Satellite News - Another Chat with Mike and Bill


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Dominion Chat with Mike Nelson and Bill Corbett
January 29, 1998

*** Topic for #auditorium: MST3K Chat: Jan 29 @ 7pm EST

Moderator: The guys will be here shortly.

*** Mode change "+v BCorbett" on #auditorium by Moderator

Moderator: Bill, are you with us?

*** Mode change "+v BCorbett" on #auditorium by Moderator

BCorbett: yes!

*** Mode change "+v MJNelson" on #auditorium by Moderator

Moderator: Mike?

MJNelson: I am here, my Capt.

Moderator: Welcome! Any words of greetings for the group?

BCorbett: Mike is making some snacks for us
BCorbett: Welcome MSTies across the land!

MJNelson: I would like to welcome everyone who is naked tonight. Also those who brought banana bread.

BCorbett: And from that fine country of Europe!

Moderator: <Sampo> to <Moderator>: Hi guys! There have been a lot of rumors about season nine. What can you tell us about the new season?
Moderator: Please send questions to Moderator - /msg Moderator

MJNelson: It's thicker. We use tapioca as the thickener. Also there are new sets. It's fun!

BCorbett: I dress as a fey pale guy a lot! It'sfun!

Moderator: <TServo> to <Moderator>: Could there be a chance that you could do some anime in Season 9?

BCorbett: Not likely. I think the idea of doing cartoons has been consideed and rejected before. By those more powerful than myslef.

MJNelson: We plan to do a lot of superviolent Japanamation. But that means i'll have to actually watch it, so nevermind.

BCorbett: Madeline Albright that is.

Moderator: <Zaphod42> to <Moderator>: Why did you change the movie for ep 905?

BCorbett: Madeline Albright, again. Damn her!

MJNelson: Because it was wet...wait, i don't understand the question.

Moderator: <Atrus> to <Moderator>: "Bill, the last time you were here, you mentioned that it took some getting used to are things going now?"

MJNelson getting an anvil dropped on his shin.

BCorbett: Crow seems to like me a little more now. Though he can still be insufferably rude.

Moderator: <Paxton> to <Moderator>: Hi, guys... I've been a fan since 1991, and I think the show has gone from strength to strength. My prayers were answered when you did "Horror of Party Beach" this past season. Was that a fun one to write for?

BCorbett: Yeah! Until the Del-aires left the movie in the middle.

MJNelson: H of PB was one of my favorites. I actually loved the music in it, which tells you a lot about me.

BCorbett: Then it was just a lot of bad actors in latex.

Moderator: <Delfin3000> to <Moderator>: Are there going to be new characters for Season 9?

BCorbett: Yes. Tv's perrenial kooky neighbor, Bill Daly.
BCorbett: Actually not per se.

MJNelson: There certainly will be appearances by new characters, but as far as any long running things, i'd say, prolly not.

Moderator: <invincor> to <Moderator>: Will BBI officially celebrate the 10th anniversary in some way? And do you count it as this year (the KTMA birthday) or next year (the national birthday)?

BCorbett: You're stuck with us! Ha ha HA HA HA HA!
BCorbett: Good question.
BCorbett: I hope we make it to ten on network.

MJNelson: Besides getting a lame song sung to us at Chili's, we have no special plans for our tenth birthday. unless you've got something up your sleeve

BCorbett: Then we might achieve the fame of MARRIED WITH CHILDREN.

Moderator: <Gypsy> to <Moderator>: Is Patrick going to continue to be Gypsy's voice?

BCorbett: Yup.

Moderator: <BuckFifty> to <Moderator>: Hi guys, since is seems that just about everyone misses the shorts, ever think of doing an episode that is just short subjects?

MJNelson: Patrick does what ever the HELL we say! And i say, YES!

BCorbett: Yes!
BCorbett: One is under consideration now.
BCorbett: It's really more about two things:

MJNelson: We are working on getting a short for one of our upcoming movies, but there are no details as of yet.

Moderator: <Jamie> to <Moderator>: Brains, since MST premiered in Europe, have you received any threats from psycho Eurpean B-movie cineastes?

BCorbett: Trying to do Sci-Fi -- there aren't a lot of Sci-Fi shorts
BCorbett: And we've had long enough movies so far
BCorbett: There are a dozen angry guys with baguettes and berets outside my door every day

MJNelson: We've gotten a couple of stuffy pieces of fan mail, it's actually pretty cool. I'm looking forward to getting some complimentary pudding from the Brits.

BCorbett: Send lager!

MJNelson: Stout!

BCorbett: Steak and kidney pie!...No, forget that.

Moderator: <quickdraw> to <Moderator>: Is BBI considering any NON-MST projects, (TV pilots, movies, obscene coffee table books, etc.) or are you afraid you might be spreading yourselves too thin?

BCorbett: Thank you for calling me thin. I don't hear that much.
BCorbett: And yes, you'll be very happy with our dirty coffe table books.

MJNelson: If we told you, we'd have to kill you. So can we?

BCorbett: Actually, some of us are working on a screenplay together, but it's at a very early stage.

MJNelson receiving my package from Xandria.

BCorbett: And it's your color, Mike!

MJNelson losing his motor functions.

BCorbett Hiting Mike with a broom.

Moderator: <bilby9> to <Moderator>: Will ther be another Summer Blockbuster Reveiw?

MJNelson bleeding and crying.

BCorbett: I hope so.
BCorbett: One thing is very reliable:

MJNelson: We think there's interest--from us anyway.

BCorbett: There WILL be more stinky big-budhet movies!
BCorbett: Um, budGet.
BCorbett: Not buddhist movies.

Moderator: <invincor> to <Moderator>: Former BBI Prod. Manager Wendell Andersson has a movie debuting soon I believe. Do you know precisely when and where?

MJNelson crawling out from under dust and rubble.

BCorbett: I'm not sure.
BCorbett: He came by the office and showed the trailer recently.

MJNelson: Wendell was in not long ago with a trailer for it, and mentioned that it might premiere at the L.A. film Festival.

BCorbett: I do know that Trace and our own Beez McKeever are in it.
BCorbett: As well as Bill Daly.

MJNelson: So is Ed "Too Tall" Jones.

BCorbett: and Madeline Albright. she's EVERYWHERE! ARGGHHH!

Moderator: <ZaphodB42> to <Moderator>: any plans for more celebrity guests?

BCorbett: Linda Tripp will be on the first five shows.
BCorbett: Actually, we're talking to some BIG names.

MJNelson: The search goes on: There is extreme interest from Boyd Gaines brother Ray. And possibly Yogi Berra.

BCorbett: And getting some BIG restraining orders slapped on us.

MJNelson: People shout the word "no" at us.

BCorbett: Ray Dennis Steckler's former paper boy showed some interest.

Moderator: <bowleg> to <Moderator>: Any possibility of excommunicated BBIers showing up in bit parts during season 9?

BCorbett: again, I hope so.

MJNelson: Excommunication takes a long time, and has not been granted yet.

Moderator: <Mr13> to <Moderator>: Have either one of them taken a good long look at Caption This! and if so, who are their favorite captioneers?

BCorbett: We think you're ALL great!

MJNelson: Actually, we've had some extremely tenative talks, but Frank demanded $800,000,000 dollars, which we're trying to get.

BCorbett: Is that diplomatic enough?
BCorbett: Frank insists on bringing that cat from SABRINA with him.

MJNelson: I have not seen Caption This! I am sorry. i will resign my post effective immediately.

Moderator: <Iorek> to <Moderator>: How do you feel about recieving that Ace nomination for best comedy series?

MJNelson resigning.

BCorbett: Good riddanc --- I mean, NO Mike!

MJNelson: It feels dirty.

BCorbett: I was the only nerd in the group who was excited about it.

MJNelson: Actually, it's always fun to go out there and crash their party. good vodka bar!

BCorbett: Everyone else has had their clock cleaned by Sanders too many times before.
BCorbett: SkyBar!!!! Woo-hoo!

Moderator: <BrainGuy> to <Moderator>: we've seen some good story arcs in season 8 (the planet of the apes, etc) , what do you have planned for season 9?

MJNelson: We'll out last the B-----d.

BCorbett: More tepid efforts!
BCorbett: No - I mean, lots of fun stuff!

MJNelson: Kate Winslet, Kate Winslet, Kate Winslet!!!

BCorbett: Pearl and her henchmen find a real cool place at the beginning of the season
BCorbett: But Kevin has promised to "break my %^&$#* thumbs" if I tell.

MJNelson getting whipped with palm fronds.

Moderator: <JakeTheFake> to <Moderator>: [I beg you for God's sake to give them my question] I got my copy of the "Clowns in the Sky" CD recently, and it's great; but I was wondering who wrote the liner notes.

MJNelson: That would be my sorry little effort.

BCorbett: Dah Hammarskjold, I believe.
BCorbett: Um, DaG.

MJNelson: Unless you really hated it, then bill did it.

Moderator: <ThaFog> to <Moderator>: Does BBI have any intention of shutting down the MST3K fan web-sites for using scripts and such without permision?

BCorbett: Yes! I -- hey!
BCorbett: We're sending our goons out now.

Moderator: If you have a question for Mike & Bill, /msg Moderator

MJNelson: We plan on exterminating, with extreme predjudice. But first, we take out The Nanny!

BCorbett: The script thing was a weird little interlude.
BCorbett: I'm not sure exactly what happened.

MJNelson: Look, i'm sorry i sold the script, Bill.
MJNelson: I needed a new hat.

BCorbett: Well, enjoy the five bucks it made you.

Moderator: <Nanite> to <Moderator>: What can you tell us about the MST Graphic Novel and when can we expect to see it?

BCorbett: you and your damned HATS! Everything is HATS withyou!
BCorbett: At the risk of sounding like an ignoramus again

MJNelson: I don't know when it'll be out, but i do know IT WILL BE GRAPHIC!!! WHEW!

BCorbett: (Let's face it, I AM one)
BCorbett: I don't know muchh.
BCorbett: Excpet that the guy who's doing it came by

MJNelson: You're finding out how little power Nelson and corbett wield around here.

BCorbett: and showed us. It looked pretty good!
BCorbett: They make me cleanthe bathroom and stuff here to get my paycheck.

Moderator: <DanHarkless> to <Moderator>: Have you guys seen the new Josh- and Trace-driven America's Funniest Home Videos? What's your opinion of it?

MJNelson telling Nelson to shut his puny mouth.

BCorbett: I haven't seen it yet.
BCorbett: It's just been on for two weeks, right?

MJNelson: I admit, I have not seen it--And i'm the hugest Daisy Fuentes fan in the world!!

BCorbett: I'm busy catching up on old tapes of SAVED BY THE BELL.

BCorbett Hosing Mike down.

MJNelson is hosed.

Moderator: <ProTH> to <Moderator>: At the very end of each episode, the authors of the first amendment are no longer Specially Thanked... why?

BCorbett: I'm sure it's funnier if those guys are writing for it.
BCorbett: Because Kevin hates the Constitution!

MJNelson: What did they do that was so cool? (heavy sarcasm) Oh, thanks for the country, I'm having a great time!!

BCorbett: Freedom! Big DEAL.

MJNelson: It's time to thank the man who made the new Bigger Cheez Its.

BCorbett: Yeah! A REAL american hero.
BCorbett: Mike, have you tried Cheetos Paws?

MJNelson: You can fit things on them, it's great.

Moderator: <DCboy> to <Moderator>: Any plans to do a 6-million dollar man or woman movie?

BCorbett: We get pretty excited by cheese around here.

MJNelson: Can someone e-mail me some cheez? Or cheese. Whatever.

BCorbett: I doubt it.

MJNelson: Only if we get the bionic dog thrown in the mix.

BCorbett: It would be fun, but it's amazing what is NOT available for our MSTing pleasure.

MJNelson Chumbawummbaing.

Moderator: <Spoons> to <Moderator>: We're MSTies from the UK and we'd like to know if everyone will be coming to the UK to plug the show.

MJNelson getting knocked down, but he gets up again, they're not ever going to keep him down.

BCorbett: YES! YES! YES!
BCorbett: Hear that, Sci-Fi Channel!


BCorbett: They want us to come over!

MJNelson: Could you warm a couple of pints for me?

BCorbett: Meet you at the Bull and Pig Pub.

MJNelson: Get me some proper salad cream?
MJNelson: And some eggs mayonaise.

BCorbett: PS I lived in London for a few months. so I speak the language and everything.
BCorbett: Hear that, Barry?!?!?!
BCorbett: I want to meet Lord Melbury!

MJNelson: Parlez vous English, here too.

Moderator: <FlamingHat> to <Moderator>: Did you know there was actually a SEQUEL to Riding With Death?

MJNelson going to enland on sci fi's dime.

BCorbett: I did not know that. I am horrified.

MJNelson: It's actually the Tv series Gemini Man.

BCorbett Waking Nelson up.

MJNelson: There is a big fan of it right in the offices of Sci Fi Channel. Scary huh?

BCorbett: He has Ben Murphy posters all over his office.
BCorbett: And Jim Stafford music blaring day and night.

Moderator: <MrCrowT> to <Moderator>: Aren't you worried of the UK seeing "The Devil Doll?"

BCorbett: Um -- heh heh -- why?

MJNelson: I'm worried that anyone see the Devil Doll.
MJNelson: I wasn't worried when the U.S. saw Manos the Hands of Fate.

BCorbett: Actually we have a few Brit movies from the 60s coming up this season that will certainly cement our doom with the UK.

Moderator: <Barto> to <Moderator>: Will we see Mike in Drag again anytime soon?

BCorbett: Yeah, after all th ebig chunk-headed american guys MST has razzed over the years, it's hard to say we're pciking on anyone.

MJNelson worrying he might not get to go to the U.K.

MJNelson: If you were here now, you'd see me in drag.

BCorbett: More accurately, we're picking on EVERYONE.

BCorbett I am here. Lucky me.

MJNelson: Like Gene Kelly in Singin' in the Rain, it's always dignity first with me.

BCorbett: Mike's slogan: "Dignity first, then pants."

MJNelson: Why don't we just have me oil wrestle a pig next? That's what it's all leading to.

Moderator: <monkey> to <Moderator>: what do you think of the spice girls new movie? any chance of getting it, or is it to horrible for you?

BCorbett: Speaking of Devil Doll, does anyone remember if the puppet ever got the ham he wanted or not?

MJNelson: I like Anemic Spice.
MJNelson: And Bacon Spice, she's neat.

BCorbett: I prefer Pedantic Spice.

MJNelson: RopeBurn Spice is cool.

BCorbett: Revolving Spice is cool too.
BCorbett: and Poultry Spice.

MJNelson: Don Knotts Spice is sexy.

BCorbett: We'll getthat movie in the year 2157.

MJNelson: Rondo Hatten Spice i could do without.

BCorbett: I prefer Fran Tarkenton Spice.

MJNelson: Jerry Orbach spice is one hot tomato.

BCorbett: As well as Mr. T and Tina Spice. Yum!

Moderator: <JakeTheFake> to <Moderator>: We've noticed a lot of repeated musical references through the season; your opinion of Paula Cole is quite obvious, but what's the staff's general opinion on Beck? Lots of references to him, but are they homage or hatred?

MJNelson: Puncture Wound Spice makes me tingly.

BCorbett: And Clam Spice - yum! OK let's stop now.
BCorbett: I like what I know of Beck.

MJNelson: I never want to stop hitting Beck, personally. But Kevin, that big dumb yahoo, likes the twisted little punk.

BCorbett: More his music than his dancing, though.

MJNelson: Beck Spice is neat, though.

BCorbett: But Anson Williams Spice is better!

Moderator: <HaLLoSpAcEgUrL> to <Moderator>: what are your ideas on the Clinton scandal?

MJNelson: Burr DeBenning....rrrrrr.
MJNelson: Burr DeBenning SPice that is.

BCorbett: There's NO WAY he did it! He's proven that he would never -- ! Oh no wait, that's the Pope.

MJNelson: Um....I think...that people who do that...shouldn't instantly be condemned...heh heh...hehe.

MJNelson sweating profusely.
MJNelson turning all red.
MJNelson lightly whimpering like Dustin Hoffman in the graduate.
MJNelson passing out from guilt.

BCorbett Doing his imitation of William Daniel in the Graduate.

Moderator: <Delfin3000> to <Moderator>: Will you do any more Cameos on Talk Soup?

BCorbett noticing people are indifferent.

MJNelson: We love it there. Any time they ask us, we'll be back. They're very nice folks, and very funny, too.

BCorbett: Not unless Senor Sock apologizes.

MJNelson: There's been hints of a guest host thing, but maybe i'm just dreaming.

MJNelson dreaming, big time.

BCorbett: INext I want to skip the middle man and actually be IN a fight on Jerry Springer.

MJNelson: I could hit you now, Bill.

BCorbett: Thanks, you're a pal.
BCorbett: OW!

MJNelson hitting Bill.

Moderator: <Elroy-L> to <Moderator>: any chance of brain-guy scoring with pearl ?

BCorbett: Again, thanks.
BCorbett: Ewwww! I'm repulsed.

MJNelson: OH MY...hey...that's not bad.

BCorbett: Brain Guy is -- well, he's different.

MJNelson: Thanks Elroy-L. Where do i send the check?

Moderator: <Manos> to <Moderator>: I'm still curious as to the legal implications. How do your guys go about getting permission to use these terrible films? What kind of rolayties do you have to pay their "creators?"

BCorbett: We have to clear the rights in every country in the world.

MJNelson: We offer them whiskey and they all seem to pipe down.
MJNelson: But I kid the creators of terrible films.

BCorbett: Good old-fashinoed payola. Yeah!

MJNelson: Someone owns them all, that's what's hard to fathom.

BCorbett: Um, fashioned.

Moderator: <Jinx> to <Moderator>: any chance of Mike suckering Pearl or her henchmen into the theater?

MJNelson: Wretching Spice, that was a bad idea.
MJNelson: There's no way that will ever....hey....not a bad idea. Thank Jinx. Where do I send the check?

BCorbett: We did that in the Blockbuster review, and it got a BIT crowded.

MJNelson crying over Titanic.

BCorbett: We probably will paly with it again, but hopefully not at the expense of the movie segments.

MJNelson falling for Leo DiCaprio.

BCorbett: paly = play in my langauge

MJNelson watching Spawn for the 47th time.

Moderator: <Violet-rain> to <Moderator>: I heard a rumor about introducing a new "bot" to the show is that true?

BCorbett: Yes. A Tim Daly-bot.

MJNelson: I categorically don't know.
MJNelson: No. There will be no new bot. I think. Wait? No. Ye...No.

BCorbett: I'm Daly-obessed today. what's next, TYNE?
BCorbett: Probably no new bot.

MJNelson: Roto-Tiller Spice is yummy.

Moderator: <Gypsy> to <Moderator>: I noticed MST3K's mention in yesterday's USA Today. Do you think you're getting more publicity since you moved to Sci-Fi?

BCorbett: Fritz Hollings spice, not my fave.
BCorbett: I think we now officially RULE THIS STINKING PLANET.

MJNelson: I think we've gotten some decent press. I'm waiting for the big story in The Advocate, though.

BCorbett: Sorry, I had a seizure...I meant to say, "I think so."

MJNelson ruling the stinking planet.

BCorbett: BIG expose in The Nation coming up.

Moderator: <DeusEx> to <Moderator>: Hey, is there going to be another Convention?

BCorbett: About Kevin's nursing home empire.
BCorbett: I'd love another Convention -- I was a mere infant at the one in '96.

MJNelson: Thank you for your interest in conventions hosted by small town puppet shows. There will not be one in the near future.....
MJNelson: But there is a We've Got it Maid convention in Webster Wis, this fall.

BCorbett: But the schedule makes another one like that very tough.
BCorbett: Velcro Spice? Pretty good?

Moderator: <HaLLoSpAcEgUrL> to <Moderator>: What is your opinion of Bill Gates?

MJNelson calling Hot Pepper Spray in the Eye Spice.

BCorbett: I resent the microchip he planted in my hinder.
BCorbett: Cardinal Richelieu Spice is wonderful.

MJNelson: Bill Gates is a fine, upstanding, hard working...MONSTER!!! IT'S SATAN...SATAN DO YOU HEAR ME? WIPE HIM OUT. STOP HIM!!!!

Moderator: <MST3kCommander> to <Moderator>: Do you guys ever screw up your lines when your in the Theater? And if you do how do you fix it?----> Going over all the lines again?

MJNelson: Screw up our liiines...noh, i do'ont thinkls so. notet me. anywey.

BCorbett Again, training the hose on Mike Nelson, beloved host of TV's Mystery Science Theater 3000. And enjoying it!

BCorbett: We have line screw-ups in every taping.

MJNelson: We do, actually, occasionally, fluff things up. We can go back and fix them afterwards. hint. Kevin is the worst. The WORST.

Moderator: <Atrus> to <Moderator>: "Can you tell us about any funny "behind the scenes" stuff?"

BCorbett: We fix them through the magic of Brad Keeley, our wonderful editor.
BCorbett: Paul trying to catch that greased muskrat. that was rich!

Moderator: We only have a few minutes left. Please send your final questions to the Moderator (me)

MJNelson: All behind the scenes stuff relates to puppets exploding and falling apart. or now and then, me exploding and falling apart.

BCorbett: PS re the lines: look at Crow's beak during the shop sometime.

MJNelson: During the "shop"?

BCorbett: Every now and then it doesn't sync with the line.

MJNelson: Ferrier Spice, yu-um.

BCorbett: The SHOW, OK,&*^#$%@^& beloved TV host?!!?!?!?!
BCorbett: Hosni Mubarak Spice, yum.

Moderator: <Tom> to <Moderator>: How did the Packer's loss effect your lives?

MJNelson: Jicama Spice, what's with her?

MJNelson shooting himself in the head over person mentioning Packers loss.

BCorbett: It made me realize I want to be a priest.
BCorbett: Please, don't be cruel, Mike's from "that" state.

MJNelson: It made me wonder why I ever bought that Chihuahua.

Moderator: <BuckFifty> to <Moderator>: Will there be a Home Game at the start of this upcoming season and if so, what will the featured movie be?

BCorbett: The movie will be "Blame it on the Bellboy."

MJNelson: We haven't heard anything about, but then our knowledge is very limited.
MJNelson: about "it" that is.

BCorbett: Glass Shard Spice, not bad.

Moderator: <JimL2> to <Moderator>: Are you ever recognized by people on the street? \

MJNelson: Honestly, no.....
MJNelson: Of course there's the very real possibility I am, but people just choose to run.

BCorbett: Yes -- they say, you look like a guy who is often under a puppet and /or dressed as a popmpous albinoalien with a hood.

MJNelson: Curly Fry Spice, don't like her.

BCorbett: At least she's better than Jim Nabors Spice.

Moderator: <dprevett> to <Moderator>: Will Mike get to be a puppet again?

MJNelson: Ball Peen Spice, hot!

BCorbett: Actually, I've never been recgonized re the show, and I'm fine with that.

MJNelson: By simply becoming more and more wooden i'm attempting to organically change into a puppet.

BCorbett: AK-47 spice, a bit weird.

Moderator: <telefan> to <Moderator>: Will there be a Servo or Crow virtual pet on the market

MJNelson: The beautiful puppet that Patrick built is sitting right in back, waiting to be used again...

BCorbett: In some sense, Kevin Murphy IS a Servo Virtual Pet.

MJNelson: He's a Kevigootchi.

BCorbett: You have to feed him every ten minutes or he cries.

MJNelson consoling a wet and crying Kevin Murphy.

BCorbett: Is he wet AGAIN?
BCorbett: I just changed him!

MJNelson: Wait, now I am. Great.

Moderator: Did you see the new Observer T-Shirt? (Shameless plug)

BCorbett: I don't like this job anymore.

Moderator: It's available exclusively at the Sci-Fi Channel Catalog.

MJNelson: I did the new shameless plug. It's very cool. Or scary. I can't decide.

BCorbett: (Said shamelessly:) Why, yes I did! It's nifty!

MJNelson: did "see" I meant to say.

Moderator: Thank you so much for chatting with us!

BCorbett: Three fey white drag queens, on your VERY SHIRT! Lucky you!

Moderator: Any last comments for our chatters?

MJNelson: It's been great (for me anyway). i hope i haven't hurt anyone.

BCorbett: Thank you for supporting everything the Spice
BCorbett: Girls do.

MJNelson: Just to thank them for coming out for this. It's always a pleasure.

BCorbett: Except Pork Loin Spice -- stop encouraging her!

Moderator: We will now make the room unmoderated. Don't forget to buy your t-shirt.

BCorbett: Thank you, everyone! It's been great!

MJNelson: Goodbye!!

BCorbett: Sayonara!
BCorbett: Arrividerci!

*** Mode change "-m" on #auditorium by Moderator

BCorbett: G'bye!

Reprinted with permission of The Sci-Fi Channel.