Satellite News -- Ward E -- Bit107b

Bit: The Roman the Ro-Man Pagent

Episode: 107- Robot Monster

Transcribed by heiner@asu.edu


[SOL]

(Joel and bots rise into view, wearing trash bags and humming. As one person speaks, the others keep humming the same music and swaying in time.)

Joel: In honor of this week's film being over with, the robots and I have organized a brief skit titled...Servo?
Tom (clears throat): The Life and Times of Roman the Ro-Man Pagent.
Crow: Or, In Search of the Historical Robot Monster. (Brief humming interlude.)
Joel: Fact: Roman the Ro-Man destroyed almost all of Earth's population save for six refugees. Yet, they all lived within a short walk of his cave.
Tom: Fact: Roman the Ro-Man used a cosmic ray that kept the cities of the world intact, to be enjoyed later by all Ro-Man. Yet, he lived in a cave. And not even a very good cave.
Crow: Heh, yeah, slag-heap. Oh. (clears throat) Fact: Roman the Ro-Man was an artificially created being devoid of any human passions, normal fears, tenderness, or forgiveness, ultimately lacking that which mortals cling to most: humanity. Yet he liked bubbles. (chuckles)

(brief humming interlude)

Joel: Roman the Ro-Man came from a civilization light-years ahead of Earth, or at least the Earth protrayed in the film. Yet, he frequently gestured like Howie Mandel. Go figure.
Crow: We believe these truths to be self-evident--and obvious.
Tom: Please give to the United Robot College Fund.
Joel: Because an internal hard drive is a terrible thing to waste. Think about it, won't you? (All hold last hummed note and bow.)

[Deep 13]

Dr. F: Could we have sent a stranger person into space? What in the name of Jules Bergman was that?
Erhardt: You think maybe he's had enough up there? I think he's snapped!
Dr. F: By no means. (Hands Erhardt clipboard.) Here, file this. (Erhardt takes clipboard and walks away.) Well, until next week, Jumpsuit Joelie. (pushes button)

(cut)

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