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Sampo & Erhardt

Sci-Fi Archives

Visit our archives of the MST3K pages previously hosted by the Sci-Fi Channel's SCIFI.COM.

Goodbye Sci-Fi

Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett reflect on MST3K's final broadcast.

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Season’s Greetings from Satellite News!

childschristmasinspaceWith the holidays upon us, it’s time once again for our annual holiday tradition, A Child’s Christmas in Space by Tom Servo.

Tom: It’s quiet in the cold of our own little orbit, starless and Bible black. And as I look down on the big blue bean we would call home I think it so near, yet… oh, I wish on that star and I hope that in a little snow-covered house with a warm hearth and a loving family, maybe some kid is looking up tonight and wishing upon us. Oh, and how I hope sweet Santa will fly by tonight, because if he does I’m gonna reach right out and hug that big guy. Oh, for the sound of hooves against the steel hull of the ship. Oh, to see the rosy face of Santa in the porthole, offering me a Coke and a smile… (gradually becoming upset) …of course, his cheeks WOULD be rosy because it’s a VACUUM out there! I mean, Santa’s HEART would explode! (becoming hysterical) But HE wouldn’t feel it because the capillaries in his brain would pop like little firecrackers (Joel tries to calm him down) due to the blood boiling away in his face like pudding in a copper…OH THE HUMANITY!! (Now both Joel and Crow are trying to calm him down.) And his jolly old belly would start bubbling like a roasted marshmallow, eyes bulging and popping out… AND THE REINDEER–OH THE REINDEER!!!–keep floating like holiday floats and in turn exploding in a hail of blood and entrails! Prancer–BOOM! Dancer–BOOM!…
Joel: HEY!
Crow: Tom!
Joel: Tom, take it easy! Santa’s gonna be okay, buddy.
Tom: You sure?
Joel: Yeah, give him a little credit, okay?
Tom: Phew, what a relief!

And it is with that sense of relief that we want to offer you our best wishes for the Swayziest holiday season ever, if that’s okay, and hopes for an amazing colossal new year.

–The Maintainers of Satellite News

Thanks to our pal Sabrina Zbasnik for the gorgeous image.

This Date in MSTory

1874: Canadian prime minister William Lyon Mackenzie King, who appeared as himself in the short JOHNNY AT THE FAIR, seen in episode 419- THE REBEL SET.
1891: Arthur Hoerl, screenwriter for the “Rocky Jones Space Ranger” episodes seen in episode 413- MANHUNT IN SPACE.
1896: Anastasiya Zuyeva, the storyteller in the movie “Morozko,” seen in episode 813- JACK FROST.
1899: Varvara Popova, who played an old woman in the movie in episode 813- JACK FROST.
1915: Joan Woodbury, who played Gadra in the movie in episode 1103- THE TIME TRAVELLERS.
1917: Louis Palange, the musical score composer for the movie in episode 210- KING DINOSAUR.
1933: John Brennan, who played Junior in the movie in episode 601- GIRLS TOWN.

1956: Eddie Acuff (age 53), who played Mac in the season two serial THE PHANTOM CREEPS.
1958: Charles Gross (age 44), editor of the movies in episodes 311- IT CONQUERED THE WORLD and 511- GUNSLINGER.
1970: Joji Oka (age 66), who played the Phantom of Krankor in the movie in episode 816- PRINCE OF SPACE.
1978: Don Ellis (age 44), who composed the musical score for the movie in episode 111- MOON ZERO TWO.
1983: Hal Pereira (age 78), production designer for the movie in episode 906- THE SPACE CHILDREN.
1991: James Landis (age 65), dubbing director of the English version for the movie in episode 505- THE MAGIC VOYAGE OF SINBAD.
2005: Trevor Duncan (age 81), a stock music composer whose music was heard, uncredited, in the movies in episodes 810- THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION, 416- FIRE MAIDENS OF OUTER SPACE, 1005- BLOOD WATERS OF DR. Z.

1994: episode 619- RED ZONE CUBA (with the short SPEECH: PLATFORM POSTURE AND APPEARANCE) first shown.

1964: The movie in episode 321- SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS, just out in theaters, is reviewed in The New York Times.
1966: The movie “GOJIRA, EBIRA, MOSURA: NANKAI NO DAI KETTO,” featured in 213- GODZILLA VS. THE SEA MONSTER, has its premiere in Japan, its country of origin.

This Date in MSTory is written and compiled by Steve Finley, Chris Cornell and Brian Henry. Copyright © 2018 All rights reserved. Please do not reproduce This Date in MSTory items in any form without express written permission from the authors.
* = According to the IMDB this person is alive. If you can supply evidence that he or she has died, and when, please let us know.
** = If this appears next to a birthday, the IMDB indicates that the person has died, but the IMDB does not have a full death date (probably just a month and year or just the year he or she died). If you can give us the exact date (with some sort of proof we can check), please let us know.
** = If this appears next to a death date, the IMDB does not have this person’s full birthday. If you can provide it (with some sort of proof we can check), please let us know.

Weekend Discussion Thread: Sports Team Names

Alert reader Murdock Hauser opines:

So you are an owner of professional sports team and if you could rename the team after anything MST3K ,what would it be? As a long time suffering diehard Phoenix Suns fan in the NBA, I’d go with the Phoenix Saaaaaaaaaaaannnd Stooooorms or just Sandstorms. Also you can make a team up if you want, like the Castleton Bob Evils. Now what say you?

Oh, I like the Scranton Gila Monsters. “Lalalalalala LOAD THE BASES!”

Your pick?

Now Available from RiffTrax…

Download it here.

Another Christmas Short from RiffTrax…

Get it here.