’s displeasure
Stinger: “Moon rocks? Oh, wow!”
(310 votes, average: 4.60 out of 5)
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• I like this one a lot. The movie is only marginally watchable and on this viewing I really noticed what a mostly placid, quiet little movie this is, which gives the riffers a lot of elbow room. It’s a classic example (“Teenage Strangler” is another one) of a group of people who got together in a town to make a movie, and didn’t really know what they were doing. The riffing is solid and just about all the segments are a lot of fun.
• This episode is included in Shout’s “MST3K: Volume XXXVIII.”
• Mike offers some thoughts here.
• References are here.
• Once again, props to the prop makers for the exquisitely blossomed objects.
• Servo’s head is still blossomed in theater and Mike crunches on some while watching the movie.
• In his comments, Mike makes reference to the classic moment where Johnny Longbow recites the ingredients of his stew recipe with a level of world-weariness more befitting the reading of a will. From that point on, they just won’t let the stew jokes go.
• The intro segment definitely has a late season 5 feel. It’s been a while since “bringing the satellite down” was the goal of a scheme.
• Mike’s face in segment 1 is classic; complete neutrality in the face of Crow’s increasing embarrassment and humiliation. Those pea pods look good, too. Oh, and this time I noticed that Tom’s arm is taped around Gypsy.
• Segment 2 is another gem, perfectly capturing those nostalgia/biography shows.
• Segment 3 is probably the weakest of the episode, but the Mike’s little puppet show on his bed is worth the price of admission. And I guess this is our one and only look into Mike’s bedroom.
• Fans have tracked down Frank Larrabee, the lead singer (aka the fish-lipped guy) in the band that played California Lady. He still lives in New Mexico and is a professional Appaloosa breeder. Fans who’ve tried to contact him for some backstage remembrances have gotten no replies, Maybe he didn’t appreciate being called “the fish-lipped guy.” No word on the eskimo and the friendly looking backup singer.
• Riffs that made you want to slap them: “His pants are Hagar, and they’re horrible.”
• Cast and crew roundup: Screenwriters William Finger and Charles Sinclair also worked on “The Green Slime.” Special effects makeup guy Joe Blasco did makeup for “Parts: The Clonus Horror” and “The Touch of Satan.” Special effects guy Rick Baker (who was uncredited here) also worked on “The Incredible Melting Man” and “Squirm.”
• CreditsWatch: Directed by Mike. A Bill Gibb is listed, along with Brad, as an editor for this episode and three more after it. Ed Dykhuizen and Sarah Lemanczyk begin their stint as interns that continues to the end of the season, except for one episode.
• Fave riff: “I need a wheat penny and a Glock.” Honorable mention: “They shot two klieg lights and a gaffer.”
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I’ve never seen this one. :shock:
Simply one of my all-time favorite episodes.
The movie riffing is hilarious and the bits are, too (a rare combination).
Mike’s “Behind the Music” segment has to be one of the best, most dead-on parodies ever done on this show. They boiled down every Behind the Music episode to its essence and laid it out in 3 minutes. I can never watch this segment without laughing out loud.
The same goes for the parody of the “prank” scene in the movie. It wasn’t much of a prank, Paul didn’t panic or crap himself, but they still had to spend the next 4 hours (subjective time) explaining the damn thing. Oy vey. Nobody, but nobody, these days does a blank stare (to hilarious effect) like Mike Nelson. (I like to think of this bit as Mike’s Buster Keaton homage, much as he paid tribute to Oliver Hardy with his mannerisms in the Crow v. Servo dogfight sketch in “Space Mutiny” as he prepares to take his tea.)
The movie? The movie is awful, of course, another weird little regional cheapie made by god-knows-who for god-knows-why. And if the set of this movie wasn’t awash in cocaine, then I’m Joel Hodgson. There are scenes where the actress playing Kathy — flushed, blotchy & gaunt — looks like she hasn’t eaten or slept in days and that’s BEFORE she starts worrying about Paul.
And I’m surprised no one’s mentioned the police chief who’s more worried about Paul’s health than the fact that he’s been on a couple of killing sprees. That’s some warmhearted policing there!
Lightening…………
STOP TALKING JOHNNY LONGBOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: I’m sorry but that line cracks me up. Even now when someone is talking on and on I will say that line.
This is one of my favorites. I think the recreation of the practical joke is great. IMHO one of the best ways they got across how bad some of these movies is when they simply redid a scene from the film without changing it much. The classic example being of course It Stinks from Pod People. Favorite riff- I call it Antiseptic Manor.
34- When I was younger, I watched the HELL out of this episode. I lost the tape, but finally got a fan DVD of it recently. It turns out I remembered just about every line, but I had forgotten “What up bitch!” which made me laugh SO HARD because I didn’t remember it AT ALL.
The practical joke in the beginning is so great because it’s just so BAD. I have no idea if Paul is supposed to be scared or not. He doesn’t act it, but then Kathy apologizes profusely for like ten minutes.
I also love “California Lady” and I love that it doesn’t fit in with the movie at all. Was Frank Larrabee friends with the director or something? Why else would he be in the movie? The song has NOTHING to do with the movie. Kathy is from New York. There’s no California ladies anywhere. There’s just like a random folk song interlude and I have no idea why.
God I love this movie!
I don’t know who made this, but I just stumbled onto it today. It’s an fake ad for Johnny Longbow’s Legendary Stew:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/alxlen/1422544184/
I love Crow’s reaction when the “California Lady” starts. He first hears the music. Then moves back in surprise and says, “What’s that!” Then we see the concert and Crow says, “Oh no! We’ve stumbled onto an Eagles concert! It’s a nightmare!”
With all the talk about ‘The Band Who Played California Lady’ on this thread, I think we should have a Weekend Discussion about who was the worst band in an MST3K movie. My pick would be a toss-up between the one that sang ‘Idiot Control’ from ‘Pod People’ and the one that sang ‘Fish Kicker’ from ‘Hobgoblins’.
GizmonicTemp:
I LOOOOOOVVVEEE your version of California Lady
Should make more metal though!!
I am very surprised that, being filmed in New Mexico, they didn’t make a “this is what happens when you leave the Bronx” joke as the station wagon pulls up to Paul’s (mother’s) house.
Also: “I’m wearing terry cloth, do you need anything absorbed?”
Even if Frank Larrabee has a sense of humor about himself, I don’t blame him for not wanting anything to do with MST3K. Making fun of someone’s complete lack of acting talent is one thing, but “fish-lipped guy” is just ripping on the guy’s looks and is kind of mean (from his perspective).
Kathy, on the other hand, HAS to be aware of how awful her performance was. I found it odd that she started mothering him before the end of their first date.
You’re rushing the Halloween season again, aren’t you?
Ah, yes. In the 70’s, Native Americans were very ‘in.’ That is, the concept of Native Americans, at least. I think we’re in the Apache Chief field of Native American studies here.
Y’know what’d be really fun? A movie where Kathy and the weird-accented lady from WEREWOLF –Not the pantsless girl, the other one– get together and talk about their boyfriend troubles.
A good episode, but upon re-watching it I’m kinda disappointed that what with all the jokes about Johny Longbow, Mike and the bots never made a “Johny Long-Torso” callback. Oh well.
Favorite riff: “Let’s just go eat!”—Mike, as the sheriff. One of those you kinda have to see to understand, but Mike’s delivery just perfectly matches the sheriff’s expression at that point.
Runner-up: “Monstrous pigs are attacking!”—Mike, as Paul’s girlfriend shrieks. That really does describe her shrieks perfectly.
Great episode. I love the parade of goofy looking doctors towards the end of the movie with Crow cracking up saying something like “Where did they find these guys!?”
Yet another solid episode in the season 10 arsenal. Granted I have not seen this episode in awhile, I have trouble recalling a lot of the jokes that made it a winner in my book. I love the host segment where they mock the ridiculous scene where the main character is supposedly “scared” by the mask. Favorite riff, (that I can recall from memory), “JC Penny hookerwear.”
MikeH #59 – Thanks a bunch! I did the best a guy with a guitar, effect pedal, and Audacoty can do.
“Calif. Lady” is actually a very cool song, especially if you crank the low frequencies and listen to the VERY fine bass work by “the eskimo”.
More metal, huh? Hmmm….
let me throw another kudo on the fire for gizmonic temp’s cover of California Lady. very nicely done sir.
I confess to really liking the California Lady song, lead vocal, harmonies and bass playing from the first giddy-up go.
Don’t know why I see a bit of resemblance between Frank Larrabee and Julia Roberts’ niece, Emma.
Favorites:
*While Paul is climbing the hills on the stolen motorcycle, Servo: “There’s a huge bee chasing me!”
*Kathy flashing back to prior scenes while Paul’s narration of his love of going to Sandia Crest replays in her head. Crow (as a groggy, out-of-it Kathy) after each pause: “Huh?”. “What?”. “Huh?”. “Why?”. “What?”
*The monotone doctor confirming with Johnny, “…a meteorite you say?”. Johnny lightly nods. Servo (as the doctor): “I SAID, WAS IT A METEORITE?”
“I forced my skull right through my face and refused to wash my stringy hair!” I love that one.
Very enjoyable episode. It’s not in my regular rotation, granted, but I enjoy the movie and host segments.
Only one person mentioned my favorite riff: Tom saying “What up, bitch?” for the dumpy scientist when he greets Paul.
When Kathy asks about Johnny Longbow’s name, Paul (or whoever) says “It translates as ‘warrior’s bow that reaches far to its mark.'” Did he just translate “Longbow” from English into English? (I suppose he might just be giving a more literal translation of the Navajo name, but the first version is funnier.)
Paul! Paul! Paul!….if you ask me, it sounds like a college drinking game just waiting to happen…
All I know is…Paul and Kathy get my vote for the “screen couple with absolutely NO chemistry whatsoever” award. They almost come across as not even liking each other, but instead, are toughing it out for the sake of just getting the film finished. I guess it might help if they had so much as one single personality between them. They both give performances equal to that of a re-animated cadaver.
That said, I still get a lot of good laughs from this episode…both the movie and the host segments. 5 stars.
“Then I dressed a pencil as a cop…”
One of my top ten of all-time.
I’d like to see this one in the next dvd set. Let’s see…Moonbeast, Riding with Death, High School Bigshot (w/ Out of this World) and Time of the Apes. It would be a great set.
I had this on in the background this past new years eve while I did other things, and right when I started hearing firecrackers and booms outside, (it had obviously struck midnight), I heard from the living room “And the monster’s red glare!”. I thought it so cool that I named 2010 ‘the year of the moonbeast’.
I have the screenshot shown here stuck on the wall calendar right above my computer.
Great riffing, great 70’s bad movie, great host segments. Just everything I could want in an episode.
Too many great riffs to pick just one.
I’d have a hard time even narrowing down to a ‘top 100 riffs’ list.
“I hope she says “Paul help me” again real soon.”
“My Face Grease!”
It’s been noted by others, but Johnny Longbone’s amazing colossal pomposity makes this episode. He’s a shining example of an actor who thinks he’s better than the movie he’s in. He’s not. But to his credit, he’s head and shoulders above Kathy.
The Legends of Rock segment is one of my all-time favorites. They nailed the alcoholism, drug abuse, womanizing and out-of-control gambling that makes bands like The Band That Played California Lady so very tragic and that shows like that loooove to rehash. I notice they included the “but things are getting better for them now, really!” thing those shows always have at the end.
I will say that California Lady is not a bad song, by 70’s folk standards. I can easily imagine it being played on one of those “70’s classic rock” stations, right after “One Toke Over the Line” or “Sister Golden Hair.”
Now, about Kathy…that she’s no actress is abundantly clear. But really, to me, (and this is completely subhjective) she looks…well, haggard. Like she’s a worn-out groupie and this movie is a way to make money to feed her increasing coke habit.
Favorite riffs:
Right after the opening downbeat of the song, “Shelly Duvall!” The timing on that was perfect.
“It’s that used tissue I just threw away! Hey, hi, tissue!”
“Man, watching you transform is like watching paint dry!”
“I’d almost unhook my thumbs for her.”
@GizmonicTemp Very well-done! Has a sort of mid-90’s feel to it, which I like.
I’ve seen this one twice in the last 3 months and it’s quickly become a favorite of mine.
An excellent episode.
The Riffing started out strong and finished strong, with only a few spots in the middle where I wasnt laughing. The riffs off Johnny Longbow were fantastic, especially over his stew. Serveral riffs had me laughing out loud.
Good host segments too, the opening stuff was great, loved them making fun of the band that sang California Girl with Mke talking about what happened to them in voice over. The stuff with Bobo being experimented on was fun stuff. Also liked Servo accidently shooting the little sattalite and the mommy arriving to get it.
Favorite Riffs:
“JC Penney Hooker Wear; For the casual hooker at work, rest, or play.” – Crow
“Wow! He’s transforming into the exact same person” – Mike
“I’m ready to fight Captain Kirk.” – Mike
“If I’m going to die, I’m going to die looking like a man.” – “In my feety pajamas.” – Paul/Crow
“I need a wheat penny and a glock.” – Crow as Paul
“Paul is not Paul any more!” – “He’s Super Paul!” – Longbow/Crow
This is part of season 10s big 3 (with Boggy Creek & Gold Boots) and the last great episode MST would ever do (IMHO). This was one of those that snuck up on me. I liked it just fine when it first aired, but it seems to get stronger and more consistantly hilarious every time I put it on.
Crow’s line “The arrow caused him to frug” – made this old man howl with laughter. Super Paul really did look like he was doing that dance move, :lol:
Nice to see others who feel that “California Lady” isn’t a bad song. It’s no classic, but I wouldn’t change the station if it came on. The Band Who Sang “California Lady” has to be up there alongside the bands from Horror From Party Beach and The Girl In Gold Boots in pantheon of MSTed music that doesn’t totally suck.
“The original Smashing Pumpkins!”
This is a solid one, but it wasn’t always that way. File this one under: really improved for me with repeated viewings. Doesn’t happen often, but does. There are some slow parts but strong riffing overall. I particularly like the scene where the couple get killed (the drunk guy who comes home), don’t think that’s been mentioned yet.
I was in New Mexico a couple months back. Just wanted to say that. Yep. That’s all. You can all go on with your lives now.
Great host segs for Sci-Fi year…it occurred to me as I was watching a Joel ep the other night that a lot of my fav host segs are not just when they play with some aspect of the film, but actually use an image from the film or incorporate a short scene. A great example of this would be when the last one for Godzilla vs Megalon and they supply their own subtitles. They do this kind of thing for California Lady and I like it very much.
Btw, a good song? I think not. “My voice is getting too damn froggy?” Yeesh. Though, for the record, it’s still better than most songs by the not very original Smashing Pumpkins.
B+
This was the first episode I ever watched, and is still by far my favorite. However, probably my favorite part is the giant glaring mistake I noticed during maybe my tenth viewing.
After the scrawny drunken bowler and his wife die, we cut to the scene of the sheriff telling Longbow about the killings. Now, the guy is definitely on the stretcher, dead, but if you look at the other stretcher, it is obviously just a pillow under a blanket. Now, I wouldn’t think anything of this unless the sheriff hadn’t motioned TO THE PILLOW ON THE STRETCHER as “the woman died of a weak heart.” So, either they only decided to pay the woman for one day’s worth of shooting, or he’s just the most unobservant sheriff of all time.
Either seem plausible.
On another note, the place where the scrawny drunken bowler scene starts (“thing, get down from…oh”) is the same location as where the guys playing cards in the tent are killed.
Man, I’ve seen this episode way too many times. A solid five-star from me.
Here’s what isn’t great quality of the pillowstretcher (TM), but gets the job done. Around the 5:30 mark is where to start. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L26V3DdTInM
Solid 4-star episode for me. Watchable enough with plenty of good riffing-“I am the Jim Morrison king!”. I can’t think of moonrocks the way I used to. Now I hear the word ‘moonrock’ and laugh. Don’t forget to take your 4×4 down to the Track of the Moon Beast.
@Gizmonic Temp, excellent rendition of “California Lady.” The song always caught my ear, despite the fish lipped lead singer and eskimo guy on visuals. Well done! :grin:
Wow, what a film, lots of bad performances in this one, very few likable characters and lots of weird line deliveries. The sherrif is way too touchy-feeley in his first scene with Longbow, I assume the director was trying to show they were good friends, but it starts to get sorta creepy!
Worst line delivery? Many to pick from, but my fave is;
“I’ve got all kinds of antiseptic in my medicine cabinet at my at my place”
Mike “I call it ‘antiseptic manor'”
Paul and Kathy are the most wooden romantic couple of any MSTiied film I can think of, no chemistry and just generally awkward. Others have noted she looks a bit haggard like she’s been up on a 3-day coke bender. I totally saw the same thing, flushed cheeks, glassy eyes, red nose, etc … she should have tried some of Longbow’s Peyote instead!
And Paul … zero emotion, zero acting but more than enough standing around shirtless or being sick and sweaty.
1st host segment with Mike eating peas and the ineffectual practical joke is one of my top faves from the sci-fi years! great example of how awesomely funny Bill’s Crow can be! The other host segments in this ep are pretty good too!
Right on GizmonicTemp! Good job on your cover & I also noticed the excellent bass from the Eskimo dude. The song is annoyingly catchy but the jammin bassline makes it more tolerable. (I play flute and have been picking out a bit of what he’s playing.)
4.98 Stars!
Oh, and my theory about the famous Johnny Longbow stew recipe scene –
It feels like maybe they have done a LOT of takes of this scene, or it had been a tiresome day and he pauses for an exasperated sigh when he gets to onions, not thinking this would be the actual take they used.
But probably the editor or director didn’t have ANY good takes from the actors on this scene or any others, so they had to go with the ‘least bad’ ones for the majority of the film.
I would file this under “good, but not great” episode. It’s an enjoyable episode but not necessarily one of my favorites. I give it 3 1/2 stars.
My favorite riff:
Kathy: Why do you call him Johnny Longbow?
Paul: That’s his Indian name, his tribal name.
Mike . . like Wahoo McDaniels
#77 “This is part of season 10s big 3 (with Boggy Creek & Gold Boots) and the last great episode MST would ever do (IMHO).”
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What! With those nice young ladies from Spider Island coming up,
and the RETURN OF JOE DON BAKER :shock:
Although I’ll concede that the latter is not a favorite with Maltese men.
#66 #82 #83 – Thanks for the kind words!
#75 – Nice catch! I actually DID listen to “August and Everything After” before I arranged this. (One of the BEST albums EVER!!)
One of my favorite episodes, the riffing and the host segments are top notch in my book.
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I normally don’t take issue with what most people write on this board, but I believe that all the people who say “California Lady” isn’t “too bad” may need deep, prolonged, musical therapy…
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Also, I love Longbone’s scientific leap when explaining how the Moon could cause a human to lizard metamorphosis: “Look at what it does to the tides”
Good science Johnny!
Definitely my favorite episode from Season 10 because I was born in New Mexico and, yes, the view from the top of Sandia Crest is quite nice.
Favorite Riffs:
“Wow, he’s transforming into the exact same person!” and “I’m ready to fight Captain Kirk!” – Mike
“Your brain is the size of a chickpea.” – Crow (plus Mike’s follow-up of “We also found some stray Q-tips.”)
“Drink me in, world; I’m freshly oiled and ready to rock!” – Servo
I found a letter from Donna Leigh Drake (Kathy) written about 3 years ago in which she talks a little about Track of the Moon Beast and the MST3K version. Scroll about 2/3 down the page: http://www.coldfusionvideo.com/mailbag/mailbag-012007/
Maybe Shout! can interview her for the inevitable DVD release. It’s a public domain film and a great episode, so hopefully it’s on Volume XIX.
Ang mentioned a quote- “Kathy: ‘Don’t touch it, let me do that. Crow: ‘Words every guy wants to hear’.” Remarkably racy for MST-3K, I always thought. BTW, we got the Johnsonville Brats commercials here, too (Ohio): “JOHNSONVILLE Braaaats!!”.
#90 – Good find.
An interesting read but she just doesn’t seem to grasp how truely bad she was. She says this very early in the letter, “however, when I received the script, it became apparent that it was almost impossible to give those wooden words some life!” Badly written dialogue is not a reason for bad acting. Though yes, that is where the director should have stepped in and pointed out how bad she and everyone else was acting.
Glad to know she’s moved on and is very happy though.
That was a good find. So she is a country singer now, and check out the name of her band, “I front a band called Sugar Magnolia.”
As MSTies, we should be familiar with that name. It was the one Tom Servo chose for himself when Joel asked the question to the ‘bots what kind name they would give themselves.
Aside from Hayden Christiansen, the Star Wars prequels are proof that good actors can’t save a movie with wooden dialogue.
mikek (#93): “Aside from Hayden Christiansen, the Star Wars prequels are proof that good actors can’t save a movie with wooden dialogue.”
And a bad director. They have that in common, too.
Yes, that host seg popped to mind the moment I read “Sugar Magnolia” in her letter. Maybe when she’s performing, she should change her name to Vivian Vance.
Great movie and riffing. Shout factory should release this if they can.
Hilarious 4 star episode for me. Top 20 all-time. I watched it again last night and it was better than I remembered. I love Johnny Long(Bone)bow. He acts so self-important and pompous throughout the movie. He’s one of the most memorable side characters in any MSTied film. Paul has all the acting chops of a wooden cigar store indian. Kathy may be the worst actress in MSTory. I LOVE the numerous racy/naughty jokes in this one centered around Kathy and Johnny’s Long-Bone. Not enough of that in other MSTied films for my taste. To each his own, I guess. Of course, The Band That Played California Lady sketch is a classic.
Nice to see a southwestern movie MSTied. I grew up in Nortern Arizona not too far from the Navajo Rez, which crosses the New Mexico border near where Moon Beast is set.
An aside: This is one of my top twenty episodes of all time and I only give it 4 stars. The overall rating here is like 4.51. It seems like every movie rated on this board in between 4.00 and 4.50+. Really? I LOVE MST3K and I’ve got a lot of them rated at 2.00, 2.50, 3.00, 3.50 stars. There has to be some kind of difference in gradation levels, right? every episode can’t be a 4.00 or 5.00 star episode. I rate only about 4-5 episodes at 5.00 stars. 5 stars means I’m basically LOL throughout. If you give every episode 4 or 5 stars, it really doesn’t mean anything.
Garth Arizona #96 – People who like a certain episode are more likely to vote that they like it. People who don’t like an episode tend to simply stay way and/or not take the time to vote. A show that gets one 5-star vote is not better than a show that gets 100 votes that average out to 4.99. When I did the Mstie Community rankings for my website, I had similar problems. If two people liked a show second-best, is that better than one person who ranked it their favorite? I eventually settled on “merged rankings” (ranked # of votes list + ranked average score list = final list).
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Statistics suck.
So does Longbone always keep a fresh supply of corn cobs in his station wagon in case of impromptu arrow trick demonstrations?
Everything’s subjective with ratings of course, and it all averages out. Some episodes given rave reviews on fan sites are NOT FUNNY episodes IMO, and vice versa. That’s one of the great things about MST3K-every episode is loved by some fan.
I would have loved seeing Dr. Johnny Long(Bone)bow in something else. Maybe a cheap “Kolchak: The Night Stalker” knock-off where the pompous, windbag, anthropolgy professor chases mythical native american and mexican monsters around the southwest (chupacabra, etc.). Every episode of the extremely short-lived series would have featured Johnny’s expert archery and interludes with Johnny reciting the ingredients of his authentic native american dishes. That would be hilarious and make for amazing riff fodder.
Alas, it was never meant to be. The actor, Gregorio Sala, was never in anything else according to IMBD.