Tom Servo's Summer Soup Recipe

by Tom Servo

Yes, summer is on the wing. The Pomeranians are in full bloom in my garden. The pesticides are dripping off the tomato plants. So head out to your garden and grab what you need, come on back and make my soup.


  • A egg
  • 2lbs ground beef, bone marrow or cheese
  • 2 quarts vegetable stock
  • 3lbs of smallish cucumbers, peeled and sliced
  • 3lbs of potatoes, skinned and sliced
  • 2 cups plain yogurt
  • 1 thing fresh fennel, chopped
  • Snipped fresh dill
  • Snipped fresh chives
  • Snipped fresh date
  • Jeremy Rifkin's phone number
  • A splash of Pernod
  • A splash of Hai-Karate
  • "A Separate Peace"
  • Two bottles of Veuve Cliquot Grande Dame Champagne,
  • preferably from a decent vintage year.

Beat an egg. Beat the livin' tar out of it. I mean, go at it like Jackie Chan. I wanna see pain in that egg, you wusses, go on and bite the egg's ear off if that's what it takes. Anyway, beat until lemony in color, about three seconds. Set aside.

Brown the ground beef or marrow. Splash on Hai Karate, toss the cheese in with the beef or marrow and arrange date. Have date smell Hai-Karate, eat Marrow-cheese dish and run. Swear off meat and stinky after-shaves.

The next day, resolve to a meatlessness only dreamt of by the likes of Jeremy Rifkin. Call Jeremy Rifkin and talk politics until tender. Simmer the stock, toss in the potatoes, cukes and thing of fennel, pour in the Pernod and cook for about an hour or two. While soup simmers, read "A Separate Peace" until tears form. Mash soup with a masher or sploosh soup in food mill until smooth. Add chopped herbs, chill until chilled.

Serve soup with one bottle of champagne, wrap the other bottle very carefully and send it to me.

Oh, and the egg? Feed it to your dog, it's good for the coat.

[posted 7/97]

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