Bit: THE KLACK COMMERCIAL

Episode: 211- First Spaceship On Venus

Tom: (At microphone) And we'll be right back after this message...

Tom: (Voice-over): Hi - Ed Herlihy here, hoping youíre enjoying tonightís Klack Festival
Theater presentation of First Spaceship to Venus. You know, holiday season is the perfect time to enjoy Klackís Industrial Saladoos-based snacks and snippets, any time of the day or year.

Start the morning with a Technicolor yawn by serving up piles of flabby Klack leather pancakes, dotted with Dicey Cocoa Stumps. Kids canít resist the texture of Klackís Creamy Clotted Palm Spread squeezed out on Horsey Biscuits. And donít forget the Sir Cheddar Snack-a-Lots! And top them with Chimi Hats for a Western roundup and safe snacking. And moms - donít forget to serve the clabber club platters of Salamander Fingerwiches, Creamy Crust Puppies, and hey - try a load of Taco Mince Meat Relish Parfait served up in a tulip glass for that touch of elegance.

Uncle Bobís just out of the institution! Celebrate with Skin Mittens brightened up with gamey forced-meat stuffing, and donít forget those Polynesian Cheese Devils. Then, pinch off some Klack Hanger-Crafted Cobra Coils to complement a Bastille Day buffet, and lube up those Cooter Cakes with that incredibly edible Spreadable Phlegm. Watch kittyís galvanic skin response shoot through the ceiling by wrapping him in Klack Wrap and making her [sic] a festive centerpiece. At lunchtime, light your hand on fire and plunge it into the traditional Gut-Loaf Whistle Pie - just like Grandpa used to do before they took him away.

And finally - dress your holiday table in style with a Gold-Roasted Mutant Hellbeast, stuffed with Flesh-Button Dressing made fresh with Klack Saladoos, Cooter Croutons, and grandmotherís earlobes - always the best. Accent with Creamy Crust Puppies, velvety Choke [?] Balls, and of course, a mug of holiday swill.

Remember: If youíre incapable of showing emotion but know how to cook, Klack has a holiday snack idea for you.

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