Bit: The Reporters of Rocketship X-M

Episode: 201- Rocketship X-M

Transcribed by


(Joel walks in between bots, who are humming a marching tune. As one person speaks, the others continue the march.)

Joel: We of the Satellite of Love take this time to salute some of the unsung heros of today's film...
Tom and Crow: The reporters of Rocketship X-M.
Joel: They are the unsung heros that cuddle in back rooms, nameless, like so many cattle, ummm...They are...slightly out of focus, and uhh...we hold forth that they should not be forgotten.
Tom: They are the journalists, the plucky personnel of the press corps, whose mighty pens and pencils dutifully record whatever drivel they are fed. Proud and passionate, nonplussed by the elegant beauty of the United STates space program.
Crow: And so, we present to you the journalists of Rocketship X-M. Ahh, role them slides, Cambot.
Joel: Meet correspondent Donald Bunsen, science editor for the Ellenmeyer Flash. His scathing seven-part series on stopcocks almost won him the 1953 Pulitzer Prize. 8:06:26.
Tom: The famous twin reporting team of Dirk and Kirk Burger, who cover both sides of a story--Dirk up front and Kirk always from behind. Their style is like an Oreo cookie--hard-biting reporters on the outside, a creamy story in between.
Crow: On the left, Hugh Beaumont's brother Spike, hairstyle editor for Today's Rugged Man. The boys in the City Room say Spike can sniff out an ounce of Palmade from inside a locked closet. Notice Spike has donned his flying-wing lapel suit in preparation for today's plum assignment--the trend-setting hair helmet of Lloyd Bridges.
Joel: Peering over Spike's left shoulder is Foreign Affairs correspondent for Digest Digest, Peter K. Wimple. Mild-mannered and meek to a fault, Wimple's motto is: When will it be my turn now? 9:18:07.
Tom: Ladie's Home Foundation Garments is well-represented by cub reporter Robert Bland. Here we see him gathering information for his upcoming piece on zero-gravity girdles. Don't let that flint-hard exterior fool you--he's wearing a Warner bra, trimmed with delicate peek-a-boo lace.
Crow: Leering in from the back is chief editor of White Male Perspective, Wilhelm Studman, visibly upset with the intrusion of a mere girl into a man's world. Studman keeps his distance because Chanel #5 gives him hives. Heh, heh, heh. The boys in the Press Corps have nicknamed him 'The Golem.'
Joel: And there's so many more. There's Billy and Frank and Judy.
Tom: Fast-talking Fanny and Automatic Slim.
Crow: There's Roy and Scoop and Cold Type.
Joel: Owlman, Mr. Peepers, and the Leech.
Tom: And this guy. He's a Woozle; his name is Peanut.
Joel: These are the men and women of the Press Corps, who will do anything for a story.
Crow: Unless they're told to withhold information. (Chuckles)
All: We salute the Press Corps of Rocketship X-M.
Tom: Excelsior!