Satellite News -- Ward E -- Bit107b

Bit: The Roman the Ro-Man Pagent

Episode: 107- Robot Monster

Transcribed by


(Joel and bots rise into view, wearing trash bags and humming. As one person speaks, the others keep humming the same music and swaying in time.)

Joel: In honor of this week's film being over with, the robots and I have organized a brief skit titled...Servo?
Tom (clears throat): The Life and Times of Roman the Ro-Man Pagent.
Crow: Or, In Search of the Historical Robot Monster. (Brief humming interlude.)
Joel: Fact: Roman the Ro-Man destroyed almost all of Earth's population save for six refugees. Yet, they all lived within a short walk of his cave.
Tom: Fact: Roman the Ro-Man used a cosmic ray that kept the cities of the world intact, to be enjoyed later by all Ro-Man. Yet, he lived in a cave. And not even a very good cave.
Crow: Heh, yeah, slag-heap. Oh. (clears throat) Fact: Roman the Ro-Man was an artificially created being devoid of any human passions, normal fears, tenderness, or forgiveness, ultimately lacking that which mortals cling to most: humanity. Yet he liked bubbles. (chuckles)

(brief humming interlude)

Joel: Roman the Ro-Man came from a civilization light-years ahead of Earth, or at least the Earth protrayed in the film. Yet, he frequently gestured like Howie Mandel. Go figure.
Crow: We believe these truths to be self-evident--and obvious.
Tom: Please give to the United Robot College Fund.
Joel: Because an internal hard drive is a terrible thing to waste. Think about it, won't you? (All hold last hummed note and bow.)

[Deep 13]

Dr. F: Could we have sent a stranger person into space? What in the name of Jules Bergman was that?
Erhardt: You think maybe he's had enough up there? I think he's snapped!
Dr. F: By no means. (Hands Erhardt clipboard.) Here, file this. (Erhardt takes clipboard and walks away.) Well, until next week, Jumpsuit Joelie. (pushes button)