Summary: ...And continues, and
continues, and continues, until there is no joy or love left
in the world. But I get ahead of myself. Here's the
Prologue: The SOL starts a Cub Scout den. Crow has made a macaroni replica of Van Gogh's Self-Portrait with Bandaged Ear. Servo turns up in a Brownie uniform which he got out of a discount bin. He says the uniform is much less constricting, what with his hoverskirt and all.
Segment One: On the SOL, Mike and Crow admire the
noodle-based Van Gogh. Servo has now changed into his
Flemish glassblower costume, which he also grabbed out of
the discount bin. That Servo!
Segment Two: Crow and Servo are caught in the middle of a tussle. Mike comes in, wants to know what's going on. To find out, they deploy the technique of flashbacks used to such great effect in the movie. But as Crow, then Servo, then Mike, each in turn flashes back to the fight, the memory gets hazier and more Vaseline-covered. Crow does promise, however, that his next flashback will contain a cool car chase.
Segment Three: Down in the Castle, Pearl announces that she's going to start trolling for lumpy, disposable income-disposing tourists by spreading word of the Legend of Forrester's Swamp. The guys on the SOL immediately conclude that it is Bobo. She plays coy but employs Hank Brain Guy, Jr. to sing his haunting folk song about the Legend. It's long on intro and short on actual song.
Segment Four: Inspired for some reason by a quick shot of an old man whittling in the movie, Servo starts a whittling business, WHITLtech. But it's updated for our times: a huge factory, run efficiently and with the bottom line in mind, mass-producing small slightly pointed sticks. He also has a bunch of WHITLtech plants "overseas." Mike voices some opposition, but Servo has to leave in the middle of their talk to brutally suppress some union organizers on the factory floor.
Segment Five: Crow imitates Crenshaw from the movie, starting fires on the SOL bridge. He and Servo are playing Captive Baby Boggy Creek Creature and Big Smelly Mountain Man. But they get tired of this and go off to play Wounded Baby Unicorn and Skinny Sociopathic Janitor instead, leaving Mike with the spreading fires. Presumably, poor Mike burns to death. But it's just a show, I should really just relax.
Reflections: First, an open letter to Arkansas: For someone from Brooklyn, N.Y., I have known a disproportionate number of your native sons and daughters, in college and elsewhere. To a person they have been intelligent, creative, and unfailingly friendly and polite. I will not open the question of that randy fellow occupying the Oral Office right now. But let me say this in no uncertain terms: YOU DO YOURSELF GRAVE HARM IN LETTING CHARLES B. PIERCE MAKE MOVIES ABOUT YOU. After seeing Boggy Creek II, I not only never want to visit Arkansas, I want it wiped off the map with extremely extreme prejudice. This is way over the top, but neither is it fair or decent of you to support Mr. Pierce's poisonous moviemaking IN ANY WAY. Please desist before you do irreparable damage to your fine state, if you haven't already. Thank you.
Now. My reflections: God,
this one was painful! It's the kind of movie that seems to
hate you; to wish you active harm; to kick sand in your eyes
and make you cry. And for me, this was personified by Mr.
Charles B. Pierce, who is apparently responsible for every
single aspect, every nano-second of this cruel and unusual
bit of celluloid. He chose to write and play a grim,
hostile, condescending, know-it-all of a man, a character
who is proven superior to everyone else in the story again
and again, who drills his lousy stinking voice-over
narrative into our heads every freaking minute of this film,
and who then has the temerity to wrap his movie up
suggesting his sour Nazi of a character is really an
ecological servant of God.