Bit: Heads You Lose

Episode: 101- The Crawling Eye

Transcription by Bill Evenson


Joel: Okay, what did you guys think of the movie so far?
Crow: Well, I thought there'd be more music. You know, more of a Julie Andrews quality!
Tom: Julie Andrews quality? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?
Joel: Now, come on. Crow, what did you think of the movie so far?
Crow: Well, Joel, I can't understand why everybody's so upset about losing their heads. What's so bad about that? I've seen Servo's head on the work bench lots of times!
Tom: Yeah, it screws right off. It's a pop top!
Joel (laughs): Listen, it's not like that, it's really. Human beings are made completely different, you guys. Once our heads are separated from our bodies, that's pretty much the end of the show for us. It's just the way we're made.
Crow: Can't you use your back-up copy and reboot?
Joel: Uh, no. Nope. Nothing like that.
Crow: Well, then why do people say that, they're always like, "I'd lose my head if it wasn't screwed on?"
Tom: Yeah, and people often say their heads aren't in the right places.
Crow: Yeah, and Joel, once I heard the scientists talking, and they said you had your head up your-- (Joel grabs Crow's beak, cutting him off)
Joel: Uh, well, uh, Crow, that was just a figure of speech, all right?
Crow: Figure of speech? Now what's that supposed to mean?
Tom: Oh, like the body of a paragraph, perhaps?
Crow: I think that's a literary figure.
Tom: Oh, maybe like Edna St. Vincent Millay?
Crow: Now there's a body!
Joel: Now listen, you guys, I'm trying to teach you something, all right?
Tom: Joel, what about head games?
Crow: And head trips?
Tom: And how do you explain head cheese?
Crow: Eww...
Joel: Well, uh, head cheese? I don't explain head cheese. But, uh, (to Cambot) here are some people who do.