Bit: The Crawling Forrest Tucker
Episode: 101- The Crawling Eye
Crow: Oh, Joel!
It was so horrifying!
really? You think so?
Tom: So ugly! So
Joel: Uh, yeah,
that was some eye, wasn't it?
Crow: No, not the
eye, we're talking about Forrest Tucker.
Tom: Oh, yeah,
all that Vitalis, those prop glasses, and those
heavy...dramatic... pauses. I'm drained!
Joel: No, you
guys. No, you got it wrong. You see, the eye is what's
horrible about this movie. Think about it. Otherwise it
would've been called "The Crawling Forrest Tucker"!
Tom: I guess.
Joel, what's so scary about a big eye, anyway?
Joel: Oh, I see.
Well, that's another human being thing. You know, anytime
we're confronted with some, uh, appendage of ours that's
disconnected and free-roaming, rogue, you know, genetically
bloated to ten times its normal size, we're automatically
if they run in packs!
Tom: Ho, ho. I
know what you mean. Once I got hassled by a pack of really
tough pituitary glands. And you know how immature they can
Crow: I still
don't see why it's so scary. You could just walk up to it
and throw salt at it!
Tom: Or just a
squeeze of lemon juice!
Joel: Right, I
know, it's kind of a plot hole. But, let's kind of look it
over. You see, these... Okay, these giant eyes come from a
world that's designed for them, you know? It's completely
compatible, like their highways are made out of nerf, and,
um, oh, they don't have to take shop classes.
Crow: And they
only use baby shampoo?
Right, exactly. So anyway, they come down from this planet
and they decide to land on a mountain peak.
Tom: Which is
really stupid, because as we all know, a giant sharp point
is the giant eye's natural enemy.
Joel: Bingo. So
anyway, they come down, and, uh, they fouled up their
atmosphere somehow. I don't know, it's hay fever season, or
something, and they figured they'd come down to Earth, we'll
have our first frost already done with. So, they come down,
and they have no concept of anything at all, like wearing
safety glasses, or protective eyewear of any kind.
Crow: Joel, I
think we've already spent more time examining this plot than
the writers ever did.
snaps head towards Cambot) Now, here's something you'll