Bit: Gypsy Uncoils

Episode: 101- The Crawling Eye

Transcription by Bill Evenson


(Close shot on Crow)

Crow: He's not gonna like this! (Cambot pans right to Tom Servo)
Tom: And I'm not gonna tell him. You tell him! (Cambot pans left back to Crow)
Crow: Well, maybe he won't notice. (Cambot pans right to Tom Servo)
Tom: Oh, yeah. Right. (Annoyed) Hey, Cambot, could you speed this up a little bit?
(Joel enters, investigates the black tubing hanging from the ceiling.)
Crow: Uh, oh.
Tom: Oh, he's here! Oh..
Crow: Uh, Joel, I don't want to be teacher's pet or anything, but Gypsy uncoiled herself again!
Joel: Yeah, she did. Cambot, could you widen it out, so everybody can see this? (Cambot pulls back to reveal the room is filled with black tubing) Gypsy! I know you're in here! Quit hiding! You clown, get out here! (No response) Oh, let's do that thing we did, okay?
Tom: All right.
Joel (loudly, so Gypsy will hear): It's too bad Gypsy's not here, huh, Crow and Servo?
Tom and Crow: Yeah, yeah.
Joel: Yeah, it's too bad she's going to miss out on those piping hot ram chips!
Tom and Crow: Mmmmm!
(Gypsy emerges from behind Joel)
Gypsy: Ram chips?
Joel: Oh, All right, I knew you were around here somewhere. Listen. You know you're not supposed to come out without using the service portal. Now look. I want to show you this. (Gypsy groans in dismay as Joel removes her eye and scans it around the room) See this big mess? All over the place. That's... Hey, this is how you look, okay? Now otherwise, we're going to have exo-service spinal bundle all over the place!
Gypsy: What?
Joel: The black stuff!
Gypsy: Oh. Hey, Joel!
Joel: What's that?
Gypsy: I got an itch!
Joel: Oh, wonderful. She's got an itch!
Tom: Terrific! Happy day!
Joel: Okay, where is it, Gypsy?
Gypsy: Vertebrae 6805 through 7019!
Joel: Vertebrae 6905 through 7018, okay, you guys, start scratching. Where's my rake?
Crow: Oh, I hate it when she gets diode rash!
Joel: Me, too. (They are all scratching. Tom Servo is on the floor.) Uh, Tom Servo, I think, uh, you're scratching on the solar collector cable.
Tom: Oh, great.
Joel: So am I. Wait a minute, now. Here, okay.
Tom: Why am I doing this? I hate being the end-man. I scratch here and it takes her six hours to feel it in her head.
Joel: I know what you mean.
Crow: Uh, Joel?
Joel: Yeah?
Crow: Uh, I don't want to ask a stupid question, but ... Why'd you make her so big?
Joel: Well, you know how it's... I-it's kind of like when you start connecting paper clips together, you kind of get hooked on it? It's kind of like that.
Tom: Oh, my.
Joel: What's that, Tom?
Tom: Uh, Joel, you know when we were speculating on her sex?
Joel: Yeah.
Tom: Well, I think I may have narrowed it down, here.
Joel: Oh, yeah?
Tom: Oh, oh, check that. Sorry. False alarm.
Joel: Wait a minute. Here's the, um,... I think I found the problem. She's jammed in here behind the door. (Joel is back by the theater door)
Crow: Hey, don't open that door, McGee!
(Joel opens the door and loads of Gypsy fall on him, a la Fibber McGee and Molly)
Joel: Happens every time! We got movie sign!

(movie sign)