by Pearl Forrester
Pearl Forrester here. How am I? I'm fine, thanks - thanks for asking. Yes, I'm fine now, but I had a very rugged day, I'll tell you that for free. First of all, I showed up for my weekly appointment at Rick! Hair! where I've been getting my hair done for ages. Rick! wasn't there. Now I'm a pretty patient person but when he didn't show up after 90 seconds of me waiting, I was somewhat miffed. I barked at the receptionist gal, Trina, "Where the hell is Rick!?" Trina told me that Rick! wasn't there. Now, I have real good people skills but I reamed out Trina like there was no tomorrow. I think she appreciated it because it will help her to do her job better in the future.
So I got back into the VW where Bobo, my personal ape, and the Brain Guy were waiting for me. I had left them with their Happy Meals, travel Yahtzee and some Highlights magazines, and the window cracked open 1/8 of an inch. Bobo offered to do my hair but I explained to him that I had been going to Rick! Hair! for ages and while appreciated his offer there was no way in hell I was gonna let him near my tresses. To be honest, I think he was just a little too eager to do my hair. Brain Guy offered to do my hair with his mind but he didn't have hot rollers so that was out. We drove over to Rick!'s because I know that he sometimes does hair out of his bathroom but no one's supposed to know, especially the IRS. Rick! answered the door in his robe and I could hear The Ricki Lake Show blaring in the background. I, quite diplomatically, confronted Rick! about my hair. Turns out he'd had a bad night, he wasn't feeling so good. Well, guess what? I don't feel so good every single day of my life but do I blow off all my obligations? No. I still take the time to lovingly berate people for inconveniencing me, and I, very tactfully, yelled that at Rick! Rick! was very understanding and accommodating, and while Bobo and Brain Guy watched Jerry Springer, Carnie and Rolanda, Rick! did my hair and we had a lovely time.
Next week - I get my nails done.