Bit: AT THE BARBER SHOP
Episode: 105- The Corpse Vanishes
(Crow uses scissors to snip at Joel's hair. Tom sits to one side reading a copy of Tiger Bot magazine)
Crow: (Whistling) So, what can I do for you today, big boy?
Joel: Uh, just gimme' the usual.
Crow: Alright, you want the ears left on? Nah, just a little barber joke, there. (Sniffs) Well. Oh, say, did you hear about the Mason boy?
Joel: Jimmy, the oldest?
Crow: Yeah, got caught in the family thrasher machine!
Tom: Dad had to pull him out with the come-along!
Crow: Yeah, well, the good news is now he gets to play center over at the new high school! Turn, please!
Joel: On the basketball team?
Tom: Looks like the Dixons are marrying out their youngest.
Joel: Ah, Pixie. She's a super gal!
Crow: Yeah, I remember her when she was just a little darling. She's marrying the Fenton boy. He's trouble! Lean left Nah, your OTHER left, hehehe! Yeah, he's taking hydraulics over at the Vo-Tech.
Tom: Didn't that refrigeration course pan out for him?
Crow: Well, it did until the freon accident! Hey, what do you want me to do with this cyst?
Joel: Uh, just comb over it, okay? You know I saw the Fentons over to the hot fish shop, ya' know?
Tom: Oh, they do a nice job over there! Oh, the relish tray: to die for! We gotta bring the girls down there! They'd just love it!
Joel: Yeah, they'd love that place.
Crow: Ooop! Was that your ear?
Crow: How 'bout THAT?
Tom: There goes your tip!
Crow: Yeah, well. Hey, you know, I was at the Crazy Days over at Boskerville, you know, the other day for that clown parade thing they do, Joel. Yeah, you've heard of that, for sure? They get the Lion's Club together with the Kiwannis from Ellsworth. There's about 150 of 'em there for this Clown Jamboree, you know. You know, well, about 150 clowns running wild in the street with the big clown suits and the fake mustard and all that stuff
Joel: Well, they do a wonderful job!
Crow: Yeah, well, I know how much you boys like clowns, you know. Well, these boys, anyway, they took a few tall, cold ones and that wasn't even enough and they had a few road sodas with them, you know what I mean? And they ended up rolling that fire engine right there in the Main Street! Gasoline and clown white, all over the road! Yeah, you know, those clown shoes burn like black tires! Yep, big black stinky cloud hanging over the whole ugly scene. Why, they're STILL picking up clown noses! Yep. They called the coroner from up at Bixby, you know. He's got that ambulance from the war. He's the only one in town. They STILL managed to cram all 200 of them clowns into that little, bitty wagon! Yep. Yep. Sad. (Cut)