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MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000
THE UNOFFICIAL EPISODE GUIDE
SEASON
TWO: 1990-1991
Featuring the comments and observations of Chris "Sampo" Cornell.
201- ROCKETSHIP X-M
First shown: 9/22/90.
Opening: New look for the SOL; Crow has a toothache.
Invention exchange: Tom's new voice, introducing TV's
Frank, the BGC-19.
Host segment 1: Salute to the reporters of Rocketship X-M.
Host segment 2: Zero gravity humor lesson.
Host segment 3: "What's your dream?"; Valeria from "Robot
Holocaust" on the Hexfield.
End: J&TB disapprove of the movie, letter, Frank
learns to push the button.
Comments and observations:
- And so, with the words "Turn down your light--where
applicable" the modern era of MST3K begins.
- Kevin Murphy takes over as the voice of Tom Servo--but for
this and several episodes, he seems to be trying
to sound a bit like Josh. It would be mid-season before he would truly
relax and give Tom the voice we know for
the next eight seasons.
- The set is, of course, a massive re-think, its walls
plastered with every weird piece of junk you can imagine--along
with the the addition of the hexfield viewscreen and that strange
floor-level hatch which is revealed later to
be Joel's entrance to the "spiral on down" which supposedly leads to
the theater--although it was later
put to other uses.
- The new counter at which J&TB stand is there at one
moment, then miraculously vanishes when Joel demonstrates
the BCG19.
- Meanwhile in Deep 13, we celebrate the arrival of Frank
Conniff as the world's most downtrodden lab assistant.
Also being introduced, are "Jerry and Sylvia," the mole people. Despite
their appearance here, Dr. F.
is still seen controlling the camera in Deep 13 via a button on the
techtronic panel.
- But we see one holdover from season one: Joel has movie
sign alone and arrives in the theater with Tom and
Crow already there waiting for him.
- The lovely lyrics to the Rocketship XM theme are a
wonderful moment. It will not be the last time we
get new lyrics to an insipid theme.
- The first host segment is very well written--almost
overwritten for this show--but why is Joel reading the
time code at the end of each of his lines?
- The second host segment is a true classic--one of the
cleverest of the entire series--all the more special
because it gives the viewer a small primer of the MST3K sensibility and
worldview. From The Flying Nun to
Gallagher, the viewer gets a wonderful look into the Best Brains view
of what is funny and not funny. The only
technical problem with the bit is that we never get a clear look at the
floating wrench--Tom's bubble is in the
way.
- The third segment includes two--count 'em--references to
season 1: Tom's observation "Dames like this
always got beer around" is a line from The Crawling Hand
(episode 106). And the series' first Hexfield
Viewscreen visitor (Mike Nelson, in his first on-camera appearance) is
somewhat lame impression of evil vixen Valeria
from Robot Holocaust (episode 110). I can only wonder what
folks who had not seen that episode thought of
that segment. I just imagine them saying to themselves: "The hell?"
- The Hexfield Viewscreen is obviously still in
development--its opening appears to be a window shade, and then
Mike just switches off the light at the end--but we can still see him!
- A look at the credits indicates the completion of the swift
rise to power and authority of one Michael J. Nelson--hired
less than a year ago "to do some typing" he has now gained Joel's and
Jim's trust to such an extent that
he has been named Head Writer.
- Favorite riff: "I thought 'wormfood' was a bit strong,
Lloyd."
First shown: 9/29/90.
Opening: Wash day on the SOL.
Invention exchange: Joel's pet slinky, Dr. F.'s slinky
body.
Host segment 1: Song: "Sidehackin'."
Host segment 2: Terminology for the sport of sidehacking.
Host segment 3: J&TB have Rommel hats; JC and Gooch on
the Hexfield.
End: Song: "Only Love Pads the Film," letters, Frank
"will" push the button.
Comments and observations:
- Jerry and/or Sylvia take over the camera work in Deep 13
with this episode: Hence Dr. F. being out of focus
when we go to Deep 13 during the invention exchange.
- Cambot makes a rare movie riff: a sarcastic ESPN-like
readout.
- In the third segment, Mike (making his second Hexfield
Viewscreen appearance), as J.C. from the movie, is much
better than he was in his curious appearance as Valeria--but Frank
seems utterly lost as Gooch.
- Not one, but TWO songs in this episode, the beginning a
long series of musical moments in the SOL.
- That, of course, is not a real keyboard Joel is "playing"
in the final segment--and the real keyboard
work, as always, is being done by Mike. That said, Joel's performance
in "Only Love Pads the Film" is
marvelous.
- Favorite riff: "Even these oil fields seem to remind me of
her. Can't put my finger on it..."
First shown: 10/6/90.
Opening: J&TB are playing hide and seek with the
universe.
Invention exchange: Radio controlled circular saw, Dr.
F.'s head is fused to a sax.
Host segment 1: The "Bela's OK Discoveries" infomercial.
Host segment 2: Binocular matte ("Gobos") lesson.
Host segment 3: Two White Devils on the Hexfield.
End: "My White Goddess," letters, Frank mimicks Dr. F.
Comments and observations:
- I'm not a big fan of this episode. I think all the host
segments are weak--particularly the "Bela's
OK Discoveries" bit. For those who don't understand that segment, a bit
of context: Infomercials were brand
new back then and I guess the Brains thought they'd parody them. But I
think the sketch has nothing clever or original
to say about infomercials, and goes on about two minutes too long.
- Noteworthy: Something of a surprise is the brief return to
Deep 13 as the first host segment ends. They seldom
felt the need to return to introduce the main feature.
- Also noteworthy: Jim Mallon's first on-camera appearance,
in the third host segment. Of course, that's Mike
along with him as a fellow white devil.
- The Hexfield ViewScreen has undergone further
refinement--now the window shade is on the bottom.
- I think the reason they chose "Phantom Creeps" is so that
Joel, Trace and Kevin could do their Bela
impressions--they all seem quite proud of them.
- Favorite riff: "She thinks we speak English!"
First shown: 10/13/90.
Opening: The bots say their prayers.
Invention exchange: Tank tops, tickle bazooka.
Host segment 1: Joel vapor-locks as he remembers the '60s.
Host segment 2: Song: "Creepy Girl."
Host segment 3: TV's Frank has a Tupperware party.
End: Charting the film, letter.
Comments and observations:
- The movie is a real departure for BBI--a movie that was
actually trying to be funny. While the movie was not
very often successful as a comedy, in their riffing the Brains
nonetheless struggled with the inherent difficulty
in riffing an intentional comedy.
- Joel has a memorable turn in segment one as he drifts off
into a reverie about the '60s. The comment "People
smoked openly on the Tonight Show" is a gem.
- Kevin really takes off in segment two with the marvelous
song "Creepy Girl." "C is for that
feeling of uncertainty...!"
- Unfortunately, segment three, with Frank giving a
Tupperware party, is another example, for those who contend
that the Brains could do no wrong in those early days, of a sketch that
starts nowhere and just drags on getting
lamer and lamer. Not a lot better is the ending segment--while the
notion of charting the film using Sid Field's
famous formula is amusing, the bit goes on too long for the
unsatisfying payoff: "It's the emotional Tootsie
center of the film!"
- This episode would become infamous--and copies of it became
collectors items--a few years later, when the rights
to the movie expired and Comedy Central found they could no longer
legally air it.
- Fave riff: "Hey, its Gloria Estefan and the Catalina Deus
Ex Sound Machina!"
First shown: 10/27/90.
Opening: Tom gets "haircut."
Invention exchange: Candy adding machine, water-polo
foosball.
Host segment 1: The Charlie McCarthey hearings.
Host segment 2: Nuclear quiz show.
Host segment 3: Joel's Russian counterpart on the Hexfield.
End: J&TB upset about the movie, letter, the Mads are
happy.
Stinger: "Help me!"
Comments and observations:
- A couple of firsts in this ep: BBI was a bit bugged by how
much of the screen Tom Servo's head was covering,
so they installed a skinnier version of the Executive Snack Dispenser
and announced that Tom had received a "haircut."
The experiment would only last a few episodes.
- The episode ends with the first ever "stinger"--a short
snippet, usually the oddest moment, from
the film. It's a practice they would continue for the rest of the
series.
- Another first--they've finally ironed out how the Hexfield
ViewScreen works, dispensing with that high-tech
window shade technology.
- I didn't notice until I got to the Conventio-con and saw
the prop close up that all the figures in the water-polo
foosball game were tiny Dr. Forresters and Franks.
- The short in this episode has a character say, "the driver
is gone or he's hiding" in a very Ronald
Reagan-like voice. Crow's response was to do his best Reagan impression
and say "Welcome to Death Valley Days." For several seasons thereafter,
whenever Ronald Reagan needed to be invoked, somebody (usually
Crow) would do Reagan and say, "The driver is either missing or he's
gone" or some such
line. They did this so much that some fans began to believe that Reagan
actually said something like this and that this was a direct reference
to Reagan. He didn't. It wasn't. It was a reference to this moment in
this short, where they reminded of Reagan.
- Something else I never noticed before: Watch Joel as he
carries Tom into the theater after the first host segment--you
can see the silhouette of the stick attached to Tom as he hands it to
Kevin, first of all. And secondly, Kevin
apparently misses the handoff and Tom flops over.
- An excellent episode: three great host segments (the
Charlie McCarthy hearings segment and the civil defense
quiz show bits are typical of the long, densely written, almost
overwritten, host segments of this period, and
Mike is at his goofy, unassuming best as Joel's Russian counterpart)
and VERY strong riffing.
- Favorite riff: "That's why we've GOT TO CRUSH THEM!"
First shown: 11/3/90.
Opening: The bots trick Joel.
Invention exchange: Life-size "Operation" game, pin-bolus.
Host segment 1: The Old School.
Host segment 2: Autopsy of Mr. Hoover.
Host segment 3: Good thing/bad thing; the Mads send a
short!
End: Blindsided by the short; Song: "If Chauffeur's Ruled
the World."
Stinger: "Weird. I guess that is the word for it.
Weird."
Comments and observations:
- Joel's jumpsuit is green!
- Tom Servo still has his alternate head.
- In the opening we actually see Joel jump into the hatch
that we assume leads to the "spiral on down."
- The "bonk!-Thank You!" bit in Deep 13 is a direct reference
to Firesign Theater. It's clear the Brains
are fans of these seminal new-generation comedians. And for you members
of the Church of the Subgenius, the Rev.
Bob Dobson is also mentioned.
- The second host segment is very funny--but NOT to be
watched while or immediately after eating!
- The third segment features the final "Give me a good thing
and a bad thing for ram chips" bit that
was a fixture of the first season.
- This is the only episode in which the short FOLLOWS the
feature, necessitating an unusual return to Deep 13
in mid-episode.
- And this is also the final episode we will get of "The
Phantom Creeps." We'll never know how it comes
out!
- One note about the short: The spy ring is based in an
office disguised as an "International School of
Languages"--which was also where the spy ring was hiding in episode
109- Project Moonbase! Those language
teachers can't be trusted, I guess!
- Frank really comes into his own with his first song, the
memorable "If Chauffers Ruled the World"
(featuring the classic Dr. F. line "Oh, push the button, Judy
Garland!") saving what is generally a lesser
episode.
- Favorite riff: "Hey, that's where Fred Mertz dropped dead."
First shown: 11/17/90.
Opening: Gypsy is depressed, so Joel shuts down the SOL.
Invention exchange: Gypsy is feeling better; hobby hogs,
3-D pizza.
Host segment 1: Intellectual bikers.
Host segment 2: Wild Rebels cereal commercial.
Host segment 3: Joel serenades Gypsy.
End: J&TB party, letter, Dr. F. is baffled (and Frank
is no help).
Stinger: None.
Comments and observations:
- Joel, still in a green jumpsuit, is now sporting a cheesy
goatee.
- The team explains Gypsy's role on the SOL in the opening
segment, a bit that came in response to fan questions
about her. I never noticed before that he actually turns a little knob
on the back of Gypsy's head in order to
turn off the "higher functions."
- Another interesting note in that segment: Joel twice
actually calls the theater the "Mystery Science Theater"--the
first and last time he would do that.
- Gypsy's second appearance in the theater (her first was in
episode 112- Untamed Youth) comes about ten minutes
into the movie when somebody mentions "Voyage to the Bottom of Sea."
- The "intellectual bikers" bit is another intensely written,
almost overwritten, sketch (including
the great line, "Everyone thought Joseph Campbell was tough, but that
was just a myth").
- For some reason, this episode has no stinger--the last
episode with no stinter until the brief stinger hiatus
in season eight. Maybe they just forgot.
First shown: 11/24/90
Opening: Coach Joel gives a locker room pep talk.
Invention exchange: Exercise machines.
Host segment 1: Hugh Beaumont on the Hexfield.
Host segment 2: "The Explorers" sketch bogs down.
Host segment 3: J&TB see The Cool Thing.
End: Analyzing the movie, letter.
Stinger: "Well, thanks for straightening the whole thing
out..."
Comments and observations:
- Joel is still in a green jumpsuit, still sporting a cheesy
goatee.
- An infamous episode featuring the mind-bloating "rock
climbing" sequence.
- This episode so moved one internet fan that he created a
"rock climbing FAQ (frequently asked questions)
file" that analyzed the "rock climbing" phenomenon within an inch of
its life.
- During this period, Joel and bots' response to the movie
was seen in a very black and white way--either Dr.
F "won" or Joel and the bots did. They never made this more explicit
than in the opening segment.
- Host segment 2 is probably a natural outgrowth of the
"white male reality" movies they had been watching,
but as Crow points out, it gets a bit preachy.
- Favorite riff: "Still talking to stuff, monkey boy?"
First shown: 12/8/90.
Opening: J&TB have colds.
Invention exchange: Sign language translator, "NOOOO!"
Host segment 1: Tom's flashback: J&TB do Shatner with
the crawling hand (from #106).
Host segment 2: Crow's flashback: Zero gravity humor
lesson (from #201).
Host segment 3: Joel's flashback: Binocular matte lesson
(from #203).
End: Gypsy's diary entry, letter, all get emotional (even
the Mads).
Stinger: Trumpeter makes unintelligible comment and is
dunked.
Comments and observations:
- In the ACEG, it is explained that most of the staff was out
of town for the writing of this episode, and boy
does it show.
- There's virtually no dialog during the opening. Weird.
- The Mads, still enjoying the "hobby hogs" from the previous
episode, offer no invention.
- The rest of the segments are just recycled bits from
previous shows--and the Shatner bit isn't really that
good. The riffing has its moments, but the movie is so tedious (and so
poorly dubbed) it doesn't give them much
to work with. All in all, a very forgettable episode, probably the
least enjoyable of season two, maybe of the
entire series.
- Favorite riff: "Ross...you're wearing her purse on your
head!"
First shown: 12/22/90.
Opening: Beat poetry.
Invention exchange: Crushed Dr. F. is the pocket
scientist, incredibly stinky sweat socks.
Host segment 1: Crow asks "Am I qualified?"
Host segment 2: Joey the lemur.
Host segment 3: The "Emotional Scientist" sketch collapses.
End: Robert Lippert's movies, the theramin, letter.
Stinger: Gator wrestling aftermath.
Comments and observations:
- Joel's goatee is gone--but Crow and Tom are wearing them in
the opening bit.
- Does anyone know whose poem Joel is reading in the opening?
- Once again, Joel seems to have run out of ideas in terms of
inventions...still, as is typical of this show
they have made a asset out of the liability, both the pocket scientist
sketch and the incredibly stinky sweatsocks
bit are funny, even if they aren't really inventions.
- Crow's inspirational speech, including the brilliant,
immortal words "Crush someone with an emotional
word or an enigmatic look," is one of the funniest segments of the
season.
- Segment two is the infamous "Joey the Lemur" bit, probably
one of the oddest sketches of the entire
series. Now, I like the "handmade" look of the show as much as the next
guy, but Joel continuously and
repeatedly blowing his lines here adds nothing to the humor or the
charm, in my opinion. It seems to me that the
parody of this sketch in season six is entirely deserved.
- But when it comes to strange sketches, segment three "The
emotional scientist" is beyond strange...
but on the other hand, it's nice to see Joel and the 'bots facing their
problems and resolving them...sheesh, I
sound like Leo Buscaglia!
- Favorite riff: "There is a margin for shame, however."
First shown: 12/29/90.
Opening: Adjusting Servo's sarcasm sequencer.
Invention exchange: Junk drawers.
Host segment 1: Crow and Tom make a robot that speaks in
foam.
Host segment 2: Tom soothes a gorilla on the Hexfield.
Host segment 3: Klack commercial.
End: Discussing the film (Tom's head explodes), letters
& Dr. F. is sick.
Stinger: Alphabet people wave good-bye.
Comments and observations:
- The classic "sarcasm sequencer" bit is among the most
well-remembered of the series--and features
yet another dig at Best Brains' least favorite comic, Gallagher.
- A reference to "Roseanne singing the National Anthem" in
this episode demonstrates the danger of
topical humor. How many people even remember that incident? Worse yet
is a reference to the Ha! Channel, which
was already gone by the time the episode aired.
- Host segment two, while generally lame, is highlighted by
the golden Irish tenor voice of Kevin Murphy.
- This episode also features one of THE most obscure
references ever: Crow's "...strange figgahs, weird
figgahs..." is an homage to a moment in The Marx Brothers film "Animal
Crackers."
- Host segment three's clever parody of the equally
nauseating commercials often featured on TV's Kraft Holiday
Playhouse, is hilarious but a little tough on the gag reflexes.
- Favorite riff: "Any interest I had for them getting safely
off the planet has been completely erased by
a miasma of boring technical stuff!"
First shown: 1/19/91.
Opening: J&TB host a morning magazine show.
Invention exchange: Easy-to-make Halloween costumes.
Host segment 1: Crow and Tom describe their monsters.
Host segment 2: "Rex Dart, Eskimo Spy."
Host segment 3: Dysfunctional popcorn commercial.
End: Joel gives Crow and Tom new arms, the Jet Jaguar
fight song is translated, the Mads are playing video
games.
Stinger: Godzilla takes the plunge.
Comments and observations:
- This, for me, remains one of the top five episodes in the
history of the series, and certainly the highlight
of season two. Very strong host segments, very witty riffing and a
reasonably watchable movie with plenty to riff
on. Also our first taste of the many Japanese movies to come next
season.
- Joel's half of the "easy-to-make Halloween costumes"
invention exchange is straight from his standup
act.
- Not really made clear in the host segment 1 is precisely
what Tom and Crow are looking at that they don't want
Joel to see. Could it be naughty pictures?
- Host segment 2 is one of those bits that seem so intensely
private that I think only the Brains really understood
fully what its point was. There really is no connection to the movie,
despite the clever reuse of footage from
it. No derivation of the name "Rex Dart" is provided, nor are we told
why he is an "eskimo spy."
We are left to presume that they decided the movie's hero looked
vaguely Eskimo-ish. Still, for all its obscurity
and vagueness, it's quite an wacky little bit.
- Host segment 3 is a brilliant piece of work, but is now
somewhat dated with passing of Orville Reddenbacher
and consequent end of the TV spots featuring him and his dorky
grandson. Interestingly, I think the sketch was
somewhat prescient. With his Orville's death, the younger Reddenbacher
has indeed disappeared into the night.
- The end segment features the gaspingly funny English
translation of "Jet Jaguar Fight Song." "Don't
touch my bags if you please, Mr. Customs Man" is a lyric from an old
Arlo Guthrie song. Its relevance to Jet
Jaguar still escape me, but at that point I'm generally laughing so
hard that I don't care.
- The final bit in Deep 13 points up BBI's growing love of
video and computer gaming, which only got more intense
as time went on.
- Favorite riff: "He's got a tree! He's got a tree! This
isn't the Godzilla we know!"
First shown: 2/2/91
Opening: Joel reads the Velveteen Rabbit and does all the
voices
Invention exchange: Mind controlled guitar, doggie chew
toy guitars
Host segment 1: Song: "The Godzilla Genealogy Bop"
Host segment 2: Joel succumbs to space madness
Host segment 3: Despite Joel's warning, Crow and Tom spoof
the Mothra twins, only to meet Mothra on the
Hexfield!
End: Famous sayings actors didn't say, some "Cool Thing
contest " entries, the Mads consider a
corporate re-think
Stinger: Everyone bows down before Mothra!
Comments and observations:
- Anything but a home run episode would have been a let-down
after the previous one, but this episode is a big
letdown, and a somewhat lackluster end to season two. Still, it has its
moments.
- One of them is an extremely obscure and high-brow riff: As
the dancers perform, Crow makes a reference to Anna
Kisselgoff, who is (or was) the dance critic for The New York Times.
- Just for the record, what Joel is reading in the opening
segment is nothing even remotely like the real "Velveteen
Rabbit."
- Joel actually sort of *acts* during segment two, in which
his character goes space mad and begins building
a series of strange models. It's worth noting, because he doesn't
generally do that (act, that is).
- At the end of the sketch, Joel even makes an oblique
reference to Ayn Rand. Even DISCUSSING Rand's controversial
worldview, like Robert Heinlein's, is dangerous and almost guaranteed
to spark a flamewar in any usenet newsgroup,
and apparently Joel's mention caused a pretty heated exchange in some
of the early online communities. Some of
my earliest memories of getting online and finding online MSTies, in
early 1992, are of people warning newcomers
NOT to even BRING UP mention Rand or Heinlein, because of what
happened.
- Favorite riff: "It's the Mothra Graham Dance Troupe."
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