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Episode guide: 1009- Hamlet

Movie: (1961) A dour production of Shakespeare’s play produced for German TV. A prince returns home for his father’s funeral and doesn’t like what he finds.

First shown: June 27, 1999
Opening: Tom Servo is now Htom Sirveaux
Intro: Crow has a name change too; Mike interrupts Pearl’s plan with Three Card Monty — which she loses, allowing Mike to pick the movie. He chooses unwisely
Host segment 1: Crow and Tom’s plan to be the ghost of one of Mike’s dead relatives quickly unravels
Host segment 2: Crow and Tom give Mike a preview of their percussion version of “Hamlet”
Host segment 3: Time once again to play “Alas Poor Who?”
End: Crow and Tom show off their Hamlet action figure, with real soliloquy action; in Castle Forrester, a snotty Fortenbras demands his due
Stinger: Claudius does a double take
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (413 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)

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• I’m going to come right out and say that this episode is not nearly as bad as its reputation. Yes, the movie is particularly dour, but Kevin, in his comments on this one, is right: You can’t hurt this thing no matter how hard you try. As happens every time I see this one, I got drawn in to the classic tale, which for me was made all the more fun by the overlay of some pretty solid riffing. The host segments, aren’t bad either. I know plenty of you can’t wait to start trashing this one, but I’m not on board. That said, I don’t have a lot else to say about this one.
• Kevin’s thoughts are here.
• This episode was included in Rhino’s “Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection, Vol. 4.”
• Callback in the opening host segment: “You think you can take me? Go ahead on.” (Final Justice)
• I like segment 1 a lot. It’s fun, fast and it’s over quick. Really liked it even more this time.
• Segment 2, on the other hand, is a pretty good example of the more-clever-than-funny segment. Clearly they wanted to say something about the many many avant garde stagings of “Hamlet,” and they did say something, but I’m not sure it added up to a comedy sketch.
• Yes, that’s an uncredited Ricardo Montalban doing the voice of Claudius and John Banner, of “Crash of the Moons” and “Hogan’s Heroes,” doing the voice of Polonius. Happily, the Brains noticed. They made two John Banner jokes and one Montalban reference.
• Segment 3, feeling very season two-ish, goes on a little long. But it’s a cute idea.
• Kevin is hilarious as Fortinbras in the end bit.
• Cast and crew roundup: Nobody involved in making this movie worked on any other MSTed movie.
• CreditsWatch: Directed by Mike.
• Fave riff: “Hamlet faxed me a sililoquy!” Honorable mention: “Nice play, Shakespeare.”

284 Replies to “Episode guide: 1009- Hamlet”

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  1. Despite a lot of people’s griping, I’d rather watch the worst episode of MST3K than anything else on TV these days.

       9 likes

  2. This Guy says:

    I’m also in the “pro” camp on this one. I don’t think less of anyone for not liking this episode, because it’s just a matter of taste. It’s nothing to do with intelligence or having a lot of knowledge about Shakespeare, it’s just that it won’t appeal to everyone. That said, a couple of points:

    #94: No, those who like this episode don’t like it because it’s “cool” to like it; they like it because they like it. You seem to be suffering a severe case of Opinion Myopia–the belief that anyone who doesn’t share your opinion is not simply wrong, but that they don’t actually hold the opinion they profess.

    #76: This isn’t a flame or anything, but you stepped into a pet peeve of mine. Shakespeare didn’t write in Old English or even Middle English, but Modern English (Early Modern, but still.) Middle English, most associated nowadays with Chaucer, reads almost like a different language, but you can usually make out a lot of it when it’s in print. Old English or Anglo-Saxon reads entirely like a different language, and it’s heavily Germanic. Beowulf was originally written in OE, and Tolkien taught it at Oxford.

    #83: 0/10 on your attempt. Try harder next time.

       6 likes

  3. pablum says:

    Perhaps the worst episode of MST3K ever. I chalk it up to the crew finally realizing they were all about to lose their jobs and being in shock while writing. Maybe Hamlet and this German version in particular weren’t salvageable. Anyway, this episode sucks. Despite that, I still own the DVD from Volume 4.

    I feel similarly to the upcoming It Lives By Night which I again feel that job-loss shell shock was a major contributor to the low quality of the comedy within it.

       0 likes

  4. Dr. Batch says:

    I’ve seen this one at least four times. Let’s be honest, it’s not that good. I have no reason to ever watch it again. There’s so many other MST3k episodes to watch instead.

       0 likes

  5. Rob says:

    @66 – Sampo

    Thanks for looking into it. Question asked, question answered lol.

       0 likes

  6. Pixiesnix says:

    #94 reads a lot better in the voice of Comic Book Guy.

       3 likes

  7. greydruid says:

    @53, – fish eye no miko:

    That guy with the thick Mexican accent was the famous Ricardo Montalban. Or, as Shatner would call him, KHAAAAAAAAN!

       0 likes

  8. I can’t understand why people don’t like this one. It has my all time favorite riff: Tom Servo declaiming “Sum Up!” during the “To be or not to be” soliloquy.

       2 likes

  9. big61al says:

    I used to think that this was my least favorite episode. I have made a change in my thinking. I now have four catagories to classify the episodes. Top ten, great, good, fair. So this rates as a fair. I feel better already.

       1 likes

  10. Hermie says:

    Seriously, how can some of you put this in your top 5?? Especially the girl who liked it better than Santa Claus. This episode is dividing the fans. They should have chosen a different film.

       0 likes

  11. Cubby says:

    This episode is dividing the fans. They should have chosen a different film.

    See, this is why the company was called Best Brains.

    Their brains were so powerful they could forsee an internet argument over the selection of “Hamlet” 11 years hence – and they chose to do nothing about it.

       2 likes

  12. crowschmo says:

    Blech.

       0 likes

  13. Joe Raygor says:

    I must say, I am genuinely pleased to see this thread be (for the most part) a very mature debate with both sides presenting reasonable explanations why they like or dislike “Hamlet”.

    I was honestly worried when I came in that I’d just be seeing an endless line of “OMG THIS SUX WORST EPISODE EVARRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!1111oneoneone”. But I’m very impressed to see MSTies can disagree with other with respect. It’s something that makes me PROUD to be a fan of this show.

    As for the episode itself: If I’m in the right kind of mood, Hamlet can be a hysterical blast. Most of the time, I’m usually stone-faced and only chuckle occasionally. In other words: Meh. It doesn’t get played often, but I don’t really dislike it strong enough that if someone wanted to watch it, I wouldn’t protest.

    MLD (#94): Wow. Mystery Science Theater 3000. Serious Business. I’ll bet you’re the kind of person who would write a 10 paragraph rant on how much “American Idol”/”Twilight”/Miley Cyrus sucks, but when asked how much you actually watched/read/listened to, you’d go “Don’t know, never so much as looked at it for 10 seconds!” and those kind of uninformed prejudgmental opinions just make me angry/sad. (And before anyone asks, no I am not a fan of the given examples.)

       3 likes

  14. Joe Raygor says:

    crowschmo: Legit question: Is there an episode of MST3K you actually like? Seems like every single review you write is “This episode sucks” “Lame episode” or “I didn’t care for this”.

    Seriously, lighten up.

       1 likes

  15. Luther Strickland says:

    #111 Cubby: “See, this is why the company was called Best Brains.

    Their brains were so powerful they could forsee an internet argument over the selection of “Hamlet” 11 years hence – and they chose to do nothing about it.””

    One minor correction, Cubby: the brains foresaw a LAME internet argument and did nothing to prevent it. It boggles the mind that people professing to be adults in some sense of that word still fail to understand that the fact that opinions, especially about art and entertainment, are neither right nor wrong. They simply are.

    I find this epsiode only mildly entertaining compared to most of the rest of the series. Unlike a lot of the “pro” comments, I think the “Alas, poor who?” sketch is not at all funny, except for the inclusion of the canned laughed track. That is the only saving grace of what I find to be an otherwise flat skit. Some of the riffing is top notch, some not so much. An okay episode, though I, too, have fallen asleep on it a time or two.

       0 likes

  16. MLD says:

    LOL!

    Again, I’m THANKFUL that I haven’t met a REAL LIFE MST3K fan like you “Know it all, holier than thou, would suck the **** of anyone from the show” no-lifers.

    I’m sure that you guys are quite a riot at the Cons huh? Do the comic book nerds harass you any? If Mike/Kevin/Bill are signing and notice you, do they try and hide? I’m guessing yes.

       0 likes

  17. Tork_110 says:

    This episode really let me down. I read Hamlet in high school and I felt like I had a good handle on the play. The skits are OK but this episode comes off as Mike’s KTMA episode. The only parts I liked were the “cut his throat in the church” reactions and the sword fight, where the characters finally shut up for a moment. Otherwise it was scene after scene of watching riffs fall flat.

       1 likes

  18. Joe Raygor says:

    MLD: I’m THANKFUL that I haven’t met a REAL LIFE MST3K fan like you who throws a hissy fit because everyone doesn’t agree with him.

    MST3K: Serious Business.

       5 likes

  19. HamletFan says:

    I like this episode. Mike introduces the film as “drab and dreary.” It may be true the film is just that, but the words are wonderful art.

    I noticed the theater riffing was understated, compared to other movies they have done. I wonder if this shows hatred for the movie or, an allowance for the dialogue?

    Maybe both?

       0 likes

  20. Gummo says:

    Gee, if my life was so empty that I had to fill my time trolling an MST chat board, I’d just kill myself and get it over with.

       4 likes

  21. monoceros4 says:

    Better than Branagh’s Hamlet, anyway! Branagh managed to prove that with the magic of film editing (and bizarre special effects and stunt casting and a lot of other movie magic) it is in fact possible to preserve every single word of a great play and still make an utter hash of it.

    Yes, the adaptation in this episode is rather dreary and lifeless–one longs for the energy and wit you’d expect from, say, someone like Derek Jacobi or David Tennant–but it is still “Hamlet”, which automatically gives the viewer something to look forward to, even if it’s just a favorite quote or two. I can’t say it’s a wonderful MST3K episode, though, but there’s no way it’s any less entertaining than the even drearier, nastier It Lives By Night coming up soon.

    MLD: “LOL!”

    And the fact that he actually said “LOL” is all anyone needs to know.

       2 likes

  22. mikek says:

    Poor Fortinbras. He even go left out that new Hamlet TV movie that aired on PBS a few weeks ago, the one starring Dr. Who and Captain Picard.

       0 likes

  23. Iggy Pop's Brother Steve Pop says:

    MLD (#116): “Again, I’m THANKFUL that I haven’t met a REAL LIFE MST3K fan like you”

    Damn, he’s onto us. He knows we’re not real l… sorry, REAL LIFE MST3K fans, but merely generated by a computer program made by the Illuminati exclusively to bother him.

    Shh! Don’t tell him!

       3 likes

  24. Pixiesnix says:

    But it’s too late! He already knows! Initiate automatic internet self-destruct!

    And the internet was going so well until now…

       4 likes

  25. This Guy says:

    Oh, we can’t have nice things. Time to start developing the next worldwide network.

       3 likes

  26. Cabbage Patch Elvis says:

    Can I vote minus stars? Just kidding. But seriously – screw you, Shakespeare!

       0 likes

  27. Matt D. says:

    Oh MLD, you rapscallion. You are actually making me feel bad about giving this episode one star. This is easily my least favorite episode of all time (of the shows I have seen), but I have no problem with people who can enjoy this episode for what it is.

    I only wonder what Edward De Vere, the 17’th Earl of Oxford, would think of this episode.

       2 likes

  28. DaWurmFace says:

    I can’t say this is a great episode, but like all episodes it has it’s moments. I like Hamlet and I’m glad they kept in some of my favorite lines from the actual play: “Where is Polonius?” “…In heaven”

    I actually kinda like “Alas, poor who?” but man hearing a writer say it’s the reason the show was canceled and that it was incredibly stupid was a little shocking. But still, I like it.

       1 likes

  29. Garth Arizona says:

    2 stars…which is better than other episodes (Castle of Fu-Manchu, Monster A-Go-Go, City Limits, etc.). I watched this again last week and was surprised at how much I liked the riffing. Three stars for the riffing, but one star for the terrible movie. It’s so dark and dreary…how much do you think they spent on sets and wardrobe? A buck fiddy, at most.

    The quality riffing makes this one bearable, and even funny at times. But only 2 star funny…let’s not get carried away.

       0 likes

  30. WhereTheFishLives says:

    Another good episode from season 10, though certainly not the strongest of the season. Favorite riff: He’s reading from Tim Allen’s book. This episode has always depressed me a little after I learned that the girl playing Ophelia committed suicide on her 23rd birthday.

       1 likes

  31. Watch-out-for-Snakes says:

    Here’s the problem with this episode: it’s boring. Mike and the bots are really quiet in the theater, like, KTMA Joel and the (weird) bots quiet. There’s too much space between riffs, it’s like they’re just watching the movie. And this movie sucks. I find myself napping or doing something else while watching it. This last time out, about halfway through, I found myself making a list of things I needed to do/buy. New license plates for the car. Need to get the brakes fixed too. Check in on grad school. Pay the electric bill. Buy a new record player. New shoes too. You know, stuff like that. All that said, some of the riffs are actually pretty good (Danish clowns!) and this isn’t a truly terrible episode, it’s just that it sticks out like a sore thumb amongst other MST offerings. It’s easy to pick on. It’s like the redheaded stepchild of MST experiments. And nobody likes gingers.

       4 likes

  32. H says:

    I’ll say this- even though (or maybe because) I’m not a fan of Shakespeare in general, I enjoy this episode. Not great but solid through and through.

       2 likes

  33. RockyJones says:

    Considering the task at hand, I think the guys did a phenomenal job at making this episode as funny as it is…with the possible exception of host segment three. As concepts go, I just never have thought it was the least bit funny. Thankfully, it’s not too overly long.

       0 likes

  34. pat f says:

    I loved this episode, I think it’s one of their all-time best.

       1 likes

  35. Tigermilk says:

    No one has brought up my favorite riff of the episode, and maybe one of my top ten favorite riffs from MST history:

    “Hey! I don’t go to your job and rock the Slurpee machine, do I?”

    Sure, it’s astoundingly unoriginal and built on a way old joke set up, but the way it was delivered by Crow just hit me right.

    The episode itself? My opinion has pretty much been expressed more eloquently by other posters, but I like it. Good episode. Maybe because I love the source material so much that hearing it riffed on makes me happy by proxy. Hamlet was the first goth-teen icon, yeah?

       2 likes

  36. Warren says:

    I don’t hate this one, I just have to force myself not to fall asleep when I’m watching it. Poor audio+dreary visuals makes me tired. I still get this one out to watch occasionally. Host segments vary, Htom Sirveaux is still funny, Alas Poor Who not quite as much. It’s still less boring than Robot Vs. The Aztec Mummy or Corpse Vanishes. The last time I watched this I made it through by pulling out my Oxford Dictionary of Quotations and reading all the pages of quotes from…you guessed it, Hamlet. #131-I and many guys I know like hot ginger chicks.

       2 likes

  37. Fart Bargo says:

    Why is anyone paying any heed to the braying of an 8 yr old who is cussing & insulting simply for attention sake?

       2 likes

  38. trennerdios says:

    #54 – You took the words right out of my mouth. That pretty much sums up my exact feelings on the episode, only stated in a much more eloquent manner.

       0 likes

  39. Captain Crouton says:

    So, what’s the tally? I’m guessing it’s 60/40 with the percentage of dislikes are ahead.

       0 likes

  40. Kouban says:

    I think the most bizarre part of this version of Hamlet is the combination of period costume and modern hair. I keep expecting someone to start singing a 60s garage rock song at any moment.

       2 likes

  41. Gummo says:

    I keep expecting someone to start singing a 60s garage rock song at any moment.

    Kouban, that would be pretty great. Make it “96 Tears”!

       0 likes

  42. Sitting Duck says:

    When Hamlet started his “To Be or Not to Be” soliliquey, Mike should have started walking out of the theater. Or would that have been too obscure a reference?

       2 likes

  43. DON3k says:

    Oh boy…. Yes, the production of Hamlet where they made the bold move of constructing only two sets, both made of QUIKRETE concrete mix. Untextured, unpainted, unpadded gray slabs, for as far as the eye can see.

    This episode leaves me as cold and ridged as the gray, concrete set, itself.

    While the riffing is OK, and the segments worth a chuckle, the film itself is just so much nothingness that it sucks the soul from your body as you watch.

    I was a hollow, gray husk by the end of the episode. Still, I did, at least, get thru the episode this time. Two previous attempts, including its original airing, I was not successful in doing so.

    I could not recommend this episode to anyone, frankly, except for in the need of completeness.

    *

       1 likes

  44. Creeping Terror says:

    Reply to #78:

    Fortinbras being cut out is almost certainly NOT the work of the Brains. IMDB says that the original running time was 152 minutes, which is about 2 1/2 hours. A full text version of Hamlet usually runs between 3 1/2 and 4 hours. (Branagh’s version runs for 4 hours and 2 minutes.) When a stage or screen director starts figuring out what the audience will sit through and what needs to be cut, Fortinbras is almost always the first thing to go. The character serves some important purposes for Shakespeare’s audience (politically, philosophically, and dramatically), but modern audiences don’t have the needs. In fact, I have never seen a stage production of “Hamlet” that kept Fortinbras. (Similarly, the character of Hecate is almost always cut from “Macbeth” for similar reasons, although he’s much less integral to the play and many think that Hecate is an interpolation by another author.)

    As far as the question of “Why Germany?” The Germans were the first people to translate Shakespeare and many productions had their first performances on the continent (in English or a foreign language) in Germany. The Germans always have identified with the Bard–even to the point of Hitler claiming that Shakespeare was really a German(!). I’m sure cultural connections between the two countries in the 17th and 18th centuries helped (many German nobles married into the English noble class and from 1714, England was ruled by a German dynasty–the House of Hanover). It’s just interesting to see Shakespeare completely botched by the Krauts.

       2 likes

  45. This Guy says:

    #144: Hecate a “he”? Must’ve been some weird-ass productions of Macbeth that I haven’t seen. Of course, Hitler’s claim was completely preposterous–everyone knows that Shakespeare was really a Klingon.

       3 likes

  46. monoceros4 says:

    #143: “Oh boy…. Yes, the production of Hamlet where they made the bold move of constructing only two sets, both made of QUIKRETE concrete mix. Untextured, unpainted, unpadded gray slabs, for as far as the eye can see.”

    The approach can work. There was a famous ’70s production of Macbeth that employed a similar approach to set design. But then, when you’ve got Ian McKellen as Macbeth and Judi Dench as Lady Macbeth, you don’t really need sets to hold anyone’s attention.

       1 likes

  47. Iggy Pop's Brother Steve Pop says:

    Creeping Terror (#144):

    Yeah, I definitely overstated it. The point I was trying to make is that, way too often, people assume that any exclusions or plot hiccups in a MSTed movie are the result of the filmmakers, when many MSTed films have had quite deep cuts by the Brains to fit the timeslot.

    Your message is actually a much better/more informed response to ck (#13)’s specific claim that “Probably the strongest criticism of the production is that for some strange reason they cut out the small but crucial role of Fortinbras.”

       0 likes

  48. Iggy Pop's Brother Steve Pop says:

    monoceros4 (#146):

    And there was Orson Welles’ famous Broadway production of “Julius Caesar” in modern dress on a practically bare stage. I think in all three cases, the aim is a certain immediacy by not letting the setting draw our attention away from the drama. As I recall, they didn’t use sets in Shakespeare’s own time. Of course, in the actual case at hand, it does make for a pretty dull-looking film. (That said, the director does have a few interesting compositions… and a few odd choices [“Cut to Camera 2! CUT TO CAMERA 2!”].)

       1 likes

  49. erasmus hall says:

    The film hurts my eyeballs-i can’t watch it all the way through-and i consider monter-a -go-go a superb episode-go figure…

       0 likes

  50. SAVE FERRIS says:


    “Beowulf was originally written in OE, and Tolkien taught it at Oxford.”

    .


    I appreciate your adding this fascinating fact, “ThisGuy”; even though, for some odd reason, it kind of makes me chuckle…………..you know, trying to imagine what Tolkien’s students might have thought about having him as their professor, back in the day:

    .


    “DUDE, you’ve got old man Tolkien for English, too?????? What a piece of work THAT guy is…….”

    .


    “I hear you, bro………The guy does nothing but RIPS on those old, dead authors, and then goes on and on for DAYS, talking about that weird ‘Middle-earth’ thing he’s working on that he thinks will knock everyone on their asses……….SHEESH, is that old windbag a dreamer, OR WHAT ????”

    .


    Thanks !!!! ;-)

       1 likes

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